Coaches child prodigy

[Leria]

As a coach, you may get this question a lot from proud parents, but…
If you believed your 4-year-old daughter might be a prodigy what would you do?

 

[CoachGoofy]

I'd step back a bit. Or a lot.

I'd encourage my child to enjoy what she is doing & make a concerted effort to not compare her to other kids out loud, or even mentally. I'd keep strongly in mind that kids go through significant learning plateaus & be ready for the day that she might not be a stand out. I'd make sure she wasn't being pressured to be awesomesauce, especially at that age. If I couldn't take the proper steps back to enjoy my hypothetical child enjoying gymnastics, I'd have to find a way to, because destroying that love of sport through extreme expectations isn't ok. It'd be her gymnastics, not mine, to enjoy on her terms.

 

[Leria]

Dear Coach,

In this hypothetical child of yours, let’s assume that your following all of Doc Ali’s top 10 Parents Code of Points and you do understand that this is a journey full of a range of triumphs and lose for your gymnast; your daughter is having a blast and your having a blast being her cheerleader; in public, you would never use the word prodigy and your daughter in the same sentence--there are a lot of shinning stars around her. But, in this forum you take a risk…is there anything else you would do?

 

[L9gymdad]

I'd leave her in the class she's currently in as they're doing something right since she's loving it. With my daughters I put them in a couple private lessons per week with a very technical coach. Try for a compulsory coach if they do privates. They started at 4 and 5 years old. Two 30 minute privates per week of 10 min strength, 10 min flexibility, and 10 minutes of one or two skills. They grumbled at splits at first, but too bad. I wanted to find out if they liked all the pretty colors and games or if they could hang with the harder aspects of the sport before signing them up for as many classes as they said they wanted to do.

 

[gymnut1]

I'd do nothing.
I'd be proud.
I'd make sure she had friends and activities (music, dance, scouts, church club, whatever something different) outside of gym.
I would insist on excellence at school.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Take a step back.

Assume she's not a prodigy.

Work from there.

Here's the thing: kids really pick up on a lot. Even if you're not trying to pressure her and even if you're doing your best to follow Doc Ali's rules for parents (speaking of which, anybody got a link to those?), your kid will pick up on your high expectations and pressure herself to meet them. She'll pick up on the fact that you think she should be doing better than everybody else, and that's a very damaging mindset for a kid to be in at any age, and especially at that young age.

Here's another way to look at it; if you get yourself in the mindset of expecting your child to be a prodigy, the best you can possibly hope for is for her to meet your expectations, and there's a very big chance she'll fall short of those expectations, which will be disappointing to both of you. If, however, you get yourself in the mindset of expecting her to be average and she really does excel, that gives her the opportunity to exceed expectations, and gives you the opportunity to be pleasantly surprised.

 

[nevertooold]

As a coach, you may get this question a lot from proud parents, but…
If you believed your 4-year-old daughter might be a prodigy what would you do?

I would research the programs in my area and find a gym with very experienced coaches and a reputation for taking the slow and steady path with talented youngsters. Look for a gym with successful gymnasts at ALL levels and ages. Sign her up and then stay out of the way

Many exceptional children are exceptional in multiple areas so I would also expose her to the arts, suzuki violin, piano lessons, and explore alternative educational opportunities that allow exceptional students to move at their own pace, Montessori, or maybe Waldorf if you think she is gifted in the arts.

 

[ek2]

I'd leave her in the class she's currently in as they're doing something right since she's loving it. With my daughters I put them in a couple private lessons per week with a very technical coach. Try for a compulsory coach if they do privates. They started at 4 and 5 years old. Two 30 minute privates per week of 10 min strength, 10 min flexibility, and 10 minutes of one or two skills. They grumbled at splits at first, but too bad. I wanted to find out if they liked all the pretty colors and games or if they could hang with the harder aspects of the sport before signing them up for as many classes as they said they wanted to do.

Private lessons at age 4 or 5 seems a bit extreme and expensive.
I think the only way you will know if your child has what it takes is to see how they progress through the levels and where they are at age 10. Prodigy's or uber talented kids will rise to the top if they are in a good program with supportive coaches.

 

[Linsul]

I'd leave her in the class she's currently in as they're doing something right since she's loving it. With my daughters I put them in a couple private lessons per week with a very technical coach. Try for a compulsory coach if they do privates. They started at 4 and 5 years old. Two 30 minute privates per week of 10 min strength, 10 min flexibility, and 10 minutes of one or two skills. They grumbled at splits at first, but too bad. I wanted to find out if they liked all the pretty colors and games or if they could hang with the harder aspects of the sport before signing them up for as many classes as they said they wanted to do.

Everybody gave the OP great advice, I just have to open my mouth at this post. Privates at 4 and 5 that include splits and focused strength are unnecessary; and have a high chance of being detrimental. The most precious thing a child has at that age regarding gym isn't talent, but a love of the sport. Love of it is also something that's easily destroyed at that age. When my daughter was 4 and 5 (shoot sometimes even now lol) everything was princesses and gowns and pretty pink pastries served from waiters atop white horses! When you think about it, there are a lot of mature themes in any structured activity that they are assimilating into a highly fantasy based way of thinking. They assimilate information differently than sets of leg lifts and forced splits.

Outside influences and coaches don't need to be hard on a preschooler. If there's progression in the program, that's difficulty enough. The kids get the message because it's delivered gradually, and at a pace they can physically handle. Their talent won't suddenly disappear, and they can keep their love of it intact.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

absoluuuuuuuuuuuuutely!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

[lilgymmie7]

My 6 yo DD is far more advanced than my older DD was at her age. Her coaches say she has talent, but as for being a prodigy- who knows. What I do know is that this little kid is so far more determined, strong willed, and just knows what she wants. I don't know if that's what makes for a prodigy in any capacity. What I can also attest to is that I don't really have to worry too much about her. Thus far, this hands-off approach has created a gymnast who believes in her own abilities and just goes for a skill. I have seen her stop before doing a skill that at the moment she didn't think she could make successfully. This takes smarts. I have been told she has remarkable control of her body for being so young. This little intricacy should carry over to the larger spectrum-life. To put it in a nutshell, she is quite capable, and all because we as her parents have let it unfold naturally.

Prodigies really come from a hands-off, no touch- natural unfolding of talents. Otherwise, we would be dealing with machines created at the hands of coaches and pushy parents. There are too many of those already. I hope I didn't sound too harsh.

 

[Leria]

Thanks all for you insights and wise words. There were a lot of helpful “take-a-waysâ€￾ from your responses, thanks for taking the time to express them.

 

[Leria]

Update

Just a quick update: We enrolled our DD in Ballet at the local Y and she loves it too! She just had her first performance and we were all there with video cameras rolling! We also joined another gym. It’s an elite gym and they have successful gymnasts at all levels. Her first class will be Monday. She’s still connected to her original gym, at least until we’re sure she’s formed a connection with the program and her coaches; also her first gym has mini-camps and tumbling workshops geared for kids her age.

 

[Coach.Simon]

Everybody gave the OP great advice, I just have to open my mouth at this post. Privates at 4 and 5 that include splits and focused strength are unnecessary; and have a high chance of being detrimental.

Could not agree more with this

 

[lilgymmie7]

I would research the programs in my area and find a gym with very experienced coaches and a reputation for taking the slow and steady path with talented youngsters. Look for a gym with successful gymnasts at ALL levels and ages. Sign her up and then stay out of the way
QUOTE]

Are there really a lot of gyms that believe in a slow and steady pace for those little ones with extreme talent. Youtube is inundated with sites that have little seven year olds competing some are at level seven and others being pushed through what I hear elite tracks and trainning 24+ hours. I am questioning WHY parents would want that for their child. My DD's gym is the complete opposite. It is very rare to see the young ones pushed on through the levels at DD's gym.
I just thought to put that out to see what I could find. Is your gym or DD's gym a believer of slow and steady?

BTW, I am not trying to bash anyone who's DD is on an elite path. As a mom of a little gymmie (I believe and her coaches do to) who has some amount of talent, I just want to 'wrap' my hands around that mentality.

 

[bogwoppit]

JUst a reminder that this is the coaches forum and the OP posted the question to the coaches. If parents, ot other non-coach members, want to respond to this question they should mirror the question in another forum.

Please check the stripe at the top of the forums before posting please.