Parents Viewing Priviledges

[Sparky]

Would also like to add, that honestly, with dd training 25 hours a week, and going to school full-time, watching practice is one of the main ways that she and I stay "in contact". If she specifically did not want me to watch, I wouldn't. It has little to do with trusting the coaches, being there in case of injury, etc. I simply like to spend time with my kids, and when they are involved in such an intense sport, you do what you can.

 

[sleeplessinnewyork]

Our gym has "open practices" once or twice a month where parents from team can come and watch the whole practice. This policy,however, was only implemented because we had an " olympic boom" and there are TONS of rec kids, so the parents take up the viewing box. Most team parents just occasionally come 1/2 hour early or so to watch a little. I'm not sure, but watching a 3-5 hour practice must be hard!

 

[GymBeeMom]

My post was never meant to offend. I found that I had the personal experience of spending so much time watching her when she was a level 4 that I wasn't getting other things done. I was not making the best use of my time. I also discovered this was her time with her coaches and not "our time" together. When I "let go", I found that I could get my necessary chores done and then when she was done with gym, we could spend valuable time together. I wasn't doing all my chores while my kids were home, I was getting them done while they were in activities. I still like to watch now and then, but for me "letting go" meant I could go on with my life and let my kids live theirs without me next to them. Now, when I see her meets I am in awe of her progress and and our time at home is spent hanging out or doing other things together than dishes and laundry (since I do those while they are at gym).

It does seem at our gym that the upper level parents don't go watch much. For whatever their reasons, they don't. At our gym it is the level 4 and 5 moms that stay. I did stay when she was first on team, too. Again, I meant no judgement or offense.

 

[LizzieLac]

Team parents are told they can watch practice once per month. Many parents come a little early to pick up so they can catch a little of practice. However, this doesn't always work, becuase the last "station" of the night can be conditioning. After 10 minutes of watching girls sit in over-splits, do pull-ups, or hollow rocks, most vow never to come early to pick up again!!

 

[gymmomtotwo]

Yep, there always seems to be conditioning at the end. I think the coaches plan it that way!! Anyway, it's hard not to watch my preteamer every once in awhile as she is in a three year program before she starts competing Level5. Are these gyms that don't allow viewing really suggesting that people may not see what their kid is doing for years. Never see what they are working on, never see what new things they have learned, and forking out $300 plus a month without any feedback? Because the only way I know remotely what my kid is doing is if I watch 15 minutes of practice every once in awhile. There are no meets, nothing for several years. Is there any other child activity where the parent would be asked to just continue paying without being able to see progress??

 

[LoriLou]

Our gym doesn't have that policy, but I can see why they would. Most of the moms who have daughters beyond L4 don't watch anyway. The L2 moms (me) watch about 1/2 the time though. When she gets older and has longer practices though, I can't see sitting for that long.

 

[Moxiegrl83]

I can see arguments for both. All the gyms around here, that I've been too for meets, etc, have let you watch practice. It seems that the parents of the younger ones stay, and as the girls get a little older and hours increase, parents tend to stay for a little bit in the beginning, or just come a little early to watch the end. Our pre-team parents will leave at times, other times stay and watch. I'm there for all of my DD's practices, but working in the office most of the time. I see less now then I did before, but I get to hear about anything exciting after practice or on water breaks.

It can be distracting though....when dad came to watch some of her practice on Friday, I hear DD6 yelling across the gym from the beam "HIIII DAAADDDY!!" numerous times until he finally heard her. But after he waved, she went right back to working. ;-)

 

[cbifoja]

I'm a two-sider too! I'm at the gym a lot because I work there and I'm a booster club officer so there is a lot to actually be doing. I also live in another town from our gym and depending on gas prices, I'm not going to fill up my gas tank twice as often. Admittedly, I rarely actually SIT and watch practice. It's more of a stopping and watching for a couple of minutes on certain events. But I'm glad that our owner doesn't BAN it. My child has some intestinal issues and her greatest fear isn't splitting the beam or peeling off the bars. It is not making it to the bathroom on time. So sometimes I'm thankful that she can crack the door and get my attention to let me know she NEEDS me to help her. If I weren't allowed at practice, I don't know what would happen or how she would get the help she needs without incurring a lot of embarrassment.

But I also got to leave the gym once last week. Bella "gave me permission". We hid a leo in the bathroom "just in case" and I went home. It was GLORIOUS! It was nice to have some me time. At work this morning, our HC told me that Bella had a breakthrough. Her m.o. is to get frustrated on beam, cry/complain. A real joy! But with me not there, Bella had no one to come out and complain to. She was sent to the breakroom to compose herself and had to do it on her own. Her coach said it was a good thing and that she was glad that Bella didn't have me and had to rely on her. I agree.

So yeah, I can see both sides.

 

[Kiwi]

As a parent, I would not be comfortable with not being allowed to watch. When I was working full-time I liked to leave early one day a week so I could catch the last part of her practice, but I didn't get to see most of her practices. Lately I have been watching most practices because I've had to transport her there and the gym isn't close to home so I may as well stay. Sometimes I bring some work to do or a book to read. I do enjoy watching her make progress. Other parents are also a mixture - some don't watch, some do, some watch part of the practice. In general, at our gym the kids don't seem to get distracted by the parents being there, and we also have hardly any CGM drama at our gym.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Yep, there always seems to be conditioning at the end. I think the coaches plan it that way!! Anyway, it's hard not to watch my preteamer every once in awhile as she is in a three year program before she starts competing Level5. Are these gyms that don't allow viewing really suggesting that people may not see what their kid is doing for years. Never see what they are working on, never see what new things they have learned, and forking out $300 plus a month without any feedback? Because the only way I know remotely what my kid is doing is if I watch 15 minutes of practice every once in awhile. There are no meets, nothing for several years. Is there any other child activity where the parent would be asked to just continue paying without being able to see progress??

You pay even more than this to send a child to a private school, but parents don't expect to be allowed to sit in the back of the classroom and watch the students learn. If that happened it would affect the development of the interaction and dynamic between the students and their teacher, the same as it would in the gym.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

make that public school also. in some states, school is paid for thru property taxes. imagine what they are spending when their child goes to private school. they are paying twice. whew...

 

[clark222]

Maybe it is regional, but parents are welcome in the classrooms at our local schools. Up until junior high, parents can arrange to come in to observe the classroom. And many classes strongly encourage, almost require, regular parental volunteering in the classroom. Because your kids are with the teacher many hours each day, a comfort level does develop, so most parents never feel a need to observe on a regular basis. But those parents with struggling kids or worries about a teacher/situation at least have the option to volunteer or otherwise observe their child in class. And, it is important to note, school teachers are not teaching your kid to flip around in potential neck-breaking sorts of ways. I still maintain that I would not be ok with any children's activity that banned parental observation. School too. Do I want to hang out and watch hours of gymnastics every week? No. I am comfortable with our gym situation, the coaches, and the group dynamics. I never stay and watch and even very rarely pick up early enough to see anything. I don't think that will change. But if I (or my dd for that matter) felt I needed to for any reason, I need to know it is an option.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

You pay even more than this to send a child to a private school, but parents don't expect to be allowed to sit in the back of the classroom and watch the students learn. If that happened it would affect the development of the interaction and dynamic between the students and their teacher, the same as it would in the gym.

Actually, my kids go to a private Catholic school and parents serve alot of roles. They are invited in at certain times to help with certain programs in the classroom. I taught Junior Great Books and Junior Achievement last year,helped in the library, my kid's art classes, went on field trips. Plus the teachers do two face to face conferences twice a year and are available for other questions through the year on an as needed basis. Many public schools are the same. I don't see how watching 15 minutes of my kid's practice interferes with the coaching relationship when they are there almost 4 hours of practice. They also give report cards, something which my gym has promised but neglected to provide.

On the other hand, I understand not wanting someone there the entire practice. Who could possibly have so little to do that they could sit through a 3-4 hour practice?

 

[leotardmakermum]

We're not allowed to watch training, and I can understand that. It is not helpful for anyone. We are allowed to watch the final 15 minutes of each training, but watching stretching is pretty boring. For the last week of each term we are allowed to watch any training session. Occasionally my husband and I have turned up an hour early to watch and all we get to see is... nothing, because the girls are stuck in a gym we can't see into. It is extremely frustrating. At the level my daughter is at, she does not compete yet, so we don't get to see her skills there.

It would be REALLY nice, just once in a while, to actually see all the amazing things my daughter can do. I would love to be able to celebrate those things with her. But, the way it is at the moment, I have no idea when I will get that chance. All the parents of the girls in our group are constantly whinging about it. We're all just a little fed up, really.

 

[Amusibus]

my experience speaking here. "that tells me the gym has something to hide" is simply not true. the fact is, almost every thing bad that you can think of that has or will happen will be in "full view" of the parents. this is a fact.

Respectfully, this is not true. I just recently started a thread in the parent forum about a breech of trust one night at my daughter's gym when her snack was confiscated. This happened in the team break room, totally out of view of any parents who were there, which I wasn't. There is stuff that happens that causes me to be leery of trusting these coaches with my child's well-being, when their private act that evening clearly endangered her health (medical condition necessitates frequent snacks).

 

[Deleted member D3987]

that is not the "bad" that i was referring to.

 

[skschlag]

I think, for me, and many parents, it is the simple act of "forbidding" parents from watching practice. Discouraging is fine, although our gym doesn't even do that. I won't go to a school, doctor, dentist, etc that forbids me from observing, so why would I go to a gym, where my son spends 16+ hours a week training?

I think it is in the way the policy is carried out. Most of the parents at the gym do not sit and watch. They may stop to watch a rotation, or glance out to see what their kids are doing. Most of us are there because it does not make sense for us to drive back and forth. And parents tire of watching endlessly.

Forbidding something only makes that something seem mysterious and worrying. And while there are not any bad problems in most gyms, all it takes is one to get parents up in arms about what is going on behind closed doors.

So, while I can't stand to watch too much of practice, I am often at the gym. I am reading, doing work, or chatting with other parents. We are booking hotels for meets, or helping get things ready for a home meet. I would not attend a gym where my attendance there was "forbidden."

 

[GymBeeMom]

That's definitely fair. Can't argue with that.

I think, for me, and many parents, it is the simple act of "forbidding" parents from watching practice. Discouraging is fine, although our gym doesn't even do that. I won't go to a school, doctor, dentist, etc that forbids me from observing, so why would I go to a gym, where my son spends 16+ hours a week training?

I think it is in the way the policy is carried out. Most of the parents at the gym do not sit and watch. They may stop to watch a rotation, or glance out to see what their kids are doing. Most of us are there because it does not make sense for us to drive back and forth. And parents tire of watching endlessly.

Forbidding something only makes that something seem mysterious and worrying. And while there are not any bad problems in most gyms, all it takes is one to get parents up in arms about what is going on behind closed doors.

So, while I can't stand to watch too much of practice, I am often at the gym. I am reading, doing work, or chatting with other parents. We are booking hotels for meets, or helping get things ready for a home meet. I would not attend a gym where my attendance there was "forbidden."

 

[gasrgoose]

For those that are not allowed to watch..... How do you evaluate if your chosen gym is the correct gym for your child? Only meet results? Do you ask your 9 year old? Do you wonder if the occasional "allowed viewing" practices are staged?

I wouldn't be ok with not allowing me to view practice. Not because I think something sinister is going to happen, but because I have to make decisions for my 9 year old. And if I never see practice how do I do that?

And it's very different from school. I see test & quiz grades weekly from school. I help my children with home work or at least know they spend several hours on it. I went to school and have a good understanding of what too expect. And my kids school has successfully been producing graduates for 100 years.

 

[wallinbl]

And it's very different from school. I see test & quiz grades weekly from school. I help my children with home work or at least know they spend several hours on it. I went to school and have a good understanding of what too expect. And my kids school has successfully been producing graduates for 100 years.

That's an interesting point. There is a lot more communication from teachers than what comes from coaches (there are plenty of threads on here about coaches not communicating). School is much less of a mystery to parents.