WAG Coach Posting Videos of Gymnasts With “Attitude”: Thoughts?

[Deleted member 18037]

The other thing that completely freaking dumbfounds me is this.

Grownups, parents too, in fact that might be worse. Seeing kids getting upset and stressed. And sure it might be trivial in a grown up world.

But kids upset, stressed. To the point of emotional overload and the grown up goes, boy let’s get this on video because the world needs to see this.

SMfreakinH

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Yes, she has. She is pretty open about her ups and downs.

Ok one point for her. She has control over her narrative though.

She loses a billion points for taking the minors narrative out of their hands

 

[Onodi]

Nope. Completely unacceptable coach conduct.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

USAG/Safesport (the powers that should be protecting kids) should provide rules for the use of Social Media by Coaches and Gyms. I realize some gyms do skills tutorials, and these are worthy pursuits. Perhaps parental consent is enough in these cases. But the posting of gymnasts on a public instagram/facebook account should be closely looked at. Our coaches have a private instagram account where you can request to follow, and they only accept gymnasts and parents from the gym. They post aquisition of new skills, with appropriate congratulations. They also don't just limit it to the best gymnasts, and generally post new skills for all of the gymnasts. A coach with 40,000 followers posting the way she does is way beyond appropriate. I don't care how "fun" she is or how good of a coach she is, or even if she has parental consent. What parent wants to be the only one to say no and show that they are clearly not on board with all the self promotion the coach is engaging in? Beside, it has been proven time and again that parents don't always make the best decisions when it comes to this sport. What on earth can parents be thinking posting their phenom 7 year old on their own instagram page for the world to see? Do they have no concern for the safety or emotional well being of their child? What other motivation can there be but promotion and exploitation? It doesn't help the gymnast perform better in meets or succeed long term in the sport. My picture showed up in a newspaper when I was 7 taken at a competition for a different sport, and my Mom received a phone call threatening to take me. Publicity for young children is not safe or necessary. Rules should be made and gyms should get their social media accounts under control. The public shaming just adds another horrifying layer to the whole ridiculous mess.

 

[gymbeam]

She has responded to to this thread on her Instagram.

 

[SMH]

She has responded to to this thread on her Instagram.

Well, I can’t say her response particularly made me respect her any more (than I did before/from the attitude cam).

 

[gymnastmom05]

Well, I can’t say her response particularly made me respect her any more (than I did before/from the attitude cam).

What was the response? (or a link?). I just recently joined Instagram and that was just so I could creep on my own kid! Good Old Facebook (what the kids tell me is for old people), is enough drama for me. Now I just follow celebrities (real ones, not social media/youtube ones) and my daughters friends so I can keep tabs on what kind of trouble they could be getting into! After reading this forum, I'm glad I keep myself out of the craziness.

 

[SMH]

What was the response? (or a link?). I just recently joined Instagram and that was just so I could creep on my own kid! Good Old Facebook (what the kids tell me is for old people), is enough drama for me. Now I just follow celebrities (real ones, not social media/youtube ones) and my daughters friends so I can keep tabs on what kind of trouble they could be getting into! After reading this forum, I'm glad I keep myself out of the craziness.

Basically-
I don’t have a problem you all worried about what I do have the problem - I’m amazing so you all mind your own business. In a nutshell.
it seemed a very flippant, dismissive and immature way to address the situation, in my opinion.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Basically-
I don’t have a problem you all worried about what I do have the problem - I’m amazing so you all mind your own business. In a nutshell.
it seemed a very flippant, dismissive and immature way to address the situation, in my opinion.

But not to worry- God is on her side, so she can do no wrong. It was a complete turn off and not very mature imo- if it is all one big inside joke, maybe it should’ve stayed inside and the account be private. Clearly the parents (at least) of her gym have drank the kool aid, so I doubt she cares about anyone’s opinion.

 

[John]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BokCa00FU6M/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=s2mrqhu9upf4

She makes some good points and some not so good Points. She has her opinions and I respect that but don't agree with them all. This world. Is world is made it is shaped by billions of individual opinions. Follow the ones you like and don't let the ones you don't like bring you down.

 

[Flippin'A]

I'm really tired of this narrative that any criticism of a coach is an attempt to ruin their life/destroy their career/sabotage their livelihood. She chose to post something publicly, and people are criticizing it. If this is an inside joke with her athletes, then she should have kept it inside. From the outside it looks ugly.

Gymnasts spend their lives learning to take criticism. We need to move toward a culture where coaches learn to do the same thing. This woman could certainly be a good coach, but that doesn't make her infallible. Good coaches can make mistakes. Good coaches can promote unhealthy practices. But good coaches are also open to the idea that they might be wrong. When someone is dubbed a "good coach" and therefore becomes beyond reproach, that's when we get into these situations where everyone's too scared to speak up. No one's assassinating her character. We're asking her to rethink one particular practice she engages in because from an outside perspective (which she has intentionally, willingly given us,) it looks like it goes against the well being of her gymnasts.

 

[jenjean70]

I'm really tired of this narrative that any criticism of a coach is an attempt to ruin their life/destroy their career/sabotage their livelihood. She chose to post something publicly, and people are criticizing it. If this is an inside joke with her athletes, then she should have kept it inside. From the outside it looks ugly.

Gymnasts spend their lives learning to take criticism. We need to move toward a culture where coaches learn to do the same thing. This woman could certainly be a good coach, but that doesn't make her infallible. Good coaches can make mistakes. Good coaches can promote unhealthy practices. But good coaches are also open to the idea that they might be wrong. When someone is dubbed a "good coach" and therefore becomes beyond reproach, that's when we get into these situations where everyone's too scared to speak up. No one's assassinating her character. We're asking her to rethink one particular practice she engages in because from an outside perspective (which she has intentionally, willingly given us,) it looks like it goes against the well being of her gymnasts.

Well said!

 

[gymnastmom05]

I read her response and can’t even say she has some good points. If her attitude cam was private, I could get behind her reasoning but it’s not. Also coming away from an emotionally abusive coach at our gym who still goes on social media to “condemn abuse in gymnastics” while blatantly ignorning her own emotional abuse she put on girls, always dismissing everything as weak kids or crazy parents (I mean after it’s numerous kids at more than one gym, the common denominator is her!), I just don’t always believe what I see. Our old coach has all of these supporters, but they support her by only knowing her on the internet and if they know her better, it’s never been as someone who worked alongside her for more than a short camp setting. Take it private if you don’t want people seeing it and raising some eyebrows. Maybe her girls love it. Maybe they feel pressured to love it because they don’t want to be the odd man out? Maybe people at school pick on them when they see them sad? Maybe they don’t but I purposely don’t put my kids in the position to be kicked down more than life already does on its own.

 

[3rd_time_around]

I'm really tired of this narrative that any criticism of a coach is an attempt to ruin their life/destroy their career/sabotage their livelihood. She chose to post something publicly, and people are criticizing it. If this is an inside joke with her athletes, then she should have kept it inside. From the outside it looks ugly.

That's because the first thing people do is start talking about reporting them to safe sport. That's beyond criticism, that's accusing. Criticism is "this isn't the best thing to post. I'm going to contact her and let her know this is in bad taste." That's criticism. Talking about reporting them to safe sport is a threat. Not everything needs an investigation or suspension.

 

[suds]

Safe practices- which include respecting the privacy and emotions of young people - have to be followed by everyone.

The point is to make safe practices so universal and common place that they are simply accepted as the norm so that variances from the norm can be seen as the red flags they are.

I agree wholeheartedly with the two statements above.

I would only add:
Equal to respecting the privacy and emotions of young people is respecting their personal dignity.
Just because something could be publicly shared, doesn’t mean it should be.

France has taken an interesting approach:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/wo...iled-for-posting-childrens-photos-online.html

 

[Deleted member 18037]

That's because the first thing people do is start talking about reporting them to safe sport. That's beyond criticism, that's accusing. Criticism is "this isn't the best thing to post. I'm going to contact her and let her know this is in bad taste." That's criticism. Talking about reporting them to safe sport is a threat. Not everything needs an investigation or suspension.

Not every investigation leads to a suspension. Investigations aren’t Necessarily bad

 

[Madden3]

That's because the first thing people do is start talking about reporting them to safe sport. That's beyond criticism, that's accusing. Criticism is "this isn't the best thing to post. I'm going to contact her and let her know this is in bad taste." That's criticism. Talking about reporting them to safe sport is a threat. Not everything needs an investigation or suspension.

People talking about whether the actions might be against safe practices as defined (or not defined) by Safe Sport is very different than threatening to contact Safe Sport. The former happened on this thread, but I am pretty sure the latter did not, but it is possible I missed that although I have read the thread twice.

Likewise expressing the opinion that something or other is "abuse" happens all the time here, and while I do think it is usually better to choose one's words more judiciously overall (abuse is a serious charge, as is character assassination) expressing the opinion on this website that some action is abuse or abusive is not the same as trying to ruin anyone's life or career.

As to her response:

She understandably does not like that people used social media to question some of what she is doing on social media. This is the precise disconnect about social media that leads to the attitude that it is perfectly ok to post video of children's behaviors on social media.

Social media is never entirely private and everything posted is at risk of being out of your control and possibly used against you, in context or not, for the rest of your life and beyond. I fear that many (most?) adults on social media do not comprehend the vast ramifications of these facts with enough depth and imagination. So, children should never be expected to understand them well enough to make informed decisions about what they post or agree to have posted about them or featuring them on social media.

But again my larger concern is normalizing and promoting the practice of gymnastics coaches recording children's non-skills related behavior. Posting it on social media is only part of the concern.

 

[Aussie_coach]

If she is talking about this website, no one posted it on here in order to discredit her or in hte hopes that Safesport would see it. If that was actually the case then it would have been reported directly to Safe sport. Her attitude is incredibly self centred.

 

[Learning Parent GB]

I have to say I was a FB follower. Then her very public rant at a parent o 24th July disgusted me. I am guessing she was hurt that someone was moving onto a new gym. That is natural. But her argument was inconsistent and her attitude was nasty. One of those things that we all need to feel privately, then have a word with ourselves. For the sake of the children involved. Because that is what they are, children.

Needless to say I despise attitude cam. I suspect that parents have given permission because they get swept up in all the public exposure. And there is lots of good stuff. But as a parent or a coach it is simply not acceptable to show people having a bad moment to mock them. We wouldn't like it done to us, so why accept it for our children?

 

[DebraNC]

I am completely grossed out by that coach. Bleeding and crying children shouldn't be mocked. Instead of taking some of the feedback and spending some time thinking about if what she's doing is healthy she immediately doubled down and pitched the equivalent of a toddler's tantrum "I DO WHAT I WANT".

I think this explains why so many children are left in abusive gym environments.