Parents ALWAYS complaining ....

[Committed]

So, I'm at a loss with DD. She's had her share of injuries in the past year. Her knee has healed, and is cleared to go back to gym this week.
Now she's complaining about her ankles hurting. She was fine all day yesterday. She was fine this morning. As soon as she puts on her boots and we go to the store, she's limping and walking slowly. Right now, she's on the couch with her legs up and icing her ankles.

What do I do with a child that's ALWAYS complaining about being hurt somewhere? I know she didn't injure herself because we've been home. No activity, no school, no sports.
Is it a real injury? Is it in her head? Knee pain went away when she found out it was healed, and she was sobbing and crying for me to take her to the hospital the night before.

She complains that her eye hurts and can't close it. She complains that her finger hurts. Her stomach hurts. Something always hurts.

Should I be concerned or chalk this up to a 6yo being a drama queen?

 

[Faith]

She's 6. I'd be very concerned that she is having these issues so early in her gymnastics career. Imagined or otherwise. Gymnastics is extremely hard on the body, and if she is having pain now, the impact and training regime will only get tougher, the hours will get longer and her body will struggle.

I'd be thinking about scaling things right back, at least for a while, until the pain stops. Find "her" level, where she can train without any pain or niggly injuries. Then build up slowly and gradually, with lots of conditioning and lots of pit and mat work to reduce impact.

I'd say first stop is schedule a meeting with the coaches. Explain whats going on and your concerns she may burn out physically. If they've any sense they should be looking long term, and 6 months to a year of "easy" training isn't going to affect her future olympic career .

The other worry I'd have is this is her way of telling you she's struggling. How many hours does she do at what level? She might not be able to articulate that she loves gym and doesn't want to stop, but it's too much, so it's coming out subconsciously in all these little physical things.

 

[MeetDirector]

OK, this might not be a popular opinion, but I think you have a 6-yr old screaming out to be a 6-yr old and do the things her 6-yr old pals do. If she is in the gym more than 9 hours a week it is too much. Maybe she just wants some mom and dad time and being "injured" gets her that time.

Good Luck.

 

[mimi]

I agree with the above posters. My jaw dropped a little when I read that she was only 6. Seems like maybe she is a bit overwhelmed and it is starting to manifest itself as some anxiety. Now is the time in her gymnastics "career" for things to be fun and relaxed. I'd scale back some.

 

[bogwoppit]

I realised along my girls gym journey that their bodies just could not handle gymnastics. They were always injured, always icing and always rehabbing. It drove me nuts, they quit, it drives me less nuts.

AT 6 mine were not complaining at all, I would be very concerned if she is always in pain at this point.

 

[Committed]

She hasn't been in any activity since mid October. She has been begging to let her go back and crying when I tell her that she can't yet.
She gets plenty of play dates and was only going to gym 4 hours a week. I highly doubt it's overuse or over training.

 

[curlygirls]

Did these complaints of pains and injuries occur before she was in gymnastics?

It could be that she has a low tolerance for pain. She might grow out of this as she matures. I would consult with her pediatrician and see what he/she recommends.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

So, I'm at a loss with DD. She's had her share of injuries in the past year. Her knee has healed, and is cleared to go back to gym this week.
Now she's complaining about her ankles hurting. She was fine all day yesterday. She was fine this morning. As soon as she puts on her boots and we go to the store, she's limping and walking slowly. Right now, she's on the couch with her legs up and icing her ankles.

What do I do with a child that's ALWAYS complaining about being hurt somewhere? I know she didn't injure herself because we've been home. No activity, no school, no sports.
Is it a real injury? Is it in her head? Knee pain went away when she found out it was healed, and she was sobbing and crying for me to take her to the hospital the night before.

She complains that her eye hurts and can't close it. She complains that her finger hurts. Her stomach hurts. Something always hurts.

Should I be concerned or chalk this up to a 6yo being a drama queen?

====
lol, they are kids, they will be as tough as you want them to be, or teach them to be.

 

[Committed]

And.... it's been an hour since my original post and her ankles "feel pretty good".

 

[Jenny]

I agree with people above it could be that she is in the gym too much and it is her way of pulling back.

But I have known kids who are just drama injury queens. Not related to sport. Just love to have a poorly! And love the attention it brings. Either way I think you need to sit down and talk to her.

I don't think it is emotionally healthy that a 6 year old who isn't injured is sat icing her ankles. You are right to be worried about that. You might need some tough love there!

 

[Committed]

Yes, she does love attention. She enjoys ice packs and heating pads.

I think she's jumping off her bed with her little brother right now.

 

[curlygirls]

If the pediatrician finds no physical problem that would be causing all of these pains, I would begin providing very little attention to such complaints, dealing with them in a very bored and bland manner.

I would not allow wrapping or icing without a doctor's recommendation. I would just say, go lay down in your room if your ankle/pinkie/foot is hurting. Then I would continue on with my day.

 

[mouey77]

The number of hrs per week doesn't sound unreasonable. What level though? Are they doing skills that might be too much for her? I'm just wondering bc is she the child with the broken foot and then the tendon tear in her knee? That does seem a lot for a 6 yr old. Maybe she has some anxiety from those injuries and it's coming out through lots of complaining about minor physical injuries? I would explore possible anxiety, but I do agree with the poster who suggested handling physical complaints matter-of-factly and without much reaction on your part.

 

[Committed]

Don't get me wrong, I don't jump at every injury. I usually just tell her, "That's too bad."
However, she is very accident prone and does get hurt.
She's on pre team, but has all of her level 4 skills. She was the most advanced in her class, so she wasn't working above her ability. They rarely even tumbled on the floor, it was mostly on the tramp.
Her ankle injury was from smacking it on the springboard, being spotted by the coach. She was just doing a drill, and didn't land back on the springboard, she slid of the side. The knee was on the run TO the vault.
Both were related to vaulting, so she's not excited to go back to vaulting.

She does get anxious sometimes, but it's usually due to people pleasing. She doesn't want people to think she CAN'T do something.

 

[Committed]

Maybe I'll just throw away her boots. Bad things happen to her ankles in those. Perhaps it'll solve that problem!

 

[mouey77]

To me, those accidents sound pretty random, so could she have a little anxiety along the lines of "random accidents happen to me at the gym and I end up with big injuries?" Maybe that's not at all what's happening, but usually when kids hyperfocus on physical complaints it's an anxiety or attention seeking thing. New level 4 is advanced for a 6 yr old, so could the vault skill for that level be an issue or at least worth looking into? Given her size or how fast she is running? I don't know!

 

[Committed]

Her coach thinks she is running too hard to the vault. She's digging into the floor. I really don't know. They rarely work vault, and usually it's just flat backs.
DD is also tall for her age (4'2"). Not sure if her body is sore from growing? Are growing pains a real thing?

 

[my4buffaloes]

"Yes, she does love attention. She enjoys ice packs and heating pads."

It seems to me that she wants attention. If she complains that something hurts just say "you know where the ice pack is" and don't make a big deal of it. I bet the "pain" will go away when the attention goes away.

 

[dani4]

If it is an attention-seeking thing, she might need more attention, not less.. just not tied to her complaints. Kids need attention, it's normal.

But it could be other things too. I'm interested in the responses here because my 4 1/2 year old is a bit of a complainer, not specifically related to gymnastics. I'm thinking about taking her to the doctor because she has been complaining about a tummy ache for a few weeks now.. maybe she has food allergies? Or maybe she's just making it up. 2 weeks ago she really didn't feel well, she wasn't eating much and then one night she woke up at midnight & vomited... now she seems fine, she eats fine and runs around all over the place, but she still complains about her tummy ache. It's so hard to know what's real, what's imagined, what's from anxiety, and what's completely made up for attention! I can only guess it's going to get worse as she gets older. The thing is, aside from these complaints DD has a sunny personality and doesn't complain much- I wonder if this is her way of getting her complaints out that she otherwise doesn't voice. Her way of *not* being little miss sunshine all the time, fighting against the role that she is being pushed into (because her younger sister is really the squeaky wheel getting all the grease- she is much more difficult in general). I don't know. These are just some thoughts I've had about my own daughter- might relate to domalley's 6 year old too.

 

[OzZee]

Did she complain of these sort of things before gymnastics? My eldest always complained when she was little and I remember even taking her to the doctor about it after a year or more of constant complaining about her knee (aged 3ish). The doctor agreed she was just a hypochondriac, lol.
But now she's older and more knowledgeable about her body we know she really suffers from growing pains. So I think that's probably what it was.
But on the other hand she still likes to tell you about every single ache/bump she has, lol, just her personality. She actually surprisingly has a high pain threshold for all her whining.

But if it's new since gymnastics I'd wonder if it is to get out of some aspect of gymnastics. I know of a girl who is just like that, always icing something, complaining about something to get out of training.