Actually most of my post I specifically used “I” not generalitied.
Generally speaking and I mean very broadly, not just gym. You specifically talk about abusive situations, which happen in many places not just gym.
And for that I stand by my statement. If you have your child somewhere where you feel you can’t leave them alone at all because you feel the situation is abusive. That should be a red flag and is a problem.
And a 5/6 year old is very different then 8 and older and those 5/6 are typically going less hours. When mine was that age practice wasn’t long enough to leave.
I really never had a problem explaining interactions to my child. I observed enough to get the dynamics, the coaches personalities and I didn’t have to there every minute. Just like we have conversations about the goings on at school, where I did not spend all day there even when she 4. Really I don’t know any parent whose child attends a school (not homeschoo) that actually sits in on every school day. And if there were issues, just like I did with her teachers, so I did with the coaches. I would have a conversation with them.
Regarding the Nassar/abusive gyms situation a fair amount happened with many parents “in the gym” And parents present.
I so agree with this, 110%!!!
When my daughter decided she wanted on an elite track, I started researching like a mad woman, it took me well over 6mos to decide where we wanted to end up(as soon as she could be accepted by such a gym, obviously). I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders in my choice.
Yet, once I made that choice, I haven't stepped foot in said gym, not once. I am confident in the choice I made(&they accepted her right away-but it was covid & things were weird, we were very lucky!! Yet they now say they are lucky to have her, im not sure that was the case the first 6-8mos). I text with a couple of the coaches(even fun stuff, we have a good relationship), I wave in the parking lot & exchange pleasantries. However I feel no desire to sit in the small gym and "backseat drive"/"sideline coach"-nope, her thing!!
Heck, they had a mock meet before the season officially started, I was FINALLY going to go in the gym. My daughter rolled an ankle the day before and asked me to stay in the car so I could instead see her routines when she was at her best in 2wks(at the first real competition)....and so I did.
This year she has again told me I am not welcome at the in-house meet, she said she wants to practice for the judges & get comfortable without me there....ok.
My daughter and I have a crazy close relationship(i have that with all 5), but for some reason she likes having something that is hers & hers alone. I only get to see things once they're perfected(or when she shares practice video with me). I accept this & don't worry about it too much.
We drive 90min each way, traffic then intensifies so if I need to head toward home, I am literally there less than an hour-despite a 6hr+ practice....so I stay. But I stay in the car, we go to a park(other 2 young kids & often one of the big ones), we do homeschool stuff, we go to lunch, we head to the library or Barnes & Noble. But I've never been inside the gym.
I also don't like drama & going inside invariably leads to being sucked into some type of drama!! My kid is old enough to walk herself in, walk herself back to the car when practice is over, she can take an envelope of money in, she can do all sorts of things....so I just park and wait.
My oldest has been in the gym-a few times(like 4x in 2yrs), because her sister asks her to come see something-or once because rec kids coming & going overwhelmed my austistic gymnast-but her coach didnt know WHAT was going on with her-just that she was not herself the second half of practice, so she went in to help figure it out(when the HC found out, rec kids were gone within 2wks & have not come back-again showing me how much i made the right decision, my daughter has the best coaches EVER!!). My husband has gone in to drop off money or lunch(I dont think he has been beyond the office, but i couldnt say for sure).
P.S. during covid the health dept was harassing businesses around here, so for ~8mos I sat across the street and watched for the health dept. Alerting the coaches of anyone that might be coming their way. This was 6-1/2hrs/day, 4days/wk...the irony? They showed up on a Sat and gave a violation(we didn't do Sat back then). Kids are not always great with masks during gym-and in some cases it was a hazard to wear them, so having advanced warning was helpful. When I was there, they at least had a 5min warning to make sure everyone had their masks on properly....so luckily only one such violation($500 still hurt, but the 2nd was $3k, & the 3rd was loss of business license....for a single kid with no mask-or mask not on properly).
