WAG Haney under investigation

[Deleted member 18037]

There is a huge difference between watching occasionally and watching every minute of every practice.

Just as not being able to watch at all is a huge red flag regarding the gym

A parent watching every minute of practice is a huge red flag regarding the parent

 

[skschlag]

There is a huge difference between watching occasionally and watching every minute of every practice.

Just as not being able to watch at all is a huge red flag regarding the gym

A parent watching every minute of practice is a huge red flag regarding the parent

And you have to be able to differentiate parents who are there all the time, but not watching or really doing anything that involves gymnastics,, and those that are there all the time and are watching and causing drama. And those that are only there 15 minutes a day, watch, and cause drama. Point is, if a parent is going to cause drama, they will cause it whether they are there or not. And if a parent is not prone to that, sitting there will not cause it (and I speak from a lot of experience as a parent and a coach, and an athlete.)

 

[txgymfan]

If parents in the gym are so disrespectful and disruptive that you ( gym head coaches, gym owners, decision makers) want to implement a policy banning parents from watching then ban that family or change the culture in the gym or both.

 

[Gymnastics_parent]

Life is hard situations are never perfect. Life throws curve balls. @coachp how many gymnasts have you made cry?

Asking that question of coachp really isn't fair.


Life is hard and dealing with relationships and emotions is extremely difficult. I can certainly say that I don't know how many times I have caused others to cry (work, home, otherwise). I certainly try to be sensitive to emotions and push when needed to achieve outcomes that I know are possible. I also want the same from a coach for my daughter. The hard part is that as humans we each need and respond to different things. That is where the we as parents need to be active and aware of how coaches, teachers, and anyone else is impacting our children.

 

[twinmomma]

Parents who want to cause drama will, regardless of the viewing policy. Exactly. In fact, the ones who cause the most at our gym are actually NOT in the gym all that often. But they don't fit the stereotype of the crazy gym parent so it's much easier to point at those of us that are in the gym as the problem.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Life is hard situations are never perfect. Life throws curve balls. @coachp how many gymnasts have you made cry?

ever make your own daughter cry John? Is that that same as a stranger or some crazy jealous parent making them feel uncomfortable at both workouts and meets?

 

[Deleted member 14190]

There is a mom at our gym who has a bizarre hatred toward my child and has gone out of her way so many times in the last several years to try to hurt my kid's feelings. I think the woman is bat@$#! crazy and steer clear of her.

Happens ALL too often. Just send her over to Johns kid, apparently he doesn't care.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Yes, we all know how awful those parents are. If only they would stay out of the gym and not even go to meets, it sure would make life easier for coaches right?

I'm sorry. I'm in a frustrated state right now with gymnastics anyway, but I don't understand how this thread that started about how a COACH was accused of verbally abusing her gymnasts has turned into a PARENTS are bad or crazy for wanting to stay informed about how our children are being treated and/or just wanting to spend their time watching someone they love do something they love.

Are there crazy gym moms out there? Of course there are. Are there bad coaches out there? Yes there are. Am I tired of coaches with massive egos implying that parents are the problem? Yes, I am.

If you read the entire thread you will see it angled in that direction. Massive ego or no ego I have seen plenty of destruction on both sides.

 

[bogwoppit]

This thread is so far off topic, circular arguments but not anything to do with Haney really. Time to move it on back.

 

[John]

@coachp I have indeed made her cry on occasion. Explaining life to her is hard or explaining that she has done wrong, in my eyes, has brought on tears. Those tears may be caused by my approach or by her acceptance that she did wrong and was sorry. I am not scared to answer a question and admit I am not perfect. I apologize to her when I make mistakes.

So have you made kids cry?

To say I do not care about my daughter shows your true nature. It also possibly shows the true coach you are.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

@coachp I have indeed made her cry on occasion. Explaining life to her is hard or explaining that she has done wrong, in my eyes, has brought on tears. Those tears may be caused by my approach or by her acceptance that she did wrong and was sorry. I am not scared to answer a question and admit I am not perfect. I apologize to her when I make mistakes.

So have you made kids cry?

To say I do not care about my daughter shows your true nature. It also possibly shows the true coach you are.

Actually you implied that you didn’t care not me. I believe you equated a parent making someone else’s kid cry to a curve ball, implying it’s not a big deal . And then followed it up with a question to me , again making it seem like it’s not a big deal. However I don’t believe you for one second would sit by and stay quiet if a parent intentionally said something rude to your child. I suspect and hope you would
Stick up for her. Your question has double meaning, and lastly is apples to oranges . A parent throwing jealous hate towards a child for no reason is quite a bit different than Kids crying in sports for various reasons, but one thing is certain I and many don’t try to make kids cry.

 

[bogwoppit]

@coachp I have indeed made her cry on occasion. Explaining life to her is hard or explaining that she has done wrong, in my eyes, has brought on tears. Those tears may be caused by my approach or by her acceptance that she did wrong and was sorry. I am not scared to answer a question and admit I am not perfect. I apologize to her when I make mistakes.

So have you made kids cry?

To say I do not care about my daughter shows your true nature. It also possibly shows the true coach you are.

Actually you implied that you didn’t care not me. I believe you equated a parent making someone else’s kid cry to a curve ball, implying it’s not a big deal . And then followed it up with a question to me , again making it seem like it’s not a big deal. However I don’t believe you for one second would sit by and stay quiet if a parent intentionally said something rude to your child. I suspect and hope you would
Stick up for her. Your question has double meaning, and lastly is apples to oranges . A parent throwing jealous hate towards a child for no reason is quite a bit different than Kids crying in sports for various reasons, but one thing is certain I and many don’t try to make kids cry.

Hey, back on topic please.

 

[wandrewsjr]

Hey, back on topic please.

You're like the godfather, "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"

 

[beachgirl]

Just want to add that it is always very nice of Coach P to come on here and give a coach's POV. It is nice to see all sides.

 

[Flyaway]

So, about the investigation....

Do anyone know how it works? Judging from what I've read here it sounds like they don't necessarily go public if the coach is cleared. So we may never know the outcome?

 

[TumbleTimes4]

According to this article, she has been under investigation since 2016. You should be able to complete an investigation in less than 3 years. This is why parents get frustrated and go to the media because clearly USAG and SafeSport aren’t doing anything about it.

USA Gymnastics received Maggie Haney complaints in 2016

Three years later, Haney continues to coach while under investigation by USA Gymnastics

www.ocregister.com

 

[wandrewsjr]

According to this article, she has been under investigation since 2016. You should be able to complete an investigation in less than 3 years. This is why parents get frustrated and go to the media because clearly USAG and SafeSport aren’t doing anything about it.

USA Gymnastics received Maggie Haney complaints in 2016

Three years later, Haney continues to coach while under investigation by USA Gymnastics

www.ocregister.com

This article does not say she has been under investigation for 3 years, since 2016. It says there were complaints in 2016. It does not say anything about details of investigation into those complaints.

 

[LJL07]

According to this article, she has been under investigation since 2016. You should be able to complete an investigation in less than 3 years. This is why parents get frustrated and go to the media because clearly USAG and SafeSport aren’t doing anything about it.

USA Gymnastics received Maggie Haney complaints in 2016

Three years later, Haney continues to coach while under investigation by USA Gymnastics

www.ocregister.com

It is very difficult to get a response from usag on these types of complaints. It certainly should not take 3 years. I don’t think they have any idea what to do with these types of complaints so they go around in circles.

 

[Omelianchik]

it’s just a matter of time before someone complains about all of us.... my suzie got her feelings hurt.. shouldn’t be made public until it’s official ..... Imagine if school teachers were listed in the news every time a Parent complained.

"Suzie got her feelings hurt" is not remotely the same thing as multiple families filing a formal complaint about verbal abuse. Schoolteachers ARE typically in the news when allegations of abuse are made.

This coach, like any other, is of course entitled to the presumption of innocence, and if she is cleared, I hope that information is appropriately publicized. On the flip side, if the allegations against a coach are true, having the information be public gives other victims a chance to come forward (and is indeed what frequently happens - it is MUCH easier to say "me too" than to bring an allegation on one's own). I think there must be a balance somewhere, and I don't claim to have the perfect solution, but jumping to the conclusion of "oh, now EVERYONE will be making allegations" is a) not based on anything resembling fact; and b) smacks of the same dismissive attitude that has allowed so much abuse to fester.

I get that you're a coach and your instinct is probably "what if this happened to me (knowing I would be innocent)?," but the idea that innocent coaches' careers are being ruined left and right is laughable. Just off the top of my head, I can think of a prominent elite coach who had two gymnasts die under his care, another whose rape of his gymnasts was documented in print for YEARS while he continued to coach, and the NATIONAL TEAM COORDINATORS whose abusive techniques were described again and again while the gymnastics community bent over backward to excuse them. I don't see it as a bad thing that allegations are finally being taken seriously.

 

[suds]

Begin with the end in mind:

A culture of safety requires that everyone feels comfortable speaking up,
and everyone is willing to be receptive to those who do speak up.

This is how housekeepers in hospitals save a life by noticing a patient that is at imminent safety risk.
This is how the airline industry keeps flight travel safe, by ensuring open communication on safety issues between different workers.
Anyone can, and should, speak up regarding this.

I would like to see this culture in our gyms across the country.
Staying observant, receptive, and nonjudgmental helps keep children safe.