Parents DD Goofs Around During Practice

[NewGymMominCA]

Hi All,

I'm not sure what to do anymore. My DD - age 8 - is on Pre-team but no matter what I say to her or what her coach says to her - she does stuff like swinging on the rope and jumping up and off of the mats and in general doesn't seem nearly as focused as the other girls (who are actually a little younger than her!).

Sometimes its so bad - that she has to ask what she's supposed to be doing because she wasn't paying attention when the coach was explaining it. It's beyond frustrating as a parent to watch this... She knows she can (always) go back to Recreational gymnastics but every time I bring it up - she says "No Way!" She has a lot of energy and is super strong...and loves gymnastics. (I can't get her to agree to try another sport). But...I just don't know what to do about her being so unfocused and goofing around... I am mean this sport is not cheap!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

why is this happening and are the coaches disciplining her?

 

[NewGymMominCA]

I don't know why DD does this...and her coach does talk to her about it...

 

[Deleted member D3987]

have you asked her?

 

[NewGymMominCA]

I've asked her... She doesn't know why she does it...

 

[Deleted member D3987]

okay, then. 1st you have to video her doing the behaviors you are trying to get her to stop.

then sit down and show her. and THEN ask her why she is doing these things. and THEN explain to her that her behaviors are dangerous to herself as well as other kids and if she doesn't stop you're taking her out for a period of time.

if she was with me? she would climb that rope until she understood how to do it correctly.
and then she would move to gymnastics.

 

[ginnymac]

If there is no consequence for her behavior, why should she stop?? She needs clear boundaries with consequences and immediate follow through.

 

[NewGymMominCA]

Thanks dunno...That sounds like a good idea. I think she needs a wake-up call... I know I shouldn't compare her to the other kids...but I'm scratching my head wondering why the other kids are so focused and well behaved but my child acts like something that has been let out of a cage.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

here's the thing that young inexperienced coaches don't understand because they don't want to be reprimanded or risk losing their jobs over correctly disciplining a kid.

gymnastics begins with basics. rope is a basic fundamental of gymnastics and will be used their entire career. yes, even in college.

if the kid can't understand and respect the very basics of our sport, they should NOT be allowed to move on to practice the "stuff" that they want to do. like flip flops and trampoline.

 

[rsm]

I would have a conversation with the coach. Ask if the behavior is as out of line as you notice it to be (because, let's face it, we are all focused on our own kids, and sometimes it's not as bad as it seems to us.) If coach agrees that something should be done, then maybe talk about some ideas for dealing with this behavior when it happens and let your DD know the consequences when it happens. My DD can sometimes be "over-exuberant" and too chatty during practice. Coach deals with it with either a time-out or sit-out (if just one or two kids) or a round of squat jumps (if it's the whole team). They get the message pretty quick.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

did the above answer your question Ginnymac?

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I would have a conversation with the coach. Ask if the behavior is as out of line as you notice it to be (because, let's face it, we are all focused on our own kids, and sometimes it's not as bad as it seems to us.) If coach agrees that something should be done, then maybe talk about some ideas for dealing with this behavior when it happens and let your DD know the consequences when it happens. My DD can sometimes be "over-exuberant" and too chatty during practice. Coach deals with it with either a time-out or sit-out (if just one or two kids) or a round of squat jumps (if it's the whole team). They get the message pretty quick.

this mom stated that the coach has spoken to her daughter. i'm making an educated guess that the coach is young and inexperienced.

 

[ginnymac]

I agree with you, dunno. Limits, (particularly when needed for safety), consequences and follow through are unfortunately not often taught to people who coach. I think that they should be--especially to early level coaches who are frequently young and inexperienced. It needs to be taught, like spotting

 

[NewGymMominCA]

Actually...my DD likes climbing the rope...so I think they'd have to discipline her another way. Anyways...thanks everyone for your advice...I'm really at my wits end with this.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Actually...my DD likes climbing the rope...so I think they'd have to discipline her another way. Anyways...thanks everyone for your advice...I'm really at my wits end with this.

you said "swinging on the rope". that's not rope. of course she likes it. send her by me next week and i'll properly instruct her on HOW rope is to be done.

 

[NewGymMominCA]

Well...she prefers swinging but doesn't mind climbing.

 

[MILgymFAM]

From a parent perspective I would say you need to set clear boundaries, with the coach, and follow through on the consequences. My DD is a sensitive soul. She is an amazingly hard worker, but she has a tendency to cry too easily over non physical stuff. I had to go to the coach myself and tell the coach that if DD cries for no reason, kick her out. The coach couldn't believe I would support such an action. Apparently she had tried kicking kids out of class before and caught hell from the parents. I think often coaches are afraid of boundaries and consequences because they don't want to deal with the parents. If your DD had to sit out every time she acted out, I am thinking it would surely trickle to a stop.

 

[raenndrops]

My YG had focus issues when she was younger. She was disciplined starting in preschool gymnastics... At 2-1/2, she climbed to the top of the rope and refused to come down... until HC came over and threatened to NEVER let her on rope again if she didn't come down. She came down and HC took her off to have a talk with her. This talk had to do with following directions so she would be safe. It was the same talk they had every 6-10 months through rec and onto team (ADHD- unmedicated... talks got farther apart as she got older) until last May (when HC told her that, if she wanted to move to Xcel Gold - WITH HER OWN ROUTINES, she would have to demonstrate that she can stay on task because the Optionals have less direct supervision than the L3s and L4s). She was 9 years old. Since that day, she is a different girl. She goes to practice early on the days we go (her stepsister has her rec class a 1/2 hour before team starts)... she stretches and then goes to work on bars or beam (with coach approval). We also have to leave early, so this extra time helps her get everything done.

Hopefully your gymmie will see the video and UNDERSTAND that this is unacceptable behavior and make a conscious effort to change. ... and BTW, there were a few times that I recorded YG's behavior to show her and it did help her, so it could help yours.

 

[rsm]

this mom stated that the coach has spoken to her daughter. i'm making an educated guess that the coach is young and inexperienced.

I would guess that too. Or maybe the coach is experienced, has seen it before and is okay with just talking to her DD if he/she doesn't think the behavior warrants any other consequences at this time. Even more reason to actually talk to the coach, and set boundaries and consequences as other posters have also mentioned.

 

[gothgymmom]

Just to add in there, make sure you do not tell her that it costs way too much for her to be screwing around.