When your gymnast is a military "brat" - for parents and coaches!

[AlwaysCuriousMom]

Situation:
DH is moving in less than a year. Jury is out on whether the rest of the family will stay or go (lots of factors to consider.) If we move, this will be DD 4th gym in 4 years. I will honestly say that because DD loves gym, and shows an incredible amount of dedication and talent in the sport, her gym situation carries a huge amount of weight on our moving decisions. (And let's put that in perspective - she is only in lvl 5 working lvl 6 and age 8; good, but by no means a water-walker.) We also equally value the opinion of our oldest son, who will be in highschool in a few years.

Feelings:
I feel really sad that DD doesn't have a "home gym." I do see that there are always girls at every gym with whom the coaches are emotionally invested. Or so it seems. I'd like that for my daughter... just having that feeling of "family" at the gym. I fear the inconsistency in training, or DD always having to prove herself at the start of each new season... or DD not being treated as well as the others because she is just "passing by."

Truthfully, I'd like to know the reality of our situation based on others' experiences: Do coaches treat military kids differently? Is moving around so much going to hurt her gymnastics progress more than help?

I'm asking, not only for this move, but the next, and the next, and the next....

 

[Deleted member D3987]

i've had a couple of kids from military. didn't make any difference to us. we coach them like everyone else. the longest one stayed was 3 years.

 

[TexasRose]

We've got a "brat" too . Most of the girls on the team are not military and have been there much longer than us. The coaches don't treat the military kids any differently, at least that I've been able to see. I haven't noticed any special bonds being formed that exclude the military kids.

How long is DH going to be gone? Is he PCS'ing to a new post? Or will he return to where ya'll are? Like you said- lots of factors should be taken into consideration before deciding to move. Just think of how good your DD is going to be, and probably already is, at making new friends . We've been at our current post for almost 3 years so our time to move is coming up soon!!! Here's to hoping we get stationed somehwere by a nice gym, lol

 

[coachmolly]

I don't recall ever coaching a military kid, I've never been in an area with a particularly large military population, but I imagine I would treat them just as I would any team member. Whether a kid is military or not, gymnastics is not forever and I am well aware that, at some point, they will leave for any number of reasons (switching gyms, moving, quitting, you name it). So I just try to work with each kid as though they are going to stick around and I'm sad when they don't, but that's just the way it is in youth sports. Hopefully in their time there I've managed to teach them something they will carry with them and remember. I don't think it would even cross my mind to treat a kid differently just because their parent has a job that will likely require them to move in a year or two.
I hope you guys find a solution that works well for everyone in your family, I know it's not an easy place to be. I have a cousin who works in the government and his oldest son (age 6) has lived in 4 countries with a move to a 5th coming in the next year-ish. It's really the families that have it rough in those situations, not the coaches, so do what is best for you and if coaches exhibit signs of not being accepting or willing to devote themselves to your DD, however long she is in their program, it's probably a red flag that you don't want to be in their program in the first place.

 

[AlwaysCuriousMom]

I appreciate the comments. TexasRose, it would be a dream at this point to be guaranteed at least 3 years somewhere! Looks like we will probably head to Washington DC. I've found several posts/ threads on gyms in that area, so I have my list of gyms to consider. DH and I are born and raised in California, so having to leave this side of the coast is a huge deal If anyone know a little about the the Washington DC or NoVA area, I'd love to hear from you. It would definitely help me out. In terms of looking for a place to live, I'm in search of a good gym, high school, middle school, AND elementary school. EEK!!!! I have my work cut out for me. Thanks for the help!

 

[bookworm]

We had military kids at our old gym and they were never treated any differently and did quite well...I recall a few 8s and 9s as well as compulsories. In your move though, if hindsight is 20/20, i would try to move as close to your new gym as possible (and still be in a nice neighborhood with good school etc) because if she's going to be doing it long haul, try to get yourself the shortest commute...we now commute 1 1/2 hours each way to gym but if I was moving to a new area, well, let's just say I'd try to plan a little better...I don't mind driving but ...

 

[Mom2Brats]

<----- See my user name. My daughter has only been to two gyms (thank goodness she wasn't in gymnastics yet when we were doing the once-a-year moves, that would have been tough) but I know what you mean about it being a big part of decision making. She's 10, finishing up her L7 season and getting ready to move up to L8. If we move in another 2 yrs like we expect, she could easily be a L10 and I worry about going somewhere that will have a program that can continue to train her. Sigh. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

That being said, she's been treated well at both her gyms. Both places I've had coaches sigh and talk about how the best ones always seem to be military and moving but they've always done their best for her. There's a potential we could try and stay here and I think her current coach is secretly routing for that but it's obvious that he wants her to do her best, regardless of whether he gets to 'enjoy' her as a L10 or not.

I do understand your concern about not being part of the 'group' as well. When we started, she came in halfway through the L4 season so I always felt a bit out of place and after a year and a half here I'm just starting to get to know more of the other parents. Most of them had no idea who either she or I were for her whole L6 year, which was kind of weird.

Anyway, I do think that moving around makes things harder but I also think that most gyms are super supportive and that you can make it work regardless. We have a lot of 'brats' at our gym and they are all doing well.