Parents Choosing to stay L3 and not move up...

[gymmomtoo]

The gym has a right to expect all the girls on team to be there for the scheduled hours. If your daughter doesn't want to go that often and the gym doesn't offer other options, then it's time to either pick a new gym or try a different sport.

 

[gracyomalley]

I don't know if this is true for the OP - but those of you from big regions/large metropolitan areas, please remember that for some of us there is no "excel" option, or other good gyms to go to.

I agree that its a bit too much to "tell" a coach what level your kid will compete (up or down), or to EXPECT to have allowances made. It may well not have occurred that way at all - but I know that there are parents out there who come off that way...

It is very reasonable for a 7 year old not to be sure what's what, and 9 hours a week doesn't work for all of them. I've seen kids this age do 9 hours at DD gym, and I've seen them sit in pre-team (our L3 equivalent) an extra year until ready...even with skills, if the kid isn't bored. I would also say that most coaches have dealt with kids like the OPs DD and may have a strategy to keep her interested and see if the light goes on....as she sounds talented. It may be that they think L4 will help with that transition...

One of the "best" gymnasts DD trained with at age 7 quit after 2 months of team - about 8-12 hours a week. It was too much for her. Now at age 12 she can still do back tucks on tramp when she comes to open gym with DD....but its still totally not her personality to be competitive at anything. Her parents were sad to see her not pursue gym due to her talent, but it wasn't for her. She probably would have loved Excel.

It has only been over the years that DD has weeded out her other activities (other than orchestra). She had to find her own motivation for gym first (really just with conquering fears this year) and get to the point were she felt she had a solid social group there and didn't need as much other play time. She still occaisionally wishes to go back to ballet, have a horse, etc....but given the choice she doesn't want to stop her 20hrs a week at gym. She did do 12 hours at age 7 and 8, up to 16 for 9 and 10 then about 20 this year...we re-examined with the coach when other things came up (ballet, violin) and she did do an altered schedule a few times (usually when not trying to move up) to accommodate those activities. I have found that conversations with the coach were always helpful - at one time when I wanted DD to back off as I didn't see her progressing/wanted her to have other things - the 2 coaches steered us in the opposite direction, DD competed up that spring and it was the best thing ever for her. Another time the HC felt the opposite and was again rather wise about it. It pays to have a non-confrontational conversation with the HC and try to see what they see...

 

[gymgal]

Oh for heavens sake, come on everyone! She will be in second grade next year, right? Second grade!! It's way too early to tell whether she wants this long term. 6 hours a week and level 3 is perfectly reasonable for a second grader. find a gym who will let her do that and reevaluate after next year. Not very many second graders commit to than two days a week of any activity

no, it's not too early. Not for gymnastics. There will always be exceptions, but after a child's been in a gym program for a couple years, they know whether they love it or not. They may not know if they want to get to the highest levels, but they know they want to be there. And one who is complaining about too many days doesn't want to be there and is not loving it - not enough for team. That's why we all are suggesting a different route - find a gym that works better for their family. 6 hours a week might be fine for L3, but it won't be enough for up training. And that is beside the point. The team commitment is 3 days per week. She should honor that commitment. You are correct about most second graders. But usually we are talking about seasonal sports that are inexpensive. Gymnastics is different. It is too much money, time, and effort to allow a child to only half commit. And it's not just on the parents' end. Coaches too. Why waste time on a child who doesn't really want to be there fully?

I would say a 7 year old not wanting to do 12 to 15 hours a week is an indicator of a kid with a healthy perspective. I would say too early to pull her from JO, see how she feels after another year.

but we are not talking about 12 hours. We are talking about a child who doesn't even want to do 3- 3 hr days. She is not into it. She doesn't care about competing. why waste the money on another competition year? Wait for her to really want it and if that happens, then put her back in JO.

 

[CanAmGymMum]

I don't see a problem with temporarily reducing hours because a young child is not quite ready to handle the number of hours or the late ending time of practice, as long as this is discussed with the coach and he/she is on board with that decision. Also, if you feel your daughter can not handle the increased commitment with the next level, this should be discussed with the coach. However, I do not think it is appropriate to tell the coach what level your daughter will be competing, whether that means repeating a level or moving up. That is a coaching decision. And if there isn't a plan to ever fully commit to the team, you shouldn't be there.

 

[LJL07]

Some kids just can't make all of the hours. Gymnastics is not fair. It isn't "fair" that some kids get to just do score out meets while others have to compete an entire season at each level. It isn't "fair" that some kids pick it up easily while others work their tails off and struggle. But life isn't fair either, so people shouldn't stress about gymnastics not being fair. As parents, we are absolutely "in bounds" when it comes to something like the amount of time our child is in a sport. My 7 year old doesn't LOVE gymnastics, at least not as much as her older sister; but she really likes it and doesn't want to quit. But if she were one level ahead of where she is then we would have to do something to adjust hours. Because the level 4s go until 8:30 and there is no way that SHE can go that late. And for my other two, should we choose to do public school for middle school, then they will be having to have their hours cut a little short at the gym because gym practice starts 15 minutes before school even gets out and from school it is a 30 - 45 minute drive to the gym.

As for level placement, I again think that the parent should have some say. Especially when the parent is asking that the child go slower than the gym is asking. I can see the coach having final veto in if the kids move UP; but if a parent wants a child to repeat the parent should have a considerable amount of say there. It could be financial reasons, maturity reasons or simply that we know our children the best and know that sometimes they can't handle the hours. The coaches don't have to deal with these little kids the day after a long practice normally since practice is most often every other day at this level. The parents are the ones who see what being overly tired does to the kid through the next day. Well, the parents and the teachers.

Our current gym, while not as accommodating as our old gym on the summer schedule, is still very accommodating. They understand that there is an issue with the middle school kids' school schedule. Their start and end times are a compromise since on the flip side, the elementary kids at that level have to be at school very early each day and can't possibly go as late as would be needed if practice didn't start until like 5:00. For us, older DD does chorus every Monday. This has meant that younger DD has had to be late to practice every Monday because there is just no way to get her to practice on time and still pick older DD up from chorus AND get HER to practice at all. (sure, I could have older DD do after school program on Mondays so that she could just do that after chorus; but that would then mean that older DD would miss ALL of her gymnastics practice on Monday.) I'm sure glad that we have not found ourselves at a gym that is completely unwilling to be accommodating with practice hours.

Ok, there will always be kids with more or less talent who get to move up depending on skills. That is life. Club level soccer has different levels. Same deal. But if you are commuting to club level and not the rec team, you are expected to attend all practices. Period. Otherwise do rec soccer. It's more flexible. Same should apply here. It's not being a team player to have a special practice schedule from other teammates. The end.

 

[LJL07]

*committing

 

[CanAmGymMum]

"Ok, there will always be kids with more or less talent who get to move up depending on skills. That is life. Club level soccer has different levels. Same deal. But if you are commuting to club level and not the rec team, you are expected to attend all practices. Period. Otherwise do rec soccer. It's more flexible. Same should apply here. It's not being a team player to have a special practice schedule from other teammates. The end."

I agree with this. However, I would give exception to a 6 or 7 year old who needs a couple of months to adjust to the demands by easing into the schedule of team gymnastics. Some kids just can't handle it at first but don't need a whole other year of rec. or preteam before they're ready.

 

[raenndrops]

I do believe OP said that at their gym, rec all leads to team - no option of doing advanced rec (I could be wrong, but I think that is what I read). As for people saying that 6 hours would be fine for L3, but not L4 as there is not enough time to uptrain... She is only training 5 hours (I suggested maybe seeing if 6 would work - if she moved up to L4) and was able to uptrain enough in 5 hours a week to have her kip and beam cartwheel. The number of hours trained can be lower if wait time for equipment is also lower.

 

[3LittleGymmies]

I personally think that the gym did her a disservice her by allowing her to do such reduced hours in Level 3. Of course she can't make the jump to the Level 4 hours now. I think that the gradual increase in hours is a bit part of the mental fitness and endurance components of gymnastics. Even if she wanted to do the hours now, it would be very difficult to adjust to such a big jump, especially if she doesn't love it or isn't mature enough. In my opinion, 7 isn't that young for a Level 3 to justify such a cut in hours. A just turned 6 year old would be different. If she does not love it, it may be best to get out now. The commitment will only grow. My daughter has gone from 3 to 6 to 9 to 15 hours in less than three years and is supposed to be doing 18 this summer. She just turned 9. There are girls as young as just turned 8 doing the same on her team.

 

[gymgal]

I do believe OP said that at their gym, rec all leads to team - no option of doing advanced rec (I could be wrong, but I think that is what I read). As for people saying that 6 hours would be fine for L3, but not L4 as there is not enough time to uptrain... She is only training 5 hours (I suggested maybe seeing if 6 would work - if she moved up to L4) and was able to uptrain enough in 5 hours a week to have her kip and beam cartwheel. The number of hours trained can be lower if wait time for equipment is also lower.

that's why we suggested finding another gym that worked for their situation. But, yes, if there are no other options, she should be working WITH the coach to find a better solution for her dd.

I made the comment about not enough time for uptraining. It's great that she has her kip and cartwheel on beam, (though we have no indication where she is in her form on those or whether the cartwheel is on high beam) but i would expect her to already have them, given she competed level 3 and was expected to compete level 4 in the fall. I would not consider these uptraining skills (unless she had them before she started competed L3). Uptraining would be her level 5 skills and beyond. 6 hours at level 4 might work to maintain if she has all her skills and they are close to being competition ready, but there is no way she is uptraining her level 5 skills in that same amount of time (perfecting routines and uptraining) - it is just not possible to safely get all the numbers in. Think of the skills - bwo beam, flyaway, bt, all the conditioning, stretching, perfecting the L4 routines. Again, she may be able to get away with it in L3, because she now has a few of her L4 skills, but don't assume that the coaches will allow her to uptrains L5 skills. They will be busy teaching the new L3 their skills and routines. If she is like what her mother says, always wanting to learn new skills, she will quickly become bored staying in L3. That's why finding another situation where she can continue to progress in skills without worry of the excess that goes along with JO would be the best option at this point.

 

[gymmommy123]

I can't imagine 5 hrs/week for L4! My dd goes 12 hrs/wk for L3, JUST their conditioning each week takes approx 4-5 hours (1 to 1 1/2 hrs per practice for conditioning and stretching). I'd try to find her a great xcel program. She'd have a blast learning new skills and making up her own routines, and the hours would probably be less demanding.

 

[3LittleGymmies]

Agreed @gymmommy123. My pre- teamer goes more than 5 hours.

 

[twinklytoes9468]

.

My kid is not your normal gymnast. She is non-competitive and is there to learn new skills and to participate in something that she enjoys...............

She started out going 3x a week for 3 hrs and she hated it. She wanted to still go to brownies and play outside with the neighbor kids so.


There is no way she wants to spend 12-16 hrs in the gym right now & with summer coming up

...and there you have the definition of a recreational gymnast!!
.You need to find another gym with an advanc3ed rec class.I t is not fair on her team mates and it is not fair if she is taking a spot which could be used by another girl with more commitment

 

[annemurphy4]

First off, I certainly didn't mean for this to be a touchy subject so I apologize if anyone is offended by my original post. I am a new mom to gymnastics so all of this is very new to me. To clear up some questions:
I can't find another gym - it's the only gym in town (other than the YMCA that only goes up to preschool classes) we moved from Maryland to Minnesota and the next qym is an hour away. My daughter does like/love gymnastics - but not like some other girls on her team that want to be there for every open gym, every waking moment, all the time.

Our level 3 program is from 6-9pm 3x a week. L4 is 5-9 4x a week. I'm sorry, I think for some little ones, that's too late to be out and expected to get up in the morning for an 8am bus and be happy sitting in her school desk. What I'm having a hard time understanding is why some feel it's unfair or wrong of me to do right by my kid. I'm asking for her to be held back simply for the reason that she is in first grade and I want her to not hate gymnastics by staying too late. She's not taking someone's spot - everyone who is able to be on the team competes - it's not like basketball or soccer where some are sitting the sidelines. I'm wanting this to make sure she is ready mentally and emotionally for when she does go to L4 and the hours expected.

This is totally a whirlwind for us - she just was learning a cartwheel like 18 months ago and she's leapfrogged over a few rec classes to wind up on L3. Sure any parents loves to hear "your daughter is so strong/such a natural" but why do I feel like I'm a bad mother for wanting to slow down things...and why should I have to consider leaving a gym or a sport we love because she's not ready for the time needed for L4? I would think mothers and coaches would applaud that although she's ready physically but not mentally or emotionally.

Also, I pay the same rate as the mom's pay for the L3 9 hours, so I have no special arrangement at all - I'm shorting myself the money to simply ensure that my daughter continues to enjoy the sport she has chosen...and she chose it - I had no say in her path We have a strong committment to the team, she competed happily last fall, she was a strong, consistent L3 team mate, she did great at state. Her going for 5-6 hrs or 9 hrs didn't have any bearing on the other girls and their accomplishments/abilities at all...I'm just really confused at the backlash in wanting to slow things down.

 

[twinklytoes9468]

Well thank you for explaining.I agree that 9pm is very late for a child her age to be training until, especially if it is on several school nights a week.The gyms I have been associated with have run their squad classes for children under 9 from 4.30-7.30 and no primary school child stays later than 8.30 and then maybe a longer session at the weekend and having coached for several years I do realise that it is not the same as basketball or soccer, thankyou.But often there is a cap on the number of children in a group because of coach ratios, gym capacity etc

 

[wallflower]

I disagree with almost everyone's response. I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to tell the coach you would like her to stay at the low hours and lower level. I think as long as you aren't expecting her to progress as fast as she could or do as well as she could if she trained more and the coach is fine with it, then go for it.

Some gyms would not be okay with reduced hours, but plenty of gyms are. Obviously they are okay with it if they allowed it for this past year. Again I think as long as you understand that she will likely progress slower, then no big deal.

It would be different if she were a level 8/9 gymnast and you were telling the coach she wanted to only come a few days a week, but we are talking about level 3/4 here! It would be different if she were doing less hours and was not prepared to compete because of that and you were demanding she still be allowed to compete.

 

[raenndrops]

First off, I certainly didn't mean for this to be a touchy subject so I apologize if anyone is offended by my original post. I am a new mom to gymnastics so all of this is very new to me. To clear up some questions:
I can't find another gym - it's the only gym in town (other than the YMCA that only goes up to preschool classes) we moved from Maryland to Minnesota and the next qym is an hour away. My daughter does like/love gymnastics - but not like some other girls on her team that want to be there for every open gym, every waking moment, all the time.

Our level 3 program is from 6-9pm 3x a week. L4 is 5-9 4x a week. I'm sorry, I think for some little ones, that's too late to be out and expected to get up in the morning for an 8am bus and be happy sitting in her school desk. What I'm having a hard time understanding is why some feel it's unfair or wrong of me to do right by my kid. I'm asking for her to be held back simply for the reason that she is in first grade and I want her to not hate gymnastics by staying too late. She's not taking someone's spot - everyone who is able to be on the team competes - it's not like basketball or soccer where some are sitting the sidelines. I'm wanting this to make sure she is ready mentally and emotionally for when she does go to L4 and the hours expected.

This is totally a whirlwind for us - she just was learning a cartwheel like 18 months ago and she's leapfrogged over a few rec classes to wind up on L3. Sure any parents loves to hear "your daughter is so strong/such a natural" but why do I feel like I'm a bad mother for wanting to slow down things...and why should I have to consider leaving a gym or a sport we love because she's not ready for the time needed for L4? I would think mothers and coaches would applaud that although she's ready physically but not mentally or emotionally.

Also, I pay the same rate as the mom's pay for the L3 9 hours, so I have no special arrangement at all - I'm shorting myself the money to simply ensure that my daughter continues to enjoy the sport she has chosen...and she chose it - I had no say in her path We have a strong committment to the team, she competed happily last fall, she was a strong, consistent L3 team mate, she did great at state. Her going for 5-6 hrs or 9 hrs didn't have any bearing on the other girls and their accomplishments/abilities at all...I'm just really confused at the backlash in wanting to slow things down.

I understand completely. My YG chose to repeat this past season as a 9 year old, but HC had given her the option... and at our gym, practice only lasts until 8:00 M, T, R for all levels. Since we live almost a half hour away, we leave early almost every day... and lately, I am lucky if I get them to the gym 2x a week
The coaches should understand that she is not emotionally ready to compete higher. If she gets bored (as some think she will), she may decide to move up to 4 mid-season. As long as the coaches allow it, it is an option. If they really do want her to compete the higher level, then they need to be willing to make concessions for her age.
I know that YG needs 10 hours of sleep to "not be cranky" the next day. She has to wake up for school by 6:30 am at the latest. Unless she will be able to get a nap in the next day, she REALLY needs to be in bed by 8:30, but it is often 9:00-10:00 before she gets to bed... and a half hour to fall asleep. She is sleep deprived most of the week and makes up for it on the weekends. If we stayed at the gym until 8pm on a regular basis, she would be unbearable in school... or she would fall asleep more often that she already does (on nights she spends at her mom's house, especially).

 

[twinklytoes9468]

I really don't know what is the best thing to do in your circumstances.But I do hope that you can find a way for her to continue enjoying gymnastics without affecting her school life and other interests too much

 

[Natasha]

We have 2 girls at our gym in first grade who competed L3 this year and came 2 days a week instead of the 3 days that the others came. I don't know of anyone who had a problem with it. Especially since you are paying the same rate, I don't understand other parents having an issue as it is not like this is a group performance (like in dance or cheerleading) where it affects the group. I would think that if anything, it would just make a smaller coach/gymnast ratio and more turns on the equipment for the ones that are there.
Now that I read your 2nd post, I agree with you even more that you should be able to say hey, we need to slow down. My dd was not ready to handle practices ending at 9pm until 6th grade and even now as an 8th grader she has trouble sometimes with the constant late nights.
I also disagree with blanket statements that L3 and L4 girls need 9 and 12 hours to succeed. My dd just made L8 state team (3rd out of all L8's in the state). Back in L4 (now L3) she trained 6 hours a week. In L5 she trained 7 hours. The small number of hours weren't by choice, it was just what her gym did at the time.
Obviously your dd has talent if she is in 1st grade, has her kip and cartwheel on beam, had a successful L3 year and is only training 5 hours. I am sure the gym would love to have her in the gym for more hours because they see lots of potential. But your job as a mom is to look at what is best for your kid period, not just what is best for her gymnastics.
I also understand the dilemma of having no other gym choice. I hope your gym will work with you so that your dd can continue to enjoy the sport for as long as she wants to do it.

 

[LJL07]

"Ok, there will always be kids with more or less talent who get to move up depending on skills. That is life. Club level soccer has different levels. Same deal. But if you are commuting to club level and not the rec team, you are expected to attend all practices. Period. Otherwise do rec soccer. It's more flexible. Same should apply here. It's not being a team player to have a special practice schedule from other teammates. The end."

I agree with this. However, I would give exception to a 6 or 7 year old who needs a couple of months to adjust to the demands by easing into the schedule of team gymnastics. Some kids just can't handle it at first but don't need a whole other year of rec. or preteam before they're ready.

Yes, but it sounds like they made an exception the whole year or season. That goes beyond easing into that schedule. There are plenty of times when I have felt like bailing on 3 hr practice or DD was tired, but our gym wouldn't make an exception like that. It sounds entitled. Sorry, but that's how it sounded to me.