WAG Was this judge unethical?

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Secrets in the gymnastics world are like unicorns.

Meaning they don't exist.

 

[dmytv]

oh, the DRAMA! They have a show called Dance Moms, but I think Gym Moms would be way juicier!

 

[emorymom]

Conflict of interest. ..? More gyms grow the sport. If you can't compete, be a big kid and up your game.

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[wallflower]

Conflict of interest. ..? More gyms grow the sport. If you can't compete, be a big kid and up your game.

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I would consider it a big conflict of interest to have a parent with a child on team opening another gym for a coach that left the previous gym. I've seen it happen on more than one occasion. Coach leaves gym with a plan to open their own gym and gets the money from a parent of kid they coached. Once the gym is up and running the parent who owns the other gym takes their child to the new gym.

So if a coach was left or fired from your gym and you told the owner you were putting up the money to help open them a gym, your gym owner would think that was just peaches?

Its not about new gyms opening or competition in the area, its about one of your TEAM parents opening a gym. How can they be committed to your program while they are opening their own?

 

[mamaS]

It wasn't as bad as you might think. The former coach was never fired. This coach moved on to coach for a really good gym in another state. This coach made it clear that her goal was to open her own gym someday. It's not such a conflict as it wouldn't compete with our gym. It's too far away. The parent decided to stay anyway.

I think that a gym that produces good athletes with good scores will remain strong. The excessive questioning of parents and paranoia is out of control. I say, do your stinkin job and you won't have to worry about it! That being said, there will always be gym hoppers and unhappy people. They should be the minority in a good gym. A fun fact, it came out that another parent is looking to rent a space for a gym now. One thing for sure, you can't do anything quietly in this sport. My lips are sealed Let the fireworks begin!

 

[wallflower]

It wasn't as bad as you might think. The former coach was never fired. This coach moved on to coach for a really good gym in another state. This coach made it clear that her goal was to open her own gym someday. It's not such a conflict as it wouldn't compete with our gym. It's too far away. The parent decided to stay anyway.

I think that a gym that produces good athletes with good scores will remain strong. The excessive questioning of parents and paranoia is out of control. I say, do your stinkin job and you won't have to worry about it! That being said, there will always be gym hoppers and unhappy people. They should be the minority in a good gym. A fun fact, it came out that another parent is looking to rent a space for a gym now. One thing for sure, you can't do anything quietly in this sport. My lips are sealed Let the fireworks begin!

That adds a different light to the story, but if that was the case then I don't understand why the parent wasn't just honest to begin with. People with nothing to hide don't need to keep things quiet. Had your friend been upfront when asked you would never be in this situation.

 

[emorymom]

That adds a different light to the story, but if that was the case then I don't understand why the parent wasn't just honest to begin with. People with nothing to hide don't need to keep things quiet. Had your friend been upfront when asked you would never be in this situation.

Perhaps she wasn't up front because she knew the owner was cray-cray about this issue? Shaking parents down for info, scheming to avoid another gym opening up anywhere within 100 miles of their facility, inducing one judge to invite another over for wine & then interrogate ... this is not the activity of a reasonable sportsperson and business owner.

 

[wallflower]

Perhaps she wasn't up front because she knew the owner was cray-cray about this issue? Shaking parents down for info, scheming to avoid another gym opening up anywhere within 100 miles of their facility, inducing one judge to invite another over for wine & then interrogate ... this is not the activity of a reasonable sportsperson and business owner.

I personally live by and teach my children to be honest in your actions and behaviors. You can't control other people's actions and reactions, including crazy ones. Lying and hiding things causes drama and situations just like this.

 

[mamaS]

Wallflower, I suppose in a perfect world we would all be the best parents and do exactly the right thing all of the time. You have to remember the gym owner is losing his mind left and right. She made a emotional decision and regretted it. She knew that he would flip out and remove her girl from gym. It's too far to drive to the new gym so she was staying here. Most of us would have a hard time telling him if we knew it would hurt our kiddo. Also, she figured that she was just an investor and it was private. Anyway, maybe not so black and white. There can be shades once in awhile.

 

[Kiwi]

The excessive questioning of parents and paranoia is out of control. I say, do your stinkin job and you won't have to worry about it!

Also, she figured that she was just an investor and it was private.

I agree, I think it was private and nobody else's business.

 

[wallflower]

Wallflower, I suppose in a perfect world we would all be the best parents and do exactly the right thing all of the time. You have to remember the gym owner is losing his mind left and right. She made a emotional decision and regretted it. She knew that he would flip out and remove her girl from gym. It's too far to drive to the new gym so she was staying here. Most of us would have a hard time telling him if we knew it would hurt our kiddo. Also, she figured that she was just an investor and it was private. Anyway, maybe not so black and white. There can be shades once in awhile.

Your original posts says she was going to give them money for a new gym an hour away and then changed her mind and decided to keep her daughter at the current gym. That to me does not sound like an investor only situation. Your words, not mine. So twist it however you want to make the owner sound crazy but people in the gym world for many years have seen this scenario over and over and over. Coach wants to open gym, parent gives them money, when gym is ready they take their child there and sometimes half the team. This is not a unique situation and I don't believe your version of it because you tell two different stories. But most of all I don't care. I gave you my opinion on how I would conduct myself in the situation. All of your posts seem to be about how horrible your gym is. Then when people say leave or do this you get upset. A forum really isn't a place for everyone to pat you on the back and agree with you. If you wanted to hear that this judge is terrible and your gym owner is terrible you won't be hearing it from me. You told secrets to someone and your friend was keeping a secret from her gym that doesn't sound like a private matter. Sounds more like y'all are just as much "unethical" as the judge.

 

[mamaS]

Your original posts says she was going to give them money for a new gym an hour away and then changed her mind and decided to keep her daughter at the current gym. That to me does not sound like an investor only situation. Your words, not mine. So twist it however you want to make the owner sound crazy but people in the gym world for many years have seen this scenario over and over and over. Coach wants to open gym, parent gives them money, when gym is ready they take their child there and sometimes half the team. This is not a unique situation and I don't believe your version of it because you tell two different stories. But most of all I don't care. I gave you my opinion on how I would conduct myself in the situation. All of your posts seem to be about how horrible your gym is. Then when people say leave or do this you get upset. A forum really isn't a place for everyone to pat you on the back and agree with you. If you wanted to hear that this judge is terrible and your gym owner is terrible you won't be hearing it from me. You told secrets to someone and your friend was keeping a secret from her gym that doesn't sound like a private matter. Sounds more like y'all are just as much "unethical" as the judge.

Wallflower, lets just let you be right. I don't know why you are attacking and nasty. I have really appreciated the feedback I've gotten regarding this situation. She did decide that it was an investor only situation. Did she consider taking her kiddo there? Who wouldn't? I was not trying to make the gym sound horrible. This forum has been a nice sounding board for me. I gave clear and accurate info and got opinions from various people, positive and negative. I would bet that you're not this mean face to face. People sometimes show a dark side when there's no way for anyone to know who they are. I believe it's called cyber bullying in the kid world.

Anyway, for everyone who commented on my post. I do appreciate a safe place to discuss issues. I hope that you don't think that I want a pat on the back. I am very ok with your opinions.

 

[Jenny]

Wallflower, lets just let you be right. I don't know why you are attacking and nasty. I have really appreciated the feedback I've gotten regarding this situation. She did decide that it was an investor only situation. Did she consider taking her kiddo there? Who wouldn't? I was not trying to make the gym sound horrible. This forum has been a nice sounding board for me. I gave clear and accurate info and got opinions from various people, positive and negative. I would bet that you're not this mean face to face. People sometimes show a dark side when there's no way for anyone to know who they are. I believe it's called cyber bullying in the kid world.

Anyway, for everyone who commented on my post. I do appreciate a safe place to discuss issues. I hope that you don't think that I want a pat on the back. I am very ok with your opinions.

You posted and asked for opinions. You got them- a whole variety. You say that you are Ok with the opinions but you straight away attack any that disagree with you. No way has any reply you have gotten been anything remotely akin to cyber bullying. Maybe it is time for the mods to close this thread it seems to have run its course.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Without taking any particular side in this discussion, I will agree that this thread has gone as long as it needs to.