WAG CGMs be gone

[LindyHopper]

We've been at our gym for 3.5 years. 2 of those years have been with the team. Thankfully, we have very few if any CGMS. Everyone tries to be supportive of their own and each other's girls. That, and we all tend to trust that our coaches know what they're doing.

So today was the first practice of the new season. Our optional practice overlaps by a half hour with our compulsory practice. Well, our team has grown significantly, and there were a lot of new girls and their parents.

When the Optional practice ended, one of the new girls came out to her mom, who was immediately on her case "Why did you waste a whole hour on bars? Why didn't you do X skill? Did they know you can do X skill? Did you tell them you can do X skill? Did you ASK to do X skill? Then you need to tell them to move you to a group that you can do X skill." This poor girl looked miserable. She had just walked out of a 4-hour practice with new coaches and new teammates in a new gym to be berated by her mother.

I didn't say anything, but I really wanted to turn around and say "if you are so unsatisfied with the coaching your daughter is getting after just ONE practice, then please, find another gym. We don't need your kind of attitude here".

I feel better now that I've vented to people who will understand. Hopefully she's the only one. I really hope the rest of the new parents aren't like her.

 

[GymMom4]

Yikes!

 

[notthatmom]

Oh how horrendous! We actually have it in our handbook that comments/behavior like this is absolutely not allowed, and is terms for potential removal from the program.
It's moms like this that make gyms put rules like this in place in the first place.
Being a former athlete, I know how damaging comments from a parent like this can be (which is why my daughter isn't a figure skater, lol I know the sport way too well, and I feel like I'd find myself harshly judging my child on her practices) the only thing I ask my daughter after practice is "what do you think was the best thing you did today?" That leaves it open for her own critique, not mine....because mine doesn't matter, and it gives her the chance to praise herself for a job well done.
Sounds like this mom is WAY too invested in her child's sport, and possibly living vicariously through her... Those comments are damaging, and someone needs to put that mom in her place. If that's how she talks to her at the gym in front of people, I can only imagine what happens at home.
Coaches are for coaching, parents are for parenting, she needs to learn the difference.
Poor kid.


Edited because: autocorrect, my phone thinks I am trying to type words that make no sense.

 

[Gymmommy71]

I'm really curious - what was the skill?

 

[LindyHopper]

I'm really curious - what was the skill?

I honestly have no idea. I could only eavesdrop so much. Trust me, I am just as curious.

 

[raenndrops]

WOW! The worst CGM we ever had complained from the very first practice that we didn't do enough conditioning… and her daughter needed to be on bars more because she didn't have her kip… and she needed more time on beam because SHE FALLS OFF sometimes… That they came from a "TOPS team" and on and on and on. Her daughter was trying to move up to Old L5 after scoring 34s in L4..
We only practice 2.5 hours a day.
She came at the beginning of May that year - May is the "fun month" - levels don't exist… skill clubs do. She was in Kip Club, "Big" vault club, Beam Cartwheel club, and a club that worked on floor tumbling.
The previous practice, they had done a conditioning challenge for more than half the practice.

The girl lasted almost a month. Then she quit to "focus on dance," lol.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I'm owning it- I'm a CGM. I've, in the past, asked my DD why she doesn't tell her coach that she has certain skills. Her coaches won't know till she tells them and she gets frustrated with working progressions to a skill she already has. Her coaches actively want kids to try and throw things, and they want kids to tell them what they can do or what they want to do. My DD is ridiculously shy. She needs to be pushed out of her shell or she'll be miserable in the shadows forever. That's just me, my DD, and her (T&T) gym.. But I own it, and I've done it.

 

[Flyaway]

I'm owning it- I'm a CGM. I've, in the past, asked my DD why she doesn't tell her coach that she has certain skills. Her coaches won't know till she tells them and she gets frustrated with working progressions to a skill she already has. Her coaches actively want kids to try and throw things, and they want kids to tell them what they can do or what they want to do. My DD is ridiculously shy. She needs to be pushed out of her shell or she'll be miserable in the shadows forever. That's just me, my DD, and her (T&T) gym.. But I own it, and I've done it.

I may not have said it out loud, but I've definitely thought it. [emoji4]

 

[Seeker]

I'm owning it- I'm a CGM. I've, in the past, asked my DD why she doesn't tell her coach that she has certain skills. Her coaches won't know till she tells them and she gets frustrated with working progressions to a skill she already has. Her coaches actively want kids to try and throw things, and they want kids to tell them what they can do or what they want to do. My DD is ridiculously shy. She needs to be pushed out of her shell or she'll be miserable in the shadows forever. That's just me, my DD, and her (T&T) gym.. But I own it, and I've done it.

Good for you for owning it ....

...but I also think it's a tad different if a coach is asking the athlete what they can do and they won't say vs what was described above. Hopefully your dd will build more confidence along the way and will share more easily. With a little prodding from Mom, of course!!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

It always makes me sad for those kids.

And helping a shy kid learn to speak up for themselves is not the same.

 

[Ali'sMom]

I'm owning it- I'm a CGM. I've, in the past, asked my DD why she doesn't tell her coach that she has certain skills. Her coaches won't know till she tells them and she gets frustrated with working progressions to a skill she already has. Her coaches actively want kids to try and throw things, and they want kids to tell them what they can do or what they want to do. My DD is ridiculously shy. She needs to be pushed out of her shell or she'll be miserable in the shadows forever. That's just me, my DD, and her (T&T) gym.. But I own it, and I've done it.

Oh heck no - that's TOTALLY different!!!

 

[sce]

Oh heck no - that's TOTALLY different!!!

I agree. I imagine too you did not have the conversation in the lobby right after a 4 hour practice.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I agree. I imagine too you did not have the conversation in the lobby right after a 4 hour practice.

Nope. In the car after a two hour one. This is like clue! Ha ha ha!

 

[Ali'sMom]

Nope. In the car after a two hour one. This is like clue! Ha ha ha!

Did you have a candlestick or a rope in the car?

 

[MILgymFAM]

Did you have a candlestick or a rope in the car?

I have a rope! CGM Clue could be fun!

 

[LindyHopper]

I'm owning it- I'm a CGM. I've, in the past, asked my DD why she doesn't tell her coach that she has certain skills. Her coaches won't know till she tells them and she gets frustrated with working progressions to a skill she already has. Her coaches actively want kids to try and throw things, and they want kids to tell them what they can do or what they want to do. My DD is ridiculously shy. She needs to be pushed out of her shell or she'll be miserable in the shadows forever. That's just me, my DD, and her (T&T) gym.. But I own it, and I've done it.

I've been reading here long enough to know that you are incredibly supportive of your daughter. You would be prodding your child to be assertive and give information to coaches that they've asked for.

This woman's tone of voice was ANYTHING but supportive.

 

[Gymmommy71]

Kids who are affraid to speak up and show what they can do because they don't want to be seen as "show offs" are really hard to train - haha. Mine does that sometimes.

Maybe the CGM was just frustrated cause she's new to the gym and she's worried that her daughter will get placed in the wrong group/level cause she is hiding what she can do. She still should have waited till the car ride home.

Of course, another possibility is that the kid really doesn't "have" the skill (but maybe did it one time out of 20 tries in a private 3 weeks ago and hasn't done it since ), but the mom delusionally thinks she does have the skill and was making a big rukus so that all of you in this new gym think the girl is better than how she looked - you guys probably weren't even paying attention or even cared what the kid can do (cause she's not your kid so why would you), but there are some gyms that are really competitive and all about status and maybe that's the type of environment they came from so she was trying to compensate.

 

[munchkin3]

Hi, Im munchkin and I am a CGM.

I fell off the wagon last week....yelled at my DD for not taking the coaches correction......immediately realized i sounded like an idiot.....

 

[munchkin3]

In all seriousness, we have a dad that does what OP wrote about.....Its so awful....He immediatly quizzes his DD, and second guesses her all the way to the water fountain, and then back to the gym......
I have tried to engage him in conversation when I see her walking out to try and distract him.......she will use alternative exits to avoid him.
He tells her stuff like, you run like a turtle, and why is it so hard for you to jump......painful stuff.....

CGParents all over...all you can do is try to be a good example....try to be the best 'sports' parent for YOUR child.....try to TAKE the advice that is so easy to GIVE....we all do it....the difference is the parents who realize their mistake.
This dad will never realize it. It is clear the kid will not make it much farther. The coaches know it too.

 

[Ali'sMom]

In all seriousness, we have a dad that does what OP wrote about.....Its so awful....He immediatly quizzes his DD, and second guesses her all the way to the water fountain, and then back to the gym......
I have tried to engage him in conversation when I see her walking out to try and distract him.......she will use alternative exits to avoid him.
He tells her stuff like, you run like a turtle, and why is it so hard for you to jump......painful stuff.....

CGParents all over...all you can do is try to be a good example....try to be the best 'sports' parent for YOUR child.....try to TAKE the advice that is so easy to GIVE....we all do it....the difference is the parents who realize their mistake.
This dad will never realize it. It is clear the kid will not make it much farther. The coaches know it too.

That stinks for that little girl

I remember a day when, at the same time, DD fell off the beam and so did CGM's DD. I jumped up and gasped (it looked like it hurt), and she just shifted in her seat and said "So, I guess this is what we're getting today" with a look of utter disgust. And sadly, her DD DID get hurt, mine just laughed.