Parents Gym Change? Help

[Issagymnast]

Hi all, hope your well. We have an abusive coach and gym doesnt care much. However, how do you get your 8 year old to switch gyms. She will be devastated to leave familiar grounds and friends. How do you approach it and how do you know if its a good fit? My gymnast is quiet and will always say she is good. No more. No less.
Trial with team or just pull her out? Whats the best course. She is a natural talent and will be entering L4. Parents...any advice is very valuable. I guess this is how true gym rivalry is built leaving with a big grudge as they dont like it was reported and are icing us out right now. I will protect those kids at all costs while others lack courage and fear retaliation. They stand to lose their best gymnanst. She has been told this by gym! Please guide us......

 

[txgymfan]

Pay your bill. Pull her out. Explain to your daughter that it is for her safety. Then try other gyms.

 

[StephensMom]

We went through a similar process of trying to “get” our daughter to change gyms. Fortunately, it wasn’t a concern of abuse but there was a new head coach and the gym was changing not for the better. Just bad management, communication, and the coaching wasn’t great either. Anyway, our daughter was 6 almost 7. We had protected her from our frustrations and all she knew was that gym plus she was 6. Of course she didn’t want to change gyms and leave her friends. We tried to convince her a bit but then we just had to decide that we were her parents for a reason. 6/7/8 year olds aren’t equipped to make these decisions. We moved her to a new gym and it was 100% the right decision. I miss her friends at the old gym and that is truly the only thing. I was afraid it would be a “grass is always greener” situation but it absolutely was not. My daughter has been treated better, the gym is way more organized, communication is clear, and the coaching is way better. The first few weeks or month were a little difficult for my daughter missing her friends and adjusting to the new gym. We were supportive and also firm. We eventually told her bluntly that if she wanted to continue gymnastics, she would be doing it at this gym. We also pointed out every positive thing we saw at the new gym and we did share more of the reasons we had left the old one. We are only 5 months in now and she is thriving and agrees that she’s in a better gym. She can see more clearly now how the other was lacking. We see now how her confidence had decreased from the way her old coach would talk to her but is now back. Her form is better, her scores are better, she’s gaining skills. We asked her again recently if she wants to consider doing less gymnastics (because of how much time it takes) and she is adamant that she does not want to slow down. So, in summary, you may never convince her to change gyms. You might just have to trust your parental judgement on this.

I guess I could add, I see a lot of people switching gyms here and it made me a little hesitant to do so. I didn’t want to be that parent that just hops from gym to gym. I overlooked some concerns for too long. The gym had many parents leave within a few months (around 10 families that I know of in about 2 months) and I should have realized sooner that that was a bad sign. My only regret with the gym switch is that I didn’t do it sooner.

 

[Issagymnast]

We went through a similar process of trying to “get” our daughter to change gyms. Fortunately, it wasn’t a concern of abuse but there was a new head coach and the gym was changing not for the better. Just bad management, communication, and the coaching wasn’t great either. Anyway, our daughter was 6 almost 7. We had protected her from our frustrations and all she knew was that gym plus she was 6. Of course she didn’t want to change gyms and leave her friends. We tried to convince her a bit but then we just had to decide that we were her parents for a reason. 6/7/8 year olds aren’t equipped to make these decisions. We moved her to a new gym and it was 100% the right decision. I miss her friends at the old gym and that is truly the only thing. I was afraid it would be a “grass is always greener” situation but it absolutely was not. My daughter has been treated better, the gym is way more organized, communication is clear, and the coaching is way better. The first few weeks or month were a little difficult for my daughter missing her friends and adjusting to the new gym. We were supportive and also firm. We eventually told her bluntly that if she wanted to continue gymnastics, she would be doing it at this gym. We also pointed out every positive thing we saw at the new gym and we did share more of the reasons we had left the old one. We are only 5 months in now and she is thriving and agrees that she’s in a better gym. She can see more clearly now how the other was lacking. We see now how her confidence had decreased from the way her old coach would talk to her but is now back. Her form is better, her scores are better, she’s gaining skills. We asked her again recently if she wants to consider doing less gymnastics (because of how much time it takes) and she is adamant that she does not want to slow down. So, in summary, you may never convince her to change gyms. You might just have to trust your parental judgement on this.

I guess I could add, I see a lot of people switching gyms here and it made me a little hesitant to do so. I didn’t want to be that parent that just hops from gym to gym. I overlooked some concerns for too long. The gym had many parents leave within a few months (around 10 families that I know of in about 2 months) and I should have realized sooner that that was a bad sign. My only regret with the gym switch is that I didn’t do it sooner.

Thank you. Very helpful.

 

[NutterButter]

If you have filed a report, regardless if the gym knows it was you, you are not doing your child any favors by keeping her in the gym. She's 8 years old and will adjust to a new gym. You need to be the parent and make the decision for her.