Parents forced a gym switch -are they happy?

[UnoMas]

Yes. I did it twice and both times it all went well!
Adjustment...2 weeks to a month!

 

[sleeping judy]

We did a forced gym switch at the beginning of this past summer. She's 12 and has been at the same gym since she was 4. She cried a lot, did not want to leave her friends. She has adjusted so well. Is so happy and progressing and making friends. I'll be honest, she adjusted better than I did! I still miss my mom friends and will miss traveling with them this year Seriously though the change in her mental health has been such an improvement. It's been like the weight of the world has been lifted off her shoulders.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I would not take a child unless they wanted the switch. I always ask them. Usually that helps to break the ice as well.

 

[sce]

I would not take a child unless they wanted the switch. I always ask them. Usually that helps to break the ice as well.

I have a problem with this, only because kids don't always know what is best for them. The parent may decide there are issues at a gym that require leaving, the child may not comprehend said issues and thus not want to switch gyms or the child may not want to leave because if friends etc, even if the coaching situation is not good.

 

[Mish]

I have a problem with this, only because kids don't always know what is best for them. The parent may decide there are issues at a gym that require leaving, the child may not comprehend said issues and thus not want to switch gyms or the child may not want to leave because if friends etc, even if the coaching situation is not good.

Exactly this. My daughter was 7, had just finished lv. 3 season when we switched. We had been there since she was 4, they chose her right away for pre-team and she was very happy there. The people were lovely, but the more I learned about gymnastics, I realized that she was not getting the training that I felt was adequate (safety, form issues, etc.). I did not know any better so I was trying to give her the choice. That was a big mistake. She stayed for 1/2 the summer after lv 3 states then we made the switch to a gym we had trialed. We did go to old gym to tell them in person (again, I had no idea about all of this stuff then!). I was crying, she was crying, the coaches were crying, but it was all very civil.

It took my daughter a good 2 months to adjust to new gym. She cried a lot. I was questioning myself a lot. I kept telling her to give it a chance and if she hated it by the end of season (looong season in NY), we could look elsewhere. Fast forward, she made a lot of friends, state champ that year and very successful season. She does still miss that gym going on 2 1/2 years later, but knows it was the right choice.

Sorry such a long post. Bottom line, if the child is happy with her friends but doesn't really get the underlying issues, we have to step in and make the choice for them. I honestly think my DD was a little relieved when I took the pressure off of her and said I was making the decision.

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[CLgym]

Couple of thoughts --

We initiated a change in May. DD (age 7 at time) did NOT want to go -- at all -- but needed to leave old gym if she wanted to compete JO. In order to help get her on board, I asked new gym if she could do a trial period (timed it around spring break so old gym would not know) and it really helped for her to see the positives of new gym. We also had a previously schedule vacation following trial period and used that family time to help DD discuss/process the idea of a gym change. In our case, it really helped DD to have that trial period and some extra time to process a move. Something to consider. By the time my DD made the switch, she was ready. She definitely misses old gym (still), but happy to have made the change overall.

We left old gym on good terms and did not just disappear. I understand this is not possible in ever situation, but sometimes it is. I waited until the week before we were leaving, and scheduled a meeting (by email) with DD's coaches. I explained in person that we were leaving and why (to compete JO). They were sad but understanding. I also emailed owner/HC thanking gym for everything (HC even came out of gym on our last day to give hugs and wish DD good luck). We have since bumped into HC and again exchanged hugs and pleasantries. Very glad I was able to coordinate a graceful exit because I know that our paths will continue to cross at meets, etc.

Good luck

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I have a problem with this, only because kids don't always know what is best for them. The parent may decide there are issues at a gym that require leaving, the child may not comprehend said issues and thus not want to switch gyms or the child may not want to leave because if friends etc, even if the coaching situation is not good.

Yep, my daughter begged, pleaded and bargained not to change gyms. Cried like I have never seen her cry.

Swore she would happily commit time that I knew she did not want to, to stay. And every once in a while I ask her if she wants to be in gym on a Saturday afternoon and she says no. And I remind her, if I didn't "make" her switch that is where she would be. She knew within few weeks, the switch was the right thing.

She also told me around that time, she couldn't wait until she grew up and could have as much sugar as she wanted and wouldn't have to eat anything green. At which point I told her good for you but get a good job with a good dental plan.

She also about 6 months after, announced in the supermarket. "Mom, I almost hate to tell you this, but I kinda like salad now."

 

[sce]

She also about 6 months after, announced in the supermarket. "Mom, I almost hate to tell you this, but I kinda like salad now."

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I have a problem with this, only because kids don't always know what is best for them. The parent may decide there are issues at a gym that require leaving, the child may not comprehend said issues and thus not want to switch gyms or the child may not want to leave because if friends etc, even if the coaching situation is not good.

Very true, but the typically the process of me asking a child if they want to switch (even if they are being forced) puts them in position of power. In other words its a bit of reverse phycology. Typically I will ask them if they are okay with trying our gym. I then tell them that after workout if they are not okay with it, I will speak in behalf for them. This is a very good ice breaker and removes the "force" from the switch and empowers the child. And of course I am true to my word and will have the same conversation with the parents. Typically the child who was objecting is unsure at the end of the workout, when I ask them if they would like to try another day, they usually agree. Guys, this is a sport, and we have numerous gyms to pick from,,,, Kids come first.

 

[SHELOVESGYM]

Very true, but the typically the process of me asking a child if they want to switch (even if they are being forced) puts them in position of power. In other words its a bit of reverse phycology. Typically I will ask them if they are okay with trying our gym. I then tell them that after workout if they are not okay with it, I will speak in behalf for them. This is a very good ice breaker and removes the "force" from the switch and empowers the child. And of course I am true to my word and will have the same conversation with the parents. Typically the child who was objecting is unsure at the end of the workout, when I ask them if they would like to try another day, they usually agree. Guys, this is a sport, and we have numerous gyms to pick from,,,, Kids come first.

Also, I think it's probably safe to say that kids rarely want to switch -usually the familiar is better than the unknown. Who wants to be the new girl??? But as others have mentioned sometimes we adults need to make these decisions for our kids -and we are making them for the kids benefit. It would be MUCH easier for me to keep DD at her current gym, but I know that she will not be happy there in the long run and I am choosing to do what I know is best for her even though she might not understand this now

 

[Quadqueen]

I did it when my daughter was 9 and about to start level 7. She fought me and fought me, but there was no way she was going to continue to progress in the old gym. The first couple of days were hard, but within a few months, she thanked me and said she couldn't imagine not being at the new gym. I agree, it gets harder the older they get.

 

[e'smum]

we had a situation in my area where a gym had to close suddenly due to asbestos. the teams (boy and girls) were all over the place at different gyms trying to find times to practice as we were mid meet season. anyway, during that time we had a couple of families permanently move to our gym (the girls and boys team were using our gym a couple of days a week) and for those families it seemed like the newbies settled in rather quickly. they are still with us now and it's like they've been there all along. another girl ended up joining another team and she fit in there immediately. she loved it and bonded quickly with that team. however, it was too far away to be realistic for travel time so she ended up moving to our gym (where some of her old teammates were) during the summer. she had a really hard time adjusting. and rightly so. so right before our first meet myself and another mom set up a ice cream social after practice and i made matching bows for everyone and the other mom bought flip flops and the girls tied ribbon on them to wear at awards. our level 6 team is coming from all over the place. girls from 4 different gyms joining plus the old level 4 girls who moved up to level 6 and a level 6 who is injured so she stayed in 6 while her teammates moved to 7. i was really hoping to create a team atmosphere before the first meet. the old level 6 handed out level 6 pins for the girls to put on their backpacks.
i say this because it was really a unique year for us and sometimes you need to help create a new team atmosphere. even if it's just for your one gymnast.
the ice cream social was a nice time for the moms too. i didn't know who some of them were so now i do. but it really was unique. half our team is new to our gym!

 

[txgymfan]

That's so nice for you and the other mom to take the initiative and help the girls and parents get to know each other.

 

[sleeping judy]

Honestly, I didn't want to leave our last gym. She had good friends there and had them since she was tiny and it was much closer and convenient for me. But we had given it our all and it wasn't a good place for her. I now compare our experience to being in an abusive relationship. You don't realize how truly bad it was until you get out of it. You want to stay because the relationship isn't always bad and sometimes it's really good. It's hard to see what others do until it is behind you. It was even harder to my daughter because it's all she's known.

Everyone kept warning us that the grass is not always greener and we were so anxious about the unknown. What I've learned is sometimes the grass can actually be greener, but getting over that fence is pretty tough It took her the whole summer to be truly comfortable. I hadn't realized how beaten down she was and I feel bad. She now has opened up to her coaches and chats and is back to being her silly confident, comfortable self.