Women What intangibles could hold a child back?

[2G1B]

A couple of thoughts... No one here can answer the hypothetical questions. you say the gym won't give answers; but they are the only ones that have the actual answers. If you aren't happy with the gym then maybe you should look at some others.

That being said, if you act at all at the gym like you have in this post, YOU might be the reason that your dd is being held back. You asked a hypothetical question. No answers were rude and all just gave various speculation on why they could see a gym possibly holding this child back. You then fly off the handle. I'm not sure what you wanted to hear; but clearly the responses here weren't it. If this is how you respond to things when they don't go your way then I can understand why the coaches avoid answering your questions.

Finally, you say your daughter is older; but don't say how old. Is she 10 or 11 older or is she 13+ kind of older. If in her teens the gym really might just be choosing to focus on the girls who are going to make it further in the sport by their calculations. I'm not saying that is wrong or right; but some gyms do it. And as the pp said, if she is in the oldest age group, her placement is not a great indicator of much because it is the least competitive age group. A better indicator would be how does she fall score wise from everyone in her level at a meet.

 

[flippinam]

Wgymmom, I'm confused. Are you mad at those on this forum who have done nothing but try to be helpful? They offered potential reasons why your daughter may not have been moved up. Nobody knows your child, her coaches, or her club philosophy. They offered typical reasons in most scenarios why a gymnast isn't moved up. Nobody was criticizing you or your daughter. And yes, scores and places in compulsories are pretty irrelevant. If a gymnast has clean form & the skills, they will score high. That says nothing about their skills & preparedness for the next level. Last year as a level five, I scored high & was state champion, but I didn't have any of my level 7 skills. So, I did level 6. The coaches have a reason. They likely want your daughter to have as much success as possible in her level & see 6 as the best option for her. Does she get easily discouraged if she's not scoring high & placing well?

 

[tuckfull]

Of the gymnasts who just completed Level 5, are they moving ANY of them to Level 7? Or are they wanting the whole group to stay together and do Level 6? From the things you have posted in the past, it seems like your gym likes to keep the entire group together, rather than let each gymnast advance (or not) at their own level. Are there any current competing Level 6s? How about Level 7s? I'm not sure how big your gym is.

 

[Muddlethru]

In my opinion, and I am not a coach, the biggest determining or fair factor to base a "move up" is readiness (both physically and mentally) for the next level. Success on the current level, practices at gym, talent, dedication are contributing factors but despite all that, if a gymnast cannot safely, consistently and confidently do the skills for the next level, a good coach should hold them back. I've found through the years, that sometimes what my daughter tells me, what I make out from seeing very limited practices (I don't watch practice at all) is not an accurate representation of how she is progressing at the gym. It is unfortunate that the coaches don't talk to you and I see your frustration. It would frustrate me as well. But many have posted potential, probably scenarios. It could be anything. But if you feel there is a malicious reason the coach is holding back your daughter, then I'd take her out of that gym. If you don't trust the coach at all to do the best for your daughter, there is no reason for you to keep your daughter in that gym.

My daughter is currently competing Level 10. So, I've been around watching for over 5 years now. And it still puzzles me why some kids are moved up and why some are not. But each and every time (even at my daughter's former gym where the coaches are not that good) in the end, the coaches decisions become evident and have somehow been right each time. But I have also seen some kids who slip through the cracks. So, really, we can just all speculate, but if you have grave concerns, getting people who have nothing to go by except what you tell them will not get you an accurate response.

 

[wgymmom]

I do not 'act like this at the gym," I have just reached the threshold of complete frustration. This is not the only problem in my life right now.

It hurts to be told that my kid is actually not good at gymnastics, when I was thinking that everything she's done meant something, that it was worth something. Instead, she has little to no potential and we're spending a lot of money to be a dilettante.

She will be 12 in March. Very old. And at this point anything beyond about a level 7 is completely out of reach. I'm not looking forward to telling her to find another dream or goal.

 

[wallinbl]

Gym is pushing 6 hard despite mid-35s in a full season of level 5 and a full calendar year to train. Gym is not powerhouse.

Is this to mean that you just finished a Fall compulsory season and are talking about what will happen in Spring 2016? I'm surprised any gym would be predicting 6 vs 7 that far out. Train the skills and see how far they get before next year.

If you're talking about having just finished Fall compulsory and are talking about 6 vs 7 this Spring (2015), that's probably entirely based on skills - having giants, BWO-BHS on beam, and BLO on floor for 7.

I'm not sure how other gyms work, as ours turns around and does 7 the immediate Spring following 5 in Fall (so the 5's that just did states a few weeks ago are competing 7 next month).

 

[wgymmom]

Level 6 for 2016. I'm not sure they're interested in training the skills for 7 when they're already having them run the L6 bar routine.

 

[wallinbl]

I do not 'act like this at the gym," I have just reached the threshold of complete frustration. This is not the only problem in my life right now.

It hurts to be told that my kid is actually not good at gymnastics, when I was thinking that everything she's done meant something, that it was worth something. Instead, she has little to no potential and we're spending a lot of money to be a dilettante.

She will be 12 in March. Very old. And at this point anything beyond about a level 7 is completely out of reach. I'm not looking forward to telling her to find another dream or goal.

Is she having fun? What difference does it make what level she tops out at? If she has fun along the way, then that's all that matters.

 

[wallinbl]

Level 6 for 2016.

I find that odd. I'd think they'd work the level 7 skills with everyone and use level 6 as a fall back if they don't get the skills there by this time next year. A "not quite there" 7 will do just fine at level 6, so it's not like they need to target 6 now.

 

[skschlag]

I would say that if she is loving it, and she is happy, and she is learning, then you are not wasting any time/money. She is doing something she loves to do, keeps her fit and busy, keeps her out of trouble, and is a very positive influence during a difficult time of life. It sounds like this bothers you more than it bothers her. (I can only base this on what you have said)

If you are talking 2016, then if she does work hard and gets the skills, she will most likely move to 7. COaches, in general, are not vindictive people that are out to get anyone. They typically don't deliberately slow down progress. They might have philosophies and strategies that we don't understand, but there is usually a method to their madness.

If SHE is unhappy, then look for another gym. If SHE is not unhappy, then I say stay the course and let her enjoy her sport.

 

[gymdog]

Okay, so scores are irrelevant, placements are useless, compulsory routines are a mindless waste of time, levels 3-5 have zero bearing on a gymnast's talent or ability in anything higher, and everyone who observes her just has stars in their eyes. Oh, and she has little to no potential, so all of this is a colossal mess.

?

What would you like to hear? The things you have posted as comments from those who have observed her or maybe the coaches (I'm really not sure and that is a bit confusing and makes it difficult to advise) are GREAT things, but in no way indicate she is ready physically to skip a level or do level 7. She may be, but there is no way at all to tell from those comments. Skipping a level in gymnastics is pretty unusual, I realize 6 is a bit different and personally we handle it differently than your gym, but it really depends on the way your gym handles it as far as "skipping." Skipping a level in gymnastics is not something one should expect regardless of punctuality, scores, or hard work.

It is great to be punctual, maximize your scores, and work hard regardless. Those things matter more in the end rather than what level she competed in 2015. You are paying for her to learn gymnastics in a supportive environment and everything that goes along with that. Are you suggesting that she is not learning gymnastics or she is unhappy in the environment? If so, then as a customer you indeed are not getting what you are paying for.

The bottom line is in ten years if this is just over skipping, it won't matter anyway and I expect you will regret more than you let it eat away at your enjoyment of watching your daughter pursue her passion. That may not be what you want to hear but it would be a shame to waste these years holding a grudge since they won't last forever.

If, on the other hand, your daughter is unhappy or not in a supportive environment, then surely skipping is not the issue here and doesn't matter at all. In this case you should make changes to preserve your child's quality of life.

 

[2G1B]

The thing is, she got moved up. She just didn't get skipped ahead. And really, in a years time, it is possible that the plan will change. I don't understand what you mean by learning the level 6 bar routine. It is an optional routine. Do you mean that she is learning those skills? If so I just don't see the problem. She needs to learn the skills. I can't imagine a gym taking the time now to teach full routines that aren't going to be competed for more than a year. A 12 year old level 6is not "very old". I'd talk to her, see what she thinks. If she has her heart set on 7 for 2016 then suggest she work really hard to get the skills or consider looking at other gyms.

 

[gymdog]

I do not 'act like this at the gym," I have just reached the threshold of complete frustration. This is not the only problem in my life right now.

It hurts to be told that my kid is actually not good at gymnastics, when I was thinking that everything she's done meant something, that it was worth something. Instead, she has little to no potential and we're spending a lot of money to be a dilettante.

She will be 12 in March. Very old. And at this point anything beyond about a level 7 is completely out of reach. I'm not looking forward to telling her to find another dream or goal.

This is what is frustrating me about advising in this thread because there is no information we have suggesting this and I am not sure if you are just being sarcastic or if someone at your gym has advised you of the above. It may or may not be true, but how could we know? Also, so what if it is true? Are you only going to pursue your passion if you are going to the Olympics, that would be insane and our nation would suck at gymnastics if it was that way. Who cares if you are level 10, rec, level 6 or Xcel gold? There is no reason to infer or suggest anyone at these levels is wasting their time. I am not an Olympian but I still enjoy doing gymnastics as an adult, am I going to get any better? NO. In fact I will only ever get worse at this point, so what?

Gymnastics is a great activity that will provide many tangible benefits to am adolescent outside of a scholarship or any level. It will keep them busy, help with goal setting, provide an environment with positive role models that lets them be role models. Is it worth it in the end? If it is your daughter's passion, then she will be a better person for it.

 

[skschlag]

She will be 12 in March. Very old. And at this point anything beyond about a level 7 is completely out of reach. I'm not looking forward to telling her to find another dream or goal.

I am not sure why you think this. She could do a year of 6, move to 7, and keep going. She still has 6-7 years if she doesn't get injured or burned out.

 

[andarc]

I feel your frustration. The same thing happened to my DD. She is a little younger and a lower level. It was very frustrating to not get a reason and my DD was bored. We ended up switching gyms and haven't looked back. It is a much better fit for my DD.

 

[wgymmom]

I am not sure why you think this. She could do a year of 6, move to 7, and keep going. She still has 6-7 years if she doesn't get injured or burned out.

I was basically just informed that she likely only has the potential to top out at 7-8.

It might be that the coaches see her skill level topping out earlier than the other gymnasts. If they see this child topping out at Level 7 or 8 they might not see any rush to get there, let her have success on the way through rather than skipping her through and then getting stuck and struggling. I would see them doing this for a hard worker who just isn't as physically talented as some of the others. Every gym has those kids who have succeeded through pure hard work, always score near the top of the team because they are more focused and try hard all the time but there comes a point where it doesn't matter how hard they work the more physically talented kids zoom ahead because when they do apply themselves it is so much easier for them.

 

[flippinam]

Though scores & places do not indicate the preparedness of the gymnast for the next level, they definitely mean something. They're the result & reward for hard work & I'm sure they were a joy to experience! Remember when you posted about how your daughter was state champion & it brought tears to your eyes to see her on top of the podium? Those are the moments where all the time & money are well worth it The success of a gymnast isn't or shouldn't be measured by the level they reach. Twelve years old at level 5/6 is still very young! She definitely has potential to go beyond level 7. At age 12, I had just stepped into a gym for the first time. She's much better off than me & many others as a 17 year old level 7 Sorry if my last post sounded a bit sardonic. I'm sorry that you're experiencing such stress right now. If your daughter is enjoying herself in this great sport that develops overall physical fitness & teaches goal setting & perseverance that will continue to other aspects of life, there is no waste

 

[skschlag]

I was basically just informed that she likely only has the potential to top out at 7-8.

It might be that the coaches see her skill level topping out earlier than the other gymnasts. If they see this child topping out at Level 7 or 8 they might not see any rush to get there, let her have success on the way through rather than skipping her through and then getting stuck and struggling. I would see them doing this for a hard worker who just isn't as physically talented as some of the others. Every gym has those kids who have succeeded through pure hard work, always score near the top of the team because they are more focused and try hard all the time but there comes a point where it doesn't matter how hard they work the more physically talented kids zoom ahead because when they do apply themselves it is so much easier for them.

No, you were given one reason why a child might not be skipped to another level. This was not directed directly at your dd as no one here knows your dd. This was a hypothetical situation that could happen that might keep a child from SKIPPING a level. It was not directed at your dd.

 

[Redford]

It hurts to be told that my kid is actually not good at gymnastics, when I was thinking that everything she's done meant something, that it was worth something. Instead, she has little to no potential and we're spending a lot of money to be a dilettante.

No one ever said that. What has been said is that good compulsory sores do not necessarilly mean someone is ready for optionals.
It meant something for your dd cause I bet she was happy winning those medals and that was worth everything. Don't take that away from her.

 

[z2akids]

Try to step back and take a breath. You asked a board full of strangers why your DD might not be skipping L6. Many possibilities have been thrown out. It may be one of them, several or even none of those reasons. In fact, given that your DD is more than a year from competing L6 or L7, perhaps her coaches are trying to perfect certain L6 skills prior to focusing on the L7 skills.

But, your posts are coming across as very angry with the posters who have offered hypothetical answers to your question.