Parents Abrupt end of her season...

[AYEMama]

I am so sorry this happened. It hurts so much to see our kids hurting. Especially when the pain is emotional as well as physical. Hang in there, have something to eat, and I hope you have some answers and a path forward soon.

Thank you. It's hard to put into words the heartache I'm feeling, but she is so strong, mentally and physically. Much more than I am. I got something to eat finally!

 

[AYEMama]

I have yet to experience any adverse experience with my kids that did not deepen our relationship and teach me something about them, and myself. In other words, there is good to be found in almost any experience. The way I got through my kids serious injuries- one of which took one son out of gymnastics forever- was to remain hopeful about the future, but focused on the present, while maintaining as much clarity as possible about what I or my child had control over, and what we did not.

Thank you for this. You're absolutely right. It's only been a day and a half, but my relationship with both my kids feels different already and I am shocked at how optimistic and strong my daughter is. Thank you for your reply. <3

 

[AYEMama]

Absolutely this... My daughter had a serious ankle injury and in hindsight we did not have the best doctor, and it took two years to recover. Please take your time to find the right doctor. One of my biggest regrets as a parent is not going to the emergency room right away. My daughter has a very high pain tolerance, (I think a lot of gymnasts have high pain tolerance) so we waited to go to her usual pediatric doctor, when she really needed an ankle specialist. It has been torture seeing her take so long to come back and yes, she did too much too soon due the soft tissue issues. So, my advice is finding the best doctor, and come back slowly because otherwise it can take twice as long to finally heal. It took our third doctor to finally find a solution. She is competing now, so but it took a lot of perseverance to get where she is now. Good luck and I agree that the hardest thing for any parent, but especially for moms, is to watch your child suffer. Try to do your grieving in private. Please emphasize that if she comes back too soon, she will just be delaying the actual healing process so please take it slow.

Thank you. It took some fast researching, but the person we are going to is vetted by several people (with a few out of my own network), so we are confident about seeing her today. I will definitely emphasize on full recovery and not rushing things.

My grieving has mostly been in private. I had to go to her school yesterday to explain the situation and went by myself. As soon as I opened my mouth, the floodgates opened and I couldn't stop hysterically crying in the school office (thankful for the staff being so supportive). So, I guess that wasn't so private HAH, but it wasn't in front of my daughter.

 

[AYEMama]

Gymnastics has equipped her to deal with physical adversity and push through. We're all pulling for her recovery and thinking of you guys.

Thank you. The support I'm getting here, from strangers with kids in gymnastics, has given me comfort. We get seen in about 2 hours, and will be driving over an hour to get there. Here we go!

 

[AAAinNOLA]

I think we follow you on IG. I am so sorry you are going through this. First - congrats to your daughter on her accomplishments. She is clearly an amazing gymnast. That needs to be celebrated. My daughter's big ambitious goal is a 38, so what an inspiration your girl is to others. Second - my heart goes out to you. This is out of your control, and it is out of her control. The natural reaction is to say "why us? why me?" This part truly sucks. It is healthy to grieve what could have been, what SHOULD be and having to give it all up (for now) not on your terms. Acknowledging your emotions is step one, which is really good to do - gym parents do understand how you are feeling so lean on them. In fact - if you are open to it - you may find therapy (if you don't already go) a useful tool for you to process this ordeal. In time your daughter may too. This IS in fact a big emotional deal. For you, for her, likely for her team, etc. Third - try to remind yourself that we have excellent specialists in this country who can help her rehab and come back. The uncertainty and process will be hard, but there IS hope. She is mentally strong enough for the sport, for kick butt AA scores and that means she has what it takes to handle this adversity too. Hang in there and let us know how it goes today.

 

[AYEMama]

I think we follow you on IG. I am so sorry you are going through this. First - congrats to your daughter on her accomplishments. She is clearly an amazing gymnast. That needs to be celebrated. My daughter's big ambitious goal is a 38, so what an inspiration your girl is to others. Second - my heart goes out to you. This is out of your control, and it is out of her control. The natural reaction is to say "why us? why me?" This part truly sucks. It is healthy to grieve what could have been, what SHOULD be and having to give it all up (for now) not on your terms. Acknowledging your emotions is step one, which is really good to do - gym parents do understand how you are feeling so lean on them. In fact - if you are open to it - you may find therapy (if you don't already go) a useful tool for you to process this ordeal. In time your daughter may too. This IS in fact a big emotional deal. For you, for her, likely for her team, etc. Third - try to remind yourself that we have excellent specialists in this country who can help her rehab and come back. The uncertainty and process will be hard, but there IS hope. She is mentally strong enough for the sport, for kick butt AA scores and that means she has what it takes to handle this adversity too. Hang in there and let us know how it goes today.

Is the IG of a level 7 gymnast that's asian and occasionally posts her golf swings? If it is, then it's probably my daughter She wants to share and put her recovery process in her IG stories.

She's always been super positive and is an optimist. I have yet to hear her say "why me?", but I keep asking myself "why her?"... I'm more of a pessimist, so I'm grateful she's not like me. I might take your advice about therapy to process everything. I think I need it...

I'll post an update. Thank you!

 

[AYEMama]

UPDATE 3/9/23

We drove far and saw the specialist today. She's an arm specialist and is someone that understands high performing child athletes and their needs (we went to a children's hospital). She is scheduled for surgery next Wednesday. The doctor told us that for any "regular" child, surgery isn't necessary, but 100%, no doubt in her mind, will need it for sports like gymnastics or baseball (pitchers), etc. The chipped fracture is facing the wrong way, so it'll be turned back and then screwed onto her humerus. No nerve damage that she's worried about right now, but wants us to keep an eye on it until the surgery (she's also a nerve specialist and saved my daughter's teammate's hand). We didn't take an MRI because she said with the severity of the dislocation, everything is probably looking crazy right now anyway. She'll see everything during surgery.

One thing we did was take more X-rays because she couldn't see the fractured bone in the images we gave her. She thought maybe the ER realigned her severely dislocated elbow poorly and left the fractured piece INSIDE her joint , which would make this case a more urgent once. Thank goodness the new X-rays showed that the ER did a good job with the realignment. phew.

My daughter asked about recovery time after the surgery. Doctor said 3 months, which sounds super short to me. Maybe I misheard. She'll be in a cast for a few weeks (3?), and then a brace to start moving her arm as soon as possible to start PT.

We called our gym on our way home to let them know. They said when she gets an 'ok' from her doctor to do simple/modified leg conditioning, they'll have things for her to do. They don't want her back until she gets cleared to do that stuff, though, and I'm not going to rush it for sure, but when the doctor clears her to do any leg work and stretching, my daughter will be so happy to go for even just a little bit at a time.

She is really scared about the surgery, but knows it's really her only option to go back to doing what she loves. She's optimistic and looking forward to putting in the work to get back to 100%. She knows it won't be a quick process, but a journey. And I'll be with her every step of the way.

So, we have a plan. Now we wait for surgery day.

Thank you all again for your replies. I truly never thought I would feel comforted by people I don't know and wrote the original post out of desperation. I'm grateful for this forum <3

 

[cmg]

UPDATE 3/9/23

We drove far and saw the specialist today. She's an arm specialist and is someone that understands high performing child athletes and their needs (we went to a children's hospital). She is scheduled for surgery next Wednesday. The doctor told us that for any "regular" child, surgery isn't necessary, but 100%, no doubt in her mind, will need it for sports like gymnastics or baseball (pitchers), etc. The chipped fracture is facing the wrong way, so it'll be turned back and then screwed onto her humerus. No nerve damage that she's worried about right now, but wants us to keep an eye on it until the surgery (she's also a nerve specialist and saved my daughter's teammate's hand). We didn't take an MRI because she said with the severity of the dislocation, everything is probably looking crazy right now anyway. She'll see everything during surgery.

One thing we did was take more X-rays because she couldn't see the fractured bone in the images we gave her. She thought maybe the ER realigned her severely dislocated elbow poorly and left the fractured piece INSIDE her joint , which would make this case a more urgent once. Thank goodness the new X-rays showed that the ER did a good job with the realignment. phew.

My daughter asked about recovery time after the surgery. Doctor said 3 months, which sounds super short to me. Maybe I misheard. She'll be in a cast for a few weeks (3?), and then a brace to start moving her arm as soon as possible to start PT.

We called our gym on our way home to let them know. They said when she gets an 'ok' from her doctor to do simple/modified leg conditioning, they'll have things for her to do. They don't want her back until she gets cleared to do that stuff, though, and I'm not going to rush it for sure, but when the doctor clears her to do any leg work and stretching, my daughter will be so happy to go for even just a little bit at a time.

She is really scared about the surgery, but knows it's really her only option to go back to doing what she loves. She's optimistic and looking forward to putting in the work to get back to 100%. She knows it won't be a quick process, but a journey. And I'll be with her every step of the way.

So, we have a plan. Now we wait for surgery day.

Thank you all again for your replies. I truly never thought I would feel comforted by people I don't know and wrote the original post out of desperation. I'm grateful for this forum <3

If you do get an MRI make sure you get a copy of the report yourself. The issue with my daughter's ankle was all the soft tissue which is what the MRI will show. I got the report a year later just because I was curious since she was still having issues and wished I had gotten it right away. Her doctor at the time was only concerned if he needed to do surgery or not to fix her fracture and failed to tell us about all the torn tendons etc. My daughter probably needed 6 months of very modified conditioning, not 3 months to let the bone heal. When I read the report, I freaked out because it was obviously very bad, and I even knew that, and I am not in the medical field. I always get my own report now, because then you have the information if you want to get a second opinion. Just my two cents but I feel like these days you really have to be your own advocate when it comes to health care, insurance issues, and finding the right doctor. Sorry if I am coming off very strong on this subject, I just don't want anyone else to have to go through what my daughter went through. I hope everything turns out great for your daughter and she heals completely. You could ask your doctor about any tendon and/or ligament damage once the bone is healing, like after she gets her cast off. I hope nothing but the best for you and your daughter.

 

[gymgal]

Sounds like you have a plan moving forward which really helps with the emotional rollercoaster feeling. Hoping for a quick recovery for her. Highly recommend getting a PT who has worked with gymnasts so you have a better timeline. Drs usually low ball the recovery time because they don't understand the intricacies of gym training, especially at the higher levels. You will also have a better shot of getting exercises that will be targeted toward her training needs

 

[AYEMama]

If you do get an MRI make sure you get a copy of the report yourself. The issue with my daughter's ankle was all the soft tissue which is what the MRI will show. I got the report a year later just because I was curious since she was still having issues and wished I had gotten it right away. Her doctor at the time was only concerned if he needed to do surgery or not to fix her fracture and failed to tell us about all the torn tendons etc. My daughter probably needed 6 months of very modified conditioning, not 3 months to let the bone heal. When I read the report, I freaked out because it was obviously very bad, and I even knew that, and I am not in the medical field. I always get my own report now, because then you have the information if you want to get a second opinion. Just my two cents but I feel like these days you really have to be your own advocate when it comes to health care, insurance issues, and finding the right doctor. Sorry if I am coming off very strong on this subject, I just don't want anyone else to have to go through what my daughter went through. I hope everything turns out great for your daughter and she heals completely. You could ask your doctor about any tendon and/or ligament damage once the bone is healing, like after she gets her cast off. I hope nothing but the best for you and your daughter.

Yes, I will definitely keep asking about soft tissue damages. When she told me she's not ordering an MRI right away, I made a note in my notebook to follow up about it on the day of the surgery and during follow up appointments. I also wrote an email really early this morning to her so that I can get some reassurance that soft tissue problems is something she will be looking for. I work in pain management and fully understand an unresolved tendon/ligament issue will cause problems. You're definitely not coming off too strong. Thank you.

 

[AYEMama]

Sounds like you have a plan moving forward which really helps with the emotional rollercoaster feeling. Hoping for a quick recovery for her. Highly recommend getting a PT who has worked with gymnasts so you have a better timeline. Drs usually low ball the recovery time because they don't understand the intricacies of gym training, especially at the higher levels. You will also have a better shot of getting exercises that will be targeted toward her training needs

I am going through that emotional rollercoaster today for sure. I've been a mess all day. We have a PT lined up that works with gymnasts and also is familiar with our surgeon. If for some reason we aren't able to go to that PT, we will for sure find someone who understands high level gymnastics. Thank you!

 

[AAAinNOLA]

I am glad that you all have answers. I know this feels like an insurmountable mountain right now. This too shall pass but in the meantime you have every right to feel your feelings. In fact, you need to. Naming the feelings - whether anger or frustration or just plain sad - is healthy. You have gotten practical medical advice from others, so I have nothing to add there. But please know that the emotional aspect of any medical hurdle is real. Don't let anyone tell you (or your daughter should icky feelings pop up) otherwise. She may process it better as kids don't always understand time and severity ... it may be a harder process for you, and that's okay! Adults can understand better than kids so we also can tend to feel more "down" about certain things. She's gonna get through this!

 

[AYEMama]

Yes, I will definitely keep asking about soft tissue damages. When she told me she's not ordering an MRI right away, I made a note in my notebook to follow up about it on the day of the surgery and during follow up appointments. I also wrote an email really early this morning to her so that I can get some reassurance that soft tissue problems is something she will be looking for. I work in pain management and fully understand an unresolved tendon/ligament issue will cause problems. You're definitely not coming off too strong. Thank you.

@cmg - I received a reply from the doctor and she let me know step by step what her plan is for her ligamentous and other soft tissue. She's not dismissing it at all, which gave me a lot of reassurance. I will keep advocating for the best care for sure and keep asking questions.

 

[AYEMama]

I am glad that you all have answers. I know this feels like an insurmountable mountain right now. This too shall pass but in the meantime you have every right to feel your feelings. In fact, you need to. Naming the feelings - whether anger or frustration or just plain sad - is healthy. You have gotten practical medical advice from others, so I have nothing to add there. But please know that the emotional aspect of any medical hurdle is real. Don't let anyone tell you (or your daughter should icky feelings pop up) otherwise. She may process it better as kids don't always understand time and severity ... it may be a harder process for you, and that's okay! Adults can understand better than kids so we also can tend to feel more "down" about certain things. She's gonna get through this!

I think you are right about some kids not understanding time and severity, at least for my child! I don't know how she's such a "cup half full" kind of person. And here I am, an emotional wreck (not in front of her)... I'm having trouble eating and have only forced a few bites since Tuesday lunch.

Today, we sent her to school (the school knows everything and has made several accommodations for her) and I was a mess all day. In fact, I should've picked her up about an hour ago and we should be on our way to a meet right now. Her teammates will be FaceTiming her soon from the meet... such a strange thing.

 

[AAAinNOLA]

I think you are right about some kids not understanding time and severity, at least for my child! I don't know how she's such a "cup half full" kind of person. And here I am, an emotional wreck (not in front of her)... I'm having trouble eating and have only forced a few bites since Tuesday lunch.

Today, we sent her to school (the school knows everything and has made several accommodations for her) and I was a mess all day. In fact, I should've picked her up about an hour ago and we should be on our way to a meet right now. Her teammates will be FaceTiming her soon from the meet... such a strange thing.

That's the whole "what should be" piece that adults fully understand. It sounds like you are mourning what cannot be now because of the injury. It's okay to say those things out loud. She can't compete. She can't get her 39. She can't get to regionals, etc. Sit with that for a bit because the only way for it to pass is to say it and name it. Ignoring it would be worse. Maybe you all can do some fun things this weekend you don't normally have time for. Movie night at home or girls' shopping afternoon? Kids tend not to understand time as well as we do, so she may not realize what 3 months or 6 months even is like we do. Hang in there!

 

[drwho42]

I got that terrifying phone call yesterday... "You need to come, quick".
I got there within seconds and was riding in an ambulance with her moments after.
It was pretty much a freak accident, falling arm first (like diving) from the high bar.
Not doing upgrades, not doing anything out of the ordinary.
Her arm did not look ok. It looked horrific. I know it could've been so much worse... but I can't think about that right now.
They realigned and stabilized it for now, but won't know the extent of her injuries until our ortho appointment.

She's competing level 7 and has gotten 38 AA at every meet. Highest so far was 38.70.
Her goal was to get to 39 and make it onto the State Team.
I am devastated for her. It was heartbreaking to see her in so much pain.

I've been keeping it together to stay strong in front of her, but I'm crumbling inside.
Parents with gymnasts that have gone through major injuries, please tell me how you got through it, any encouraging words, any thoughts.... anything.
Please, I just need some support right now. I am crushed for her and feel helpless.

I am so sorry to hear. As a parent these situations are always tough but you should keep your head up and try to get your DD focused on healing. Timing is never good and my DD had an injury days before states and was only able to do two events. She wasn’t gutted and was in a good frame of mind.

Wishing her a speedy recovery and hang in there.

 

[AYEMama]

UPDATE 3/16/23

Yesterday, she went in for surgery. Official procedure name: Humerus Medial Epicondyle Open Reduction Internal Fixation (ORIF).

The fractured chipped medial epicondyle, which was displaced far from her humerus, broke into 2 during the procedure, which made the surgery itself longer than expected, but everything is back in its place and she is in a huge cast. There are MANY muscles and ligaments/tendons that attach to the medial epicondyle. Doctor said all the ligaments/tendons and muscles that broke off with the medial epicondyle were all intact with the chipped bone itself, so she didn't have to re-attach anything (just the bone - she reinforced the muscles with stitches, though, just to make sure). While everything stretched out because of the nature of the injury, the body will heal itself (so no major ligament or other soft tissue issues, thank goodness). The ulnar nerve in question actually moved back on its own when the fractured bone was attached, so she didn't even have to touch it (phew).

She did share that there was an impressive amount of bruising and lots of blood pooling inside when she first went in... and that this was quite a significant blow to her elbow.

She is expecting the cast to come off in 2 weeks (actually just a little shy of 2 weeks) at her post-op appointment. If the X-ray looks good, she will be placed in a hinged brace to start working on ROM.

Wanted to share a picture of her cast that she shared on her IG stories! She is a HUGE BTS fan, so her doctor drew this on her arm. Thank you for reading and following along. Now, we just wait for the body to do its thing...

 

[gym_dad32608]

Aw, pulling for her and you and the family! These are tough kiddos.

 

[bookworm]

UPDATE 3/9/23

My daughter asked about recovery time after the surgery. Doctor said 3 months, which sounds super short to me. Maybe I misheard. She'll be in a cast for a few weeks (3?), and then a brace to start moving her arm as soon as possible to start PT.

We called our gym on our way home to let them know. They said when she gets an 'ok' from her doctor to do simple/modified leg conditioning, they'll have things for her to do. They don't want her back until she gets cleared to do that stuff, though, and I'm not going to rush it for sure, but when the doctor clears her to do any leg work and stretching, my daughter will be so happy to go for even just a little bit at a time.

My daughters have had a few surgeries over the years ...elbow OCD surgery was one of them ...and the thing I can't stress enough , and that saved my girls limbs and back , is to listen to the doctors and not the coaches about returning to the gym....even to "condition". My daughter went to a highly rated orthopedic surgeon at a large Children's Hospital and he was able to fix her elbow but his caveat was "I don't want her back in the gym AT ALL for 3 months. I know who her coach is and he doesn't respect what medical professionals say so I've had kids "go in to condition" and he made them do more and he undid all my work..... So she stayed out of the gym...her coach didn't like it but when she came back, she was ready. She did PT prescribed by her orthopedic surgeon. Talk to your surgeon in depth about a timeline.

I had seen many kids march right back into our gym "to condition" and they were doing way more than that ...and a lot of them never healed correctly , had ongoing pain, needed another surgery , retired from the sport...and those things really didn't need to happen if the kids had been allowed to heal properly . The parents at that gym (and many others) were so afraid of going against what the coach said about returning to the gym that they abandoned their duty to protect their child. My daughter stayed out for 3 months, recovered ,went to Easterns that year and over 10 years later , still has a pain free elbow. Good luck.

 

[Lucia]

I haven't been on Chalkbucket much lately and am just catching up on posts. I just wanted to say I'm thinking of your daughter and you mama, and sending you strength and healing for the journey!