Parents Dealing with Favoritism and Disruptive Behavior Affecting My Daughter’s Training

[Sandy7788]

I’d like to get your advice on something. There’s a girl in my daughter’s gymnastics group who seems to constantly follow her around and try to compete with her, possibly because my daughter is doing better than she is. She even cuts in front of her during practice, which prevents my daughter from getting her turns.
It seems like this girl might have some kind of special connection with the gym, because the coaches don’t intervene. In fact, it sometimes feels like the coach is harder on my daughter just to keep that girl comfortable.
This situation has started to seriously affect my daughter’s training.
What should I do in this situation?

 

[Dahlialover]

How old are they? What level are they in? What do you mean when you say that it is “seriously” affecting your daughter’s training?

To some extent, this sounds like recess-level obnoxious behavior, which is often best worked out by the children themselves. Has your daughter tried to deal with this herself by being more assertive about holding her place in line and ignoring the other child’s attempts to “compete with her”. Has your child attempted to talk to the coach herself about her concerns?

I’d definitely start with coaching your child about what she can do to address the situation herself.

 

[Sandy7788]

How old are they? What level are they in? What do you mean when you say that it is “seriously” affecting your daughter’s training?

To some extent, this sounds like recess-level obnoxious behavior, which is often best worked out by the children themselves. Has your daughter tried to deal with this herself by being more assertive about holding her place in line and ignoring the other child’s attempts to “compete with her”. Has your child attempted to talk to the coach herself about her concerns?

I’d definitely start with coaching your child about what she can do to address the situation herself.

She is 10 years old and currently at Level 5. She told the other girl not to follow her or cut in line, but the girl didn’t listen. The coach didn’t intervene—in fact, he even allowed her to cut in line, skip stations, and do only the stations she wanted. When we brought these issues to the coach’s attention, he retaliated against my daughter by holding back her training and blaming it on her physical development.

 

[Dahlialover]

She is 10 years old and currently at Level 5. She told the other girl not to follow her or cut in line, but the girl didn’t listen. The coach didn’t intervene—in fact, he even allowed her to cut in line, skip stations, and do only the stations she wanted. When we brought these issues to the coach’s attention, he retaliated against my daughter by holding back her training and blaming it on her physical development.

In that case, the only thing you can do is to leave. It’s a good time of year to try out other gyms.

 

[Sandy7788]

How old are they? What level are they in? What do you mean when you say that it is “seriously” affecting your daughter’s training?

To some extent, this sounds like recess-level obnoxious behavior, which is often best worked out by the children themselves. Has your daughter tried to deal with this herself by being more assertive about holding her place in line and ignoring the other child’s attempts to “compete with her”. Has your child attempted to talk to the coach herself about her concerns?

I’d definitely start with coaching your child about what she can do to address the situation herself.

She is 10 years old and currently at Level 5. She told the other girl not to follow her or cut in line, but the girl didn’t listen. The coach didn’t intervene—in fact, he even allowed her to cut in line, skip stations, and do only the stations she wanted. When we brought these issues to the coach’s attention, he retaliated against my daughter by holding back her training and blaming it on her physical development.

How old are they? What level are they in? What do you mean when you say that it is “seriously” affecting your daughter’s training?

To some extent, this sounds like recess-level obnoxious behavior, which is often best worked out by the children themselves. Has your daughter tried to deal with this herself by being more assertive about holding her place in line and ignoring the other child’s attempts to “compete with her”. Has your child attempted to talk to the coach herself about her concerns?

I’d definitely start with coaching your child about what she can do to address the situation herself.

 

[Sandy7788]

In that case, the only thing you can do is to leave. It’s a good time of year to try out other gyms.

Yes, we tried, but this is the best gym in our area. We will change to new coaches but still with that girl. It’s hard to deal with if this happens again with new coaches because she is special!

 

[Dahlialover]

Yes, we tried, but this is the best gym in our area. We will change to new coaches but still with that girl. It’s hard to deal with if this happens again with new coaches because she is special!

The best gym in the area may not be The best gym for your child. However, it is possible that things will improve with new coaches. I’m not particularly perturbed about the child’s behavior (some kids are like that) it’s the coaches behavior that is unacceptable. If the new coaches are normal, they will recognize that this child’s behavior is disruptive and begin to address it within the first month. If that doesn’t happen, then you may need to reevaluate continuing at this gym. Also, I would not talk to the coaches about it right away. Let them figure it out themselves; they will be more invested if they notice it themselves. Good luck.