Do you think there's an "elite personality'?

[bogwoppit]

Because I don't. Because I know how things can change because of injury, or growing-up, or burning-out. Because this is her sport and I am only here on CB for myself, for support in this crazy adventure and to remember what the beginning was like. I love to read the L4-5-6 meet reports and remember my dd's whopping score of a 5 on her first L6 bar routine. I enjoy reading about everyone's success, and I almost weep every time I read about someones disappointments. If nothing else, I never mention her elite training because I believe and have learned that, especially in this sport, you must be humble. Things can change in an instant. It is best not to place your hopes to high.

This does not mean one can not dream. I have often dreamed of what it would be like to have my dd be a successful elite, or go to the big O. But I know the more I dream, and the more I talk about that the more my ideas may take over my dd's ideas for herself. This would be wrong, and it creates a lot of pressure on her. I do not want her to ever think that if she does not make elite that she has failed me - or even herself. There are many ways to be successful as a gymnast - being an elite is just one of those.

And finally, I like to keep some privacy for myself and for my dd. I almost never post meet results, and never link to any video's.

Gymjoy I have always loved your posts. Now I think I want to adopt you!

 

[gymnut1]

me too! Thank you for such a heartfelt explanation. I don't post scores or videos either because my dd does not want me too. This board is for me. She says she has her own network of support - called friends! lol.

 

[MdGymMom01]

Thank you Gymjoy!!! I feel the same way you do in that being humble is something that we all need to be because it can all change that fast in an instant. I know because of my dd's fear issues. It can be very unpredictable. I do post her meet vids and her scores (the good and the not so good) because I am so proud of the fact that she gets out there and tries. She may not be the best compared to some of these other gymnasts on here but she is the best that she can be at that moment. And that to me is worth bragging about.

I love hearing about the gymmies who do get over their fear issues (even if the fear is to come back at a later time) because it shows the extreme amount of courage that these girls have to go out there and stare down that fear and just go for it. That takes guts, strength, perservearance and trust which to me is worth so much more than getting to elite.

 

[Shelovesthebars]

Mdgymmom01- I am really happy that you post videos of your dd. You can tell that she really loves what she is doing and she is really a joy to watch. I love the videos of her dancing too!

 

[kristilyn73]

. Because this is her sport and I am only here on CB for myself, for support in this crazy adventure and to remember what the beginning was like. I love to read the L4-5-6 meet reports and remember my dd's whopping score of a 5 on her first L6 bar routine. I enjoy reading about everyone's success, and I almost weep every time I read about someones disappointments. .

Gymjoy, Me too! I found CB Because of a mental block my DD was going through, but now it has become so much more than just that. It a great network of support for me. I love reading every single meet report! I adore the posts when someone is able to break through that fear barrier. I get emotional way too much!

Now for my opinions on the recent postings about Elite bound kiddos.

See, I also relate to those posts of parents whose DD's are older struggling with their love of the sport and the pull of outside influences, (Friends, School, other sports).

Maybe years and years ago my DD had elite dreams, when she was 5 she was asked to be on the "Fast Track team". The Optional coach at the time came up to me with in 2 weeks of Beetle being in the gym and said "I want your DD on my team" WOW .. Did that make me feel proud of her. But we were both too naive to realize what Elite REALLY meant. Elite doesn't just mean a trip to the Ranch, Nationals, Worlds, Olympics. It means Dedication, Desire, Most likely tears and injuries, Sacrifice, money and honestly Luck..

A child trains THAT many hours, there will most likely be overuse injuries, there will be things that she will have to say no to, Sleepovers, Dinners with family, lazy sleep in mornings. I am not saying that is good or bad, I am just saying it happens. Even Optional Gymnasts have to make those sacrifices, now multiply for Elite gymnasts.

MY job is to make sure my child has a well rounded life. She loves this sport. But I don't want it to define her life. So, those posters that imply that some of us CB members are jealous of those kids that have elite dream isn't necessariliy true. Some of us have made the decision for our kids that they will NOT train elite even it is what they said they wanted.

 

[ek2]

Because I don't. Because I know how things can change because of injury, or growing-up, or burning-out. Because this is her sport and I am only here on CB for myself, for support in this crazy adventure and to remember what the beginning was like. I love to read the L4-5-6 meet reports and remember my dd's whopping score of a 5 on her first L6 bar routine. I enjoy reading about everyone's success, and I almost weep every time I read about someones disappointments. If nothing else, I never mention her elite training because I believe and have learned that, especially in this sport, you must be humble. Things can change in an instant. It is best not to place your hopes to high.

This does not mean one can not dream. I have often dreamed of what it would be like to have my dd be a successful elite, or go to the big O. But I know the more I dream, and the more I talk about that the more my ideas may take over my dd's ideas for herself. This would be wrong, and it creates a lot of pressure on her. I do not want her to ever think that if she does not make elite that she has failed me - or even herself. There are many ways to be successful as a gymnast - being an elite is just one of those.

And finally, I like to keep some privacy for myself and for my dd. I almost never post meet results, and never link to any video's.

LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!

I totally agree about privacy. We have had some issues in the past and that is one of the reasons I do not post video's and even had to get rid of Facebook. Too many creepy people out there.

 

[Linsul]

But, I think you may be right. CB does not seem to be the place for parents of dedicated gymmies who have elite dreams and who are working toward making those dreams happen.

Try not to feel too badly or singled out about this. There is much to be gained through the board even if you feel you have to keep some things under wraps. That's what Starbucks and real life friends are for I guess lol. Time, money, snacks, general health, balancing school/other activities, gym policies, coaching practices are illuminated here in a way that I don't see anywhere else. It's articles plus real life experience, you can't ask for more. Not to mention the support factor. Everyone here is awesome about that, whether it's trying for a new skill, burnout, a not-so-good meet, or a huge achievement! These things make chalkbucket very worthwhile from rec levels through elites imo.

When I say don't feel singled out, I mean it! There are SO many threads I want to post in, or react to, that I just can't. Not posting in the 'have you met an elite' thread was an act of pure will, I have some good stories there. Alas, I don't have the luxury of being a gym owner. Posting strong statements, about stories involving well known athletes or coaches, or throwing my .02 on a touchy subject, is either a no go or a watered down version of what I really want to say. I have to remind myself that I'm not totally anonymous and keep things in context in a way that's publicly acceptable and stays in context of being only what I think personally. I have to do it on Facebook too! Even though how I work is totally acceptable at my gym, I'm in no way an internet ambassador. Well...I *do* keep our owners internet tip-top and make his iphone practically tapdance, but that's beside the point I'm here to find out what parents think about things, for skills and drills, and to post as a parent myself. Everything else is icing on the cake. Asking for more is opening up a can of worms I promised myself I wouldn't, so I just have to cheer for dunno.

Figuring out what you're here for and sticking to it is something we all face, don't let it get you down. So much to learn and celebrate, it's all worth it. Plus pumpkin spice lattes are back at Starbucks, gripe sessions are something I look forward to now lol!

 

[gymjourneymom]

Because I don't. Because I know how things can change because of injury, or growing-up, or burning-out. Because this is her sport and I am only here on CB for myself, for support in this crazy adventure and to remember what the beginning was like. I love to read the L4-5-6 meet reports and remember my dd's whopping score of a 5 on her first L6 bar routine. I enjoy reading about everyone's success, and I almost weep every time I read about someones disappointments. If nothing else, I never mention her elite training because I believe and have learned that, especially in this sport, you must be humble. Things can change in an instant. It is best not to place your hopes to high.

This does not mean one can not dream. I have often dreamed of what it would be like to have my dd be a successful elite, or go to the big O. But I know the more I dream, and the more I talk about that the more my ideas may take over my dd's ideas for herself. This would be wrong, and it creates a lot of pressure on her. I do not want her to ever think that if she does not make elite that she has failed me - or even herself. There are many ways to be successful as a gymnast - being an elite is just one of those.

And finally, I like to keep some privacy for myself and for my dd. I almost never post meet results, and never link to any video's.

Gymjoy, I would love to meet you for coffee just so we could sit & chat! I cannot tell you how much I love this post!!!! Thank you soooo much for being so open & honest, and sharing so much with us here on CB! I've always appreciated your posts, but this one just made me admire & respect you even more!

 

[Ingwe]

Lilgymmiemom7 (sorry if I messed your screen name up)

I guess I missed your original post when you asked about psoriasis, my dd also suffers from this. It started last year and I swear it's due to stress. She has a very extreme case and it even affected her knee joint. It's the worst on her neck and in her scalp. She used a topical steroid cream last year and it worked okay. She was clear all summer but unfortunately it has reared it's ugly head again. The cream does not seem to be helping now.
What does your dd use to help her flare ups? Maybe you have some suggestions that we can try here.

 

[triptwister]

Faith breeds courage. As you watch your gymnast grow with self confidence you also experience the joy of watching what happens when she believes in herself. It affirms the preceding belief in your child that you had first. The results are such that not only a parent can appreciate it but also every living soul that challenges human endeavor. When an elite becomes an elite, she finds out that is what she's been all along.

 

[Gymdad2]

tripTwister,

Your comment is very well written and I completely agree with you. I would only add that the same can be said (perhaps to a lesser degree, but still just as true) for every gymnast who achieves a new goal, be it learning a new trick, being promoted to the next level or standing on the podium for the first time.

 

[gymjoy]

What Gymdad2 said, but I'll extend that to anything one wants to accomplish - big or small.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

Triptwister, I love your post... up until the last line... Oh well.... it still applies to any level of gymnast once she has conquered a fear, skill, level, whatever. As has been repeated so many times here, not everyone is interested in attaining elite status. Still love the post though!

 

[NGL780309]

Gymjoy I was scratching my head over that too.


Suprising observation!!
Maybe some parents don't totally suck at judging their own DDs' potential, even if it's not apparent to other mums?
And maybe they were more devoted and supportive than pushy?
Was it just their willingness to homeschool and permit long training hours from a young age that lead to the diagnosis of "pushy"?
If we took your observations to be typical, wouldn't we have to make some unpopular conclusions about the need for early commitment and long hours from a young age to make elite? Now I'm curious to know how many levels those 4 girls competed for a full season??
Maye parental values around commitment to achievement tends to nuture certain types of characters/personalities that become the "stayers" in the long term??

All 4 of these girls competed every level starting with 5 for a full year. The only exception being that they competed L6 in the fall and then did L7 immediately in the spring. This is normal for everyone at this gym though.

I guess I could change the word "pushy" to really supportive! I wasn't a mother at the time, but just married to the coach so I heard and saw alot. It wasn't a situation where I was another mom judging from the outside. These parents in particular just really believed their kid had a really special talent and were pushing to have her skip levels and move faster and faster. They wanted to be involved in every little part. If she was having trouble with a skill they were researching and offering tips. Keep in mind they had no gymnastics background. I remember when she struggled to get her kip they were pretty obsessed. No matter how much my husband told them it was a normal thing to have it and lose it or not always make it they were always trying to diagnose the problem. He was always trying to express to them that gymnastics takes time and to be patient. It was hard for them to sit back and not stress about everything. There were much worse parents, but they could be a little over the top.

I never thought the girl didn't have potential. I think any kid that is a level 5 as a 7 year old has potential. I just don't know that it necessarily means they are destined to be an elite. They were sure she would be an elite gymnast. Then again every kid in that group had a parent that felt the same way. She was one of the lucky ones. She managed to stay injury free so far.

I don't know if a child needs to be training those hours at a young age to have a chance at elite. I know of those girls I saw they all did the long hours. Some ended up quitting, others had injuries, many just didn't have the ability once they reached the higher levels. While this girl in particular didn't score very well in L5 and L6, she was able to learn the more difficult skills easily. Others she trained with were really beautiful gymnasts that scored really well and always placed at the lower levels, but couldn't manage the difficulty needed for the higher levels.

 

[Billy]

Since is has just occurred to me, I imagine others don't realize either. My DD has not skipped any levels since she moved from L2 to L5, either. Granted, she has not done very long seasons, only three or four meets each, but she has competed a season at each level, including state meets.

 

[gymdog]

Since is has just occurred to me, I imagine others don't realize either. My DD has not skipped any levels since she moved from L2 to L5, either. Granted, she has not done very long seasons, only three or four meets each, but she has competed a season at each level, including state meets.

Seasons do differ though. In my state a season is a full year - we don't have fall compulsory season. So you could never compete at L6 states and do L7 in the same school year. Our season runs almost the entire school year. From about Nov-May. So a child that started L4 at 6 would be 10 in L8 if they did a full season of every level. To me it seems pretty crazy to have two seasons but I guess those areas just have adjusted to it and the training cycle is much different.

 

[Billy]

Seasons do differ though. In my state a season is a full year - we don't have fall compulsory season. So you could never compete at L6 states and do L7 in the same school year. Our season runs almost the entire school year. From about Nov-May. So a child that started L4 at 6 would be 10 in L8 if they did a full season of every level. To me it seems pretty crazy to have two seasons but I guess those areas just have adjusted to it and the training cycle is much different.

Generally, our state does compulsories in the fall and optionals, prep-op and AAU in the spring. This year, presumably as a response to the number of compulsory gymnasts competing at random spring meets, they are now having two compulsory seasons with two state meets. Optionals will still be only in the spring. So, once a gymnast hits optionals, she will only do one season per calendar year.

 

[thnkGd4kds]

So, those posters that imply that some of us CB members are jealous of those kids that have elite dream isn't necessariliy true. Some of us have made the decision for our kids that they will NOT train elite even it is what they said they wanted.

. . . and, some of us (me, included) have dd's who have chosen for themselves--at least for now--that the potential elite path is not the way they want to go even though they show the talent, personality, everything, and even though coaches, etc., say that they could . . . (Honestly, I sometimes secretly would love to see her try for elite and sometimes am completely relieved she's not, but, either way, this whole gymnastics thing is all up to her. She's as well-educated in the elite/jo/college-bound choices as she can be for a 10 yo, and I really respect her decision and support her fully no matter what it may be.)

Please, FEM and others, try not to be offended by what others respond. Instead, try to learn what you can and take into account other perspectives. We're all answering from our own experiences, and those experiences are many and varied on cb, fortunately for us all!

 

[triptwister]

Faith breeds courage. As you watch your gymnast grow with self confidence you also experience the joy of watching what happens when she believes in herself. It affirms the preceding belief in your child that you had first. The results are such that not only a parent can appreciate it but also every living soul that challenges human endeavor. When an elite becomes an elite, she finds out that is what she's been all along.

I wanted to broaden the discernment of this post so that you will read into it the intent of its author.

When a child develops faith in themselves it is exhilarating to watch that child overcome the challenges that had beset them. Even fear.

The joy of accomplishment is shared among all witnesses including coaches, teammates, parents, spectators, etc., because vicariously we are all inspired. We live for that. We are moved by the wonder of our children persevering, adapting, and overcoming in order to receive a deserved payoff of success. If they can do it then anything seems possible. The exuberant and passionate expression of happiness that bursts forth with a child's spontaneity is a reflection of the triggered emotion in our own hearts.

We all see and notice your child's progress in a chorus of adulation. It makes us happy and is a privilege to share in their achievements. Thank you parents for sharing your children. Through their accomplishments we experience success for ourselves. Day by day it is a high that feeds our spirits forever.

By saying that an elite was an elite all along then I am calling every child that perseveres, adapts, and overcomes their obstacles, an elite athlete. I'm saying that all gymnasts go through the same process whether they reach the pinnacle or not. I'm saying that an elite effort is required from everyone climbing the mountain because its just as steep at the bottom as it is at the top.

 

[gymdog]

Generally, our state does compulsories in the fall and optionals, prep-op and AAU in the spring. This year, presumably as a response to the number of compulsory gymnasts competing at random spring meets, they are now having two compulsory seasons with two state meets. Optionals will still be only in the spring. So, once a gymnast hits optionals, she will only do one season per calendar year.

Makes sense. I was thinking of what would happen if a girl moved to L6 after one year of L5, and then wasn't ready to do L7 after those six months or so (seems like it would be pretty common). They'd have to either get in spring meets or just work out for a full year.