Parents Help: Pressure to switch to Excel and leave compulsory track.. :(

[raenndrops]

Thank you all, so much, for your incredibly helpful and supportive comments. Thank you, thank you!

I was in tears earlier when a very kind gym mom from dd's pre-team asked me if dd was invited to join the junior-team. The mom was fully surprised when I told her that my dd was only offered Excel since her dd (who's just 6) WAS offered a spot on the junior team and this mom told the gym that her dd was too young and wanted to wait at least another year to move up. AND, this mom couldn't believe my dd wasn't invited since my dd placed 3rd over-all in a mock-meet the gym had last month out of all 20 girls on their pre-team while her dd didn't place at all in any of the meet's events, and her dd can't even do a back kick-over yet while my dd can do ALL the moves on bars, beam, floor, vault (including back kick-overs cleanly over and over again). So, she suggested it does sound like dd didn't get invited because she's 9 (on the older side) and this one coach (out of the 4 pre-team coaches) seemed to be recommending all of her own students from her class be moved up to the junior-team (including the 6 year-old), while my daughter has never even met this coach who apparently was doing all the recommending of her own students to the gym owner to recruit her students only to the junior team. Just sounds like a no-win situation for my dd.

Makes me want to absolutely move dd to another gym- yet the other gyms are 30-60 min away and it's a big strain on our family to drive her that distance while our current gym is 10 minutes away. I will be thinking a lot in the next few weeks about all this, and I agree with the poster who suggested that if dd wasn't picked this time for junior, most likely she wont' be invited in a year- especially since it's obviously not based at all on the child's skill level. What a big disappointment. Thanks mom's, you're very kind for replying.

Given this new information, I would definitely switch her to Xcel... at this gym if possible. She can always switch gyms later if necessary. There are girls that do compete Xcel even at JO L9 abilities, so there is no harm in letting her COMPETE something! BTW- I don't like your gym's methods. Invites should have gone to the top xx gymnasts at the mock meet (top however many they wanted to move up... or top 3 AA and some that did well on 2-3 events)... but even then, she would have had a whole other year before moving to the "real" team - and, to me, that's ridiculous! Especially if she has the skills now!

 

[gymdog]

Do people ever switch from Xcel Silver or Gold to level 4? If the kids on the junior team aren't even doing back kickover a and wouldn't compete for 1.5 years it doesn't sound like the appropriate placement for a 9 year old. I mean this in a nice way but I am not sure it is appropriate or in proportion for you to be taking this decision so hard or so personally. As a coach, it seems to me like they are recommending for her compete immediately but don't think she is ready for level 4 (the first level they compete if junior team doesn't? Can't really figure it out).

We frequently do the same thing with 9-10 year olds because they progress faster with the motivation of competitions and would be held back being with 5-6 year olds who aren't physically developed enough to work on certain things and take much longer to learn and remember routines. Then we move them to JO track somewhere between levels 4-6 where appropriate, or it will become clear they are more suitable for Xcel. We also move kids from preteam to Xcel Bronze if it seems like they would be more successful in that track than level 3.

But the bottom line is, we move kids to competitive Xcel groups WHEN THEY ARE READY TO COMPETE...so in that sense, every Xcel competitive group we have is more advanced in some way than developmental groups that do not compete. They might be working towards different goals, but we have standards for how a kid looks and needs to perform and know in order to go out and represent the gym in competitions.

I have met some careless coaches but most likely your child's placement represents the most appropriate placement for her at her gym. Other gyms might have different standards but it doesn't mean these guys are "wrong" - different programs offer slightly different things. The elite track at WOGA requires something else than the pre-TOPs "elite" track requires at some gyms than the JO track requires at other gyms..the list goes on and on. I am somewhat selective but I would imagine half my JO team wouldn't make it at some elite gyms that get tons of requests to switch and have waiting lists.

 

[momof2gymmies]

My girls both do xcel, which is very competitive at our gym. YDD has twice been offered a spot on JO. ODD has not. ODD made team when she was 8, almost 9. She was too old for JO. (A rule at our gym which I think is stupid, but since I am not in charge I get no say.) She tried out for JO again this year. Was told she is too old for L5. She is 10! She had a wonderful year as an xcel silver - competed her back tuck, her back walkover on beam, her kips. She will be repeating silver next year, b/c there is a hard and fast rule that the xcel kids do 2 years at each level. YDD was offered JO last year at 7. We turned it down. Was offered L4 this year again as an 8 year old. We said no again. She will be competing bronze again. YDD is my crazy wild child. She has no fear in the gym - has some crazy skills, but would not be happy doing JO. She loves her friends and coaches and is happy where she is.

While I see many, many problems with how our gym moves the kids to team, and I really wish that ODD would have been given a chance on JO, I am happy with how they are doing. I know that they are not going to the olympics. I know that a chance of a college scholarship are not there. But, they are happy, healthy, ;earning new gymnastics skills and new life lessons every time they walk in the gym. I have a 12 year old who is very, very good at another sport. Made the state team, which feeds into the national team in 2 years, which feeds into the junior olympic team in 2 more years. They took 25 kids out of more than 700 who tried out. You know what - he thinks he might want to quit. His states goal is to play in high school, maybe college. At this point he would not have difficulty doing that. I know things can change and he could be injured in a heartbeat, but he does have a real shot. But he is not sure he wants it. He has dedicated hour, and hours to this sport, once out of love. He is going to go through the summer, and then decide what he wants to go.

If your gym treats the xcel kids equally, if your daughter is learning new skills and is happy, then xcel can be a great program.

 

[profmom]

A lot depends on how good the XCel program is. Ours is very good. Nice, big team all the way up through Diamond, with some Diamond girls who could likely outscore some of our JO 8s.

 

[CLgym]

So many of the posts here have been great, and raise some really important points. Is it possible to have a candid conversation with your head coach or other decision-making coach? It was very helpful for me to do that regarding my own DD's initially disappointing move from pre team to Xcel Bronze. While I don't agree philosophically with everything that went into the Xcel decision for my DD, I learned and now believe that the decision was actually made with DD's best interest in mind (for a lot the reasons shared by gymdog, e.g., older girls ready to compete and move faster, better coaching situation in Xcel for personality reasons, will stay with closest gym friends, will likely have greater immediate success, etc.). I also learned many great things about the quality of our Xcel Bronze program, which I had initially dismissed as not as good. Finally, there is a string on here somewhere in response to a question I posted regarding moving from Xcel to JO, and it seems possible up to a point if the Xcel training is good (although it may not be allowed at your current gym -- you'd have to check about that -- but possibly at another gym). So your decision to try Xcel does not need to be viewed as closing a door forever. Rather, it may be just one more step in a long journey. Good luck.

 

[bookworm]

I think that your gym has already pegged your daughter at the ripe old age of 9, as too old to be a part of their competitive team program so , as much as you don't want to drive further, to me, what you're in the midst of now is like burning money in the backyard....she's not going to progress much here, her confidence has taken a big hit and as you say, she's depressed, at 9...... at 9, she should at least be having fun with her sport.

I am one who has had a long commute ( a low of 40 miles each way to currently 80 one way) for all of my daughters' years in this sport ( 14+) , so I get the whole impact on the family and time invested thing but if I were you, with what you have been told, I would see a move to a gym more conducive to her strengths as my only option. I think if she stays where you are now, she won't be long for the sport.....

 

[duyetanh]

Your daughter is 9. Ask HER what she wants to do. Explain the options. I realize the commute is long, but for many on this board that drive is standard. I think it is important for children to take some ownership on their decisions and choices, even at a young age. It beats festering and stewing over it all., and then you can remind your child that this is what SHE wanted afterall.
If I was in your situation, and it was that important to my child, I would get her evaluated at another gym, and if they said she could be on their team program, I would explain to my child what she would be gaining (opportunity to be on team, opportunity to keep moving towards dreams, etc), as well as what she would be losing (friends from old gym, family time, free time, etc)...and then do what we felt was best for our family. Good luck.