Parents BWO on beam fear

[MabelSt]

It is especially tough when the skill seems to be coming easily to teammates. In the case of my DD, her feelings of shame and embarrassment are equal to the actual fear of the skill itself. She said everyone thinks she is a "baby" - but admitted nobody had actually called her that. I think this is fueling the avoidance behavior. She doesn't want anyone to see her struggle!

That's a small thing to base this on- but I'dhave to wonder about the culture at the gym if that's how she feels.

 

[CLgym]

That's a small thing to base this on- but I'dhave to wonder about the culture at the gym if that's how she feels.

I would generally agree with you, and there is no question her coaches can be firm. But I've never seen anything to raise a concern. Also, my DD's personality explains a lot of her thinking. She puts a tremendous amount of pressure on herself to be 'perfect' (she recently cried hysterically because she got her first B on a math quiz), and is embarrassed easily (doesn't even want us to sing happy birthday to her!). She is a pleaser that likes to fly under the radar. Unfortunately, this BWO situation is neither pleasing to her coach nor allowing her to avoid attention.

 

[CCGymbug]

I have not read the responses but check my thread where parents hung me up and beat me for my frustration.
Dd....I will call her bean has a strong aversion to the BWO. She scored out of 5 but fell during her attempt. That was about a month ago. She is same, mats have to be a certain way. Low beam she will do but requires spot or falls any other time.
My kid is already flipping Tsueks on vault, giants with spot and layouts on the floor. It has been a very slow painful process.
I STUB my toes daily on the beam in my living room that she does not use but won't let me remove. I talk about her new emerging skills on the other events but do not discuss beam.
Yesterday, she told me it was a good beam day. I do not think I have ever heard that before, ever! She was able to get to the middle beam and feel successful. She still has a long way to go and I assume beam will continue to hold her back but she smiled when she talked about her day and beam!!!!! Will she go back to a struggle next practice? Most likely but she was able to have a small success.
If she is skipping stations she is uncomfortable and the coaches are not addressing it if they are showing frustration. Talk to them. My beam has never 1 time ever mentioned the word or a change of course even when I thought maybe she should if she could not face the fear. I have been told by other parents that kids can work through it and be successful. She should be somewhere where she feels good about herself. I always say speak up to coach and see how they respond. Good luck and I am happy to commiserate!
I did what everyone told me. Stopped pushing, talking etc as well as not even watching the last few mins so that she won't see my frustration. Good luck!

 

[CLgym]

@consig - Thanks for directing me to your post. Very helpful (and I hadn't found it in my searches). Sounds like you were seeing a lot of the same avoidance behaviors as me -- it is super frustrating to see DD just sitting around or strategically avoiding things. Will have to re-read some of the responses to your post every time I'm finding it hard to bite my tongue!!

 

[CCGymbug]

Trust me, I was shredded but for good reason and honestly, I wrote it knowing it would happen but needed an outlet for my frustration. Good coaches paying attention will notice the avoidance. They most likely know why. I felt some of beans was just being stubborn as well. But I sucked it up and disconnected from it and let whatever happens, happens. If she is not slacking on other events I would say it is more of a fear issue. I actually think my bean will do better when she does aerials but maybe she won't do them either.