Parents What do your kids' coaches say about fear?

[profmom]

The boys have now reached the stage where they're working on skills that many of them (rather than just one or two) find scary. I'm remembering when DD got to this point with beam and bars a few years ago, and wondered what you've heard or your kids have reported their coaches telling them about fear. Of course, I'd love to hear from coaches as well.

The thing that's stuck with DD for a few years was her coach's statement: "Everyone gets scared. The fear doesn't matter. What matters is what you do about it."

One of the parents quoted DS's coach from practice last night: "Don't let your fears interfere with what you want to do."

I very much like both of these frameworks, because they both acknowledge the reality of fear.

 

[MILgymFAM]

DDs favorite coach says fear is a good thing- it warns you that what you can do could hurt you. She says you have to respect it, look it in the eye, and tell it you are going for it anyway. DDs other coach basically goes with the get over it or get off my floor mentality. Ha ha

 

[thefellowsmom]

This didn't come from her coach but what works for dd is the concept of AND.

You can be afraid and still be successful.

Example - She stands on the beam about to go for her series and she pauses for a moment. You can see the wheels turning. I asked her what she is saying and she told me. "I'm pretty scared right now AND I'm going to nail it!" And the she goes for it.

It takes some conditioning. Start with low impact things, not your blocked up fear thing.

I've started using it with her in her outside life too when she starts to get frustrated or down on herself. She will be moaning about something and I just say "and?" And it forces her to see the other side. Sometimes it can snap her right out it.

Simple, but for some reason it works. Fear just is, it is a physical sensation in your body, a chemical reaction to the body's aversion to physical harm. Fear also shows it's ugly face when there are feelings involved, especially around failure. if you acknowledge it often it will dissipate.

Don't fight it, call it out for what it is and nothing more and then just keep moving.

 

[Clover]

This didn't come from her coach but what works for dd is the concept of AND.

You can be afraid and still be successful.

Example - She stands on the beam about to go for her series and she pauses for a moment. You can see the wheels turning. I asked her what she is saying and she told me. "I'm pretty scared right now AND I'm going to nail it!" And the she goes for it.

It takes some conditioning. Start with low impact things, not your blocked up fear thing.

I've started using it with her in her outside life too when she starts to get frustrated or down on herself. She will be moaning about something and I just say "and?" And it forces her to see the other side. Sometimes it can snap her right out it.

Simple, but for some reason it works. Fear just is, it is a physical sensation in your body, a chemical reaction to the body's aversion to physical harm. Fear also shows it's ugly face when there are feelings involved, especially around failure. if you acknowledge it often it will dissipate.

Don't fight it, call it out for what it is and nothing more and then just keep moving.

Where is the LOVE THIS button?????

 

[cbifoja]

"Everyone gets scared. The fear doesn't matter. What matters is what you do about it."

I've heard this very sentiment come out of HC's mouth when DD was having fear issues on her HS BHS series.

 

[gwenmom]

The thing that's stuck with DD for a few years was her coach's statement: "Everyone gets scared. The fear doesn't matter. What matters is what you do about it."
.

This is what I tell my kids too (just a parent). I also tell them the same thing about mistakes. It doesn't matter if you make a mistake it matters what you do about it.

 

[my4buffaloes]

I tell my dd that you have to want it more than you are scared of it.