WAG Crying...

[gymjunkie]

Better to have them compose themselves out of the way and come back with a smile. A quiet chat at the end about it seems like a good idea too.

Yes, it's so very important that they compose themselves privately. It needs to be done away from the teammates and the coach.

 

[LizzieLac]

Some people are "wired" for greater emotions or possibly tears. It takes extra work to overcome this and as children it needs to be understood that they have less experience and practice with managing emotions than an adult. It is that simple. However, with sports, professional settings, and other environments, crying and excessive emotions are detrimental.

In baseball, my son cares so deeply, is so competitive, expects so much of himself, and hates to let the team down. When he strikes out or has a bad hit that is easily fielded, he often cries. My DH and I DO NOT LIKE THIS AT ALL. But he is 11 and he wired for intense emotions. The problem is his tears can negatively affect HIS performance during the rest of the game and impacts the team's energy and outlook.

We tell him that during competition he needs to be a leader, control the display of emotions (what he feels is ok), and focus energy on positive behaviors. Generally, this goes for practice too, although crying tends not to happen during practice. Crying should be kept for in the car or at home - that simple.

 

[dani4]

Yes, that is exactly what I mean, Flossyduck. If someone ever noticed that I was crying, whether they were being kind or not, it made it worse! I'm so glad that I don't cry like that anymore.. I have to admit I'm not really sure when it ended. Maybe with having kids? Suddenly everything is in much greater perspective. My life is not as important.

I can definitely see though that even that kind of crying is counterproductive and even possibly dangerous in gymnastics. It was bad enough at my first swim meet when I was 9 and I kept crashing into the ropes and crying in frustration- can't imagine trying to get through a bars or beam routine with tears in my eyes. I wasn't a crying mess all the time, far from it.. I did get through a lot of meets & races with no tears. I just remember the bad ones pretty well. And then there was my reading of Hamlet's soliloquy my junior year of high school.. let's not go there!

 

[twinmomma]

My son is also high emotion. He cried twice at baseball practice yesterday, both times in response to taking a tough fall. Coach had him stretch it out and get back out there. Second time it happened he also took a hard fall but it was his own fault for chasing down a ball halfway across the field that another kid had called already. So when we were walking back to the car I talked to him about doing HIS job and not someone else's and he cried again. He was simply frustrated. I asked him to settle down mostly because I couldn't understand what he was saying through the tears. But we've learned that's just who he is. He's gotten MUCH better at pulling it together over the past few years, but like one of the other posters said, he cares so deeply and wants to do well so badly that he's intensely invested - much more so than many other kids.

Interesting thing to note, our gym does not shame kids for crying (and bottom line that's what I think a lot of this rises to) and we have very little tears. When kids learn their emotions and reactions are acceptable and normal, I think it tends to happen less often. DD knows if she's upset or hurt she can go to her coach and get a hug and encouraging words and sent on her way. The more you deny emotions exist, or refuse to allow a kid to process their emotions, the harder you make it for them.

 

[gymisforeveryone]

My gymnasts don't cry. I have coached in this gym 2 years and none of my team girls have cried without being hurt and usually not even then. Once one 12 year old cried because I saw she was very tired, I knew she has done some serious running that day right before practice and I also knew she was also stressing about her middle school tryouts. She was quiet and failed at everything, it was nearly 9 pm and I went to ask her if everything was ok. She nodded thousand times and I kept asking because I knew something was wrong and then she broke down and mumbled through tears she was just exhausted.
That was the only time my gymnast have cried. I try my best at making them cry-free team at meets. I hate it when some teams cry like it was funeral when they are competing. I think it's just unappropriate to cry because of (easy non-hurt) fall. It's also irritating to be a judge when one teams starts crying. I hate seeing kids shake and wipe tears on beam. If that happened once that would be just ok and an accident but if the coaches don't seem to even try to teach their gymnasts to control their emotions during a routine that's just horrible to watch.

Night before a meet we talk with our gymnasts in a quiet and nice streching room. We tell them that everyone falls sometimes and everyone misses the vault steps sometimes. It's life and it's not the end of the world. We tell them it's okay to be upset but there is a time and place to show the emotions. The meet is not the right time and place. We also tell them that it's unsportsmanlike to cry over a fall. We do mental image exercises and they also are asked to tell everyone what they are afraid of and what they are going to feel if that worst horror scenario happens (usually it's something like falling of cartwheel). Then when everyone has spoken we ask them to tell everyone what they DO instead of letting those emotions control their behavior. When they say it out loud ("I'm horrified I'm going to miss my squat on. If that happens I'm going to feel very upset and bad but I'm not going to cry, I lift my chin up and finish my routine and salute like a champion") it's much more likely they don't get emotional if they actually fall.

Most of these kids are not gonna be superstars so I think we should really concentrate more on teaching the life lessons. I still remember what it felt like to fell of beam on cartwheel at competition but lock those emotions and get back up. That's a skill I still use in my life. Not the cartwheel.

 

[Ex member]

I agree with the above poster I haven't figured out how to LIKE something on the mobile app yet

Time and place for everything but sometimes ya just need a good cry as my mom would say but during your routine is something that for me, as a beginner and knows nothing is something that signals not being 100% focused. Make a mistake ? Move right along and learn from it My mom used to say crying isn't going to change the past or the future so deal and move on

That said I'm 31 now and I can only imagine what the pressure would have been like at 11 or so Anyways just my two cents