Parents Frustrated that DD *STILL* doesn't have her level yet!

[Deleted member D3987]

when will my suzie learn her kip...

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I’m slightly annoyed by the response of some coaches on this post.

I work in a hospital and have to deal with patient family members asking about how their loved one is progressing and this sometimes involves questioning my thinking as it pertains to their family. This is their RIGHT. I am working directly with their family and they have every right to question my methods. And while I might think that what they are asking is silly, it is not my right to question. If I do not like this, I have every opportunity to find a new job

You can apply this same situation to coaching. While I do not know much about gymnastics, it is my right to question and for you to patiently respond. I will be respectful as possible, but please remember, you are instructing my child. If you do not like this, I’m sure there are plenty of other fields for you to work in that you will not be “annoyed” by being questioned. Perhaps you should try judging.

when will my suzie learn her kip...

will my suzie die trying to learn her kip...

 

[mumoftwogymnasts]

I don't understand why the "financial aspect" or "scheduling aspect" would have anything to do with parents needing to have level determination done by a "specific date"?

Well in a perfect world it would not matter but unfortunately sometimes the "scheduling aspect" does matter. If you are trying to arrange work rosters/hours and juggle that around a gymnastic schedule it matters. Employers work to specific dates. Some work places have the ability to be flexible and accomodate changes at the last minute, others do not. Not all of us are able to juggle things at the last minute, no matter how much we may want to.

f your kid is going to do this sport & you are supportive of it, why does a parent "need" to know the level the gymnast is going to compete before the coach is ready to make that determination??? It's obvious the gymnast & coach are still working to find the BEST placement...please just be patient. I doubt anyone is trying to keep any major secrets from you! They honestly just want to give your kid time to make it to that next level. They are trying to HELP your child by giving them a chance to move up!!! Let the coach & the child do what they need to do.

I agree with the point you are making. But I think the coach also needs to acknowledge and respect that gymnastics does not exist in a vacuum. In an ideal world we could arrange the rest of a gymnast, and their families life, around the gym schedule - in reality it is often a bit more difficult to juggle everything. Yes we should let the coach and the child do what they need to do, but there also needs to be some understanding on the coaches part that not everyone has the luxury of an indefinite time frame.

 

[lhmom]

This thread makes me very relieved that the coaches at DD's gym pretty much "set in stone" the level progression. Any movement between levels occurs in the spring and everyone is aware of that. I can imagine the frustration though, especially when there are other kids' schedules involved.

 

[lhmom]

when will my suzie learn her kip...

will my suzie die trying to learn her kip...

My "Susie" has her kip. Lol! Didn't even have to ask...

 

[JessMom]

Title say is all! DD's coach still has not notified them of the levels they will compete this season! She is debating USAIGC "Silver" or Level 7...

Anyone else go through this?

I understand. We are not just talking about levels but 2 separate competition organizations. I don't think they are trying to drive you crazy but probably are trying to figure out which would be the better fit for the year. We did IGC Silver between Lvl 6 & Lvl 7 and it was a nice transition.

DD used very similar routines for silver & 7. Just changing skills as she gets them cleaner. In optionals the routines and the skills change all season.

Hang in there.

I want to add as parents or just as individuals we have a right to feel frustrated or any other emotion and no one should question or judge that. the OP was just expressing a frustration and looking for some support.

 

[Krystan]

I want to add as parents or just as individuals we have a right to feel frustrated or any other emotion and no one should question or judge that. the OP was just expressing a frustration and looking for some support.

I agree! I don't think the OP was in any way insinuating that the coaches were being unfair or that they should make-up-their-minds-already. She wasn't even asking for advice. She was simply griping about a common problem and hoping for support and understanding from those who had similar situations.

And really, you're all right! The coaches DO need to wait until they're sure, the level IS just a number and doesn't really matter, but the parents DO really need to schedule the rest of their lives around the decision. So it's all true and it's good to hear from all sides. Doesn't change it, but maybe it helps to understand?

 

[gymjourneymom]

I understand. We are not just talking about levels but 2 separate competition organizations. I don't think they are trying to drive you crazy but probably are trying to figure out which would be the better fit for the year. We did IGC Silver between Lvl 6 & Lvl 7 and it was a nice transition.

DD used very similar routines for silver & 7. Just changing skills as she gets them cleaner. In optionals the routines and the skills change all season.

Hang in there.

I want to add as parents or just as individuals we have a right to feel frustrated or any other emotion and no one should question or judge that. the OP was just expressing a frustration and looking for some support.

I was trying to be supportive. I understand the OP's frustration completely...better then you can ever imagine! I'm actually in the same position with my DD right now! That is why I've taken so much time posting on this thread. But I'm NOT frustrated about it because I've learned some important lessons for myself from my DD being involved in this sport. Most importantly it is HER sport not mine. I've learned from EXPERIENCE & I'm trying to help the OP by sharing my experience & what I've learned. I've learned I can be as frustrated as I want, it's a choice. I can let the coach do what is best for my child or I can push for a decision on MY timetable. But I've learned that may end up not being the best decision because I pushed for it before the coach & my DD were ready to really make it. So this time I KNOW to just let the coach take his time. I trust his decision & I know he will tell me as soon as HE knows HIMSELF.

That's my point in all that I've typed...if she, the OP, knows the coach has her child's best interest at heart...then let it go & stop being frustrated. She will be made aware when the time is right & I'm positive the coach will let her know in time for the 1st meet.

But I suppose trying to shared what I've learned is a waste of my time...I always thought it was CB was suppose to be about.

So go ahead...be as frustrated as you want. Of course you have the "right" to be frustrated. I'm just telling you(like Dunno said)...it really doesn't matter, so don't stress over it. Being frustrated is a waste of your time & a drain on your energy. Let your DD have the time & chance her coach is trying to give her. The coach is trying to help your DD, you should be appreciative of that chance, instead of frustrated. That's how I'm looking at the SAME situation right now! I trust my DD's coach to choose the best level for her, so I'm waiting patiently until they(my DD & the coach) come to that decision. Once I'm informed I will make it work no matter what...I'm saving my energy for that . It's all in a person's perspective. Maybe it's the yoga I've been taking...I have a very Zen outlook. And I'm trying to destress my life. Maybe it's time I cut CB loose. I really don't need this stress when I'm only trying to help someone.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

I understand. We are not just talking about levels but 2 separate competition organizations. I don't think they are trying to drive you crazy but probably are trying to figure out which would be the better fit for the year. We did IGC Silver between Lvl 6 & Lvl 7 and it was a nice transition.

DD used very similar routines for silver & 7. Just changing skills as she gets them cleaner. In optionals the routines and the skills change all season.

Hang in there.

I want to add as parents or just as individuals we have a right to feel frustrated or any other emotion and no one should question or judge that. the OP was just expressing a frustration and looking for some support.

I had an entire response typed up yesterday but my computer ate it.

My girls have done both USAG and USAIGC and this is the point I was going to address. You are talking about 2 different organizations. Not only, as JessMom pointed, might USAIGC Silver be a nice transition, there could also be a downside as well. In our experience, there are clubs who put their Level 8's in Silver, for whatever reason. In competition, this may prove to be discouraging to a 'new' level 7.

Many responses above mention time and finances, depending on how your club runs, there could be a big difference between your commitment for USAG vs. USAIGC (usually 1-2 meets to qualify to States, no sectionals). Personally, I would plan for more (time and $), be surprised if it's less

With all that said, however, some gyms/coaches are more open to discussions with parents, or giving parents/gymnasts concrete expectations (x and y skill by a certain date). Others are not. If you are not happy with your current situation, whichever it may be, then it seems like it might be time to re-evaulate the 'big picture'.

 

[gymjourneymom]

I had an entire response typed up yesterday but my computer ate it.

My girls have done both USAG and USAIGC and this is the point I was going to address. You are talking about 2 different organizations. Not only, as JessMom pointed, might USAIGC Silver be a nice transition, there could also be a downside as well. In our experience, there are clubs who put their Level 8's in Silver, for whatever reason. In competition, this may prove to be discouraging to a 'new' level 7.

Many responses above mention time and finances, depending on how your club runs, there could be a big difference between your commitment for USAG vs. USAIGC (usually 1-2 meets to qualify to States, no sectionals). Personally, I would plan for more (time and $), be surprised if it's less

With all that said, however, some gyms/coaches are more open to discussions with parents, or giving parents/gymnasts concrete expectations (x and y skill by a certain date). Others are not. If you are not happy with your current situation, whichever it may be, then it seems like it might be time to re-evaulate the 'big picture'.

Thank you for this post! Totally agree!

 

[Pickle's Mom]

when will my suzie learn her kip...

Dunno - This is incredibly unfair. This post is not about when Suzie will get her kip, but when Suzie's mom can plan the family's calendar, solidify her work schedule, and budget the family's finances.

We all want gymnasts and their coaches to have the luxury to progress at their own pace. But sometimes, it is legimately hard when not knowing it negatively impacts the lives of your other children because you don't know if you can need to hire a sitter or save that money or not make those other weekend plans.

 

[Trixiebelle]

Wow. It didn't expect this go quite this way. I guess I was looking more for "yeah we are in the same boat here, it stinks but what can you do?" and less "you are getting too worked up over it and harming your kid by trying to force a level on her". I checked my posts and I never said dd's gym or coach were not a good fit or doing things incorrectly and I do understand the waiting process -to a degree.

Perhaps had I phrased my frustrations at the unknown element of the logistics - ie - where will dd be competing and when is her first meet I would have conveyed my feelings better. And for the record, this is not about challenging a coach on a skill. To sum it up - a decision HAS to be made as to where/when DD is competing, be it 3 weeks or the night before. As a parent who facilitates those competitions with regards to providing transportation and financing, I would prefer to have that decision few weeks prior to the competition date rather than the night before.

In addition, the gym gave us a schedule indicating the first level 7 meet would be Nov 20th and seeing as how DD had yet to learn her optional floor routine I do worry that it is adding unnecessary stress to cram it in prior to that first meet. But I have to defer to the coach on that one and assume that with her 20+ years of coaching and the hours she has spent with my DD, she knows best.

Again, I want to state that I, as well as my daughter, love the gym and the coaching staff. I have been thrilled with how the gym and HC have helped my daughter through her injury and I am not debating the level itself. I just was venting with fellow gym parents how this is a frustrating thing for ME (not DD) to experience.

Gymjourneymom - I do appreciate hearing from those who have been through it. I think that when posting messages on a BB, nuances can often be lost and sentiments misconstrued. Take for example dunno's post re "when will suzie get her kip" - it could easily be construed as being snarky, but I know that wasn't the intent.

Thanks for ALL the insight shared here. And I'll be sure to update when the decision is made!

 

[Pickle's Mom]

I was trying to be supportive. I understand the OP's frustration completely...better then you can ever imagine! I'm actually in the same position with my DD right now! That is why I've taken so much time posting on this thread. But I'm NOT frustrated about it because I've learned some important lessons for myself from my DD being involved in this sport. Most importantly it is HER sport not mine. I've learned from EXPERIENCE & I'm trying to help the OP by sharing my experience & what I've learned. I've learned I can be as frustrated as I want, it's a choice. I can let the coach do what is best for my child or I can push for a decision on MY timetable. But I've learned that may end up not being the best decision because I pushed for it before the coach & my DD were ready to really make it. So this time I KNOW to just let the coach take his time. I trust his decision & I know he will tell me as soon as HE knows HIMSELF.

With all due respect, I don't think you do understand. If I only worked weekends, it wouldn't be as much of a problem. If I could say "it just doesn't matter how this $300 of family money is spent", it wouldn't be as much of a problem.

To say "it doesn't really matter" is not understanding what is happening. To say that people should reconsider keeping their child in a sport because they need to think how $300 is spent or they might actually want to be able to figure out a family calendar for the next few months that allows for the activities of other children is not understanding. In fact, it's horribly insensitive to the pressures that many families face.

And frankly, saying how great you personally are because you've had the luxury of never missing a child's meet and you do yoga and are zen is not particularly helpful either. I suggest you look at your own advice. If just reading about another parent's frustration causes you "stress", it seems like you are not quite as zen as you would like us to believe.

 

[sleeping judy]

I had an entire response typed up yesterday but my computer ate it.

My girls have done both USAG and USAIGC and this is the point I was going to address. You are talking about 2 different organizations. Not only, as JessMom pointed, might USAIGC Silver be a nice transition, there could also be a downside as well. In our experience, there are clubs who put their Level 8's in Silver, for whatever reason. In competition, this may prove to be discouraging to a 'new' level 7.

Many responses above mention time and finances, depending on how your club runs, there could be a big difference between your commitment for USAG vs. USAIGC (usually 1-2 meets to qualify to States, no sectionals). Personally, I would plan for more (time and $), be surprised if it's less

With all that said, however, some gyms/coaches are more open to discussions with parents, or giving parents/gymnasts concrete expectations (x and y skill by a certain date). Others are not. If you are not happy with your current situation, whichever it may be, then it seems like it might be time to re-evaulate the 'big picture'.

Thank you for putting this a lot more nicely than others on this thread. As far as the financial aspect, I am totally fine planning to pay more and being surprised with less. However, I would really prefer to not actually pay hundreds of dollars more and wait for a refund. I would rather have that money in my possession earning interest in MY bank account. My point was that we have already passed our deadline to pay our fees and I ended up having to pay for the higher level.

I also don't think somethng like not knowing my daughter's level would cause me to re-evaluate the gym. A minor annoyance for me? Yes. Do I lose sleep over it? No.

Honestly, I feel as though a lot of words have been placed into my mouth and judgments have been made in this thread. I haven't been here long and basically feel this isn't a place I am comfortable expressing myself without getting jumped on.

 

[gymjourneymom]

Thank you for your post Trixiebelle! I think I've been posting here long enough to people to know I'm only trying to help, with my long rambling post. Maybe I should have just said "Yeah I've been there too". But I was trying to go to the next level & pass along what I've come to learn over the years. Maybe I should just keep my responses short like Dunno's. But then some people take his post wrong also. For some reason I can always "get" what Dunno is saying no matter how few words he uses!

I wish you & your DD all the best. Really, I was just trying to help you learn to let it go. I KNOW it can be frustrating, really I do! But save that energy for when the final decision is made. That is when you job of "making it work, no matter what" for the sake of your child needs to kick in. And THAT will be time & energy WELL spent! I HAVE been there & this is what I've learned & how I'm dealing with the same situation THIS time. JMHO.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

thank you for knowing me well enough that my remark was NOT snarky. i understand the logistics. it is also not fair for you to find out the night before. that would be crazy, although i know it happens.

my point was that you can't predict ANYTHING in gymnastics. and coaches wait as long as they can because of the consequences involved in between the levels. 5/6 are pretty similar. the jump to 7 is difficult.

example: the kid is targeted to compete level 7. she's just a couple of skills from that AND a floor routine needs to be done. and time is running out. the coach has to decide maybe level 6, which the girl has not done since last season and risk the scores being awful and making the kid look bad and giving an appearance that she hasn't been training, or put her in at 7 with incomplete routines and making the kid look bad and giving the appearance that she hasn't been training. lose, lose. understand?
then parents get all agitated. and the kid is between the coach and her parents.

what would be better is the coach telling you what she is going to do (a plan) and move forward and test the waters. and everyone understanding that there are NO expectations. then let the coach handle the outcome and the kid.

if gymnastics were easy...they'd call it some other sport.

 

[gymjourneymom]

With all due respect, I don't think you do understand. If I only worked weekends, it wouldn't be as much of a problem. If I could say "it just doesn't matter how this $300 of family money is spent", it wouldn't be as much of a problem.

To say "it doesn't really matter" is not understanding what is happening. To say that people should reconsider keeping their child in a sport because they need to think how $300 is spent or they might actually want to be able to figure out a family calendar for the next few months that allows for the activities of other children is not understanding. In fact, it's horribly insensitive to the pressures that many families face.

And frankly, saying how great you personally are because you've had the luxury of never missing a child's meet and you do yoga and are zen is not particularly helpful either. I suggest you look at your own advice. If just reading about another parent's frustration causes you "stress", it seems like you are not quite as zen as you would like us to believe.

Hmm? Did I personally attack you in some way? You obviously don't know me at all. Just like I don't know you. As I posted above I have always felt strongly about CB & it being a community for people to share what they have learned. I share from my heart to try & help. CB has changed over the years, so have I. I have learned so much here & I'm trying to give back to the CB community. If I had just said "Yeah I know how you feel" it would not have been honest. I DO know how the OP feels & I have learned from how I dealt with it in the past. I was trying to pass along knowledge not just support, as I thought that was one of the goals of this site.

CB has changed. And not for the better I'm afraid. I'm done here. Bye!

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

Thank you for putting this a lot more nicely than others on this thread. As far as the financial aspect, I am totally fine planning to pay more and being surprised with less. However, I would really prefer to not actually pay hundreds of dollars more and wait for a refund. I would rather have that money in my possession earning interest in MY bank account. My point was that we have already passed our deadline to pay our fees and I ended up having to pay for the higher level.

I also don't think somethng like not knowing my daughter's level would cause me to re-evaluate the gym. A minor annoyance for me? Yes. Do I lose sleep over it? No.

Honestly, I feel as though a lot of words have been placed into my mouth and judgments have been made in this thread. I haven't been here long and basically feel this isn't a place I am comfortable expressing myself without getting jumped on.

Since I was addressing the OP and not you personally, I'm not sure why you feel words have been placed in your mouth!

Gymnastics is not cheap, I think we all know that. My point was, as a parent going into my children's 8th year of competiton, I have learn to budget both time and money to EXPECT THE WORSE. We juggle 3 kids and their activities. I start each September by blocking out ALL WEEKENDS where there are activities, as soon as possible. If a kid's schedule is up in the air, I block out ALL POSSIBILITIES - therefore, I make sure that we are covered either by DH, myself, or if necessary, a friend or family member. As for the money, yes of course I'd rather have it in my pocket, but to be honest, in my pocket, it might be spent elsewhere. In my daughter's comp account, I know it is "safe" and it is there for her whether it be for this season or next. Bank interest is next to nothing now, so not really a concern over the 20 cents I'd lose!

Dunno has summed it up best, by saying that gymnastics is unpredictable!

 

[flippin out]

With all due respect, I don't think you do understand. If I only worked weekends, it wouldn't be as much of a problem. If I could say "it just doesn't matter how this $300 of family money is spent", it wouldn't be as much of a problem.

To say "it doesn't really matter" is not understanding what is happening. To say that people should reconsider keeping their child in a sport because they need to think how $300 is spent or they might actually want to be able to figure out a family calendar for the next few months that allows for the activities of other children is not understanding. In fact, it's horribly insensitive to the pressures that many families face.

And frankly, saying how great you personally are because you've had the luxury of never missing a child's meet and you do yoga and are zen is not particularly helpful either. I suggest you look at your own advice. If just reading about another parent's frustration causes you "stress", it seems like you are not quite as zen as you would like us to believe.

WOW!! What's with the personal attack??? I really don't see the need for this. I didn't read anywhere where gymjourneymom attacked you at all. What's with the nastiness? It sounded like gymjourneymom was just sharing her own personal experiences....then you attack about her not being so 'ZEN'. WTH? Can't anyone play nice?

 

[Pickle's Mom]

Hmm? Did I personally attack you in some way? You obviously don't know me at all. Just like I don't know you. As I posted above I have always felt strongly about CB & it being a community for people to share what they have learned. I share from my heart to try & help. CB has changed over the years, so have I. I have learned so much here & I'm trying to give back to the CB community. If I had just said "Yeah I know how you feel" it would not have been honest. I DO know how the OP feels & I have learned from how I dealt with it in the past. I was trying to pass along knowledge not just support, as I thought that was one of the goals of this site.

CB has changed. And not for the better I'm afraid. I'm done here. Bye!

You are right. I don't know you. But I do know the basics of constructive conversations and human compassion. And bragging that you have never missed a child's meet in a thread where someone is looking for commiseration doesn't actually meet either of those.

I did feel attacked by your posts. Basically it sounded like you were saying that I was a bad mom because once I went to India for work and missed a child's meet and that you think Chalkbucket has "changed and not for the better" potentially since I joined.

If you really want to pass along knowledge and help, I suggest you look at how you phrase your posts.