Parents Feel my daughter is being overlooked

[gymmutti]

There are gyms that will think that 7 is too old - they either pull you in at 4 and 5, or you don't go on their team. Other gyms will have their eye out for kids well past pre-school age who have the characteristics they are looking for (ability to make corrections, listen, focus, good flexibility and/or strength). It sounds like you need to find out which kind of gym your DD is at. If the former, you may have to find a new gym in order to get her on the team track. As others have said, you usually move to pre-team and not directly onto a team (unless you have been on team at another gym).

 

[Determined one]

I do agree that I probably have not been talking to the right people. I don't want to be "that mom" the gym sees as pushy or unrealistic about her child's abilities. She starts the advanced rec team tonight and I will scope it out for a couple of weeks to see how she's doing. If I feel she is bored or progressing fast, I will ask to speak with someone higher up in the gym. To answer some questions, no I have never really been given an answer as to why she can't move on to pre-team. They also never explained to me that she may not have another opportunity after she was asked at 4. I have been looking at other gyms lately.

 

[Midwestmommy]

If she is interested in being on JO team, have her try out at a couple of other gyms. Don't have her languish too long at the gym that won't give her a chance, if team is her goal. She needs to be working on strength, flexibility and shaping at that age. She probably isn't getting that in rec class.

 

[NutterButter]

I do agree that I probably have not been talking to the right people. I don't want to be "that mom" the gym sees as pushy or unrealistic about her child's abilities. She starts the advanced rec team tonight and I will scope it out for a couple of weeks to see how she's doing. If I feel she is bored or progressing fast, I will ask to speak with someone higher up in the gym. To answer some questions, no I have never really been given an answer as to why she can't move on to pre-team. They also never explained to me that she may not have another opportunity after she was asked at 4. I have been looking at other gyms lately.

Letting the gym know that your daughter wants to be on a team is not being "that mom". And being bored or progressing fast in her new class is not relevant to her wanting to be on a team. After a certain point rec classes do not lead to JO and you are already likely past this point with your current gym. DD's gym is like this for JO but they recruit for Excel from advanced and higher rec classes. Don't wait for someone else to mention it to another coach or for her to get discovered again. Talk to the decision makers in your gym and if that doesn't lead to what you want move on. 7 is not too young at all to enter pre-team but she needs to get out of rec classes asap if team is the goal.

 

[Determined one]

Question: is 7 too old for club teams?

 

[gymbeam]

totally depends on the club.

 

[Determined one]

If she is interested in being on JO team, have her try out at a couple of other gyms. Don't have her languish too long at the gym that won't give her a chance, if team is her goal. She needs to be working on strength, flexibility and shaping at that age. She probably isn't getting that in rec class.

 

[my4buffaloes]

I would ask specifically for your dd to be evaluated for team - not during a rec class, but separately. If they do not invite her to team, then try another gym. You are wasting time at this one.

 

[Determined one]

What is JO?

 

[munchkin3]

Definitely talk to someone but be prepared to not get what you want. If your competitive season has started, they may not take on any new team members as they are focusing on the kids competing right now.
Perhaps a very non confrontational ' hey, my DD really wants this, and we are fully committed and aware of the commitment' might put you back on the radar. after meet season, they will move everyone around and that is the time to strike.
At our gym, in order to move from rec. to team, you must be a stand out rec. student. They look for young (7 is young), strong, and well behaved...it seems that the biggest thing though is telling the coaches that you WANT this.

(all this does not matter if you are at a super highly competitive gym)

 

[gymgal]

You really need to just sit down with the coach who makes the team decisions and get a straight answer as to why your dd is not eligible for their team.

If the coach said "she's not ready" for team, that indicates to me that the coaches feel there is some maturity, work ethic, or other issue going on, especially since you are noting that she does have the skills for team. If they feel she is too old, they would have told you that. Gyms that have an age "policy" for team usually are quite honest about it. They will not string you along.

You mentioned she got bored in intermediate. They may have seen some behaviors then that led them to believe she was not mature enough - even if you did not visibly notice any behaviors. And given that the 7/8 coach was impressed and then presumably talked with the other coaches and you have heard nothing since leads me to believe it is not the skills, but something else. Obviously, this is all speculation, not knowing your dd, which is why I would be speaking with the hc (or whoever makes the team decision) to figure out exactly what is holding her back.

As for the coach doing the private lessons and then not paying attention to her at other times, that is pretty common. They are very busy. It is nothing personal. The coach paying more attention to the tv than dd would irritate me and I wouldn't have paid for any more privates after that incident, but it doesn't mean that the coach is against your dd, just that she is not very professional. As for the privates themselves, it is not normal (or desirable) for rec kids having to take privates on a regular basis in order to progress. If that is the policy of the gym, then they are just trying to squeeze money from their families, which is not the typical practice of most good gyms.

One more thought - and please do not take this as an accusation, as I have no idea if this pertains to you but something you need to consider. Some head coaches make decisions about who to put on team based on parent attitudes. If they feel the parent is going to be a major pain to deal with, they will avoid putting the gymnast on team. From your note, it is clear that you are becoming more and more frustrated/irritated. If this is showing in your interactions with the coaches at all, it may be working against your dd.

 

[gymgal]

What is JO?....

Question: is 7 too old for club teams?

"junior Olympic" There are several competing options across the nation. JO and XCEL are governed by USA Gymnastics. There is also AAU a few others. JO is where most of the college gymnasts and elites come from. In most parts of the country, she would need to be in a JO program from the start if she wants to do higher level gymnastics (Levels 7+).

If your gym is doing the Level 3, 4 they are likely doing JO, though it could be AAU as well. XCEL levels are bronze, silver, gold, etc


And, no, 7 is not too old for most gyms but there are some gyms who are very selective and they prefer to train their teams a certain way so they begin with all the same age girls and they don't add any. If you miss that opportunity at that age, there are no other opportunities. I don't think your gym is like this because they would have just told you your dd is too old now. Gyms that have this policy usually don't hide it. You would know.

 

[profmom]

She is determined to get on a competitive team, and at 7 I know she is getting "old", therefore she is doing private lessons to speed up her skill level. She goes about 2-3 times a month for an hour at each lesson.

You and she see it this way. Does the coach? I would have a big problem with a coach doing endless private lessons with a girl whose explicit goal is team if the coach is not committed to moving the girl forward toward team.

You need to understand what is going on at your gym and whether team can happen there for your DD. If not, you should be looking into another gym.

 

[wnl256]

What is JO?

Junior Olympic. It is the USA Gymnastics program that most girls compete in:

https://usagym.org/pages/women/pages/overview_jo.html

This is the program that is split in to numbered levels 1 through 10. As gymgal said, it is the program that many of the collegiate and elite level gymnasts start in.

AAU also has a JO program which is very similar, but when most folks refer to "JO" they are talking about USA Gymnastics JO.

 

[Determined one]

You guys have been wonderful!! I have been struggling with what to do and now I feel that I have a place to start. Gymgal, it's totally ok that you raise the question about my attitude. If anything, I have not been aggressive enough. I am very pleasant to all the coaches and go out of my way not to be a pain
So I think my plan is to talk to one of the head coaches or owner. I will call the gym today to ask who I should meet with.

 

[gymgal]

sounds like a good plan. Let us know how it goes. Let them know you are confused about the path to team and would just like some clarification. That will give you the general idea of how their team works. Then you can be more specific to your dd's case. good luck.

 

[NutterButter]

Yes, let us know how it goes!

 

[Determined one]

Well...well...well. So I called to ask our fabulous desk attendent who I should speak with about this. The head coach just happened to be in the room and she put me on with him. To add to this he told me he would be teaching the Tuesday advanced rec class. He told me he will evaluate her and talk to me after class!! I just want an honest answer. One good thing he said was that he knows who my daughter is. !! He remembered her from before. Ok guys! Wish her luck ton

 

[happychaos]

I would call and speak directly to the level 3/4 coach. Don't even bother with the rec coaches. Have your DD evaluated ASAP by the coach she would have if she joined team. He/she will tell you exactly what your DD is lacking (if anything). Perhaps the team coach would be willing to do privates to get her to where she needs to be.

I would love to believe that being "overlooked" didn't happen, but a friend's DD truly was overlooked in rec. Mom got frustrated, and took her to another gym who placed her on team right away. Within a few months she was a top scorer, and is flying through compulsories.

 

[IreneKa]

Well...well...well. So I called to ask our fabulous desk attendent who I should speak with about this. The head coach just happened to be in the room and she put me on with him. To add to this he told me he would be teaching the Tuesday advanced rec class. He told me he will evaluate her and talk to me after class!! I just want an honest answer. One good thing he said was that he knows who my daughter is. !! He remembered her from before. Ok guys! Wish her luck ton

Good luck! Let us know how to goes!
If he does offer to move her to team\pre-team, make sure to ask if it's a JO team or some other track.