Parents Am I overreacting?

[Mish]

At our gym we do have goodie bags; they are given at the States Party which is a night or 2 before states. The qualifying scores are pretty low to make to states (I think 32.5 for lv 6 in our state) so I can't remember a girl not qualifying. Each parent buys one thing to put in the bag and they give them out to all of the girls at the party (flip flops, hair ties, bracelets, etc.). The gym also adds a states T shirt. There are a few injured girls on the team who are not going to states this year. You can be sure that they WILL be getting the bag! It is more a celebration of the accomplishments of the year.

 

[SMH]

Our kiddos just opened up 'state bags' last night - they all get one, and every family contributes something small. Kids wrote notes to each other, they had small things like lipgloss, granola bars, pins, hair ties-
It was so much fun for them and I couldn't imagine being the one kid who didn't get one-
It was a nice little celebration/wind down time before the big competition. I was a little skeptical but I think it worked out great!

 

[Really]

In case anyone needs any articles to quote or cite about the harms of extrinsic rewards for something that gymnasts are already motivated to do (like their best to qualify for states): "Extrinsic motivators are best applied in situations where people have little initial interest in performing the activity or in cases where basic skills are lacking, but these rewards should be kept small and should be tied directly to performing a specific behavior. Once some intrinsic interest has been generated and some essential skills have been established, the external motivators should be slowly phased out." from https://www.verywell.com/what-is-extrinsic-motivation-2795164

 

[Mish]

^^^^^ Well, kind of. This is my field of work (behavior analysis). But, these gifts were not extrinsic motivators, they are just fun party gifts!!! Extrinsic motivators would mean that we expect their behavior to change based on the promise of the gift. This is not the case.

 

[Really]

^^^^^ Well, kind of. This is my field of work (behavior analysis). But, these gifts were not extrinsic motivators, they are just fun party gifts!!! Extrinsic motivators would mean that we expect their behavior to change based on the promise of the gift. This is not the case.

But are they intended to motivate the girls who did not make states to somehow do better/work harder in the future? Maybe not in the case of the OP, but it sounds like something that other gyms are doing.

 

[suebee]

Totally agree with Mish! I doubt any girl is working hard all season long, thinking, "If I make States, I'll get a goody bag with lip gloss and hair ties in it!" The gift bag is just a fun thing - not the motivation.

 

[Mish]

But are they intended to motivate the girls who did not make states to somehow do better/work harder in the future? Maybe not in the case of the OP, but it sounds like something that other gyms are doing.

I can't imagine that other gyms are using these as motivation, ours certainly would not. This would not be a motivator for any gymnast I know! But they do enjoy getting the goodies and eating some pizza with their friends.

 

[notthatmom]

We do foodie bags at our gym for meets. The main focus of them is a water bottle and a snack for them to have while they're sitting around at awards and starving because they just competed for 4 hours.

We also do end of the season bags...for EVERYONE to congratulate them on their hard work during the season....it's basically just a bag of trinkets that each parent contributes (if they want to, it's not mandatory, but every kid gets a bag regardless of whether or not their parent contributed something) as well as a big gift (like a leo or new gym bag) that each parent pays for for their child (again, totally optional)

I think it's fun for the girls, they deserve recognition for their hard work, and in this case I'm fine with it being looked at as "everyone deserves a trophy" because after all their hard *** work during the year, they deserve a few trinkets and treats for what they do!

 

[Really]

I can't imagine that other gyms are using these as motivation, ours certainly would not. This would not be a motivator for any gymnast I know! But they do enjoy getting the goodies and eating some pizza with their friends.

My DD's gym doesn't use goody bags per se, but they use candy as a motivator: in L2, they handed out candy to the girls who had memorized their routines, and it's continued to L3. For example, everyone who does a skill with straight legs gets a candy; if you do your vault with a straight body, you get a candy, etc. I find it rather concerning and while I've never heard of them giving goody bags for qualifying to a meet, it would seem consistent with their philosophy of handing out candy to pre-team and compulsory level girls so I wouldn't be surprised if they did.

 

[mommyof1]

My DD's gym doesn't use goody bags per se, but they use candy as a motivator: in L2, they handed out candy to the girls who had memorized their routines, and it's continued to L3. For example, everyone who does a skill with straight legs gets a candy; if you do your vault with a straight body, you get a candy, etc. I find it rather concerning and while I've never heard of them giving goody bags for qualifying to a meet, it would seem consistent with their philosophy of handing out candy to pre-team and compulsory level girls so I wouldn't be surprised if they did.

My daughter's coach uses uptraining as a motivator. If you do this skill correctly ten times, then you get to go work on this fun new skill. So much better than candy! The whole group does very rarely get ice cream or candy for achieving a team goal (in practice, not related to meets).

 

[josie55]

My gymnast's older sister sometimes gets a bit jealous of all of the swag that her sister brings home. From meet gifts, to team gear, to big/little sister gifts, to things that the girls give to everyone in their training group (holidays, good luck, etc.) it ends up being a lot of swag. Other than the meet gifts and team gear, it's all kid-driven and mostly little things like candy and such, though sometimes someone will be particularly generous and my kid will come home with a "goodie box" or more substantial gift. It's funny b/c the older/slightly jealous sister will say things like: "I am kind of envious of all of the stuff that she gets from gymnastics, but I wouldn't want to do all of the work that she does/spend all of those hours in the gym, so I'm not really that jealous."

 

[gymnastics24.7]

That's just so wrong, especially for a mother to do. If she were to give them out she should just give them out at state. Otherwise, she should give them out to everyone or no one.

 

[ProudMomOf2]

[emoji33] She sounds like she might possibly live vicariously through her DD. I know it would really bother me if I saw this around our gym. I know our coaches or our gym wouldn't tolerate this kind of behavior. We have strict rules where my DDs go. I don't post much but usually only browse. But when I see posts like this I am just astonished at the audacity this mom has and how disgusting the behavior it is. Wonder if she needs to get talked to again. Disturbing.

 

[ProudMomOf2]

Could be a long time member who opened a new account just to anonymously reply to this thread.

Yup! [emoji854][emoji846][emoji854][emoji846]

 

[gracyomalley]

Giving goodie bags to just those who made state would have fine if they had been handed out at the meet, but to hand them out in front of everyone at practice is rude and unnecessary.

this - a simple answer, no drama, no hurt feelings. Really, doing it in front of those not included is just bad "adulting"