Let me start off by saying that I in no way condone the actions of the abusers/silencers, but it’s no secret that I have not jumped on the #dismantle USAG bandwagon, and I doubt I ever will. Full disclosure, many people will disagree with what I am about to say. Some might even change their opinion of me and that’s ok. Please know that I have no intention of personally offending anyone and I feel, as I always have, that gymnastics is a sport that should be enjoyed by gymnasts of all ages and abilities. Also beware that I won’t get caught up in a virtual boxing match with anyone, but I am open to participating in any polite & mindful debate/discussion about the issues at hand. So here goes.....
1) At risk of sounding naive & cliche, not at my DD’s gym. If my DD is ‘abused’, physically, mentally, or emotionally, it is strictly at HER own hand. SHE is fully aware of her right to walk out at any time she deems fit. Will she? Nope. Why? Because she’s a fighter, strong willed, and determined. (Now I’m not even remotely implying that I feel anyone is weak.). I have asked myself why I allow her to endure this sport long before I was aware of any of this. However, there is a mental aspect of this sport that I feel coaches are just as responsible of developing as any other skill. Does every coach do it the right way? No, but I can think of several instances that I’ve read on here about how this skill or that skill has not been properly developed. Do we put out an all ban on ‘sit-lean-jump’ coaches? Nope. How do we correct this? We train them. We develop them. Anyone that’s had a child go through a mental block will agree that a course on the emotional development of children, especially young girls, would tremendously supplement USAG’s current safety course and who knows it could aid in decreasing other issues like eating disorders that are common in the sport. Will they all learn? Nope and that’s why I feel that any coach or program that belittles ANY of their gymnasts is not an appropriate environment for any child. But don’t think for a second that all coaches and programs are guilty of abusing their athletes bc this is just absolutely not true.
2) I completely agree that it is MY job as her mom to protect her from ALL harm. It’s actually this statement that convinced me to speak up, because if I’m being honest, right now, the only thing threatening her is an angry mob of people who might think they know the ‘real’ issues and who want to tear down an establishment and people that SHE admires and truly loves. What kind of parent would I be if I didn’t fight for HER voice? Shouldn’t she have a say in how to shape HER future? It may be hard to see things from my perspective, but I am curious, to you guys that are calling for total annihilation, how many of your children have actually been to The Ranch? How many of them have actually been coached or even engaged by the NTS? Not trying to be mean or rude, but do not assume things that you truly know nothing about. A couple more things about HARM. My DD’s level of gymnastics is not typical and as such requires a level of dedication and continuous education of her coaches that is also non-standard. I’m supposed to be ‘OK’ with the sub-par alternatives that would have to be implemented by dismantling the current structure as opposed to the optimal current coaching and education provided by the NTS and USAG? And for what? The hope that we as a SOCIETY not just gymnastics culture learn to STOP EXPLOITING OUR CHILDREN PERIOD in time for my grandchildren or great-grandchildren to reap the benefits? No. And for the record, no one finds the timing of some of the ‘heroes’ odd, or that some so-called ‘experts’ that are calling for the dismissal of all employees at the time of the incidents was in-fact on the payroll at the same time? I can’t help but feel that we as a gymnastics community are allowing personal gains and vendettas to continue to capitalize on the EXPLOITATION of our children. The best place for change to start to take place is inside our homes. WE, the parents, are responsible for our children. It’s our duty to be wolves, not sheep.
3.). Don’t just talk to your children about these types of things. LISTEN to them, their struggles, their opinions. ENGAGE them. Strategize solutions to their problems. SUPPORT their endeavors, their dreams, their goals. Give them the tools, teach them a better way.
I also want to say I admire the young women and their support systems that have come forward. It takes a lot of courage and strength, but again, if I’m being honest, if the mob is successful, my heroes won’t be those that endured and came forward after their dreams came true. My heroes will be the ones whose hopes and dreams were sacrificed for the ‘greater’ good.