Parents Gym communication, the good, the bad and the UGLY.....for PARENTS!!!

[bogwoppit]

Okay so I have noticed that gym communication, and the lack therof, is a big issue. So imagine you are setting up the perfect gym and you are planning how you will communicate with the parents and gymnasts. Tell me what that would look like. Monthly reports, training plans, goals, billing, fundraising, meet schedules etc etc are all part of the package.

Perhaps some gym owners will read the responses and implement some of your ideas, or realise that their system needs tweaking.

This is for parents, coaches step back and let them talk.

There are no bad responses, and nobody is wrong, so lets try and create the perfect gym communication model and see where it takes us.

 

[dinkalina]

gym communication reply

At our first gym, the politics between the front desk/owner/coaches was way out of hand. The coaches were not suppose to talk to the parents - period. If the coaches dared talk to the parents about moving their child up a class, the coaches had to sneak around and beg the parents not to say anything to the front desk ladies. You, as the parent, were completely stuck then because you knew your child was suppose to be moved to a more challenging class, yet you couldn't ask the front desk to inquire about the schedule ahead of time to see what would work. All the more frustrating was to see your child completely bored in class, you paying for that boredom, and yet weren't suppose to say anything for fear of getting the coaches in trouble. We also had problems with the coaches making plans for my child's future without consulting me or my child first. I would like to know ahead of time if you decide are going to start putting your thumb down on my child to groom her for team and suck all of the joy out of her gym time. I would also like to know what team exactly entails before I agree to anything. Team, it seems, is a big hairy secret no one can give details on but everyone talks about in this reverent tone. I just want to know what's the time/money/expectation committment. The owners were never available - bigger fish to fry. As a parent, I would like to see more open communication between the coaches and the parents. It doesn't have to be face to face because I know coaches are busy and have to take the next class in. A little written progress report every couple of months would be nice. Maybe just a checklist of skills you need to complete before moving on to the next level would get everyone on the same page. If there are spaces available in extra classes like tumbling, etc I would like to know that kind of information as well. Also, I would very much like to know if you have a problem with my child's behavior at any time. Is our current gym any better with the communication. I think so. Its a much more relaxed, free environment with monthly newsletters, coaches who aren't afraid to make eye contact with you, and less secrets/politics.

 

[MaryA]

Geez... communication in the new gym is SO much better than communication in our old gym. I feel totally comfortable emailing the HC a question and I know she will get back to me. On top of that, and I suppose this is not just a communciation thing, everything is so much more professional. The HC at the other gym would talk to parents about OTHER PARENT'S KIDS... "I shouldn't have moved up Suzie." "Sally isn't progressing as fast as I thought she would." etc. I never got information about my OWN kid, but I sure got an earful about other people's kids, and I knew that she talked about my DD to other parents too. It ended up producing an atmosphere where gossip reigned supreme because all of the parents tried to put together the bits and pieces of what they had heard in order to try to get a picture of what was going on. And then things would blow up and the HC would lecture the parents about gossiping.

The HC at the new gym, especially when things were first getting up and running, would appologize to us for sending so many long emails, but I know that the other parents who switched from our old gym and I all REVELED in those long emails. All of that information! Right out there in the open where everyone could see it!

And even little things... like a few weeks ago I got an email from the HC saying, "I know it's early to be thinking about such things, but I heard this piece of floor music and thought of your daughter. Let me know what you think." (She's level 6) I mean, it makes me feel good when I hear that she is thinking about my daughter, and not just what she's doing at this precise moment, but what she'll be doing a year from now, or whatever.

A newsletter would be nice, though... a nice way to put all of the crucial bits of information together in one place, along with meet scores, pictures, etc. Maybe that's something to shoot for eventually. I'm not volunteering to do it though.

 

[AlwaysCuriousMom]

Well, as I sit and brainstorm all the things I would like the gym to do for me (progress reports, newsletters, etc. - after all, we pay as much as private school tuition in some areas,) I realize that my DD would HATE it. She'd be absolutely miserable all the time if she were constantly assessed, reviewed, questioned about her behavior (by me...) I remember when she had assessments to move up to level 5. They were conditioning hard and testing every month. My poor DD was stressed and talked about quitting. She even had jump-to-high-bar night terrors! I realize that she loves gymnastics because it is fun - a way to be independent with her special friends. No need to mess with that. She has a special bond with her coaches - all the kids do. So I can definitely see why they are hesitant to turn gymnastics into school. Just something to think about.

 

[my4buffaloes]

I think better communication is always good. Our old gym was awful about it, our new gym is pretty good. The coaches will talk with you if they see you in the lobby. I try to keep it low key and not always about how my dd's are doing, but they will almost always start talking about that anyway - which I think is great. I love that they come and talk to you after meets about how my dd did. At our old gym, the coaches rarely even stayed through the awards - frequently sneaking out the back door before they were officially over. They would never speak to a parent at a meet.

One thing I would like to see more of is better information about the meets. We get the name of the meet (sometimes the host gym, sometimes not) and then eventually our time slot. Trying to figure out where the meets are held is sometimes like pulling teeth and I feel that I must be the only one that doesn't know right off where such & such a meet is held every year. Our first gym did do that well. We got a sheet of paper with the gym host name, address, directions (including a map!) and time information. So nice. Now, I feel like I am always searching the internet trying to figure out where these meets are held and they are usually not at the host gym so it can be tricky to find where.

 

[Mom2twingymnasts]

Progress reports:
I don’t think a monthly report is necessary – coaches are busy and wouldn’t have new information each month. I do think at least once or twice a year a detailed progress report should be provided. It would be nice to know the coaches views of my daughter’s/son’s goals, strengths, challenges, likely level for next season, and any issues that I can help with or should know about. Progress report should be provided to the parent a few days prior to a meeting with the coaches so that questions can be discussed.

Immediate communications:
Certain issues should be addressed immediately. Don’t wait until the progress report to tell a parent their child is just goofing off at practice, being disruptive, needs more rest,... whatever else a parent can help fix.

Injuries:
Let parents know when a child has been injured during practice – especially head injury. Let the parent know what the head hit and with what force. My son injured his head twice at gymnastics. The first time was a year ago hit his head doing double front from tramp into the pit – he opened up and hit the back of his head between the floor and the pit. He had a severe concussion and lost his short term memory for three days. He hit his head a few weeks ago on the vault. When my son told me about it on the drive home (no coach mentioned it), I just thought he hit the padded top of the vault. He actually hit the metal leg/base of the vault. For some reason the pad that covers the leg was not on it. When my son told me I think I have a concussion, I thought it was just because he had one before and was being over dramatic. I put ice on the bump but really didn’t think much about it because I thought he hit a pad. A week later my son tells me he thinks his concussion is better because he his brain isn’t feeling dizzy and tired anymore. Yes, I felt horrible!! I asked more questions and learned he ended up under the vault table and hit the base. I looked at his head and it wasn’t just a bump but also a scab.
There is more than communication issue here – really need a policy/procedure for each type of injury that all coaches must follow is needed.

Traveling:
When traveling with kids (e.g. like to TOPs Nationals), be sure to communicate to all parents that all arrived safely. Make sure the kids attempt to call home every evening. Don’t ever enforce a rule of no calling home once the kids are away!! Provide a quick update to the parents about how the kids did. Let us know what they did well on and what they didn’t do so well on. When we are at the competition, we see what they didn’t do so well so we know what events to not talk about. Talk to the parents before arranging the travel – get input from parents before arranging flights that are extremely early or late. Parents may be willing to pay more for travel if they don’t have to wake their kid up at 3:30/4:00 AM to get to the airport. Provide the parents information about their children’s schedule while away and when we will likely hear from them. Also provide as much information as possible about meeting location/time for drop offs and pickup of the kids (which airlines, which terminal, where in the airport to meet).

Listen to parents:
Parents know their children better than anyone. Listen to them about what the child may be struggling with, what the child needs regarding rest/eating habits when away from home, fears the child may have…
Don’t share parent/coach communications with the child. If a parent reaches out to you with a concern, they don’t expect their child to be confronted with that concern. Horrifying!!
When a parent sends an email or text, respond as soon as possible that you received the email and will address. If you made a mistake, apologize as soon as possible. Don’t be afraid to admit you made a mistake. Learn from your mistakes.
Don’t make parents feel that they can’t communicate with you. If a parent feels they can’t talk to you, you will lose them. Realize that the parent that is talking to you is the one that is usually NOT participating in the negative parent talk.

Coach/ young athlete communications:
Limit teasing!! Kids don’t always understand that you are teasing and their feelings can get hurt easily. Never tease about personal things (their family, home).
Don’t label a child as these labels stick in their head and it can define who they are. Examples: don’t tell them they are not a great tumbler or always say someone is the best tumbler. A child will feel that they can never win on floor. Don’t say “you can never stick a vault.” Don’t say “You are a second chance kid and never do it on the first try.” These things shape how they feel about themselves.

Financial/Schedule Information:
Provide financial and schedule information as soon as possible. If you don’t have the exact information let the parents know this is an estimate. Don’t say it is $720 and then two weeks later tell us it is actually going to be $950. It would be better to tell us it will be about $1000 and we will get you the exact amount as soon as possible.
Get the schedule online. Have one place the parents need to go to get practice and meet schedules.

Communicate successes:
Over communicate successes. Post congratulations for kids that win big meets, make it to TOPs or Future Stars national testing, make a National A or B team. Don't chose favorites and only communicate if your favorite won or made it.
Use Facebook and post on the gym wall. Kids loved to be recognized for their successes.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Progress reports:
I don’t think a monthly report is necessary – coaches are busy and wouldn’t have new information each month. I do think at least once or twice a year a detailed progress report should be provided. It would be nice to know the coaches views of my daughter’s/son’s goals, strengths, challenges, likely level for next season, and any issues that I can help with or should know about. Progress report should be provided to the parent a few days prior to a meeting with the coaches so that questions can be discussed.

Immediate communications:
Certain issues should be addressed immediately. Don’t wait until the progress report to tell a parent their child is just goofing off at practice, being disruptive, needs more rest,... whatever else a parent can help fix.

Injuries:
Let parents know when a child has been injured during practice – especially head injury. Let the parent know what the head hit and with what force. My son injured his head twice at gymnastics. The first time was a year ago hit his head doing double front from tramp into the pit – he opened up and hit the back of his head between the floor and the pit. He had a severe concussion and lost his short term memory for three days. He hit his head a few weeks ago on the vault. When my son told me about it on the drive home (no coach mentioned it), I just thought he hit the padded top of the vault. He actually hit the metal leg/base of the vault. For some reason the pad that covers the leg was not on it. When my son told me I think I have a concussion, I thought it was just because he had one before and was being over dramatic. I put ice on the bump but really didn’t think much about it because I thought he hit a pad. A week later my son tells me he thinks his concussion is better because he his brain isn’t feeling dizzy and tired anymore. Yes, I felt horrible!! I asked more questions and learned he ended up under the vault table and hit the base. I looked at his head and it wasn’t just a bump but also a scab.
There is more than communication issue here – really need a policy/procedure for each type of injury that all coaches must follow is needed.

Traveling:
When traveling with kids (e.g. like to TOPs Nationals), be sure to communicate to all parents that all arrived safely. Make sure the kids attempt to call home every evening. Don’t ever enforce a rule of no calling home once the kids are away!! Provide a quick update to the parents about how the kids did. Let us know what they did well on and what they didn’t do so well on. When we are at the competition, we see what they didn’t do so well so we know what events to not talk about. Talk to the parents before arranging the travel – get input from parents before arranging flights that are extremely early or late. Parents may be willing to pay more for travel if they don’t have to wake their kid up at 3:30/4:00 AM to get to the airport. Provide the parents information about their children’s schedule while away and when we will likely hear from them. Also provide as much information as possible about meeting location/time for drop offs and pickup of the kids (which airlines, which terminal, where in the airport to meet).

Listen to parents:
Parents know their children better than anyone. Listen to them about what the child may be struggling with, what the child needs regarding rest/eating habits when away from home, fears the child may have…
Don’t share parent/coach communications with the child. If a parent reaches out to you with a concern, they don’t expect their child to be confronted with that concern. Horrifying!!
When a parent sends an email or text, respond as soon as possible that you received the email and will address. If you made a mistake, apologize as soon as possible. Don’t be afraid to admit you made a mistake. Learn from your mistakes.
Don’t make parents feel that they can’t communicate with you. If a parent feels they can’t talk to you, you will lose them. Realize that the parent that is talking to you is the one that is usually NOT participating in the negative parent talk.

Coach/ young athlete communications:
Limit teasing!! Kids don’t always understand that you are teasing and their feelings can get hurt easily. Never tease about personal things (their family, home).
Don’t label a child as these labels stick in their head and it can define who they are. Examples: don’t tell them they are not a great tumbler or always say someone is the best tumbler. A child will feel that they can never win on floor. Don’t say “you can never stick a vault.â€￾ Don’t say “You are a second chance kid and never do it on the first try.â€￾ These things shape how they feel about themselves.

Financial/Schedule Information:
Provide financial and schedule information as soon as possible. If you don’t have the exact information let the parents know this is an estimate. Don’t say it is $720 and then two weeks later tell us it is actually going to be $950. It would be better to tell us it will be about $1000 and we will get you the exact amount as soon as possible.
Get the schedule online. Have one place the parents need to go to get practice and meet schedules.

Communicate successes:
Over communicate successes. Post congratulations for kids that win big meets, make it to TOPs or Future Stars national testing, make a National A or B team. Don't chose favorites and only communicate if your favorite won or made it.
Use Facebook and post on the gym wall. Kids loved to be recognized for their successes.

i know Bog asked coaches not to comment. but i can't keep my mouth closed on the bold. that's bad for several reasons on several levels. what is described should NEVER happen regardless of anything else that anybody is going to post. that's all.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

I won't bother with the negatives of the old gym, here's what I like about new gym:

Open communication about expectations -
Financials - specific payments & due dates
Fundraising - a list of "required" fundraisers with approximate dates
Travel meets - HC emails parents with dates, mode of transportation, hotel info
Level requirements - specifics are laid out for parents/gymnasts to have X skills by Y date for each optional level

So far we have received one "formal" progress report (in 6 months) however, coaches email individual parents periodically about their child's progress and/or have informal chats when they see us in the lobby. A few weeks ago, I was surprised with a video of my DD's newest skill!

Praising gymnasts for progress as well as constructively correcting what they are lacking!

Coaches are responsive to parents' emails/concerns/questions.

 

[Mom2twingymnasts]

Bog, I learned my lesson and will not assume an injury is just a kid being dramatic ever again. If you think this happened because my son was screwing around in the gym. That is not the case - he is a hardworking, rule following boy. He was trying to learn the boys level 7 vault where they touch their toes. He landed on an angle and fell backwards. He is short enough to fall back under the table.

 

[TexasRose]

I'm very pleased with the communication at our gym. The coaches make themselves available for informal conversations regularly and are available for private meetings if you desire that route. We are emailed updates regarding the program regularly, as well as monthly newsletters and calenders for drop-in classes. The gym also has a facebook page where they put all the updates and announcements on as well. There is a closed group page for the gym team as well, where announcements that only apply to the gym team are put. I've only emailed the coach once and I got a response within 2 days so I was very happy with that. The owners all work the front desk as well so it's very easy to talk with them if you ever need to. I had a question about my invoice and they were very friendly and helpful. There was also a team parent meeting at the beginning of the season and the coaches and owners were all present and available for questions which was great.

The gym now has an online calender for all the teams, where they put all the meet dates, team parties, etc on. I love this because I can set up email reminders for myself from the calender. Something that I really love too is that when DD got a new skill for the first time the coach would tell me after practice and have DD show me. I really like that. Parents are not supposed to stay and watch practice so I usually don't, only watch about once a month, so I love that they make sure I can see her new skills. Overall, very pleased with the communication.

 

[bogwoppit]

Bog, I learned my lesson and will not assume an injury is just a kid being dramatic ever again. If you think this happened because my son was screwing around in the gym. That is not the case - he is a hardworking, rule following boy. He was trying to learn the boys level 7 vault where they touch their toes. He landed on an angle and fell backwards. He is short enough to fall back under the table.

It should never happen. The vault should be padded and when learning a new vault the coach should be in real close, both to spot and intervene when things go awry. Accidents certainly can, and do, happen in gyms. But it is the gym's responsibility to make sure that the facility and equipment is safe, it is the coaches responsibility to spot according to needs.

Moreover there should be a system in place to deal with any injuries, here we have an injury report to fill out and a book to note incidents. Parents should be talked to directly after any accident, even if all looks well. Head bonks are a whole category by themselves, parents should be called and advised ASAP of the incident. Seemingly small head traumas can lead to bigger problems.

I am sure you kid was not messing around, but even of he was you still have the right to be informed.

 

[ARKGYMMOM]

After reading some of the posts here I have to say that I have always thought my DD was at an awsome gym and this confirms it. I could probably pull a positve from everyone of these. Lots of e-mails, text messages and personal comunication. There is one thing that my DD's gym does that I have not seen here, is they have a small two drawer filing cabinet that every team member has a folder. We get everything from HC info, Party info, fundraiser info..... The list goes on an on. Each child knows that after every practice they must check their folder and take it to their parents. On average I would say we get something once a week.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

Geez... communication in the new gym is SO much better than communication in our old gym. I feel totally comfortable emailing the HC a question and I know she will get back to me. On top of that, and I suppose this is not just a communciation thing, everything is so much more professional. The HC at the other gym would talk to parents about OTHER PARENT'S KIDS... "I shouldn't have moved up Suzie." "Sally isn't progressing as fast as I thought she would." etc. I never got information about my OWN kid, but I sure got an earful about other people's kids, and I knew that she talked about my DD to other parents too. It ended up producing an atmosphere where gossip reigned supreme because all of the parents tried to put together the bits and pieces of what they had heard in order to try to get a picture of what was going on. And then things would blow up and the HC would lecture the parents about gossiping.

The HC at the new gym, especially when things were first getting up and running, would appologize to us for sending so many long emails, but I know that the other parents who switched from our old gym and I all REVELED in those long emails. All of that information! Right out there in the open where everyone could see it!

And even little things... like a few weeks ago I got an email from the HC saying, "I know it's early to be thinking about such things, but I heard this piece of floor music and thought of your daughter. Let me know what you think." (She's level 6) I mean, it makes me feel good when I hear that she is thinking about my daughter, and not just what she's doing at this precise moment, but what she'll be doing a year from now, or whatever.

A newsletter would be nice, though... a nice way to put all of the crucial bits of information together in one place, along with meet scores, pictures, etc. Maybe that's something to shoot for eventually. I'm not volunteering to do it though.

........You are truly living the dream!!! Lucky!!

 

[Mom2twingymnasts]

It should never happen. The vault should be padded and when learning a new vault the coach should be in real close, both to spot and intervene when things go awry. Accidents certainly can, and do, happen in gyms. But it is the gym's responsibility to make sure that the facility and equipment is safe, it is the coaches responsibility to spot according to needs.

Moreover there should be a system in place to deal with any injuries, here we have an injury report to fill out and a book to note incidents. Parents should be talked to directly after any accident, even if all looks well. Head bonks are a whole category by themselves, parents should be called and advised ASAP of the incident. Seemingly small head traumas can lead to bigger problems.

I am sure you kid was not messing around, but even of he was you still have the right to be informed.

Thanks for the response Bog! I agree that it should never happen. I don't know enough about gymnastics to say the accident shouldn't have happened but the lack of communication was my issue.
I did accidently address you when I meant to address Dunno - since Dunno had responded that it shouldn't happen. My son's coach was out of town when this happened so he had a coach that doesn't typically coach him.

 

[gymgal]

Well, I have to say that our gym gets better with communication each year we have been on team but there are still some things that would make it better, particularly for new team parents who aren't quite comfortable talking with the owner/coaches.

- level skill sheets filled out 2x a year (they do this for rec but not team - this will give parents and gymnasts and idea of what they have/need)

- a dictionary of gymnastics terms (or good websites showing the skills) so that when my dd gets in the car at the end of practice and says: 'we did drills for ______" I know what she is talking about!

- more communication at the developmental levels about what team entails.

- after reading about the concussion incident I realized that we don't have an accident report procedure either. My dd has had a few bad falls and I have not always been alerted by a coach during or after practice. Now, my dd does not like to call attention to herself so it may be her "fault" for not telling them. Still - a written accident report that is given to the parent would be helpful in case the child needs to be seen by a dr.

BTW, my dd recently hit that bar under the vault. I had the same reaction - Why would that hurt so much - it's padded. But apparently, the padding wasn't on it. She was fine but that's scary...

 

[cher062]

Well I would say USE the E-mail to get the word out. Don't rely on kids handing parents notices. Also a bulliten board is nice to have info on but again I don't always have time to read it every time I'm in the gym so E-Mail me the stuff instead.

Get a web page and maintain it. Our current gym has a web page but the info either is a year or older or not there at all.

There should be a few times a year updates on how the kids are doing. As a team parent we really don't stay for the practices as usually the gym frowns on us staying so we have no idea if our kids are moving along as expected or what. I like to know about every 3 months (4 x a year) how she is doing and if there is anything I can do as a parent to help.

Injuries - if a kid says it hurts then it just might hurt. Don't assume they are trying to get out of something (even though they might be) Let parents know their kid has complained about what ever that night or again send an e-mail that night. And don't get mad at gymnast.

If you want gymnast to communicate to coaches don't make them feel intimidated and if they aren't asking you questions feel free to ask them questions to get answers you might want.

Listen to parents when they suggest a way of getting through to their kid. Parents have been dealing with their kids all their lives and know the way to get their kids to do things. there isn't one cookie cutter mold for kids. Be open to trying new ways of doing things.

Give dates for events, meets and activites as soon as possible so we can plan other family events instead of 2 days before an event that you make mandentory and we have to juggle everything around to meet your request. For example my DD has a meet not this coming weekend but the following weekend (10 days away) We still don't know if she is on Sat or Sunday or what session she is in. Heck its 10 days from now they must know by now at least is it Sat or Sunday.

 

[KarenUK]

My biggest complaint about gym is the lack of communication.

My daughter trains 3x weekly, which I know is not a lot compared to many, but with the drive time on top and the impact on the time available for her siblings, having a gymnast is a whole family commitment - everybody makes sacrifices. She has been on the squad for just over a year now, and I have never had a report of how she is doing - I see what I see at comps, but they just don't talk - and if you ask you are made to feel like a pushy parent. I don't want hours of their time, but it would be nice to know.....
- is she happy and how are her relationships to her coaches/peers?
- is she making the progress they expected when she was given her place?
- what are her strengths and weaknesses - and is there anything we can do to help?
- is there a plan for her?

The only time we get feedback is if we identify a problem - you will get little snippets during conversation, but something a bit more structured and regular would be wonderful. It sometimes feels like like begging for table scraps when we are paying the restaurant bill....

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

Well I would say USE the E-mail to get the word out. Don't rely on kids handing parents notices. Also a bulliten board is nice to have info on but again I don't always have time to read it every time I'm in the gym so E-Mail me the stuff instead.

Get a web page and maintain it. Our current gym has a web page but the info either is a year or older or not there at all.

I live on my iphone so anything electronic is great. I have to give our HC two thumbs up on this one! We get emails, updates via website, AND Tweets!!! LOL sometimes triple notification, but I'd rather have that than to not be in the "know".

 

[jasminekayla]

Communication in our gym is great! I created a website that has everything and anything you would ever want to know about the team. We do sign up, meet reminders, photo pages. The whole package. Here is the website if anyone wants to check it out and get ideas. http://waukeshawondersgymnastics.shutterfly.com/

 

[Granny Smith]

My one suggestion would be.... don't have the requirements to move up levels be an across the board thing. Don't say that every kid must have this skill or that skill in order to move up. Simply state that move ups are on a case-by-case basis. Because quite honestly, there are ALWAYS exceptions to the move up rules and kids that don't have certain skills still get moved up and other are held back, all for various reasons! This creates huge issues amongst everyone, so DON'T commit to requirements that were never going to be adhered to anyways!

Anything else, I can pretty much live with.