My kid absolutely loves the gym, but it's a lonnnng school day. She is tired sometimes, and I make her go anyways (not if she's sick obviously). But that's our gym's rules, and any time I tell her, "we don't have to do this if it's too much," she rallies and is eager to go. If another child was "missing" practice, she would for sure ask why that child gets to skip all the time. So, yes, it is the parent who makes the commitment. I agree that it stinks that these little kids have to do so many hours. I really dislike that, but apparently this sport is sooo competitive or the peak age is so young, that it's the expectation before the emotional maturity is there. And 9 pm is definitely so late. Literally , our gym and every other one I know of around here would say "too bad, so sad" if I asked for modified hours on a regular basis. THAT'S what this is about for me. Not who has what skills. Although listening to parents talk in the gym room, I guarantee that would be a complaint too. I agree it's given me a lot to think about it too. It's the only sport I'm aware of requiring so many practice hours of kids.
Parents Choosing to stay L3 and not move up...
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My kid absolutely loves the gym, but it's a lonnnng school day. She is tired sometimes, and I make her go anyways (not if she's sick obviously). But that's our gym's rules, and any time I tell her, "we don't have to do this if it's too much," she rallies and is eager to go. If another child was "missing" practice, she would for sure ask why that child gets to skip all the time. So, yes, it is the parent who makes the commitment. I agree that it stinks that these little kids have to do so many hours. I really dislike that, but apparently this sport is sooo competitive or the peak age is so young, that it's the expectation before the emotional maturity is there. And 9 pm is definitely so late. Literally , our gym and every other one I know of around here would say "too bad, so sad" if I asked for modified hours on a regular basis. THAT'S what this is about for me. Not who has what skills. Although listening to parents talk in the gym room, I guarantee that would be a complaint too. I agree it's given me a lot to think about it too. It's the only sport I'm aware of requiring so many practice hours of kids.
- Aug 17, 2011
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I have mixed feelings. I agree committing to team is committing, and you should do your best to attend practice as asked.
However. I do think we ask a lot of kids to do a lot of hours at too young an age. I agree the higher levels need a minimum to keep up with conditioning and the harder skills, but for compulsory levels do we really need 15-20 hours a week? I thought we had left the 80's where training was just more, more, more, and you weren't allowed to do anything other than gymnastics.
So for the O/P, I agree. 9 pm is too late for a 7 year old. Really, the gym needs to address its schedule for lower levels where you'll find younger gymnasts. 9 hours isn't too much, but for that age group they'd be better with a longer weekend practice and earlier weekday finishes. So I do think that leaving early is an acceptable compromise if you and the gym agree. If you want to continue with their schedule for another year then I can't see the problem there either, especially if they continue with the 9pm finishes.
Unless your kid is being fast tracked elite I don't see why they can't have a bit of life balance and do other things. I was one who asked for lower hours (15 down to 12 for level 4-ish)- was refused. I would have accepted any terms- no competing, moving down a group or level, but now my child no longer does gymnastics, even though she did love it.
However. I do think we ask a lot of kids to do a lot of hours at too young an age. I agree the higher levels need a minimum to keep up with conditioning and the harder skills, but for compulsory levels do we really need 15-20 hours a week? I thought we had left the 80's where training was just more, more, more, and you weren't allowed to do anything other than gymnastics.
So for the O/P, I agree. 9 pm is too late for a 7 year old. Really, the gym needs to address its schedule for lower levels where you'll find younger gymnasts. 9 hours isn't too much, but for that age group they'd be better with a longer weekend practice and earlier weekday finishes. So I do think that leaving early is an acceptable compromise if you and the gym agree. If you want to continue with their schedule for another year then I can't see the problem there either, especially if they continue with the 9pm finishes.
Unless your kid is being fast tracked elite I don't see why they can't have a bit of life balance and do other things. I was one who asked for lower hours (15 down to 12 for level 4-ish)- was refused. I would have accepted any terms- no competing, moving down a group or level, but now my child no longer does gymnastics, even though she did love it.
I have to admit I am kind of shocked at all the outrage over this. DD is at what I would consider a pretty intense gym, and kids miss. Some don't come the whole training time, some leave early or whatever. I could really care less what they are doing. (and I am not saying this in a mean way at all). The reality is that sooner or later missing the training time will have an effect on the child in their gymnastics. If that doesn't matter to that parent/ child, well IMHO have at it! I mean, (especially at this age/ stage) we are talking about an extracurricular activity for a 7 year old. Mom is paying the same as everyone, the child has the same opportunity to train as everyone. My DD can tell you right away who "doesn't care" (her words) as much as other kids about gym. When they miss, she doesn't mind- that is THEIR choice. HERS is to be there. 
If the coaches are going along with this, I am not quite sure why anyone would care. JMO.
If the coaches are going along with this, I am not quite sure why anyone would care. JMO.
raenndrops
Coach
- Oct 24, 2009
- 7,095
- 7,415
Again... I have to say that I love our gym. Max of 7.5 hours a week. They understand there are other things in life than just gym.
With these short hours (and girls leaving for Girl Scouts or cheer or soccer or dance or whatever else they are involved it) we are still competitive in our league and even at YMCA Nationals (yes, they have fairly low MINIMUM requirements to qualify, but to place, depending on level and age group, it can be tough)... the top 1/3 of each age group places... and there are only 3 age groups (evenly divided)... so only 1/9 of the competitors will place. In the last 3 years, we had 67 gymnasts compete (some repeats... 21, 24, and 22 gymnasts)... 39 event placements (including 5 1st place events, 1 2nd place event, and 5 3rd place events)... and 6 AA Placements (including an AA Champion).
We went against teams that also compete in USAG Meets and practice as many hours as private clubs... and some of our girls beat them!
As long as the coaches are on board, OP is doing nothing wrong in looking out for her daughter's best interests. She is aware that losing this time affects her daughter's skill acquisition and development. The coach has been on board for the past year, seems like they don't have a problem with it.
With these short hours (and girls leaving for Girl Scouts or cheer or soccer or dance or whatever else they are involved it) we are still competitive in our league and even at YMCA Nationals (yes, they have fairly low MINIMUM requirements to qualify, but to place, depending on level and age group, it can be tough)... the top 1/3 of each age group places... and there are only 3 age groups (evenly divided)... so only 1/9 of the competitors will place. In the last 3 years, we had 67 gymnasts compete (some repeats... 21, 24, and 22 gymnasts)... 39 event placements (including 5 1st place events, 1 2nd place event, and 5 3rd place events)... and 6 AA Placements (including an AA Champion).
We went against teams that also compete in USAG Meets and practice as many hours as private clubs... and some of our girls beat them!
As long as the coaches are on board, OP is doing nothing wrong in looking out for her daughter's best interests. She is aware that losing this time affects her daughter's skill acquisition and development. The coach has been on board for the past year, seems like they don't have a problem with it.
- Jul 19, 2011
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I have also found this thread interesting in lig
Off topic a bit, but this is still 1/3 of the gymnasts
I say if your coach is on board, the go with it. That is the part that counts. But i do agree, that the problem isn't goign to go away, but she might mature and be able to handle it better. LEvel 3 seems like it would not be fun to repeat if you already have skills for the next level, and your dd may come to see that in time. Good luck to you!
Off topic a bit, but this is still 1/3 of the gymnasts
I say if your coach is on board, the go with it. That is the part that counts. But i do agree, that the problem isn't goign to go away, but she might mature and be able to handle it better. LEvel 3 seems like it would not be fun to repeat if you already have skills for the next level, and your dd may come to see that in time. Good luck to you!
raenndrops
Coach
- Oct 24, 2009
- 7,095
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shhhhhhh ... HC tells them that only 1/9 will get anything on any event because 1/3 * 1/3 = 1/9 ... that way, they aren't disappointed if they don't place on anything. she doesn't mention that 1/9 + 1/9 + 1/9 = 1/3Off topic a bit, but this is still 1/3 of the gymnasts
Other than Nationals, the worst we get is 12/27 placing (but we do not break ties in that meet and after a tie, we do not skip a place... so 1st-2nd-2nd, 3rd-4th-5th-5th-5th-6th... etc).
At Nationals, they break all ties
juststartingout
Proud Parent
- Sep 9, 2011
- 186
- 89
First I think the other gym parents should worry about their own kid and not your. Heck if one of dd's teammates wants to leave early dd sure wouldn't mind one less kid to share the coach with. I do think that you are lucky to have found a gym to work with you all season. In our gym they would never have a girl on team, no matter how talented, who couldn't or wouldn't do the hours. We had a girl who wanted to leave early one day a week for soccer and she was told to choose. Of course we have a lesser competitive route option for those kids to switch to so it's a little different. My only concern would be with being a fair competitor. What were her scores like this past season? If they were super high and she already has all the level 4 skills I don't think it's fair to the other competitors to do 3 again. If her scores were 35 or less or she's still missing some level 4 skills than I think she could stay and improve at level 3 and still be fair to other kids. Did they say she couldn't do 4 without doing more hours? Could she do 4 with her current hours?
cbifoja
Proud Parent
- Oct 9, 2012
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I wasn't going to wade into this thread but as I was reading this is exactly my main thought throughout the entire thread. But the OP never stated how well her DD placed at L3 and I didn't want to flat out ask so I was just staying out of it.
raenndrops
Coach
- Oct 24, 2009
- 7,095
- 7,415
According to the OP, "She has plenty to work on with L3 - she is like a truck driver with her gracefulness. That's why I was so surprised at her being invited to join L4."
gymparent22
Proud Parent
- Apr 9, 2014
- 5
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Oy. I am surprised at people's reactions. The coaches can't have had that much of an issue with leaving early or missing practices--they wanted to move the gymnast up to L4. I don't know why anyone would assume that girls are losing something because of this gymnast--but even if they were, all the better that they stay level 3 and give someone else the opportunity to move up. The child is young--I think 9 pm (figure 9:30 by the time she gets home) is kind of late for most 7 year olds! And if someone is at gym for four nights a week, it IS hard to do brownies (depending on the schedule) and other things. Why in gymnastics are people so intent on what other kids are doing (more so it seems than in other sports) and so intent on making sure that other people are "committed". The mom sounds committed to the well being of her child. There are plenty of people anxious for their child to move up ASAP, but the mom said there was plenty of things for the child to work on. There's no moral obligation for a child to proceed through the sport as quickly as possible.
Hmmm. As a parent, I don't care whether the other kids in my daughter's group show up to practice or leave early--in fact, I kind of like walking into the gym to pick her up and seeing half the kids gone so the few who are left get extra attention. My response suggesting that OP look for another gym was formulated from the perspective of the parent of the child who wants fewer hours, not the perspective of the other team parents--why pay for 9 to 12 hours and cause conflicts with the coach when the kid only wants to go 6 hours and does not seem to be interested in building up to the full hours any time soon? The facts that practice lasts until 9:00 (crazy at that age!) and that this seems to be the only gym around make it tougher. In OP's situation, I would probably be encouraging my daughter to take a year off of gymnastics and try dance, other sports, music, drama, etc.. She might find something completely different that lights her fire and has a schedule that works better. If she doesn't find something else she likes better, and realizes she misses gymnastics and wants to be there at least closer to the full hours, she can go back next year.
gymparent22
Proud Parent
- Apr 9, 2014
- 5
- 9
I should clarify--the suggestion of look for another gym makes sense to me. I just assumed it was possible that no such gym existed. I did assume the child really liked the sport, and that this year had gone fine, missed practices notwithstanding.
Maybe the gym coaches aren't as opposed to leaving her at L3 as they appear....they may have just been surprised.
What surprised me was just the tone of many of the responses, which spoke of commitment that should be realized by the age of 6, and entitlement. Kids can and do miss gym, and coaches or gym owners are entitled to kick kids off teams for that, or scratch them from competition. Clearly the coaches here haven't done that.
I think coaches get to decide when a gymnast moves up. I also think that if the schedule or the finances pose problems, parents can request that their child be left back. In fact, I'd expect some first graders to not go to L4 even if they technically "had" the skills--it doesn't seem that much of a big deal to me.
Gymnastics isn't fair, different gyms have widely different requirements for working out, and I'm pretty convinced that some programs that are supposedly many hours have an awful lot of goofing off built into those hours--and some programs with fewer hours work work work. As long as everyone is paying for the hours they are getting, I don't see the problem.
Maybe the gym coaches aren't as opposed to leaving her at L3 as they appear....they may have just been surprised.
What surprised me was just the tone of many of the responses, which spoke of commitment that should be realized by the age of 6, and entitlement. Kids can and do miss gym, and coaches or gym owners are entitled to kick kids off teams for that, or scratch them from competition. Clearly the coaches here haven't done that.
I think coaches get to decide when a gymnast moves up. I also think that if the schedule or the finances pose problems, parents can request that their child be left back. In fact, I'd expect some first graders to not go to L4 even if they technically "had" the skills--it doesn't seem that much of a big deal to me.
Gymnastics isn't fair, different gyms have widely different requirements for working out, and I'm pretty convinced that some programs that are supposedly many hours have an awful lot of goofing off built into those hours--and some programs with fewer hours work work work. As long as everyone is paying for the hours they are getting, I don't see the problem.
I'm shocked at some of the comments about a lack of commitment and suggestions that this girl needs another sport. This is a 7 year old! OP, I think it's great that you're looking out for your daughter's well being, that you're trying to balance her life with other activities, and that you're concerned about burnout. I think you should be able to do that while still letting her compete.
I have a 6 year old kindergartener (boy) who is only training 4 hours a week this year at L4, and depending on whether he moves up a level, we may be making the same decisions about hours for next year. The L5 group trains 9 hours a week, but I think that will be too much for him in 1st grade. Right now he is playing baseball. I really wanted him to play it this year because if he continues with gymnastics, the hours will increase and he may not have time for other sports. Also, if he decides he's done with gymnastics at some point, I want him to have another interest.
This seems to me to be another example of the striking difference between men's and women's gymnastics. On the boys side we are constantly hearing about the danger of early burnout. It seems so much more intense early on with the girls, and I don't think that's a good thing. And if anyone questioned my son's commitment (or mine, since I'm the one making the commitment at this point) because he wasn't begging for 20 hours a week as a 7 year old, I'd think they were crazy. If he continues to progress and wants to do it as he gets older, I'll be ready for him to increase his hours and cut out some other activities, but when he's this little, it's my job to make sure there's a little balance in his life. I'm so glad our coach agrees with this approach.
I have a 6 year old kindergartener (boy) who is only training 4 hours a week this year at L4, and depending on whether he moves up a level, we may be making the same decisions about hours for next year. The L5 group trains 9 hours a week, but I think that will be too much for him in 1st grade. Right now he is playing baseball. I really wanted him to play it this year because if he continues with gymnastics, the hours will increase and he may not have time for other sports. Also, if he decides he's done with gymnastics at some point, I want him to have another interest.
This seems to me to be another example of the striking difference between men's and women's gymnastics. On the boys side we are constantly hearing about the danger of early burnout. It seems so much more intense early on with the girls, and I don't think that's a good thing. And if anyone questioned my son's commitment (or mine, since I'm the one making the commitment at this point) because he wasn't begging for 20 hours a week as a 7 year old, I'd think they were crazy. If he continues to progress and wants to do it as he gets older, I'll be ready for him to increase his hours and cut out some other activities, but when he's this little, it's my job to make sure there's a little balance in his life. I'm so glad our coach agrees with this approach.
gymgal
Proud Parent
- Aug 22, 2008
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boys and girls gymnastics are completely different. Girls peak earlier than boys and therefore need the intense training earlier. Girls are pretty much done with the sport before boys are even reaching their peak. You don't want the boys to go lots of hours early on b/c they have so many more years to endure in the sport if they want to be at the top.
Ali'sMom
Proud Parent
- Feb 20, 2014
- 3,116
- 3,410
I have to say, reading this thread makes me absolutely love our gym!
In preschool and PreK, DD was in ballet. But she had SEVERE stage fright. she made it through (somehow) the recital in preschool. In PreK we talked with the teacher and asked if she could go for the year, and not do the recital. Teacher said ABSOLUTELY!!! So she had a great time all year, and didn't stress (i.e. throw up twice a week before the recital - yes, at 3 and 4 years old).
In kindegarten she decided she just didn't want to do it. (I believe she was afraid we'd trick her into the recital).
So, first grade, gymnastics. Within 3 months the owner (I would say coach, but I'm not sure she EVER coached) wanted her to move to pre-team. I asksed DD. Nope, no how, no way. I told owner. A month later she broached it again. I explained that she loved it, but she was not ready (mentally & emotionally) to compete. By May of first grade, this woman was confrontational. I told her then maybe we needed to change gyms, that I didn't realize (truly) that competing was mandatory, that I just wanted her to have fun. This woman kept at me. So, DD quit for the summer.
We found a new gym for 2nd grade. Quickly they asked about moving her to pre-team. I was prepared for the fight, but when I said "She really doesn't want to" and explained why, they were cool with it. She had an in-house meet in December. She cried and hyperventilated for two hours beforehand (which the coaches saw). But then she did great! When it was over, the coach asked if she was ready to compete. She said no. They said "Okay, we'll check again". In may (still 1st grade), another mini meet. She placed first AA. REady to compete? nope.
Repeat for 3rdgrade. Except she fell off the beam and realized that the world did not end, that nobody laughed at her, and that we were still proud of her (she's a perfectionist by nature). By the end of 2nd grade, we ALL (coaches, owners, me) decided it was finally time to move up or move out. We all agreed, after she did one meet, if she really didn't want to do it, she could quit. She came in first place AA and got the team trophy, and she was hooked.
If we had not found this gym, there is NO way she'd still be doing it.
It's relatively competitive, but it's small, and a little relaxed. HCs are phnomenal with her and with all the girls with approval and encouragement, and that's what my DD needs and thrives on.
She made it to States in December for new L3. Got a 7.9 on beam. Upon seeing the score, she looked to HC and asked "Are you disappointed in me?" and she gave her a hug and told her just how proud she was that she made it to states. (Only 7 of 20 had qualified for states based on our gym's standards).
After reading how some gyms and HCs can be, I'm very thankful for what we found
In preschool and PreK, DD was in ballet. But she had SEVERE stage fright. she made it through (somehow) the recital in preschool. In PreK we talked with the teacher and asked if she could go for the year, and not do the recital. Teacher said ABSOLUTELY!!! So she had a great time all year, and didn't stress (i.e. throw up twice a week before the recital - yes, at 3 and 4 years old).
In kindegarten she decided she just didn't want to do it. (I believe she was afraid we'd trick her into the recital).
So, first grade, gymnastics. Within 3 months the owner (I would say coach, but I'm not sure she EVER coached) wanted her to move to pre-team. I asksed DD. Nope, no how, no way. I told owner. A month later she broached it again. I explained that she loved it, but she was not ready (mentally & emotionally) to compete. By May of first grade, this woman was confrontational. I told her then maybe we needed to change gyms, that I didn't realize (truly) that competing was mandatory, that I just wanted her to have fun. This woman kept at me. So, DD quit for the summer.
We found a new gym for 2nd grade. Quickly they asked about moving her to pre-team. I was prepared for the fight, but when I said "She really doesn't want to" and explained why, they were cool with it. She had an in-house meet in December. She cried and hyperventilated for two hours beforehand (which the coaches saw). But then she did great! When it was over, the coach asked if she was ready to compete. She said no. They said "Okay, we'll check again". In may (still 1st grade), another mini meet. She placed first AA. REady to compete? nope.
Repeat for 3rdgrade. Except she fell off the beam and realized that the world did not end, that nobody laughed at her, and that we were still proud of her (she's a perfectionist by nature). By the end of 2nd grade, we ALL (coaches, owners, me) decided it was finally time to move up or move out. We all agreed, after she did one meet, if she really didn't want to do it, she could quit. She came in first place AA and got the team trophy, and she was hooked.
If we had not found this gym, there is NO way she'd still be doing it.
It's relatively competitive, but it's small, and a little relaxed. HCs are phnomenal with her and with all the girls with approval and encouragement, and that's what my DD needs and thrives on.
She made it to States in December for new L3. Got a 7.9 on beam. Upon seeing the score, she looked to HC and asked "Are you disappointed in me?" and she gave her a hug and told her just how proud she was that she made it to states. (Only 7 of 20 had qualified for states based on our gym's standards).
After reading how some gyms and HCs can be, I'm very thankful for what we found
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Midwestmommy
Proud Parent
- Aug 22, 2013
- 497
- 1,090
Gymnastics may be different, but 7 year olds are no more years closing to being consenting adults if they are girls. This sport needs to have a healthy perspective. This is why I am definitely not in favor of doing away with the age limits. They are there to protect little children. And there are too many nutters around to count on "self-policing." We all need to take a breath and get some perspective. I agree with the other poster. She's 7!!!! 7 years old!!!! Maybe fewer kids would drop out of this didn't get so nutty so early. Seven year olds are eleven years and light years of development away from being able to legally consent to anything. We parents need to remember that these are children. She should not be precluded from being a competitive gymnast at age 7 because she won't be there 12 to 15 hours a week. Heck, she may be more likely to still be there in 5 years than those going that much. And if she is really talented, doing 6 or 9 hours at age 7 isn't going to hold her back much in the long term. We aren't talking about a 13 year old, we are talking about a 7 year old. It's parents and coaches who are creating this environment, let's take care and reflect a little..... Gymnasts are kids too. They aren't little robots.
Midwestmommy
Proud Parent
- Aug 22, 2013
- 497
- 1,090
A little anecdote from another activity (dance). A while back I was at a dance competition where there were some really really huge intense competitive dance studios. During awards (9:30 pm or so if I recall) there was a tiny little 5 or 6 year old in the crowd on stage. This is during the part at the beginning where they play music and dance around a little. This tiny kid was just compulsively doing scorpions and then lifting her leg above her head (quite flexible). Over and over and over. What I saw, a tiny very exhausted kid who kept repeating the two things over and over which adults had given her "fabulous" feedback on because not too many that young can do those two moves so well. It made me think of a Pavlovian dog response, if people remember from science class. She just went back to that over and over and over because she was just so exhausted and hyper.
I just wished I could give her a smoothie and tuck her in to bed, I felt kind of bad for her. At the same time, want to know what the mom was probably thinking? Look at her, she is so talented (she was) and she just dances and dances and dances, it's so cute. But she wasn't goofing and feeling the music and dancing with "joy" like some of the other kids, there didn't seem to be too much fun in her face. And the 50+ scorpions (similar to a walkover) made me cringe that she was trashing her back. We all see something a little different. It's adults' jobs to remember that kids are kids and do a lot to try to please us when they are teeny, that's a huge responsibility for us and we should treat it as such.
I just wished I could give her a smoothie and tuck her in to bed, I felt kind of bad for her. At the same time, want to know what the mom was probably thinking? Look at her, she is so talented (she was) and she just dances and dances and dances, it's so cute. But she wasn't goofing and feeling the music and dancing with "joy" like some of the other kids, there didn't seem to be too much fun in her face. And the 50+ scorpions (similar to a walkover) made me cringe that she was trashing her back. We all see something a little different. It's adults' jobs to remember that kids are kids and do a lot to try to please us when they are teeny, that's a huge responsibility for us and we should treat it as such.
gracyomalley
Proud Parent
- Aug 5, 2013
- 944
- 1,347
I think its great the OP is trying make the best choices for her daughters longterm health and happiness.
I think its great that her gym is trying to do the same (although I cringe at 9 pm end times for ANYONE before at least high school age).
I think its rather disturbing that people think she is somehow hurting other kids. (although it may be that at their gyms there is a line of kids trying to "make team" and who makes it depends upon other kids choices - that's not the case in many gyms - kids move up when they are ready - some years 10, some years 16, some years 3...and I don't know for sure, but her gym may be in a more rural area, which is likely to make the "team culture" much more individually accommodating and, shall I say it, KIND...)
I also know that if she sticks with gym she'll have to change her approach eventually. Like about Level 6-7, and then really stick with it by L8. That's a long way for a 6 year old - even if its only 2 years - she will change alot. DD was selling girls scout cookies and doing ballet at that time...on top of school, violin, gym and playdates...these things have decreased as she moved up through gymnastics levels...DD has friends who leave early for school trips, dances, birthday parties, etc....DD shakes her head and says she wishes these friends wouldn't miss so much because she worries they will continue to struggle to polish their skills. I am pleased when DD gets more coaching time, and glad she is dedicated at L8 - because its really expensive and I see her sacrifices - I want them to be because SHE loves it/wants it enough...
I wish sometimes DD had the advantages of a more competitive area - but then again, I'm glad there are no parents counting up her hours and dividing by her skill set to see if she meets their standards!!
I think its great that her gym is trying to do the same (although I cringe at 9 pm end times for ANYONE before at least high school age).
I think its rather disturbing that people think she is somehow hurting other kids. (although it may be that at their gyms there is a line of kids trying to "make team" and who makes it depends upon other kids choices - that's not the case in many gyms - kids move up when they are ready - some years 10, some years 16, some years 3...and I don't know for sure, but her gym may be in a more rural area, which is likely to make the "team culture" much more individually accommodating and, shall I say it, KIND...)
I also know that if she sticks with gym she'll have to change her approach eventually. Like about Level 6-7, and then really stick with it by L8. That's a long way for a 6 year old - even if its only 2 years - she will change alot. DD was selling girls scout cookies and doing ballet at that time...on top of school, violin, gym and playdates...these things have decreased as she moved up through gymnastics levels...DD has friends who leave early for school trips, dances, birthday parties, etc....DD shakes her head and says she wishes these friends wouldn't miss so much because she worries they will continue to struggle to polish their skills. I am pleased when DD gets more coaching time, and glad she is dedicated at L8 - because its really expensive and I see her sacrifices - I want them to be because SHE loves it/wants it enough...
I wish sometimes DD had the advantages of a more competitive area - but then again, I'm glad there are no parents counting up her hours and dividing by her skill set to see if she meets their standards!!
- Dec 22, 2013
- 763
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My daughter (9) is moderately talented and has the potential (if not the temperament) to go pretty far in this sport.
I almost lost her at 7 and just turned 8 because her gym was requiring more hours of her and she, to quote her, "just wanted to go home and play." Here is where my lesson was learned and I hope I can pass it on to some of you. There was a brief period of time, and I'm not proud of this, but I was disappointed because I felt she was lacking something the other kids had because she wanted some time to just play while some of them were doing great with the increased hours. At 7! I recently found a note buried in my junk drawer from that time period that the gym had sent home that talked about increasing hours that she had written next to the new hours "I DOT WANT TO DO THIS!" Parenting fail.
Thankfully, I figured things out before it was too late, did a gym change (with no hard feelings with the other gym, at least on my end), and now she repeated Level 3, is working out less hours and likes the sport again! And she gets to play! And she is scoring 36s (most of the time)!
Her entire Level 4 group from the other gym has moved on or quit entirely. I'm sure that the kids that can handle the training at that age will move up faster than my daughter, but had I not reduced her hours to something she could handle, she would have burned out completely. This way, she may only ever get to Level 6 or 7, but that's a heck of a lot better than quitting at the old Level 4 at the age of 7 and never setting foot in a gym again.
I almost lost her at 7 and just turned 8 because her gym was requiring more hours of her and she, to quote her, "just wanted to go home and play." Here is where my lesson was learned and I hope I can pass it on to some of you. There was a brief period of time, and I'm not proud of this, but I was disappointed because I felt she was lacking something the other kids had because she wanted some time to just play while some of them were doing great with the increased hours. At 7! I recently found a note buried in my junk drawer from that time period that the gym had sent home that talked about increasing hours that she had written next to the new hours "I DOT WANT TO DO THIS!" Parenting fail.
Thankfully, I figured things out before it was too late, did a gym change (with no hard feelings with the other gym, at least on my end), and now she repeated Level 3, is working out less hours and likes the sport again! And she gets to play! And she is scoring 36s (most of the time)!
Her entire Level 4 group from the other gym has moved on or quit entirely. I'm sure that the kids that can handle the training at that age will move up faster than my daughter, but had I not reduced her hours to something she could handle, she would have burned out completely. This way, she may only ever get to Level 6 or 7, but that's a heck of a lot better than quitting at the old Level 4 at the age of 7 and never setting foot in a gym again.
I would suggest the parents having a discussion about practice ending so late (9 is late for most kids of any age IMO), AND what about a suggestion of making the third level 3 day optional. Our old gym offered an "extra" practice that was optional at the beginning of the season.
I see nothing at all wrong with wanting a healthy reasonable schedule for a 7 year old or holding back a level. The entitled part came from it sounding like she was the only one getting to do this, and I thought part of the point of her initial post was that the coaches were NOT happy and seemed "almost angry."
It's not even clear if there ARE other young children in this team group. Maybe they are all a few years older. I think though that the mother would be in a better position to get feedback from other parents and perhaps together they could go and respectfully talk with the coach about starting practice earlier/ending practice earlier, less hours for the little kids, etc.
I guess I envision team as being about unity, supporting each other, etc, and it seems like this behavior could be alienating to other families who might also want to take their 7 year olds home early to get sleep.
I see nothing at all wrong with wanting a healthy reasonable schedule for a 7 year old or holding back a level. The entitled part came from it sounding like she was the only one getting to do this, and I thought part of the point of her initial post was that the coaches were NOT happy and seemed "almost angry."
It's not even clear if there ARE other young children in this team group. Maybe they are all a few years older. I think though that the mother would be in a better position to get feedback from other parents and perhaps together they could go and respectfully talk with the coach about starting practice earlier/ending practice earlier, less hours for the little kids, etc.
I guess I envision team as being about unity, supporting each other, etc, and it seems like this behavior could be alienating to other families who might also want to take their 7 year olds home early to get sleep.
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