Parents No more CGMs

[z2akids]

I have been reading here for years that the crazy, petty competitiveness of the parents decreases as the kids move up levels. I wasn't sure that I believed it, but I am happy to be able to report that the advent of middle school has seen the departure of the last two major CGMs and their daughters - one to the greener pasture of a gym that promised to move the gymnast (L4 last season) up to L7 and the other to competitive cheer.

DD will miss one of the girls. But, DD knew that she has wanted to quit for cheer for a couple of years, but mom pushed for gymnastics. I wish the other girl luck at her new gym, and hope the new setting will renew her enjoyment of the sport.

I am actually looking forward to a renewed enjoyment of competition season with a group of parents all genuinely rooting for all of the girls!

I may even stop by the gym and watch an hour of ptactice now that those two CGMs are no longer there watching all 16 hours a week, counting turns and complaining about which coach favors which girl and why theirs should get more attention.

 

[notthatmom]

I have been reading here for years that the crazy, petty competitiveness of the parents decreases as the kids move up levels. I wasn't sure that I believed it, but I am happy to be able to report that the advent of middle school has seen the departure of the last two major CGMs and their daughters - one to the greener pasture of a gym that promised to move the gymnast (L4 last season) up to L7 and the other to competitive cheer.

DD will miss one of the girls. But, DD knew that she has wanted to quit for cheer for a couple of years, but mom pushed for gymnastics. I wish the other girl luck at her new gym, and hope the new setting will renew her enjoyment of the sport.

I am actually looking forward to a renewed enjoyment of competition season with a group of parents all genuinely rooting for all of the girls!

I may even stop by the gym and watch an hour of ptactice now that those two CGMs are no longer there watching all 16 hours a week, counting turns and complaining about which coach favors which girl and why theirs should get more attention.

Oh how I am looking forward to those days!! We actually had zero issues (from what I noticed) at our old gym with CGMs...new gym...I didn't get so lucky. There are definitely a select bunch who I'm already dreading having to go to meets with this upcoming season. However, at a multi-level meet we did this summer, I sat with some of the upper level mom's, and they were fantastic! The said bunch of CGMs wouldn't even talk to me (went out of their way not to actually, they straight up ignore me on a regular basis)
I have a feeling it's jealousy, since their kids were the new team kids last year, and DD gets lots of attention and praise at the new gym, as the coaches have been able to get her skills/form/overall gymnastics to improve in such a small amount of time....their kids aren't the "new fun thing" anymore.
Oh well. I'll just continue to keep my mouth shut, mind my own beeswax, and mentally smack them in the keister from time to time).

Glad to know there's light at the end one day!

 

[duyetanh]

No light for us over at our end. The oprional parents are very cutthroat, amd for the most part, they suck....My dh and i dont care, but i was admittedly a bit disappointed, as i was hoping the crap stuff would go away.....blah.

 

[raenndrops]

Luckily, CGMs don't last long at our gym.
One lasted 2 years (old L4 and L5, but was also a competitive dancer). She ended up missing gym and went to a big name gym in our area… then left them a month before State and competed at a smaller gym. Eventually, she came back to our gym, but just for HS team. Her mom is better now too.

The other lasted 3 months. We weren't as good as her former "TOPS" gym. Her daughter wasn't even IN TOPS there. We didn't work hard enough. Her daughter didn't get enough spotted turns. and on and on. Daughter quit gym all together. Switched to dance.

 

[gymmomx2]

Who has time to sit there and count turns? People actually do that??????

 

[SMH]

We have a huge new crop of little level 3's, including one who already has a gymnastics Instagram page with thousands of followers and hundreds of posts
I'm going to stay far away from that....seems like prime CGM behavior- especially since we haven't even started meet season yet.

 

[raenndrops]

Who has time to sit there and count turns? People actually do that??????

The same parents who INSIST that there are no "cuts" even is her precious Suzy got out of line to use the bathroom. Everyone who is in line after her MUST wait until she returns. lol

 

[notthatmom]

Who has time to sit there and count turns? People actually do that??????

The same mom's who coach their kids from the viewing area....
I literally heard a mom say (and by "say" I mean shouted across the gym) to her child "you know that flippy thingyou did on the bars? You need to do [this this and this]"

Uh yeah, if you don't even know what "that flippy thing" is called, shut your mouth and stop watching practice.

 

[gymmomx2]

The same mom's who coach their kids from the viewing area....
I literally heard a mom say (and by "say" I mean shouted across the gym) to her child "you know that flippy thingyou did on the bars? You need to do [this this and this]"

Uh yeah, if you don't even know what "that flippy thing" is called, shut your mouth and stop watching practice.

That boggles the mind, honestly. Coaches actually put up with that?

 

[notthatmom]

That boggles the mind, honestly. Coaches actually put up with that?

Apparently. Drives me nuts.

 

[sce]

The same parents who INSIST that there are no "cuts" even is her precious Suzy got out of line to use the bathroom. Everyone who is in line after her MUST wait until she returns. lol

The Mom can actually make them all wait though?!? I feel like no coach would put up with that!

 

[sce]

The same mom's who coach their kids from the viewing area....
I literally heard a mom say (and by "say" I mean shouted across the gym) to her child "you know that flippy thingyou did on the bars? You need to do [this this and this]"
.

Wow

 

[skschlag]

At our new gym, I have seen some parents yell across the floor at their kiddo, or the more common thing is to call your kiddo over to give them "tips". One mom of a boy was doing that, and asked me if I ever noticed things taht D needed to work on. I told her yes, but since I didn't really know what they were focusing on at the time, I didn't like to give any tips, and that I left it up to the coach. She really didn' tknow what to say...but did go on to say how her son doesn't always hear the coach so she has to repeat it sometimes. sigh.

 

[raenndrops]

The Mom can actually make them all wait though?!? I feel like no coach would put up with that!

The coaches don't allow it... But the mom can raise a fuss about it.
Complained that they SHOULD have waited... I nicely said that her daughter probably SHOULD have gone to the bathroom BEFORE practice.

 

[sppd]

At our old gym when my daughter was pretty new to gymnastics, we were at our in house meet. This was my daughters first time ever "competing" and we had the family of another girl sitting right behind us. This girl had been with the gym for several years and was on the same level as my daughter. This in house meet was not an officially sanctioned meet, but more of a chance for the girls to show off their skills for their families, but it was judged by certified judges and medals were awarded. I am pretty sure that this family was not aware which gymnast was ours, because they were saying terrible things about our daughter including profanities about her the entire time. The one comment that stands out above all the rest was something to the effect of "this is BS....our daughter is sooo much better than that little B....". That was one example of the CGMs that we had to deal with. There was a group of CGMs that were like a gang of bullies that would be at the gym from the time it opened until the time it closed gossiping and talking about anyone that was not in their little circle. They would even shoot dirty looks at other parents when they would come in to pick up. We changed gyms back in May. Coincidentally, this is as my daughter has moved into middle school like the OP, and I have not seen any indication of any CGMs. The few other parents that I have spoken to have been really supportive of all the girls at the gym, and seem to genuinely support all members of the gym.

 

[Seeker]

Wow @sppd -- that is horrible!! I am glad it's better, but wow.

 

[duyetanh]

Yeah that is insane! Our gym cgms do the passive aggressive crap.

 

[Gymmommy71]

Who has time to sit there and count turns? People actually do that??????

When parents actually get this crazy, I start to suspect the culture at the gym is to blame at least a little - it's like Suzy mom is more worried about Suzy vs. Sally than she is about Suzy's progress. That stuff usually doesn't develop unless the gym fosters an internally competitive training situation (always comparing and or ranking girls on the same team, etc.). My DD has only had 1 or 2 coaches (out of dozens) that did this crap, and it can be very defeating for the kids and cause certain parents to lose it.

 

[raenndrops]

When parents actually get this crazy, I start to suspect the culture at the gym is to blame at least a little - it's like Suzy mom is more worried about Suzy vs. Sally than she is about Suzy's progress. That stuff usually doesn't develop unless the gym fosters an internally competitive training situation (always comparing and or ranking girls on the same team, etc.). My DD has only had 1 or 2 coaches (out of dozens) that did this crap, and it can be very defeating for the kids and cause certain parents to lose it.

When it happened at my gym, it had NOTHING to do with the culture at the gym. It was the NEW mom that was the CGM.

 

[z2akids]

No light for us over at our end. The oprional parents are very cutthroat, amd for the most part, they suck....My dh and i dont care, but i was admittedly a bit disappointed, as i was hoping the crap stuff would go away.....blah.

Ugh. I am sorry it hasn't imoroved for you as your DD has moved up levels.

I don't know if there is a new group of CGMs in the lower levels at DD's gym. I think most of the reason it has imprkved is through attrition. HC wasn't going to move them up and so they decided to find a greener pasture or other sport. We still have some uptight parents, but at leadt they aren't cutthroat.