Parents Younger Siblings and their expectations...

[Rapunzel]

We have a similar problem, with someone who they know who has loads of medals/trophies and gymnastics success.
Dd1 wants it all, dd2 is a different kettle of fish and says she's doesnt feel old enough to do the rec comp (she'll do it after her birthday apparently).
Dd1s done ok - she came bottom last in her 3rd comp and cried rivers, the next one she came just above mid table and was elated - really pleased with herself. I think that crushing disappointment of comp #3 was really character building.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

the age thing is not so much of a problem here as all the comps I have been to have had 1 or 2 year age groups until you get to Ladies (15+)

 

[CuriousCate]

I thought the younger ones would do better too, because they compete against less children? I know in our area few gyms have 6 y/o's competing L3 and 7 y.o's competing L4. I am pretty certain that is why my YDD made team with her older sis. But I could be wrong.?

In our area, the younger kids are judged in a separate group but i've noticed that it hasn't been divided by a strict age cut off - it more seems like the host gym chooses a number of groups for awards (usually 4 groups) and then divides the competitors ages into quartiles. My DD competed her first meet a week after turning 6 and was the youngest gymnast at all 5 meets this season, yet in some she was scored against all 6-7 y/o while others the age group went all the way up to 8 or even 9 in one meet! She was all over the place in terms of where she placed! In states I think they divided strictly by age because I seem to remember her being in a 7 and under group. But all the other meets were USAG sanctioned and there was no predicting!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I think you just need to keep everyone focused on their personal growth curve. And even not doing the same activity there will be things one does better then the other even if one does better overall.

One has more patience. One got one particular skill better then the other. One is more fluid. One is stronger. One can do more pullups or got pullup quicker and so on.

And gratitude and focus on the positive. Period.

Being the older sister and the good one (as per others, including my parents) kinda forced my sister to excel at being the bad one. And we are very different kids but it was amazing the things we would and could get upset over. Heck I was upset my sister got breasts before me. Like anyone on the planet has control over that (without surgery )

So I get sibling rivalry from the inside. As a parent, I have 2 only children , as they are 12 years apart. So I haven't dealt with it parenting wise.

I have heard good things about a book called Siblings Without Rivalry, perhaps you might find some practical things in there as far as managing expectations, individualty and most importantly helping stay and be perceived as nuetral.


I know easier said then done.

 

[xxStumpyxx]

My youngest dd has never won a medal so far, only competed 3 times though, one floor and vault type competition and 2 4 piece competitions, she is working very hard and is getting stronger.

My eldest has got loads of medals and has placed in every completion so far from Floor and Vsult right up to National Competion. Luckily my youngest doesn't care about medals and wants to improve her score and set goals for herself.

 

[scgymmom322]

My youngest dd has never won a medal so far, only competed 3 times though, one floor and vault type competition and 2 4 piece competitions, she is working very hard and is getting stronger.

My eldest has got loads of medals and has placed in every completion so far from Floor and Vsult right up to National Competion. Luckily my youngest doesn't care about medals and wants to improve her score and set goals for herself.

My girls haven't started competing yet--they will start in a couple months--but I think they will be the opposite of this (of course, i could be wrong!). At this point, gymnastics comes pretty easily to my youngest (5), but my oldest (7) has to work very hard and still struggles to get skills. She has asked me before why her sister gets skills so easily and she doesn't, but it usually doesn't bother her. It is actually pretty cute because my youngest still really looks up to her sister and thinks that she is just amazing, and doesn't realize that she actually has more skills than her big sister!

I am interested to see what happens when they start competing--and I am so thankful that they are competing different levels this year due to age. For a while, I was wishing that my older daughter would choose to dance over gymnastics, just so they would have their own thing, but she says she loves gym more! I am just happy that they both found something they love to do!

 

[MILgymFAM]

Coming back to this a few years later and now my girls do both compete. Different streams, yes, but both competing. The funny thing about that is they are now training the exact same level in their respective teams and many would say that my younger DD has the potential to go farther than my older DD. Ah, the tides have shifted- in gymnastics they always do. They have shared two full seasons now and they have supported one other unabashedly. No medal or placement has caused strife and they have proven any worry I had to be baseless. If your children have a strong relationship then this will not derail it. If anything, this can be the lightest and most positive competitive vibe they can have. That's the way it's been for us, at least.