Parents Younger Siblings and their expectations...

[Faith]

So DD2 is old enough this year to start competing. She's done one comp, where she was placed in an under 8 age group due to small numbers, so she was dead last :lol:. Considering she was the youngest by 6 months, she still did a great job (she's just 6).

I kind of feel for her though, as all she's ever known is DD1 doing well at comps. But DD1 was much older before she even started competing- she did two rec in-house meets at 6/7, then only really competed against other clubs age 8/9.

So DD2 has two years before she gets to that level, and will likely compete "up" in age until then so probably won't podium (only top 3). We've told her competitions are fun, to learn and practice, and her coach wants her to compete WAG when she's old enough (have to be 8 here) so these F+V comps are for the experience. We've fallen into the habit of getting them a small gift (toy, dolly, dvd etc) for after the comp if they work hard in the run up (rather than results based). Gymnastics is very, very competitive in our region, and she's in a YMCA style club without full facilities, competing against high hours HPC gyms.

How to you manage if the younger sibling is less successful than the elder? Any hints or tips so they still feel successful even without placing? Am I stressing more than necessary? She always gets the choice to compete, and says she wants to. I don't know whether I'm projecting my Type A personality on to her….

 

[MILgymFAM]

Interesting to me that younger girls place lower- here it seems the youngest in any group are on top and the younger groups score higher in each level also. As for the sibling thing, is your younger DD type A, or no? My younger DD started gym over a year before my older DD, and was really hurt when older DD was moved almost immediately to team, and she is still in advanced rec. She has come to support her sister wholly, but there definitely exists the possibility for sibling rivalry if they are both competing, or even both want to be competing- just depends on your girls personalities. I don't think winning at comps is an important aspect of the sport at all, but I am completely the opposite of type A- not a competitive bone in my body. Ha ha

 

[B&M's mom]

Question, does she even care? My youngest didn't. Her older sister is a very talented gymnastic, trying to qualify elite. I was concerned when my youngest wanted to try gymnastics and then got invited onto the team. I didn't want her comparing herself to her sister. I certainly didn't compare them. She didn't have the same experience, she's repeated some levels but has had years that went extremely well. She'll probably never get to L10 but she's having a great time and enjoying the experience.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I would just explain that all these "Big Girls" have been doing gym a lot longer than she has, and to keep her score sheets and show her progressing as she gets older.

 

[curlymop]

I think I would just follow her lead. It sounds like she wants to do it even if she places lower than big sister, and that sounds like a good thing. She may have some disappointment, but if she learns to manage it and set her own goals for success, she'll have gained a very important skill.

I'm already anticipating a little sibling rivalry in our family. Younger two boys will most likely be competing same level AND age group in a couple of years. Meanwhile, oldest DS takes a rec class and has never been asked to team. Even though he's never expressed an interest in competing, I still worry he'll feel left behind.

 

[munchkin3]

Make these FUN meets? no big deal? we use to SAVOR the fun when DD was 6. She didnt really care anyway. Around 8 is when she began caring.
She will eventually become more competitive like big sis.

 

[tooootsie]

I thought the younger ones would do better too, because they compete against less children? I know in our area few gyms have 6 y/o's competing L3 and 7 y.o's competing L4. I am pretty certain that is why my YDD made team with her older sis. But I could be wrong.?

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

She may not even be aware that she came in last. I know my DD even at age 9 had no idea where she placed. Usually if we as parents don't make it something the kids won't either. At least thats been my experience.

 

[Dr Maleficent]

My 6 year old dd hasn't even been invited to team, and probably won't be, whilst her big brother is in a special program where he gets to leave school early each day to train. She would love to compete - she did one rec competition this year where she came 16th and was totally thrilled to have been able to compete. She would love to be picked for team, but the reality of life is that you can't always have what you want - a really hard lesson to learn but she hasn't let it get her down and is hoping to compete in martial arts instead. I am more proud of her for that than I would be for all the gold medals in the world!

 

[raenndrops]

It probably doesn't really matter much to her at her age... unless she is a Type A Perfectionist, but then, I suspect, she would not keep wanting to compete.

If it helps, I have a little story. My gymmies both went to YMCA Nationals last year. We knew that the liklihood of either one placing was slim to none (although OG came within 2 places on bars).
For YG (age 8 at the time and only qualified because we had an extra meet to get girls who were close qualified), I told her that I would make her paper ribbons for her places... since in most of their meets, they got ribbons for placement.
I ended up making ribbons for 26th place and 30th place (pink and purple... and her age group was out of 30). I let her pick the colors of the ribbons, I put the Nationals logo and her level and the place and date on them. She was just as proud of them as she was of her 3rd AA ribbon from this season (first time on the podium for AA... and, coincidentally, the meet in which she qualified for Nationals THIS year).
This year, she is 9. She still probably won't place, but should be closer... definitely not LAST on vault I will do the same thing with her places though. I have the ribbon template ready to go

 

[wgymmom]

She may very well not care either way. If she's happy, try not to stress about it (I know, easier said than done!).

 

[Faith]

Thank you!

The younger thing- she's just turned 6, and at the last comp she was the only one in her year group competing her level, there were 3 in the older year group, and about 5 in the year above that, so they just combined it into one round and gave awards for the "under 8" category. So she was directly competing against girls nearly 2 years older

I don't know if she's type A, I hope not! She definitely knows about placings, and that she came last. Her experience mainly of competition is watching her sister getting "to stand on the box" so she does get it.

She only trains 3 hours a week, and works very hard, but she's no phenom. But then DD1 wasn't either. She is realising though she's the youngest in swim class, and in her gym group, and in her dance class, so hopefully that will boost her confidence.

I know time will tell and as long as she enjoys it then it's all good . Doesn't help my stress levels at meets though, I can't calm down until it's all over and I can see she's still smiling...

I swear I'm going to have some sort of heart attack at a meet one day Maybe I should get some diazepam

 

[Iwannabemargo]

Gin and a lift-share

 

[profmom]

It's definitely easier when it's the younger one who starts off like a house afire! But for all of them, it's important to emphasize that gymnastics is a marathon and the sport has ups and downs for everyone. Great compulsories don't necessarily become great optionals, but if they stick with it and work hard and apply their coaches' corrections conscientiously, no matter where they start, they get better.

The terrific thing for my son is that, by looking up to his sister, his primary yardstick is himself, and a good meet is one where he did all of his routines to the best or close to the best of his capability.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

My youngest is Type A, although at 6, I don't think she knew it yet, lmao. She was dead last many times (old level 4, turned 6 and 6 weeks later started competing) while DD1 was bringing home ribbons. Older DD is 3.5 years older. DD2 never cared about how much better DD1 did, but when DD2 started exceling, it was DD1 who had the hissy fit. Literally. Seven years later, DD2 still fiercely driven and DD1 has gone to the dark side (cheering).

 

[wallflower]

Get used to it. The youngest kids always have to compete against older kids. The age groups just get broader as they go up the levels. It's pretty common to have to compete against kids 3-4 years older. It doesn't matter. If they are good they are good.

 

[cbifoja]

Get used to it. The youngest kids always have to compete against older kids. The age groups just get broader as they go up the levels. It's pretty common to have to compete against kids 3-4 years older. It doesn't matter. If they are good they are good.

Very true. My 9 year old L7 had to compete against 11YO L7s last year and at least one of them was a 2nd year L7. They just have to learn to deal with it. It all balances out. Next year, mine will be a 10YO 2nd year L7.

 

[gracyomalley]

I have 3 kids competing. The boys were the same level last year at age 13 and 9. Older boy won tons of stuff because he really should have been moved up but their old coach kept them back to win....younger boy turned 9 just before the cut off so competed in the 9-10 age group with boys who were up to 11 3/4 by regionals - and his 2 9 year old friends were in the 7-8 year group - its just the way the cookie crumbles for him...he likely won't medal much with this set up for a few years until puberty, if he sticks with gym. The boys don't seem to compete much - although it helps that DS the younger is built for pbars and pommel and the older vault and floor - so they can each shine in something...and the older is skipping 1-2 levels this year, so they aren't even in the same training group some days....

DD has always been on the younger side of things and thus in the US her age groups tend to be the more competitive ones - she would have been first at state on beam in any of the older age groups, for instance....she repeated L7 last year, but so did most of the girls in her age group, so they all got better - and although her placement moved up significantly, it was still tough competition. Probably will be the same at L8....unfortunately, now that she has been medalling 2 years in a row, she puts more pressure on herself...

Point is they can't care about scores/placement too much if they want to continue in this sport....and even with siblings, setting personal goals and being excited for each other when they are achieved seems the key.

 

[profmom]

A few weeks ago, DS got a prize from his coach for making his half pirouette on pbars, a skill he won't compete at regular meets next season because it's further up the ladder. He chose a Hershey's bar so he could break it in half and give half to his older sister, whom he saw at the same practice across the gym finally making her handstand-back handsprings on the high beam, a skill she had at late L6 and lost for nearly two years. The best part about this story is how completely and genuinely thrilled they were for each other.

 

[cbifoja]

OMG......you must be a seriously proud momma! That's awesome!