Parents Crazy Gym Parent Behavior (Yours or Others)

[Deleted member 18037]

The last time I got on the crazy for more then a day was when the girls did USAG (fall) and IGC (spring). So L3, IGC then to L4. Was a bit crazed the coach wasn’t letting her go to high bar For IGC routine. He was like this routine will score better. Stewed for a good 2 week. Then I had my light bulb moment. In a couple of months she was going to L4 and would forever more be on the high bar. I got off the crazy bus. She had a great IGC season.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

One thing that I have found, at least in my personal gym journey with my child is the CGP seems to be more pronounced for the lower level, very young gymnasts.

Not necessarily a true CSP parent will always be so, they just move on elsewhere. A crazy sport parent, is a crazy sport parent because they are in every sport.

Our gym had one who got crazier as the levels increased right into level 8 and brought a bunch of other moms right on the bus as well. The waiting room was beyond toxic. Always criticizing the coach, coaching from the waiting room. Kids pick up on that then, don’t listen to the coach. It affected the whole gym. The last season she was there was a nightmare. Finally left, she was planning on leaving but coach at our gym finally had enough and got to her first, in an ugly dramatic way to a “gym” that could give her kid the coaching she deserved. Her kid more then doubled her training hours. Yet she is still a multi year L8 like our kids. All those extra training hours boosted her scores by an average of 0.5-1 point. But they do go to fancier meets that require missing school. And in fact neither kid did states this year so I think they may be done.

I don’t spend a lot of time in the waiting room. But do occasionally like to chat with parents and see what my kid is doing occasionally. It was impossible for those last optional years….

We lost quite a few kids with that exodus. Which ticks me off. If you are that miserable with the place you are at, take your attitude and go elsewhere. Coaches are glad they are gone. They were like yeah will have less gymnasts for a bit, but there will be others coming…… not the first CGP.

 

[Deleted member 26368]

This thread confirms my suspicion that one of my DD's teammates has a CGP mom. Constantly has her practice at home (even though she says the kiddo "loves it"), documents it all on IG, is a leotard ambassador, etc. Mom is a former gymnast, too. Expressed concern that her DD didn't have a skill that mom could do easily when she was DD's age.

The kiddo is a first grader.

Sigh.

Does anyone notice whether former gymnasts are more prone to be CGPs than non-gymnast parents? I can say from experience that former football players are TERRIBLE crazy sports parents.

 

[Lucia]

This thread confirms my suspicion that one of my DD's teammates has a CGP mom. Constantly has her practice at home (even though she says the kiddo "loves it"), documents it all on IG, is a leotard ambassador, etc. Mom is a former gymnast, too. Expressed concern that her DD didn't have a skill that mom could do easily when she was DD's age.

The kiddo is a first grader.

Sigh.

Does anyone notice whether former gymnasts are more prone to be CGPs than non-gymnast parents? I can say from experience that former football players are TERRIBLE

So I’m a former competitive gymnast, and my daughter is a gymnast. For me, having been a gymnast makes me hyper aware of not wanting to appear to be a CGM, so I am prone to over-think things and hesitate to ask questions so as not to appear crazy. But I’m an older mom and have been seasoned with age lol. I also have a healthy skepticism about this sport because of my experiences, meaning I know the harm of over training etc. I used to watch practice some pre-Covid because the gym is a drive from our home and I savored the solo time, but with the current practice times I have my other kiddos so it’s not a peaceful break anymore . DD is progressing quite well, but I don’t post pics or talk much about her gymnastics with friends b/c I don’t want to be “that” mom....so I come to this anonymous site instead to get my gym fix and ask questions, haha! On the other hand, I’ve been following gymnastics for 35 years, and would talk Olympic gymnastics with anyone would listen over the last few weeks...I’m just now coming down from that My first real experience with crazy sports parents was last spring when my son played soccer for the first time. I was in utter shock and disbelief! Like, what kind of a rock have I been living under that I didn’t realize parents could be act like that?!

 

[MuggleMom]

We have had several moms that did Gymnastics in our gym and I didnt think any of them boarded the crazy train. Sometimes I think having more knowledge helps, I did gym too so I was impressed at how much faster my kid got skills than I did, I also knew about progressions so I know why little suzie isnt doing X skill yet---I feel like it helps you be a bit more patient.

I agree on some of the compulsory crazy though that feeling of being "left behind" can be intense and there are lots of group changes and smaller move ups in pre team through level 4 and I worried about that. Its easy to think "why isn't my daughter in the "good" group." All the groups were good and it was basically just like school...differentiated learning. IT was harder to not push to be in a specific group when thats where dd's friends were though cause she would get sad about that.

Glad I stayed relatively calm though because as the coaches assured me everyone ended up in the same place. Now I sit back and listen to all the pre team moms agonize about those little skills and move ups and how does this work and what does this mean.....I don't miss that lol.

I remember saying several times to parents I am not sure we are in this for the long haul...would I like her to get to 10 and stay in the sport through HS-- yes --but who knows what can happen. I had several of the crazier parents look at me like I was nuts telling me of COURSE their kid was a long hauler etc and none of those "long haulers" are around anymore so.....

 

[Deleted member 26368]

I remember saying several times to parents I am not sure we are in this for the long haul...

This is me. While my super laid-back DD enjoys gym and her friends, I fully expect her to say she's done any minute, LOL.

I had CGM tendencies in my DD's first year and I'm so glad sanity prevailed, and I found this site. Other parents on her team are surprised at my calm approach to gym (which, as team mom, is very helpful). I attribute that to the guidance many of you have shared here!

 

[Tmacs]

This is me. While my super laid-back DD enjoys gym and her friends, I fully expect her to say she's done any minute, LOL.

I had CGM tendencies in my DD's first year and I'm so glad sanity prevailed, and I found this site. Other parents on her team are surprised at my calm approach to gym (which, as team mom, is very helpful). I attribute that to the guidance many of you have shared here!

I agree. I think I was way more intense her first year… I was a closet CGM… never letting people know my crazy. Now I’m way less into her gym. I still enjoy it but don’t expect long haul at all… I’d be surprised if she lasted thru junior high.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

Does anyone notice whether former gymnasts are more prone to be CGPs than non-gymnast parents? I can say from experience that former football players are TERRIBLE crazy sports parents.

Generally I think it is not about if the parent participated in sport that matters, it's if they had their own sense of fulfillment from involvement in activities and their own achievements/happiness in life.

The parents that are crazy are usually the ones who 'were never allowed to do X sport/Sports' or were taken out of X sport because of parents or some other external factor.

On the reverse, the nicest most supportive parent who truly walked the talk of letting it be her kids thing.... was the one who quit her own sport after being selected for a world championship competition because the pressure from the coach was too great.

 

[ReluctantGymMom]

Guys share actual crazy people behavior or I’m going to start thinking I’m in an environment with legit sociopaths because 9/10 parents would kneecap your kid in a parking lot if they thought they were going to score higher than their kid, no lie the older optional parents don’t care with the exception of one, the rest of them just don’t want their kids getting hurt. Everyone else is straight up crazy

 

[MuggleMom]

I'll share one of my own crazy behaviors....I like to look up kids scores on Mymeetscores online. When I see CGP that get tons of privates, or extra hours, or change gyms because they want those things I am always curious if they go on and do better, the same, or quit so I like to go see the scores online. Or how the girls that get higher hours and the "homeschool" training do compared to everyone else. Its pretty interesting I would say most go on to do the same or quit. It kind of helps settle me into the fact that you just got to do right by your kid and there really is a small percentage of truly "gifted" athletes on an elite track that have the capability to make it to the highest levels, and I am ok that my kid isn't one of them.

 

[Deleted member 26368]

I'm fascinated/terrified by the "homeschool" gym option some of you have mentioned. Our gym doesn't offer it, but I can think of at least a few parents that would jump on it if they did!

 

[mom2newgymnast]

I'll share one of my own crazy behaviors....I like to look up kids scores on Mymeetscores online. When I see CGP that get tons of privates, or extra hours, or change gyms because they want those things I am always curious if they go on and do better, the same, or quit so I like to go see the scores online. Or how the girls that get higher hours and the "homeschool" training do compared to everyone else. Its pretty interesting I would say most go on to do the same or quit. It kind of helps settle me into the fact that you just got to do right by your kid and there really is a small percentage of truly "gifted" athletes on an elite track that have the capability to make it to the highest levels, and I am ok that my kid isn't one of them.

Oh, I'll admit it, I'm the same way. Whenever someone in one of those facebook groups starts talking about how their kid is a 7 year old training 30 million hours a week for level 10/hopes/elite, I always look at mymeetscores just to see. Or the ones on instagram with thousands of followers (they aren't trying to hide who they are usually), then you look them up and yes, they are a 10 year old level 9 (or whatever) but they are scoring in the low 7s and it makes you wonder, what is the point of that exactly? It does give me more confidence that we are on the right path for my kid and that is what is important.

As for real crazy gym parent behavior, I don't see that much in real life. I used to watch practice some before covid and you'd definitely here some complaining about favoritism or just petty talk, but nothing really bad. I haven't watched practice in over a year and a half now and barely talk to any of the other parents. It's kind of sad, but also kind of peaceful. Online though? Definitely a lot of moms on facebook and instagram that are completely obsessed with their kids gymnastics. I don't think many of them have a chance of staying in the sport though (not because of their kids talent, but because of their parent's obsession, the insane hours, inevitable injuries or fears and the extreme pressure) and I do think that by the upper levels most of the ones left have left their craziness behind.

 

[Lucia]

Guys share actual crazy people behavior or I’m going to start thinking I’m in an environment with legit sociopaths because 9/10 parents would kneecap your kid in a parking lot if they thought they were going to score higher than their kid, no lie the older optional parents don’t care with the exception of one, the rest of them just don’t want their kids getting hurt. Everyone else is straight up crazy

I must be lucky. Do you think it makes a difference what state/region you are in? I’m within a couple hours drive of some metro-area intensely competitive gyms, but our gym is in a somewhat small town. I wonder if the gym environment fuels this or visa versa?

 

[rjb123]

I think that if we all are honest, we will all admit that there is a TON of this behavior, even in the high levels. I know of a few parents who have high level children who are all over the internet and is literally off the chain CGP. I have seen the parent/ kid at a few meets and watched the kid cry on the floor, seen the parent yell at the kid every freaking time we happened to see them out and about and then post all over SM how amazing their kid/meet was. (My DD was like "yeah it was a great meet for her except for when we saw her running sobbing hysterically through the hotel! Or that time we saw her mom screaming at her in the lobby as they walked through") My DH actually saw it and his jaw just dropped to the ground. My DD has commented on more than one occasion how badly she feels for the kid because the parent is so clearly out of control and has no boundaries. Its frankly pitiful. And this is a high level, high achieving kid. I literally have gym mom friends all over the country who call or text and send screen shots of the insane things this CGP posts online. Like this person is KNOWN as nutty. so yeah, there is a LOT out there!

 

[skschlag]

I actually heard a mom bribe her son $50 to beat my son at state (12 yo). The kid did, so mom gave him $100 right in front of my kid...

Guess who is still in gymnastics and who is not?

 

[RTT2]

I've seen quite a bit of crazy parent behavior over the years- most do seem to exit the sport early, but from what I've seen the ones who start crazy stay crazy. One story that stands out is from L4 when there was a girl from a rival gym who was very successful at 3 and 4, and a couple of moms from our gym nicknamed her "B#tch Face" bc she didn't smile at all during meets, only when she was getting awards. I figured the kid might have been nervous, might be a kid who holds a lot in- who knows? But these moms always referred to this 8/9 year old child as "B#tch Face" and even took pictures of her at one meet and sent them around the parent group text mocking the kid. It was sickening.

 

[Deleted member 26368]

But these moms always referred to this 8/9 year old child as "B#tch Face" and even took pictures of her at one meet and sent them around the parent group text mocking the kid. It was sickening.

I hope someone called them on their behavior. That was completely out of line.

 

[cogymmom2dd]

The main CGP that I see is just the parent that is constantly looking at other gyms to see if the grass is greener somewhere else and if they are progressing kids through the levels quicker. Regardless of how well their kid is doing or what kind of relationships they are building.

Feel bad when the kid seems to have a good connection and making friends and then they have to start all over at a new gym.

Yes, I forgot about another CGP that pulled her DD out of our gym to do L4 at another gym after she did L2 and 3 at our gym. She ended up doing 2 additional years of L4 at this other gym because she couldn’t score high enough for progression to the next level per this gym’s standards (3 meets with 36.5+ scores). She did one year of L6 and one year of 7 and again could not progress. So, mom pulled her back to our gym. She did a second year of L7 and she did not do well. So, mom pulled her to another local gym, put her in day program with homeschooling there and she repeated L7 for a third season and did better but still not great.
This particular CGP made friends with another CGP and they both pulled their kids out at the same time. The other CGP did basically the same hopping back and forth between gyms because her daughter was ‘the best’ and she ended up with career ending injuries after L8 because she was overworked.
I actually befriended someone from my old neighborhood who had a DD at our gym. We would carpool together, practices and meets. Her DD was 3 years older than mine but started late. After our L3 season, she pulled her DD from the gym to take her to an ‘elite’ gym where she spent 2 years doing L4 and never progressed past L6 before she quit. This mom was the type that was ‘only the best for my Princess’ so she only switched gyms so she could tell people her DD trained at this ‘elite’ gym.

 

[ReluctantGymMom]

CGDAD activity from level 1 - yes, level 1. My dds friend gets invited to another teammates birthday party, but just her from the team, no one else. Everyone else at the party is family. So far, still cool. They’re the same age, same age division usually. Dad pulls round random aunties and grandmas to point out friend as the girl who won the first meet but whom their family vowed to never let win again.

Its been a few years and I still equally cringe and laugh at this. It was level ONE!

 

[PeanutsMom]

I'm fascinated/terrified by the "homeschool" gym option some of you have mentioned. Our gym doesn't offer it, but I can think of at least a few parents that would jump on it if they did!

My daughter did one year of the "gym school" home school option. She made Optionals starting in 5th grade. Her elementary school got out at 3:50 and practice started at 3:30. I also work at a school and I didn't get out until 3pm. To drive from my school to the elementary school and back to the gym would have been a bridge too far. It was easier for her to go to the gym school and roll right into early afternoon practice. I must admit, I actually loved this. She did all her subjects in 4 hours, got done with practice by 5pm and for the first time in 4 competitive seasons we actually got to eat dinner as a family every night. Then Covid happened, the gym school folded, we switched gyms, and now there is no scheduling conflict, so she is in regular middle school.