Parents Frustrated that DD *STILL* doesn't have her level yet!

[flippin out]

Honestly, I feel as though a lot of words have been placed into my mouth and judgments have been made in this thread. I haven't been here long and basically feel this isn't a place I am comfortable expressing myself without getting jumped on.

I think I must have missed something in this thread! I'll have to go back and re-read. I don't think that I saw gymmonkeymomma putting words in anyones mouth or making judgements on you? I don't think she mentioned you at all in the post that you quoted? Am I missing something?

 

[gymjourneymom]

Since I was addressing the OP and not you personally, I'm not sure why you feel words have been placed in your mouth!

Gymnastics is not cheap, I think we all know that. My point was, as a parent going into my children's 8th year of competiton, I have learn to budget both time and money to EXPECT THE WORSE. We juggle 3 kids and their activities. I start each September by blocking out ALL WEEKENDS where there are activities, as soon as possible. If a kid's schedule is up in the air, I block out ALL POSSIBILITIES - therefore, I make sure that we are covered either by DH, myself, or if necessary, a friend or family member. As for the money, yes of course I'd rather have it in my pocket, but to be honest, in my pocket, it might be spent elsewhere. In my daughter's comp account, I know it is "safe" and it is there for her whether it be for this season or next. Bank interest is next to nothing now, so not really a concern over the 20 cents I'd lose!

Dunno has summed it up best, by saying that gymnastics is unpredictable!

Amen! Obviously you are someone who "gets it" GMM. I can tell you are a parent who has been around this sport & has a lot of great advice to share! And you say it much clearer than I do. Thank you!!! You are truly a heartfelt member of this community! I welcome reading your advice!!!

 

[bogwoppit]

Admin Hat on...I have given out a warning to Pickle's Mom, please feel free to disagree with each other, but please do keep it polite.


Carry on people.

 

[sleeping judy]

Since I was addressing the OP and not you personally, I'm not sure why you feel words have been placed in your mouth!

Gymnastics is not cheap, I think we all know that. My point was, as a parent going into my children's 8th year of competiton, I have learn to budget both time and money to EXPECT THE WORSE. We juggle 3 kids and their activities. I start each September by blocking out ALL WEEKENDS where there are activities, as soon as possible. If a kid's schedule is up in the air, I block out ALL POSSIBILITIES - therefore, I make sure that we are covered either by DH, myself, or if necessary, a friend or family member. As for the money, yes of course I'd rather have it in my pocket, but to be honest, in my pocket, it might be spent elsewhere. In my daughter's comp account, I know it is "safe" and it is there for her whether it be for this season or next. Bank interest is next to nothing now, so not really a concern over the 20 cents I'd lose!

Dunno has summed it up best, by saying that gymnastics is unpredictable!

Oh rats, my apologies! I responded to your quote with my first paragraph. My second paragraph was just a general statement not directed at you whatsoever! I appreciated how you responded.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

Oh rats, my apologies! I responded to your quote with my first paragraph. My second paragraph was just a general statement not directed at you whatsoever! I appreciated how you responded.

Thank you! I understand how sometimes quotes and things don't always work well!

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

Amen! Obviously you are someone who "gets it" GMM. I can tell you are a parent who has been around this sport & has a lot of great advice to share! And you say it much clearer than I do. Thank you!!! You are truly a heartfelt member of this community! I welcome reading your advice!!!

GROUP HUG! LOL!

I don't post very often but I do try to offer helpful info based on experience... When I was a "new" mom, I had alot of frustrations too, I just think it is the nature of the sport - the unpredictability when it comes to your child, their skills, the coaches, the meet schedules, and last but not least, the REPORT TIMES!!! That drove me nuts! But I have learned to "go with the flow" as not to make myself nuts. That's why I over-plan, over-budget. It's the only way to make it work!

 

[JessMom]

I second that....Group hug

With written word its easy to misread intent.
And moms, including me, tend to be very defensive when they feel there parenting is being criticized or judged.

I got a bad vibe from this thread early on and almost didn't respond.

It maybe helpful to reread what has been posted. I don't think anyone's intent was to judge anyone...but I can understand how it can be misinterpreted

((((Group Hug))))) lets play nice and move on

 

[gymjourneymom]

You are right. I don't know you. But I do know the basics of constructive conversations and human compassion. And bragging that you have never missed a child's meet in a thread where someone is looking for commiseration doesn't actually meet either of those.

I did feel attacked by your posts. Basically it sounded like you were saying that I was a bad mom because once I went to India for work and missed a child's meet and that you think Chalkbucket has "changed and not for the better" potentially since I joined.

If you really want to pass along knowledge and help, I suggest you look at how you phrase your posts.

Really??? Seriously??? I honestly have no clue where you are coming from with this.

No, I don't think you are a bad mom for going to India. Don't know how you got that from anything a stranger posted on a pubic website?!? Yes, I did say CB has changed over the years... because it has. But I didn't say it was due to you personally. I honestly don't know where you are coming from with this attack on me? I have NOT attacked ANYONE personally. I've only tried to present what I have learned over the years from situations very similar to that of the OP.

Although I feel I'm the one due an apology. In the spirit of community, I would like to publicly apologize to anyone who felt "attacked" by anything I said in this thread. This is a topic I have much experience with, so I did take it to heart because I felt I had something useful to offer. Obviously I was mistaken, I am sorry.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

I can only tell you what bothered me about your posts.

If someone else is writing about their pain, I try not to respond to them by saing "I don't have pain". In my opinion, you did that twice in this thread. The first when you stated (and I felt it was in a bragging way) that you have managed never to miss a child's meet, even though it's likely that many other people have due to circumstances beyond their control and the second when you began to talk about your yoga and your zen state of mind.

So, I'm curious, why would you have considered those comments to be helpful based on the original post?

In addition, I am very interested in what you feel you deserve an apology for. Perhaps I do owe you one. Was something I said offensive to you?

 

[bogwoppit]

Admin hat again....

This thread needs to get back on topic ASAP. If you two ladies needs to talk, GJM and Pickles Mom, take it to PM.

 

[gymjourneymom]

I can only tell you what bothered me about your posts.

If someone else is writing about their pain, I try not to respond to them by saing "I don't have pain". In my opinion, you did that twice in this thread. The first when you stated (and I felt it was in a bragging way) that you have managed never to miss a child's meet, even though it's likely that many other people have due to circumstances beyond their control and the second when you began to talk about your yoga and your zen state of mind.

So, I'm curious, why would you have considered those comments to be helpful based on the original post?

In addition, I am very interested in what you feel you deserve an apology for. Perhaps I do owe you one. Was something I said offensive to you?

Pickle's mom, I've already apologized. I'm moving on. Trixiebelle I truly wish your DD a successful meet season! Please keep us posted on the outcome of the coaches decision.

 

[maryRS]

I didn't start this thread and it's not really my issue, as our levels are determined late summer, before the fall schedules go out, but I would be annoyed if I didn't know because here the level can and does affect your training schedule, and that can and does affect my work scheduling, which I also have to coordinate with my older boys and their sports and activities, and my college son, and trying to make a few of his somewhat local soccer games. It may seem like not a big deal, but knowing that my daughter practices a certain 3 days after school is an issue in planning all this. Like I said, it's not my issue and I will say thank goodness I am able to plan better. You just seem very dismissive to understanding why someone could have problems with this. Saying things like if finances are a concern maybe it's no the sport for you is a pretty rough statement especially in this economic climate. I myself am a planner and like to have all my affairs together for as much as I possibly can, because I do know things always come up.

I don't think anyone here is saying they won't find a way to make it work if it's one level over another, they seem to be just saying they would like to know for planning purposes.

I totally agree with you. You are making my point VERY clearly! If your kid is going to do this sport & you are supportive of it, why does a parent "need" to know the level the gymnast is going to compete before the coach is ready to make that determination??? It's obvious the gymnast & coach are still working to find the BEST placement...please just be patient. I doubt anyone is trying to keep any major secrets from you! They honestly just want to give your kid time to make it to that next level. They are trying to HELP your child by giving them a chance to move up!!! Let the coach & the child do what they need to do.

I don't understand why the "financial aspect" or "scheduling aspect" would have anything to do with parents needing to have level determination done by a "specific date"? What I'm saying is, that if a child is between 2 levels & the parents need to know right now "for financial reasons" or "scheduling reasons" then maybe this sport isn't for that family. If one of the options is such a hardship, then how will they EVER be able to move forward in this sport?

Just as an example: If the coach were to tell a L6 parent(who has been waiting for a level determination) tomorrow, "Your child is moving to L7 next week". Well, obviously the parent knows tonight the child is in between L6 & L7. So neither level determination should be a HUGE shock. If you can't afford L7 or can't make the meets the optionals have scheduled you know that now...tonight. What would your plans be? We will find a why to make it work for either level or if she's moving up we can't make it work??? If you are going to find a way to make it work either way...then it shouldn't matter to the parents what level she competes. That's what I'm trying to say. Just wait & be prepared for either decision.

I'm like you, I have ALWAYS found a way to make it work for my DD & I'm not saying that it's been easy. But we find a way to make it work no matter what. That's why I don't care that I don't know what level my DD is going to compete. I will make it work no matter what level she does.

This is why I really don't understand this thread? If the parents aren't going to be able to find a way to make it work NO MATTER WHAT LEVEL the child competes. Then what is the point of having your child in this sport?

It shouldn't matter to the parents what level the child is going to compete. Either let it go & let the coach do their job or pin the coach down to a decision, but then don't complain about that decision later. I'm willing to bet you will find out the level in plenty of time before the 1st meet anyway. And no matter level the child competes...the meet sessions aren't determined until a couple of weeks prior to the meet anyway. So unless the 1st meet is this weekend or next, I don't see a problem with letting the gymnast & the coach keep plugging along & doing their thing. When they've decided on the proper level placement, I'm sure you will be the 1st to know. JMHO.

The OP asked it anyone else has been in her situation regarding level determination. I'm a seasoned gym mom who's been through this more than a few times before. I've tried to share what I've learned through some rather difficult times. But now I'm just about ready to stop posting on CB...this place sure has changed. People used to appreciate advice from parents who had been there & done that. Now I feel like I'm just wasting my time trying to share what I've learned over the years. Good luck to you all! Hope your kids have a great season no matter what level they end up competing.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

Ignoring everything else that has transpired on this post (just for the record, gymjourneymom, I don't see anything wrong w/your responses either), Dunno has summed it up succinctly. Gymnastics is a sport where the "unknown" is the only thing known!!!! Gosh, I wish I had a dollar for everything that happened during my DD's gym career that was unexpected.... mental blocks rising unexpectedly, injuries too numerous to count at the moment, levels being determined at the last minute, expenses due that were more than I anticipated... well, you see where I am going!!!! As parents, the best thing we can do is to try not to let our kiddos in on our frustrations w/this crazy sport.

So yes, to the original poster, most of us have been in your shoes!! Flexbility is REQUIRED in this sport!! HAHAHAHA!

 

[Chocoholic]

I think we all realize that flexibility is required in gymnastics and feeling frustrated serves little purpose. However, we're all human and I know that sometimes I can't suppress negative feelings. And sometimes those feelings, despite being unhelpful, are actually justified! I think that's what happened with this thread. It was like two ships passing in the night. The OP was talking about her feeling of frustration and why it was important to her to find out the level information as soon as possible. Some of the responders talked about the impossibility in gymnastics of knowing certain things far in advance. I don't think the OP was seeking to redesign her gym's level selection process. She was venting, expressing her emotions. Just because we know that our bus is late 50% of the time doesn't mean we might not be frustrated when we're standing outside in the pouring rain waiting for it to arrive. And when she complains to her friends she may not want to hear them tell her to calm down, doesn't she know that bus is never on time.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Flexibility is required by more than just the gymnast! LOL It has taken me a very long time to not get upset at all the uncertainty. For my sanity I have had do like another poster said - block off all possible dates for meets and then when we end up with a free weekend be grateful. Although the time slot thing can be scary and there are many weekends that both my dh and I are praying she doesn't compete at a certain time because we don't know how we would get her there if that was when her time slot fell.

I can't imagine not knowing what level my dd was at just weeks before meet season began, so I totally feel for the original poster. With 4 kids it is difficult enough to juggle everyone's schedule when we know what it is - to not know so close in advance to a meet has got to be so frustrating.

If you have a major conflict a specific weekend that the first meet might be then possibly talk to the coach and let him know what is going on and try to find out when they might know so you can better plan. Hopefully they will understand the need to know. As hard as I try to be flexible and understanding it is still hard sometimes. I hope you find out your dd's level very soon.

 

[flipper's fan]

Different situations at different gyms. The scenario Dunno describes is how many coaches handle what level a girl will compete, but some gyms train different levels on different days and have strict inflexible rules on when a child moves. If you are at a gym that has hard and fast rules and practices on different days, chances are you aren't very invested in this thread.

There are a lot of things that are frustrating in being a gymnast's family, most of them don't really matter that much in the big picture, and we all have different levels of tolerance for uncertainty.

I hope you get your answers soon. I bet it will be in time for the meet.

I have found it frustrating to arrive at the host gym and find my daughter not registered for the meet, but it has worked out. ( Maybe she had been registered on a different level ) Another parent on my team needed a long walk in the fresh air when it happened to her daughter. I've been working at a home meet when the coach has brought in her team and said "Oh this girl just moved up to level X" while the girl is standing with her all ready to compete. I juggled, she competed. And a nice glass of wine or a dip in the hot tub make all that day's frustration disappear. Calgon...take me away!