Great videos on fear issues in gymnastics

[gymjourneymom]

I posted this in the parent forum. Then I thought gymnasts & coaches would benefit most from watching them, so decided I should post them here too. My DD has over come many fear issues following the teachings of Alison Arnold. I recently found an 8 segment video series on www.gymnastike.org . It gives a great over view of the way she deals with fear issues in gymnastics. Go to this web site, click on videos. Then do a search for Alison Arnold or Doc Ali. I think she really explains fear issues well. And her techniques have really helped my DD! Hope some of you find this as helpful as DD & I have!

 

[pixie flips]

Hey, thanks for the tip! I'm going to watch them now.
Good timing too. My DD is dealing with beam issues after a crash recently.

Thanks again!

 

[floorlover14]

Thank you so much! I need to watch this right now. I am going through a terrible mental block on my ROBHS, caused by a crash, after having it for a year.

 

[gymjourneymom]

Thank you so much! I need to watch this right now. I am going through a terrible mental block on my ROBHS, caused by a crash, after having it for a year.

Hope you were able to find them ok, I'm not that tech savvy. Did you get a chance to watch all 8 vids? Each one isn't that long, but full of important & useful info. Hope you found some part of them that spoke to you. Good luck & keep on going for that ROBHS! You CAN do it!

 

[gymluvr33]

Thank you so much! I just had a scary fall on bars on fri., and I've been trying not to get too freaked out until my practice on Monday. These video's really helped. I haven't gotten to see all of them yet, but I hope to soon.

 

[floorlover14]

I was able to watch most of them. They are very encouraging! Thank you!!!

 

[gymjourneymom]

Thank you so much! I just had a scary fall on bars on fri., and I've been trying not to get too freaked out until my practice on Monday. These video's really helped. I haven't gotten to see all of them yet, but I hope to soon.

So glad you found the videos helpful! Gymnasts can have fear issues/mental blocks for many reasons or for no reason at all. The videos cover all the scenarios. Something for everyone! Even if you find just one piece of advice in them, that helps you rebuild your confidence on bars, I'll be happy! Good luck at practice today! Remember you CAN do it!

 

[gymluvr33]

So glad you found the videos helpful! Gymnasts can have fear issues/mental blocks for many reasons or for no reason at all. The videos cover all the scenarios. Something for everyone! Even if you find just one piece of advice in them, that helps you rebuild your confidence on bars, I'll be happy! Good luck at practice today! Remember you CAN do it!

Thanks, I went back to practice today, and even though I didn't make any of my giants over, I just focused on being more comfortable doing them, and getting my confidence back. Now I can't wait for practice tomorrow!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

well...hate to be debbie downer but that stuff don't last long term.

what works:

tell them they only have to do "1".

tell them if they do one in a row they can move on.

bribe them with money.

bribe them with a new leo.

bribe them with a new corvette.

tell them "no conditioning" for you if you just do "1".

tell them they can go home early if they just do "1".

tell them they can have tomorrow off if they just do "1".

tell them they can have the week end off if they just do "2."

tell them if they can do a beam series, facing both directions, & 2 in a row, they get off beam the next day.

tell them that they are going to learn a new bar dismount because they won't let go on their fly away. watch what happens when you "tell" them it's the level 5 compulsory dismount. and then you actually follow thru for a competition. wait till you see what happens in practice following the competition.

this is all wacky sports psychology. it works. and just as well as that other stuff. laugh out loud!

 

[gymjourneymom]

Thanks Dunno. I know you've been at this a long time. I have a lot of repect for your posts. And I'll allow coaches(who know what they are doing) to try many different techniques, if they will benefit my child. As long as it does NOT involve; yelling, ridicule, demeaning my child as a person( all techniques my DD's coach has used). A classic quote from him " If you don't go for it, you're not good enough for my gym!". Nice huh? Yes, I had to take my DD to a sports psychologist to undo the damage he caused. Fear issues are frequently self confidence issues(as I'm sure you know). Building the child's self confidence is a stepping stone to the ultimate goal, the skill. I agree there can be different routes to that ulimate goal. Bribes may work at times, because they show the gymnast, that you(the coach), care enough the work with them, and that can be a confidence boost of it's own. If you've read any of my old posts, you'll know I feel. A caring & supportive coach(willing to take time & baby steps) is ALWAYS the #1 factor to overcoming fear issues in my book. Thanks for taking the time to bribe your gymnasts Dunno...it shows you care!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

i hope you understand that my post was tongue in cheek. i can't find a moticon[?] for the tongue and cheek though.

the coach you described above is an idiot. "not good enough for my gym" my rear end. the idiot needs to be reminded that he has been given a privilege by God... or an atom collision... or whatever he believes in...to work with children. maybe he's not "good enough" FOR THE SPORT OF GYMNASTICS.

i know allison personally. she was a great gymnast back in the day. she was abused terribly by her coach. hence the books and videos. and that idiot is no longer coaching. and allison is still around. character trumps #%&holes!

and as you've learned from some of my posts, some of the issues that come up in gymnastics are related to human biology. there are just so many things that go into the training of a gymnast, and then what the gymnast brings to the mat so to speak, that if everyone involved with that child does not practice PATIENCE AND TREAT THEM KINDLY then you will most likely lose them as athletes. children by nature like to please adults. when they work their *** off for a coach, you can't turn around and then negatively "punch" them in the face. and the kids will work by example. the harder the coach works then the harder the athlete works. and the more a coach pushes negatively the more they push back with disrespect and irreverence.

so, i regret as a professional that you have to put up with that B.S. and if the videos help relax your daughter so she can focus only on her "inner thoughts" and not those of the idiot coach then so be it!

 

[gymjourneymom]

Oh Dunno, I "get" your tongue in cheek posts, no worries! I love to read your posts! You share a lot of informative & interesting insight with us here on CB. I've read your posts on fear with lots of interest, you are very knowledgeable on the topic.

Wish you could be my DD's coach, I really think you would "get" her & find a way to help her. At every level she hits a new fear, it's a constant battle for her. Even when she over comes a fear there is another one or an old one comes back. She "should be" a L8/L9 by now all of her old team mates have moved up. She is repeating L7 after competing last year (& being state floor & vault champ)due to fear of giants & beam BHS(yes she CAN do them beautifully, but is afraid to go for them). She is never without struggling with some type of fear. She is a difficult case, I realize this. Most gymnasts with her fear would have given up by now. But she loves this sport! You would think a coach would be proud that she sticks with it. Her coach only sees her as a "disappointment" because he knows what she is capable of, but she "lets" fear stop her. I think he is mean to her, so the other girls will see fear as a bad thing. I think he's afraid it's catching or will spread through the gym!

I have a lot of respect for Doc Ali too, so interesting that you know her personally! I didn't realize she had been mistreated by a coach, but it does make sense. My DD really does identify with what Doc Ali has to say. Maybe because of shared feelings of abuse at the hands a coach they should have been able to trust.

So keep the post coming Dunno!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

yes. and the biggest thing a coach can do for a child[ren] like yours [more with problems in the sport than not. that's the truth but no one likes to admit it or talk about it] is to leave them the hell alone. quit screaming at them. stop harassing them. and stop comments that become personalized by the children. and the coaches that are like this unequivocally KNOW that certain comments affect them personally. this IS the definition of MEAN!

what they should do is give them the space, and a little bit of rope, to sort some of these things out by themselves. one of the worst things you can do as a coach is to OVERCOACH. sometimes the kids need breathing room & personal quiet so that they can figure it out. they can't do this if they are constantly being harassed.

what a parent should do is let their children know that there is nothing wrong with taking their time. and no matter what level they compete at as it is of no importance is that they love THEM and support their passion because it brings and teaches them all the things that they will encounter in their adult life. and the 1 thing for certain that they learn IS TO NEVER GIVE UP. who wouldn't want that an integral part of all mankind?

then you have a talk with the coach and let him off the hook. that her failures will not be attributed to him. let him know that your daughter does not disappoint you, her brother and sisters if she has any, or her grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, etc; that it would take something much more grand than a failed series on beam to cause disappointment. that he should be a partner with your daughter and whatever her dreams may be. that he can cease harassing her because he is ruining her spirit. not just her spirit for gymnastics. and then how the hell would he like it if he were told he "wasn't good enough" to be a part of your "family" team on a daily basis. does he think his demeanor would stay constantly and consistently upbeat if he had to go into work every day and hear that from his boss and parents [who are really the bosses anyway...we work for you]??? and finally, that if his ego, id, alter ego, and who he thinks he is in gymnastics is dependent on how his athletes do...and he only feels good about himself when his athletes do well...THEN FIND ANOTHER JOB! CHILDREN CAN BE PERFECT ALMOST EVERYDAY BUT NOT EVERDAY AND THEY MAKE MISTAKES AND WIPE THEMSELVES JUST LIKE HE DOES AND THAT THESE CHILDREN ARE TRYING TO PLEASE US ALL, INCLUDING THEMSELVES, AND ARE LOOKING TO US TO DO THE RIGHT THING BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW HOW AND THAT'S WHAT TEACHING IS ALL ABOUT! geesh...i just lost my voice from that short tirade of screaming. anyway, i hope my point is understood by all.

i keep telling you all...some of the things i read here are downright depressing. this is precisely why youth sports gets the bad rap that it does. if it's not the parents it's the coaches. and just think...children...who have just learned to read, write, spell, wipe themselves properly and remember to brush their teeth...must learn to navigate the landscape of life with all this crappy kind of support that surrounds them. it's pitiful i tell you. i'm done for now.

p.s. i've experienced more bad parents than coaches. there are more of you than there are us. sometimes it's a war out here. this is discussion for another day or as i see things posted.

p.s.s. a steak dinner says that this coach never did high level gymnastics [and this is not to say that if you didn't do high level gymnastics that you don't have the empathy and understanding required to coach gymnastics]. if he did...he would have more respect for the fear that the children experience that IS REAL TO THEM. and there you would find a different approach and methodology in the coaching of gymnasts. get back to me on that...I LUV STEAK.

 

[gymjourneymom]

Didn't mean to get you all worked up Dunno. I really wanted this to be a thread where people could find some help with fear issues/mental blocks. My DD's situation is not the norm, of that I am sure. But she has found help(not a cure) in following Doc Ali's teachings. Fear is still a struggle for her & it pains me to watch. I have become very disillusioned with this sport that my DD loves so much. That is why I haven't been posting much of late.

I agree there are plenty of "those" parents who are more of the problem than the solution. I can with all honesty say that I have never been one to sit with my nose pressed against the glass, coaching from the side lines or 2nd guessing coaches. I have only been my DD biggest cheerleader & tried to find her help when she needed it(as with these videos, taking her to a sports psychologist & getting her privates with supportive coaches). If you've followed my posts you know I am in awe of my DD and all gymnasts! I do not push her in gymnastics(she leads & I follow along looking dazed & confused). I know gymnastics is only part of who she is, not who she is. I see the WHOLE beautiful picture!

My DD is 14yo & in highschool now, she is a smart, strong young lady. I'm allowing her to make choices about her life. I support her totally, but I'm not living her life for her. She is doing the work & putting in the hours. As far as I'm concerned I see she has MANY talents & I will support whatever she chooses to put her efforts into. Things(school, sports, music) have always come easy to her. She excels at whatever she tries(I'm not trying to be a bragging mom here, I'm just stating fact). Gymnastics is the one thing that forces her to push herself beyond her comfort level, she has to work at it. And that is exactly what she DOES love about it. She likes to be challenged. If it also came easy to her, I don't think she would like it as much.

But I wish I could will her fears away for her, my heart physically aches when I watch her struggle with fear. Then I see how strong she has become mentally & physically. She doesn't back away from any challenge, gym or elsewhere(even her HC hasn't driven her away!). And when she pulls through a struggle she shines!!!! She is a remarkable person! I swear she's going to be the CEO of a company someday! Actually she wants to own a gym "and coach the RIGHT way"(her words). Maybe she'll become as famous as Doc Ali one day .

One of the hardest things right now, is the "level" thing. I really do not, let me repeat, do not care what level or even if she competes at all. But her "friends" that all moved up are having "L8" parties/sleepovers etc. and excluding her because she didn't move up with them. Well, with "friends" like that...you know how the saying goes! They are the reason she stayed at this gym, through all of her fear issues & abuse from the coach. Because of her "friends" she stayed & now this is how they treat her. Yes, gymnastics really does teach life lessons at a young age.

As for HC/owner. If he competed at all, it was back in grade school or highschool. It's never really talked about. Our website mentions all the other coaches gymnastics background & accomplishments BUT the HC/owner only mentions his coaching background. Basically he's a bully. A grown up bully. There are some wonderful coaches at our gym. So I'm not a coach basher in general. But with 1 hurtful comment he can manage to undo all of the other coaches hard & patient work with her. He really doesn't understand kids or fear issues & he only cares about winning. Yes, he sees a gymnasts 'failure' as his failure & heaven forbid, HE cannot fail. There are so many issues with him...he really needs a psychologist & I'm NOT joking. He really has no business working with children, JMHO.

I've tried to get my DD to try other gyms. She never wanted to leave her "friends". Now with the combination of "friend" issues, fear issues, HC bullying. Her next step will probably be to leave the sport she loves. I really have no idea how she goes there everyday! But she has numerous other talents to explore & sometimes I wish she'd do just that.

Her & I have had many, many heart to heart talks. But with all of this...it is now the "friends" issue that hurts her the most. I think that is what is going to cause her to leave the sport in the long run. There are many mental aspects at work here. And without "friendship" she feels like she can't deal with the rest of it anymore. I can't blame her. She has been a wonderful friend to these girls since they were all very young(pre-team). She was the star of compulsories, but was ALWAYS a gracious winner & supportive of her friends. And now this is how they treat her . I'm ready for her to leave this sport, she's learned enough to last her a lifetime. She is already very wise beyond her 14yrs. But as I said it is her choice. I will let her keeping on going if that is what she wishes to do. I will take her to a different gym if that is what she wants. But so far she chooses to stay. We'll see how the season progresses.

Sorry this is a book! I've been holding in lots of feelings. I really can't talk to anyone at the gym about any of this, as you can imagine. That is why I love CB so much! If you even got this far I want to say "Thanks" for letting me vent!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

my simple reply to your well thought post is...COACHES! READ THIS!! i understand you loud and clear. i'll write more a bit later. need to digest the above 1st. great read!

 

[gymluvr33]

I'm so sorry that her gym and "friend" situation is so unenjoyable. I'll be praying for her. Feel free to vent anytime.