Parents VENT-Ridiculous favoritism for HC's DD

[Amber]

OK...it has being going on for years, but I need a small vent! HC's DD's daughter receives such different treatment than any child on our large team it is starting to bug me. HC says DD(8) is not going elite, but, all actions say otherwise...this girl has skipped several levels (scored out of) with the bare minimum score. She did ok at level 5, and is so-so at level 7. This girl is the only child in our gym that was allowed to do this. Other's coaches (and parents) DDs have scored higher, and have better skills than this girl, and yet they do one level per year, like the rest of us. During practice, HC's DD gets basically private lessons every day. When the girls line up for bars, there is like 7 of them, but the turns go, level 7 girl, HC girl, different level 7 girl, HC girl, etc. I have seen the coaches roll their eyes at this girl getting to go every other turn at every practice. It's like that on all of the equipment. HC's DD completes alone at several meets no one else on team goes to, and when she goes to meets where the rest of the team go, she wears a different competition leo and warm-up (not our team leo)! Team girls get is severe trouble if they show up in anything but the comp gear. The gym's website is plastered with video's of this girl (and only her out of the whole team).
This has nothing to do with my family, and does not affect my family, but it is annoying to no end! The HC is also not doing DD any favors...the videos are not that impressive, and DD's scores are getting lower because of moving the girl up way too fast.
It just bugs me because we have a team handbook, and it applies to every kid, except this one.
Nothing to be done about it, but I needed a vent

 

[Deleted member D3987]

wow. coach is setting their own child up for failure. wheww...poor kid.

 

[bogwoppit]

This was the thing that turned me off our gym. Secret meets, hours more training, special treatment for the hc's kids. I could go on for pages.

It is ugly and unprofessional.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

Wow, that would be incredibly annoying! This preferential treatment is only going to make this girl NOT feel part of the team. I know there is nothing you can really do since it is the HC's DD but is that also the owner? Maybe the owner should be made aware how this is affecting the team as a whole. So unprofessional and elitist!

 

[Amber]

I wish I could say something to the owner, but like I said, my girls are not on the same level as HC's DD, so thankfully, are not affected by the lack of attention. But the other level 7 girls are definitely affected by getting less practice, and everyone is afraid to tick off the HC, whose motto is "my way or the highway"...

 

[gymdog]

Wow. This is one of the worst cases I've ever heard of. There's often drama in this situation even when the coach is handling it well, but the issues cited here are way out of bounds. But honestly the one you have to feel worst for is the kid. So if I were in the conversation when other parents are buzzing about it, I would just redirect it to wishing the best for the child involved.

 

[Gymmommy71]

Uggh...I would hate that so much. I always feel so bad for the girls who are unfortunate to be the same age and/or level of the "favorite" of the gym. It is often not a good situation to be in. I'm guessing the training must be pretty good if they are sticking around in spite of it?

 

[Amber]

Uggh...I would hate that so much. I always feel so bad for the girls who are unfortunate to be the same age and/or level of the "favorite" of the gym. It is often not a good situation to be in. I'm guessing the training must be pretty good if they are sticking around in spite of it?

Actually, our level 7's and above do not do well. They are coached by one coach, the HC. Our team is a big pyramid. We have an enormous amount of girls in levels 2,3,4,5. Then there is a steep drop off. The coaches who supervise the lower/middle levels are excellent. There is just not enough attention for level 7 and above...girls teaching each other, lots of injuries. I have brought the lacking of coaches in higher levels up to HC, directly, and HC says it will not change, HC prefers sole control of upper level and will not share coaching. Our plan is to keep our girls in till level 6, then unless something changes, find a better, safer fit. Our girls are doing well now, and learning strong basics, but I will not risk them for the HC's short-sightedness in the future (if they are still doing gym )

 

[DND]

Above description sounds like Abbey Lee!

 

[JessLW]

Usually I roll my eyes a bit at "favoritism" posts but this has got to be one of the worst cases of blatant favoritism I have ever heard of and you'll get no eye rolling here! I think I'd find a new gym sooner rather than later, the environment sounds toxic.

 

[wallflower]

Crazy! Can you elaborate on the girl wearing a different leotard to meets? Why in the world would the HC want her DD to wear something different?

I agree with the other poster. If you are going to leave shortly anyway, go ahead and take that plunge.

 

[gymgal]

wow! are your girls going to eventually get this coach? I'd be out of there before it happens - especially if the optionals don't well, as you mentioned....

 

[Amber]

Crazy! Can you elaborate on the girl wearing a different leotard to meets? Why in the world would the HC want her DD to wear something different?

I agree with the other poster. If you are going to leave shortly anyway, go ahead and take that plunge.

Last year HC's DD went to a meet solo with HC, and wore a "non-team" competition leo, and this year, took it even further-a non-team competition leo and matching warm-up. Why? No idea..HC's DD competes with other kids on our team... who are all in our team colors. Trying to set her DD apart? Has too much money to blow on leos? I have no idea...but, we parents are not thrilled with the rigidity of our team hairstyle, so it just adds to the unfairness.

We are really happy with our current middle level coaches...dreading when the scenario changes!

 

[bogwoppit]

It won't get better. We also observed the Leo/warm up thing, special treatment, not wanting to condition and getting away with it. It never got better, the kids resented it, parents were irked by it. The hc would deny it if confronted about it. It was a gong show.

It does the kids no favours as they become pariahs and especially when they have a "better than the rest" attitude that goes with it. Our little princess had to be first on everything at every practice, she would also yell across the gym for her mom to spot her when she was with another coach. If she was beaten by a team mate at competitions the whole room felt her wrath, crying, yelling, sulking etc etc.

Leaving is the only sure way of not dealing with it.

 

[Seeker]

Wow! That sounds really horrible! Glad you don't have to deal with that anymore, bog!

 

[bogwoppit]

It is the part about the girls gym career that I do not look back on fondly. I do not miss that drama.

 

[wallflower]

Last year HC's DD went to a meet solo with HC, and wore a "non-team" competition leo, and this year, took it even further-a non-team competition leo and matching warm-up. Why? No idea..HC's DD competes with other kids on our team... who are all in our team colors. Trying to set her DD apart? Has too much money to blow on leos? I have no idea...but, we parents are not thrilled with the rigidity of our team hairstyle, so it just adds to the unfairness.

We are really happy with our current middle level coaches...dreading when the scenario changes!

Not that it makes it any better, but she went solo to a meet and wore something different or went to a meet with all her teammates and wore something different?

 

[Amber]

Not that it makes it any better, but she went solo to a meet and wore something different or went to a meet with all her teammates and wore something different?

Both...went to a meet alone last year in a different leo. Went to a meet this year with other girls on our team, and had a different warm-up and leo.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

not to be a smartypants but at least if she does poorly people may think she is from a different gym since she is wearing something different!

 

[mommyof1]

Above description sounds like Abbey Lee!

Who is that?