Parents Weight issues - advice needed!

[Deleted member 18037]

Just make it about healthy choices and not about weight. My “skinny” kid who has a crazy sweet tooth honestly concerns me the most of any of my children. At this point she has no visible consequences from her poor choices and in the long run I needed her to understand that it’s gonna bite her in the butt.

We have these conversations often. It’s good to be young and not have to worry about those tasty less then nutritionally dense carbs.

I tell mine enjoy those fun carbs while you can because that won’t always work. And she even gets it, she knows those empty carbs make her feel like cr$p. And that’s where we focus. How do you feel. Energy vs sluggish. Alert vs foggy. We do not talk about a scale number. I have been on WW for years. I never talk about the number. Just how I feel When I make nutritionally good choices vs not. How fun foods are Ok from time to time.

Her doc, myself and the kid had a chat today. It was her yearly physical. Again, doc and I were real clear, it’s health not a number on the scale. Oddly we are all close in height, and weight, w/i 5 lbs of each other. But very different ages. That weight looks very different on all of us……..

There are lots of ways to have conversation that is not related to a scale value.

But it’s also important to get your own (the global you) baggage regarding scale numbers under control. Because if you don’t they will know. Be it an eye roll, a sigh, an extended pause. They will know

 

[Agymnast]

I get the impression you are not concerned about her actual weight but knowing her eating habits you are worried her weight gain is the effect of it. Am I right?
You also bring your older daughter's weight as a proof that your younger daughter is overweight. My only problem with that is that all bodies are different and react differently. It is possible that your younger daughter's eating habits are causing her weight gain but more likely it is just puberty and genetics.

 

[rlm's mom]

Yes you've hit the nail on the head! I'm not concerned about the numbers on the scales, but her eating habits disturb me more because I know its affecting her.

I get the impression you are not concerned about her actual weight but knowing her eating habits you are worried her weight gain is the effect of it. Am I right?
You also bring your older daughter's weight as a proof that your younger daughter is overweight. My only problem with that is that all bodies are different and react differently. It is possible that your younger daughter's eating habits are causing her weight gain but more likely it is just puberty and genetics.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

My DD is 5' and approx 130 so that is definitely not overweight.

Yup that's what I see my DD doing and wish she ate half of that before practice instead.
If you want to know meal times schedule in our home on school days my girls have dinner #1 about 3 after school and then dinner #2 when they get home at 8. I would assume after a good meal at 8 she wouldn't have to snack that much.
On non-school days they have breakfast at 8, have practice 9-12, go out to lunch with team-mates till 1 and then practice till 4. They have dinner at 6. Of course then I would expect them to have a snack during the evening.

It’s interesting I look at eating like they suggest for toddlers. It’s not what they eat in a meal or a day, but the total over 2 weeks.

I have a 27 yr old and a 15 yr old. Teenhood shifted their sleeping and eating habits. And it shifted to later. It wasn’t at all unusual for us to go to bed with a clean counter and sink, only to wake to find dishes from our son…. My daughter has many days she will pick at dinner and be foraging and cooking at 9 or 10pm….

 

[SupportingHerDreams]

I know I'm late to this conversation but early on you asked if 13 was old enough to understand food being fuel, we already discuss that with my 7yr old! I think as long as your focus is on how what we eat effects our bodies and not numbers on a scale or inches on a measurment then it is totally healthy and understandable at any age.

Also, I feel like bribing with food is not the way to encourage a healthy relationship with food. Personally we try to stay away from that at all costs and I have a very picky eater!!

 

[Agymnast]

I know I'm late to this conversation but early on you asked if 13 was old enough to understand food being fuel, we already discuss that with my 7yr old! I think as long as your focus is on how what we eat effects our bodies and not numbers on a scale or inches on a measurment then it is totally healthy and understandable at any age.

Also, I feel like bribing with food is not the way to encourage a healthy relationship with food. Personally we try to stay away from that at all costs and I have a very picky eater!!

This. Even a 7yr old can understand

 

[rlm's mom]

I know I'm late to this conversation but early on you asked if 13 was old enough to understand food being fuel, we already discuss that with my 7yr old! I think as long as your focus is on how what we eat effects our bodies and not numbers on a scale or inches on a measurment then it is totally healthy and understandable at any age.

Also, I feel like bribing with food is not the way to encourage a healthy relationship with food. Personally we try to stay away from that at all costs and I have a very picky eater!!

Thanks! And with regard to bribing with food the way it plays out she comes home from practice opens the cupboard and reaches out for some junk food. I say to her if she eats a full plate of dinner she can choose something from that cupboard. The snacking doesn't end there and goes on all night but at least she has eaten something healthy!

 

[txgymfan]

I would gradually reduce the less healthy treats that cupboard for the health of your entire family.

 

[Eleven sol]

Thanks! And with regard to bribing with food the way it plays out she comes home from practice opens the cupboard and reaches out for some junk food. I say to her if she eats a full plate of dinner she can choose something from that cupboard. The snacking doesn't end there and goes on all night but at least she has eaten something healthy!

It is tough but we try not to keep a lot of junk food at home. Honestly that’s more for me and my husband than the kids. When we eat treats, we go out or it’s a special occasion. It’s not an everyday thing.

We were running into some problems with the girls eating protein bars intended for practice one after another and then not eating dinner. We talked about the bars being a convenience foo. I now buy each of them a weeks supply which the keep with their stuff. If they eat it all prior to the week being up, they bring fruit or cheese to practice instead.

That way I’m not having to monitor it and there’s a logical consequence. Bars are expensive to eat like that!

 

[ReluctantGymMom]

Thanks! And with regard to bribing with food the way it plays out she comes home from practice opens the cupboard and reaches out for some junk food. I say to her if she eats a full plate of dinner she can choose something from that cupboard. The snacking doesn't end there and goes on all night but at least she has eaten something healthy!

Remove the junk food. Once she’s home from practice, if there just isn’t junk to snack on, she can’t snack on junk through the evening/night. You can’t monitor what she does outside, but teen snacking at night happens in your house

we never require a full plate of food to be eaten for dinner. But you can’t go pick up snacks if you said you didn’t want the rest of your food. If you really hated it and are still hungry, the options are to go eat a banana lol. If you don’t want to go eat a banana, you’re not really hungry, you’re bored and want to snack. My family has turned it into an ongoing joke that I just recommend eating bananas as a solution for everything.

 

[Deleted member 26368]

Remove the junk food. Once she’s home from practice, if there just isn’t junk to snack on, she can’t snack on junk through the evening/night. You can’t monitor what she does outside, but teen snacking at night happens in your house

we never require a full plate of food to be eaten for dinner. But you can’t go pick up snacks if you said you didn’t want the rest of your food. If you really hated it and are still hungry, the options are to go eat a banana lol. If you don’t want to go eat a banana, you’re not really hungry, you’re bored and want to snack. My family has turned it into an ongoing joke that I just recommend eating bananas as a solution for everything.

I'm the same way, except I recommend water first, then fruit, LOL. Like you said, it's usually snacking out of habit than hunger.

 

[mommyof1]

We were running into some problems with the girls eating protein bars intended for practice one after another and then not eating dinner. We talked about the bars being a convenience foo. I now buy each of them a weeks supply which the keep with their stuff. If they eat it all prior to the week being up, they bring fruit or cheese to practice instead.

That way I’m not having to monitor it and there’s a logical consequence. Bars are expensive to eat like that!

My kid does this and it is super annoying. Healthy snacks are great, but not when you eat three of them an hour before a meal and then say you're not hungry for actual food. And yes, those snacks do get expensive.

 

[Deleted member 26368]

My kid does this and it is super annoying. Healthy snacks are great, but not when you eat three of them an hour before a meal and then say you're not hungry for actual food. And yes, those snacks do get expensive.

For high protein/healthy snacks, I try to do something homemade - trail/snack mix, muffins, or smoothies. My son (12) plays football, so snacks between school and practice are key for him and DD. I have explained to them that I strongly prefer they pick a homemade snack, but I do allow protein bars on a limited basis. Just recently, I let each kid pick a box of protein bars at the store, but we read the nutrition labels first. Lots of bars can be higher in sugar than a pack of Pop Tarts! Also, DS has a peanut allergy - peanuts are in many packaged bars. DD wears braces, so she can't have anything sticky. Thankfully, I've been working from home since last year so I can knock out a batch of mini muffins fairly easily every few weeks.

Overall, though, I feel the nutrition struggle. Feeding kids reasonably healthy meals (that they won't gripe about) is challenging enough when they're not in sports 4+ days per week.

 

[ReluctantGymMom]

I'm the same way, except I recommend water first, then fruit, LOL. Like you said, it's usually snacking out of habit than hunger.

Water is the first cure for everything LOL hungry? Water. Tired? Water. Headache? Water. Bored? Drink some water then go clean.

 

[mommyof1]

For high protein/healthy snacks, I try to do something homemade - trail/snack mix, muffins, or smoothies. My son (12) plays football, so snacks between school and practice are key for him and DD. I have explained to them that I strongly prefer they pick a homemade snack, but I do allow protein bars on a limited basis. Just recently, I let each kid pick a box of protein bars at the store, but we read the nutrition labels first. Lots of bars can be higher in sugar than a pack of Pop Tarts! Also, DS has a peanut allergy - peanuts are in many packaged bars. DD wears braces, so she can't have anything sticky. Thankfully, I've been working from home since last year so I can knock out a batch of mini muffins fairly easily every few weeks.

Overall, though, I feel the nutrition struggle. Feeding kids reasonably healthy meals (that they won't gripe about) is challenging enough when they're not in sports 4+ days per week.

My super picky kid mostly snacks on homemade muffins made with the Cookie + Kate recipes, Trader Joe's fig bars, popcorn, peanut butter, and a brand of Greek yogurt bars that don't have a ton of sugar or any super processed protein powder. She will not eat nuts, oats, or (fortunately) any type of protein bar. I still don't want her eating two or three muffins before dinner! And the fig bars and yogurt bars do get expensive and I would like there to be some left for the rest of the family once in a while.

 

[Aussie_coach]

I’m surprised that so many are just bc allowed to snack without permission.

Regardless of our age growing up, the rules always were if you want a snack you ask first. Then you are told what you can have.

There was a bowl of fruit or similar on the table and that was the only thing that was allowed to be touched without explicit permission.

The parents control the food that comes into the house and what/when it’s available.

 

[Deleted member 26368]

I’m surprised that so many are just bc allowed to snack without permission.

Regardless of our age growing up, the rules always were if you want a snack you ask first. Then you are told what you can have.

There was a bowl of fruit or similar on the table and that was the only thing that was allowed to be touched without explicit permission.

The parents control the food that comes into the house and what/when it’s available.

I was raised the same way. My kids know to ask, since that was the rule since they were young. They've pushed it a few times, though LOL. My mom-sixth sense can tell when they are rummaging for snacks most times, even before they ask.

Now, my husband is a different case altogether...if you want junk or fast food, he's your guy!

 

[gymgal]

I’m surprised that so many are just bc allowed to snack without permission.

Regardless of our age growing up, the rules always were if you want a snack you ask first. Then you are told what you can have.

There was a bowl of fruit or similar on the table and that was the only thing that was allowed to be touched without explicit permission.

The parents control the food that comes into the house and what/when it’s available.

Just because we were raised that way doesn't mean it was the right way. So many examples but I don't want to get this thread off topic. Children need to learn to listen to their own bodies, fuel it when needed and learn moderation in their food choices, which can only be done by having a variety of foods available to them.

 

[rlm's mom]

Just because we were raised that way doesn't mean it was the right way. So many examples but I don't want to get this thread off topic. Children need to learn to listen to their own bodies, fuel it when needed and learn moderation in their food choices, which can only be done by having a variety of foods available to them.

So this is the way we have brought up our children. Of course at 5 yrs old they had to ask before taking food. As they grew up it sort of petered off and there are definitely pros to them learning to make the own choices but there are also cons as I am seeing now with MD.

 

[gymgal]

So this is the way we have brought up our children. Of course at 5 yrs old they had to ask before taking food. As they grew up it sort of petered off and there are definitely pros to them learning to make the own choices but there are also cons as I am seeing now with MD.

You still have the ability to optimize food choices in the home. Small amounts of low energy foods and more of the high energy ones. The problem comes in when there is one child who has a hard time regulating and ends up eating all the "junk" food before the other siblings get a chance to enjoy them. been-there-done-that and it was really tough to help them beyond it. A little more oversight was needed at that point.