Women Discussion of abuse in USAG - Nassar

[azara]

Apologies if either of these two brave women have been mentioned already, but I haven't seen it yet and I think it's vital that the recent accounts given by Tatiana and McKayla be shared. Please read their stories in their own words, my short summaries are not enough.

Tatiana: https://www.facebook.com/tatiana.gutsu.7/posts/1273085966158431

Tatiana writes that she is being brave after 27 years. In 1991, Germany, Tatiana says she was raped by Vitaly Scherbo, and that he has threatened her into silence ever since. She calls out Tatiana Toropova and Rustam Sharipov for passive bystanding. She says she will support anybody who speaks out against sexual assault.

McKayla: Link Removed

McKayla writes about Larry Nassar sexually assaulting her. I don't want to write out the details, but they're heartbreaking. She gives three suggestions: speak out and bring awareness to abuse, hold those in positions of power accountable, and have zero tolerance for abusers and those complicit.

Please read the full statements from both of these ladies, they are important and tragic, and Tatiana and McKayla want their message to resonate across the gymnastics community.

 

[aerials]

Wow, that's huge...about Vitaly Scherbo. I remember watching Tatiana compete. How awful for her.

I got nauseous reading McKayla's account. I wonder if she was one of the original people who brought a complaint against Nassar.

How heartbreaking for both of them.

 

[Seeker]

Very brave of both of them to share their stories. Even 27-yrs later, the effect and impact of that event is clearly heavy for Tatiana.

McKayla should have never been put in that position, not even once, but seems to have been multiple times. Who was in charge that allowed her to be taken alone to a hotel room? (Rhetorical, as it’s clear no one was...)

 

[suds]

I just read McKayla's account.

I. Am. Furious.

 

[Mish]

Very brave of both of them to share their stories. Even 27-yrs later, the effect and impact of that event is clearly heavy for Tatiana.

McKayla should have never been put in that position, not even once, but seems to have been multiple times. Who was in charge that allowed her to be taken alone to a hotel room? (Rhetorical, as it’s clear no one was...)

Furthermore, who allowed him to give a 15 year old a "sleeping pill?" Disgusting and heartbreaking.

 

[wallinbl]

Furthermore, who allowed him to give a 15 year old a "sleeping pill?" Disgusting and heartbreaking.

Having traveled to Asia frequently, it's rather common to do that in order to adjust to the time differences. I'd bet most of the people on the trip took them.

I'm not defending or justifying any of the other stuff, but there is a reasonable purpose for ambien or similar in that circumstance. It's hard enough to adjust well enough to stay awake in chairs in meetings; I can't imagine how high level athletes adjust well enough to compete.

 

[2gymmies]

In thinking about McKaylas situation, there had to be more people involved... how in heavens name did she get from a flight, through customs and immigration and all of the other travel stuff and then to his hotel room without others helping to facilitate it... or if not facilitate at least be aware - someone should have thought, hmmm, this doesn’t seem right!

 

[John]

I hear if you are on Ambien and don't sleep 8 or more hours you actually can be awake and function but you can not have a recollection of what you have done. Think Tiger Woods.

 

[Flicfliclay]

This is heartbreaking.. I just can't imagine as a parent thinking of your daughter dealing with something like this. Question as my daughter is only 9 and does not travel without us. WHERE are the parents? Makayla was 13 when this started happening... The Dr. told her he was doing special therapy that he has been doing for 30 years... and we can imagine what the therapy was by a few other gymnasts statements.. But why oh why were these young girls with this man alone?????? Where was mom or dad? I can't imagine sending my daughter in for anything alone at that age? No it is not her parents fault, but holy mother of GOD there needs to be some changes so NOTHING like this can happen to these young girls!

 

[profmom]

For those who don't know, Scherbo is currently a club owner in Nevada. Sharipov is the head coach of the Ohio State men's gymnastics team. Nassar, of course, has already been banned.

 

[penelope20_1999]

i find it amazing that all of these abusive people thought they could hide how they abused so many people and they got away with for a certain time. BUT NOW... it is all coming out... exposed for the filth that it was...and they are being brought to an end.

i was assaulted before by an instructor, but not gymnastics. i won't give away what it was in, but he literally knew what he was doing and thankfully didn't get very far in his quest. i didn't know it was coming and i froze out of fear when he tried to put his hand down my shirt. i met him at a house in the country so he could teach me the book part of the "sport." thankfully he stopped and didn't touch my boobs and i bolted. prior he posed as a friend, gave me free lessons, groomed me by asking me questions to instill he had a defense while i had absolutely no idea he was talking about him and me (things like age difference in relationships...he would ask things like did i think age mattered... i answered no, thinking about my grandparents 8 year age difference NOT EVER thinking he was creating a perverted path for his defense) .

i had no desire for any type of relationship with this man other than learning about the "sport..it really isn't a sport more like a hobby but i don't want to give it away" and he was supposed to be the best. he even gave me this false safety net of friendship. i was 17/18 and he was 50-60. the only person i have ever told is my husband. i was a strong person at the time and was embarrassed i froze and didn't fight back. i was embarrassed i ignored it and didn't tell anyone ever. i had fought my sibling over lesser things. my brother taught me how to defend myself years before. i still to this day don't get why i froze. this guy was around my job for 5 years. this happened in the 1st year or 2nd year.

had i told my boss, or either of my 2 coworkers they would have handled it. my boss would have stopped it and my coworkers would literally have beat him up. one was like my brother (literally my brother's friend growing up) and the other like my uncle. my dad would have handled it, but i was too embarrassed that i hadn't recognized how evil he was.

he acted like it never happened and two years after i left this job, he later came to me to help him in a separate business aspect. i should had turned him away, but i kind of put him over on my boss without telling her the backdrop. she was older and very dominant and wouldn't be alone with him ever. i didn't endanger her. he later transferred to another man in the company and soon left. i think he was after me again.

point being...i hate it for her ...and them...and it is horrible, evil, and it is like these people have a cloud/shroud of wickedness protecting them until they dont.

 

[Faith]

So the bottom line is we need zero tolerance. To all of it. Coaches saying kids are fat, ignoring them, using punishments. Pushing them so hard with high hours, until they injure.

We need to believe kids when they say a coach is mean, or has said x or y. As parents we need to say this is not acceptable, and go find another club or sport.

What Tatiana says is particularly poignant. Those people knew and didn’t speak up. I have seen that so many times- not sexual, but physical and emotional. We need to teach our kids to tell if a team mate is being ignored, yelled at for no reason.

What is it about gymnastics and sport that makes people think they have to put up with this? We don’t. If our kids quit gymnastics that’s no big deal compared to being sexually, physically or emotionally abused for years.

 

[profmom]

Penelope, none of what happened was your fault, and your reactions were very much in line with how many other victimized individuals react. Think of it this way -- if a 17 year old you are currently coaching came to you and told you that this happened, what would you do? You would give her a hug and tell her that she's not responsible for this person's predatory behavior. Please try to find that frightened, appalled 17 year old inside yourself and tell her that nothing she did or didn't do was blameworthy, that she was very brave to get through this, especially all alone like that, and that she is worthy of compassion and care and love.

I am so sorry this happened to you and that the scars are still there.

 

[John]

Penelope, none of what happened was your fault, and your reactions were very much in line with how many other victimized individuals react. Think of it this way -- if a 17 year old you are currently coaching came to you and told you that this happened, what would you do? You would give her a hug and tell her that she's not responsible for this person's predatory behavior. Please try to find that frightened, appalled 17 year old inside yourself and tell her that nothing she did or didn't do was blameworthy, that she was very brave to get through this, especially all alone like that, and that she is worthy of compassion and care and love.

I am so sorry this happened to you and that the scars are still there.

Great words of compassion and understanding.

 

[BachFlyer]

I'm so sorry for you Penelope. It's horrifying how commonplace it really is, just horrifying. And it is equally distressing to me how it seems like a majority of victims just blamed themselves, dealt with it, stuffed it down, tried to ignore it & be strong just to move on, and didn't tell or only told friends or other people who also were afraid to tell. My middle school English teacher once got really close and very intentionally rubbed his 0ld, huge, gross stomach against mine during a private tutoring session. It was creepy and uncomfortable, but that was it the extent of it and I awkwardly left after the session, and I was always very leery of him afterward. But I dismissed it as not enough of a "something" to really do anything about. I was embarrassed and didn't tell anyone, thinking probably that I would get made fun of if I made a big deal of it and people knew I told on him or something. Who knows what he did to others in retrospect, or what he would have tried if I had gone back again...I am thankful that it wasn't anything further but it was a violation of boundaries. I never even considered that I shouldn't have been alone with him.

I agree with Faith - the only thing that will stop this is zero tolerance. And also talking to our kids and asking pointed questions maybe way, way more than we currently do.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

This is heartbreaking.. I just can't imagine as a parent thinking of your daughter dealing with something like this. Question as my daughter is only 9 and does not travel without us. WHERE are the parents? Makayla was 13 when this started happening... The Dr. told her he was doing special therapy that he has been doing for 30 years... and we can imagine what the therapy was by a few other gymnasts statements.. But why oh why were these young girls with this man alone?????? Where was mom or dad? I can't imagine sending my daughter in for anything alone at that age? No it is not her parents fault, but holy mother of GOD there needs to be some changes so NOTHING like this can happen to these young girls!

Simply put , a female needs to be in charge of USAG, the end... (this is coming from a male)

 

[Faith]

Simply put , a female needs to be in charge of USAG, the end... (this is coming from a male)

Nope. Females abuse too. We need non-abusers in charge. Male or female. Females can enable abuse and turn a blind eye just as easily as a male.

The thing i have come across recently is the powers that be, at high levels, the ones that pick the national squads, are the ones that should be looking at their nations best gymnasts and looking at the clubs and coaches behind them. Be looking out for gymnasts like katelyn ohashi- are the results due to abusive training methods.

But they don’t. They select those they think will win medals. And because they don’t see normal training, then they don’t see abuse, and it doesn’t happen.

If those at the top stopped selecting from clubs that abuse kids, those clubs would have to change. Listen to athletes, listen to parents, and don’t dismiss complaints as jealousy or bitterness.

 

[MeetDirector]

Absolutely HORRIFIC!!

Words cannot begin to describe how saddened I am that a "system" allowed these sick predators to carry out their evil on these young athletes.

As a gym parent, we have to reinvent the system used to produce these athletes that does not have the air of secrecy about it that encourages an athlete's parents to put their athletes in the hands of these kinds of people. We have to have a system that is built on a triangle of trust (parent, federation, coach) surrounding the athlete at the center. We cannot have a system that allows an athlete to fall under the "spell" of these evil human beings.

Very heartbroken to read these accounts.

 

[John]

But those running the "olympic" teams care about one thing, winning! They are willing to break their gymnasts to accomplish the goal. This is even more complicated because a gymnast within reach of an Olympic medal is probably willing to do just about anything to make their life's dream reality.

It seems easy to me that the coaches and directors should be content and secure enough to put the well being of a gymnast over the final goal. Where do we find those people? Do we beleive our current national leadership can protect the nation's gymnasts? I do not.

 

[penelope20_1999]

thanks for all the sweet comments. much love back to you all. i'm good now, and i didn't mean to shift attention to myself. i just totally get how all these people are now coming forward. i get how they felt unable to do anything and were embarrassed and powerless and did ignore it. i had always said if anyone had tried to do anything to me, i would defend myself. yet, when it happened, i couldn't and i knew how. i mean, i literally, until today had only told my husband about it. now it is out on internet land.

i hate it for all of these sweet girls who were defiled by this guy. i'm glad it came to light and they can start implementing things to protect these children/young women. i hope for positive change in the gymnastics community all around. i also hope that if anyone lurking is in an abusive situation that they will have the power to get the help they need.

as an aside: i'm a former coach. i probably should take that off my banner, but i don't know how. i do hope to possibly coach again one day.

again, thanks for the sweet comments.