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Parents shut out - switch gyms?

Discussion in 'Parent Forum' started by A's Mom, Nov 30, 2018.

  1. An addendum to my post above: Of course if there are grave concerns, a gym owner/head coach who refuses to meet and discuss and remedy troubling issues is a red flag.
    PinPin likes this.
  2. You’re right. I jumped on red flag bc the original post sounded like the coaches were deliberately avoiding a group of parents with a reasonable concern. I guess parents are so invested in gymnastics bc it’s so danged many hours and year round. We never talk to my daughter’s soccer coach. There just hasn’t ever really been a need.
  3. I mean, I speak to my daughter’s ballet teachers all the time- about progress and possibilities after high school, extra practice needed for pointe work, roles she may dance, etc. Dance is the only thing that has rivaled gymnastics in terms of time commitment and price, and it makes sense to me to communicate with the people who have my kid six days a week. When they did other activities for low cost and mere hours a week, I never had any expectations in terms of communication- our commitment level spoke to the importance in my child’s life and I respected that.

    That said, dance, t&t, and rhythmic have all had naturally communicative teachers/coaches who have initiated conversations as often as I have. Artistic gymnastics is singularly closed off in our experience. I will say that I rarely speak to my DD’s current coaches in person (I’ve literally never spoken to two of the three), but the HC always answers my emails in a timely and thoughtful manner. That is the minimum I will accept.
    A's Mom, PinPin, Puff and 1 other person like this.
  4. Other than the number of hours, another difference between gymnastics and basketball, football, lacrosse, soccer, track, tennis, and volleyball (the sports i have knowledge of from the list) is that all those other sports: 1 - are fewer hours and 2 - leagues are more often age based rather than skill based. You know that when your child is in 5th grade, they will be going out for a 5th grade basketball team (or the age equivalent if the teams go by age) ... and if the coach wants something different, they will talk to the parent about it. But otherwise, no conversation needed. BUT, as we all know, in gymnastics, you can have a 16 year old in the same level with a 6 year old. Because moving up in gymnastics isn't based on getting older or moving up a grade in school, parents may need a little more communication ... even if it is just a general parent meeting to explain things and answer general questions / deal with general concerns.
  5. You are gravely mistaken. What you state above sounds like intramurals. Perhaps you don't have the knowledge of the competitive aspect of those sports.

    In soccer for example, outside of intramurals, we have programs that provide professional coaches, training, clinics. They hold try outs to be part of a "travel" team. If you don't make a team, you go back to intramurals and develop your skills. It is only age based in as much as there is a cap. The teams are labeled U10, U12 etc. You have to be under 10 years old to play in a U10 team, but you can be an 7 year old. (My daughter played two years above her age in a premiere team.) Those that get through the try outs (it is a three day try out-compared to a few minutes to join a gymnastics club) are further divided according to ability. There is the A team (top team), B team and sometimes a C team.

    Then each team plays in a variety of leagues depending on the caliber of play and their competitive level. There are several divisions and leagues. Practice hours are not as low as you think. They are close to YMCA gymnastics practice hours. My daughter practices 5 days a week 2 -2 1/2 a day. And her games are significantly more than gymnastics meets. It can be every weekend. Also it is year round.

    Accept it or not, most sports, if not all, are set up very similar to gymnastics. All the sports have goals to reach the highest level of their ability and desire. All those sports have the opportunity of scholarships. All these sports will have situations where a conference with the coach may be warranted, why did my kid get cut from the team, don't have enough play time, why didn't my kid qualify for nationals or summer Olympics (fencing), etc. These coaches don't hold progress report meetings or conferences, I cannot think of any sport outside of those in the intramurals level that sets those limitations you state. The point I was trying to make is this lack of communication is universal and is not always a red flag. That is all.
    Rebel likes this.
  6. I am aware of competitive sports and how the ones I listed work. I know families that have kids doing travel soccer. When the coach of the 10U team wanted my friend's 8 year old on the 10U team, he TALKED to them. I know the hours he practiced (and his older brothers). I also know how some other sports work.
    I played travel baseball back before it was year round. We had tryouts. We practiced at least 2 hours a day (more when we were on the all-star team in July and August) 5 days a week, unless we had a game that day. We had weekend tournaments as all-stars. Again, if a coach wanted us to move up a level, he would TALK to the parents. I also played football, 5th grade basketball, 7th and 8th grade volleyball, 8th grade track, and JV softball as a freshman (I would have done double duty in JV and Varsity, but they already had 3 older girls on varsity who could play shortstop).
    The basketball teams in my area (other than Upward, Impact, and YMCA) have try outs. There was recently a big discussion because this is the first year they would have to have cuts after filling the teams for 5th grade basketball. The coaches didn't mention this in the information about it ... and they decided that the PARENTS should be the ones to tell the kids if they were cut. Once they get into middle school and do school sports, they have 6th grade teams (for 6th graders), 7th grade teams, 8th grade teams, 9th grade teams (in some sports), JV and Varsity. If a coach wants a 9th grader to play on the JV or Varsity team, they TALK to the player and have the player talk it over with parents.
    I also know girls that do year round softball and boys that do year round baseball. There are tryouts. Those who make it are placed on teams... and if the coaches want them to move up a league, they TALK to the parents.
    That is what I was trying to say. Been there, done that.
    And as far as scholarships, that is neither here nor there because there are a lot more kids playing every sport than there are athletic scholarships available.
    I do agree that no communication isnt always a bad thing, BUT if there is a question, SOMEBODY should answer it.
    sce likes this.
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