Gym Safety Question

[gym-aunt]

Could you leave your child in a gym that specifically disregarded her doctor's instructions on returning to practice after an injury slowly, resulting in her becoming re-injured?

She was out for a couple of weeks with a muscle injury and when she returned within 1 week had a stress fracture. She went from no gymnastics for 2+ weeks to 14 hours of full practice. Doctor told her mom that the injury was directly related to her workouts not being properly handled upon her return, and that she was doing WAY more than she should have been. Moreover her mom informed the head coach that she was to have her workload cut per Dr's instructions when she returned from that 1st injury, and it never happened...the other coaches were never informed of these instructions.

This question is about my niece. Her parents have pretty much made up their minds but have been agonizing over this decision with really no one close to them to turn to. Many of the parents they know are biased (parents of other gymnasts) so they haven't talked to any of them, and she says parents outside of gymnastics wouldn't understand. To me it is cut and dry and a deal breaker--basic safety was not followed and they need to take her somewhere where she can do gymnastics safely with someone knowledgeabe to guide her back after an injury. But for the parents they are emotionally involved as they have been at this gym for many years and have friends there.

There are many more details involved and it is a muddy situation, but what would you do if she were your daughter? Could you leave her there and trust that she would be safely handled returning from this 2nd injury that never should have happened?

 

[gymmommy72]

First of all, no one should leave their child somewhere they don't trust the adult to do their job. Our old gym would disregard orders b/c they often thought girls were faking injuries (even w/dr saying slow down). I would have your niece look at other gyms...one she could be allowed to slow down when dr. says and where the coaches respect the gymnast's enough to not put scores above health. Good luck and hope the situation is resolved

 

[cher062]

well I wouldn't leave my child in a place I didn't trust the adults in charge no matter what the activity was.

With that said many coaches have different ideas of what "slow down" means. The Dr.s letter of what your child can and can't do needs to be very very specific. Remember most of these coaches have basic first aid training and maybe a little sports medicine thrown in. I don't think I would have let my DD go back with such a limited routine as you have described especially not 14 hours. IF she did go back it I would have stayed let her do the conditioning maybe and then taken her home. Parents need to be proactive when it comes to our childrens health and make the hard decisions of not allowing our children back before they really should go back. Yes I know you said the Dr said she could go back but with a much reduced schedule but I bet if asked the Dr would have strongly suggested to wait.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

this one is a no brainer, folks. time to move on.

 

[gym-aunt]

Thank you all for you input.

@cher062, My niece's mom spoke with the head coach who clearly understood Doctor's specific instructions but chose not to follow them or share them even, after he said he would notify the other coaches!!! And I agree, 14 hours is a lot of hours to return after being out! Her mom never would have left her there knowing that the instructions would not be followed! The doctor (a sports medicine orthopedic specializing in young pediatrics at a well regarded children's hospital) said it was safe for her to return for the full number of hours with her repetitions on skills being cut to 25% the 1st week, building by 25% each week, so that by 1 month's time she was back to full number of repetitions. The 1st week after doing her 25% (2 skills for every 8 that the rest of the girls did) on each event she was told to do core conditioning and other strength exercises the were approved and suggested by her doctor. She had been cleared by her ortho and physical therapist, and full instructions were given to and understood by the head coach who said he would share the information with all of her other coaches. He just never passed on the specifics to the other coaches, but instead told them in general terms to "go easy" on any of the injured gymnasts. Her mother has been beating herself up about the whole situation but even the doctor said there was nothing more she could have done. She trusted the coach and he didn't do what he said he would!

 

[gym-aunt]

@dunno, that's exactly what I told her!

 

[cher062]

Thank you all for you input.

@cher062, My niece's mom spoke with the head coach who clearly understood Doctor's specific instructions but chose not to follow them or share them even, after he said he would notify the other coaches!!! And I agree, 14 hours is a lot of hours to return after being out! Her mom never would have left her there knowing that the instructions would not be followed! The doctor (a sports medicine orthopedic specializing in young pediatrics at a well regarded children's hospital) said it was safe for her to return for the full number of hours with her repetitions on skills being cut to 25% the 1st week, building by 25% each week, so that by 1 month's time she was back to full number of repetitions. The 1st week after doing her 25% (2 skills for every 8 that the rest of the girls did) on each event she was told to do core conditioning and other strength exercises the were approved and suggested by her doctor. She had been cleared by her ortho and physical therapist, and full instructions were given to and understood by the head coach who said he would share the information with all of her other coaches. He just never passed on the specifics to the other coaches, but instead told them in general terms to "go easy" on any of the injured gymnasts. Her mother has been beating herself up about the whole situation but even the doctor said there was nothing more she could have done. She trusted the coach and he didn't do what he said he would!

Then it is definitly time to seek a new gym!!

 

[gymdog]

If it were a case of a one time misunderstanding or something, then maybe it could be worked out. But, this sounds basically like willful defiance. The plan set out by the doctor doesn't seem unreasonable (in fact it seems like it should be common sense even to someone who isn't a doctor that during the first time back of doing skills, repetitions should be low). So, if they are that unwilling to bend to even reduce the workout upon returning, then it doesn't look good for the future, I have to say.

 

[gymjoy]

I'm not so sure about this being willful defiance on the part of the HC. Perhaps the head coach thought telling the other coaches to' take it easy' would be enough, and that the gymnast would let them know the details. I know some coaches who willfully dismiss Drs' orders, but not many. Unless this is a reoccurring situation at the gym, or your nieces mom has evidence that the head coach was acting either maliciously or with intentional disregard, then I think that it is jumping the gun to leave. Of course, your niece and here mom might have trouble regaining their trust of her coaches; I don't have an answer for that.

I keep thinking that your niece also needed to speak up about her returning to training slowly. Easier said then done, I know, but kids need to learn to speak up for themselves, even to authority figures. It can be done in a way that is polite and respectful, yet firm. If she felt they were not listening to her, then she should have asked them to talk to the HC. If her refused to detail what he was told at that point, then she should call her mom to come get her.

I feel for your niece and her mom. Being injured stinks, but as a parent, feeling like you caused, or at least could have prevented that injury, is devastating. But this is not your niece's mom's fault - how would she have known the coach would not follow through effectively.

Best of luck to them.
(and you should tell her to join us here...)

 

[mariposa]

As others have said, I would not leave my child somewhere where I did not trust the adults responsible for her. Part of the reason (the straw that broke the camel's back sorta speak) I took my DD out of her old gym was because there was a coach there I did NOT trust with her safety. For the last 6 weeks we were there, I came back at the time he could possibly be coaching her every practice. I let her finish the season with her team, but made sure she wasn't coached by him when I wasn't there.

My daughter has been injured (not big injuries) 2 times in the past year. I did not have a doctor's note or doctor's orders to give to the coaches, and I was being far more cautious than even the doctor had recommended, but the HC and all the other coaches respected my wishes. I spoke to the HC and also to her other coaches. And just to be sure, made sure my daughter knew to "speak up" and that she could refuse to do something if she didn't feel comfortable with what was being asked of her, that I would support her on it. That never had to happen because they kept in touch with me throughout her recovery and knew what she could do. One day, I happened to stay and the my DD told the coach she could tumble, but coach wanted her to come and double check with me. I fully trust my daughter with her coaches and can't imagine I would ever have her at a gym where I wasn't sure that coaches truly were a) keeping her safe and b) had her physical and emotional health as high importance.

Send her parents here. It is a great place.

 

[gymdog]

I'm not so sure about this being willful defiance on the part of the HC. Perhaps the head coach thought telling the other coaches to' take it easy' would be enough, and that the gymnast would let them know the details. I know some coaches who willfully dismiss Drs' orders, but not many. Unless this is a reoccurring situation at the gym, or your nieces mom has evidence that the head coach was acting either maliciously or with intentional disregard, then I think that it is jumping the gun to leave. Of course, your niece and here mom might have trouble regaining their trust of her coaches; I don't have an answer for that.

Well, I mean, some of this should be common sense. I got the feeling from the first post that there was more going on (with the origin of the injury, etc) and that this probably WAS a recurring theme (if not with the OP's niece specifically, within the program), but that wasn't explicitly stated. On it's own, I'd say try to work it out. But it doesn't sound like they're considering this over one day of a misunderstanding or miscommunication or something. But it sounds like there is a general sense of uneasiness and distrust that has been building (i'm surprised they even felt it necessary to give such detailed instructions at all since some of that SHOULD be common sense) and this issue has kind of pushed it over the line.

Again if they can't exercise common sense without being basically forced to, I'd probably be wary too. It seems like there's more going on than a misunderstanding, but that's just my read on it. I always say consider all options and try to work it out first. I have never been an advocate for just leaving a program capriciously or something. But it's worth it to step back, consider the pros and cons, and where to go from here. If the gymnast is generally old enough (probably most kids going 14 hours a week are) she should have input of course. But the parents make the final decision based on what they see as the best interests of the family and child's emotional and physical well-being.

 

[gym-aunt]

Well, I mean, some of this should be common sense. I got the feeling from the first post that there was more going on (with the origin of the injury, etc) and that this probably WAS a recurring theme (if not with the OP's niece specifically, within the program), but that wasn't explicitly stated. On it's own, I'd say try to work it out. But it doesn't sound like they're considering this over one day of a misunderstanding or miscommunication or something. But it sounds like there is a general sense of uneasiness and distrust that has been building (i'm surprised they even felt it necessary to give such detailed instructions at all since some of that SHOULD be common sense) and this issue has kind of pushed it over the line.

Again if they can't exercise common sense without being basically forced to, I'd probably be wary too. It seems like there's more going on than a misunderstanding, but that's just my read on it. I always say consider all options and try to work it out first. I have never been an advocate for just leaving a program capriciously or something. But it's worth it to step back, consider the pros and cons, and where to go from here. If the gymnast is generally old enough (probably most kids going 14 hours a week are) she should have input of course. But the parents make the final decision based on what they see as the best interests of the family and child's emotional and physical well-being.

gymdog, you are incredibly perceptive and right on the mark! I had to leave out some details to protect the innocent, but you got the gist...unfortunately, there is more going on here than just this one incident. Niece is under 10 years old, and did ask if she could stop when she started to feel pain, but unfortunately was told (by a different coach who was unaware of the instructions) to keep going.

 

[gym-aunt]

@mariposa and gymjoy--Thanks so much for your input. Her mom is the one who told me about chalkbucket...that is how I found it. She has been a member here but has chosen to not share all of this for various reasons--she said I could ask as long as I kept it somewhat vague...which I tried to do.

 

[gymjoy]

gymdog, you are incredibly perceptive and right on the mark! I had to leave out some details to protect the innocent, but you got the gist...unfortunately, there is more going on here than just this one incident. Niece is under 10 years old, and did ask if she could stop when she started to feel pain, but unfortunately was told (by a different coach who was unaware of the instructions) to keep going.

Certainly if this behavior is typical at your nieces gym, then finding a better, safer place takes priority.

I understand the being vague, I do the same thing. However, I try not to read into post too much because I might read in something that just is not there. In this case, if this was the first time this had occurred with your niece, then it could have been chalked up to a mistake on the coaches part. A big mistake, but one to be addressed and hopefully corrected for the benefit of all the gymnast at her gym. I thinkI was feeling like a lot of advice here on CB leans toward leaving a gym. Coach yelled at my dd - leave your gym. Coach made dd do 10 push-ups for missing her handstand dismount - leave your gym. Other team-mates were mean - leave your gym. Now, all those cases may be reasons to find a new gym, but a lot depends on context, duration of the situation, intent, and many other factors. I realize many people post here when they are at there wits end with a situation at their gym. They know they are on their way out, and need some hand-holding. Hey, we are here for that, I just do not think it should always be the fall back response. Sometimes you have to stand up to a situation, fight back not just for yourself, but for the good of those around you as well.

Of course, the safety and well-being of children trumps all other things.

I do hope your niece's stress fracture heals quickly, and that her mom does not put too much of the blame on herself (us moms carry the weight of enough responsibilities with out the guilt of mistakes beyond our control) I also hope she finds a place were her dd is safe and happy.

 

[bookworm]

My daughter has had a couple of injuries that required her to: be out of the gym for months and to progress slowly back....and you can imagine how well that went over with her coaches ...so with that said , I will tell you how we managed that knowing that her coaches would most likely have a different interpretation of the instructions....I kept her home and out of the gym for 5 months and when she was able to return, I brought her back a couple of days a week, told the coaches she would be there for 2.5 hours and then took her home. I sat in the waiting room and watched to make sure that she only did what was allowed and the one time she did more, I told her I would pull her from gym for another month if I saw that happen again! She progressed back just fine because she was fully healed from her injury.

The coaches had wanted her to be in the gym during the 5 months doing "conditioning" but her doctors didn't want her in the gym at all so that's what we did. I think parents of lower level kids (and some optional parents) tend to think you can't question or go against what the coach wants your kid to do when they are injured, but it is your responsibility as a parent to be proactive and advocate for your kid ...I took the heat by saying "this is what the doctor says and this is what we are doing"...

I think coaches tend to kind of soft peddle doctor instructions because they just don't want their athletes to be injured ..I don't think they're being malicious but more of a wishful thinking kind of mentality...like if she's not in a cast, then she must be alright...

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

I think coaches tend to kind of soft peddle doctor instructions because they just don't want their athletes to be injured ..I don't think they're being malicious but more of a wishful thinking kind of mentality...like if she's not in a cast, then she must be alright...

This is what happened to my DD. She had fractured her foot but it did not show up on x-ray right away. They put her in a boot just in case and the whole time she wore it the coaches kindof thought she was faking it. It took 3 x-rays for the fracture to show up. So 2 doctor notes later they finally believed her. They never made her workout outside of conditioning but they did give her a hard time about it for awhile.

 

[UnoMas]

Then it is definitly time to seek a new gym!!

I totally agree. Blatant disregard of clearly stated medical advice is unacceptable.