Parents How can I help my daughter overcome a rough meet?

[DaiseyMasey]

My 10yo daughter is a first year xcel silver. She just came off an amazing meet where she nailed all her routines and was 1st in the AA. Today she had the complete opposite experience and placed near the bottom AA. Fell off the beam and the bars (which has never happened). She was pretty rattled throughout the meet. I could see her nerves from the stands. She’s usually so level headed and rarely gets nervous.
She was so disappointed after and doesn’t want to talk about it. I’m giving her her space, but I of course told her she did well and that all meets won’t be as successful as others and that this is ok. I’m just looking for advice to help her get out of her own head and to not let it rattle her at practice or going into her next meet. And is this a normal experience? To have such extreme ends of the spectrum from meet to meet? We’re still only a year into competing and have a lot to learn

 

[Dahlialover]

It’s not normal, although it does happen. My guess is that she’ll probably wake up with a fever tomorrow.

 

[DaiseyMasey]

It’s not normal, although it does happen. My guess is that she’ll probably wake up with a fever tomorrow.

I was actually thinking that maybe she’s getting sick.

 

[Milliex2]

When my kiddo has a rough meet I always avoid saying anything like “you did great!” As they objectively know they did not, so it just feels disingenuous. I try to focus on finding a few things they DID do well.
I’m so proud you competed that new skill for the first time.
That stick on your vault was amazing!
You really fought for that skill. I’m so proud of how hard you work out there.
I also remind them that medals and placings don’t define them as a gymnast, nor does one meet.
I’d give her a few days and see if she’s willing to talk about it at all. Sometimes having a rough event can really set a tone for the rest of the meet and she might need some strategies to shake it off and keep moving forward.

 

[NYCMom]

I wonder if maybe she put extra pressure on herself after coming off such an excellent meet. You mentioned you could see her nerves from the stands. Maybe after finishing 1AA she consciously or subconsciously set that as the “bar” for herself and then felt too much pressure at her next meet which led to the falls. My daughter has definitely done that! But I think these things even out over time with more experience and the understanding that no one meet is a make or break thing.

 

[DaiseyMasey]

When my kiddo has a rough meet I always avoid saying anything like “you did great!” As they objectively know they did not, so it just feels disingenuous. I try to focus on finding a few things they DID do well.
I’m so proud you competed that new skill for the first time.
That stick on your vault was amazing!
You really fought for that skill. I’m so proud of how hard you work out there.
I also remind them that medals and placings don’t define them as a gymnast, nor does one meet.
I’d give her a few days and see if she’s willing to talk about it at all. Sometimes having a rough event can really set a tone for the rest of the meet and she might need some strategies to shake it off and keep moving forward.

Yes, I’m trying to walk the line of validating her feelings and not focusing on the set backs. I’m letting her take the lead as far as wanting to talk about it. I did tell her I was really proud of how she got right back up after both falls and completed her routine without hesitation. I also complimented some other random things. She definitely seems down about it all, but hopefully a few weeks of practice before the next meet is enough to shake these feelings

 

[DaiseyMasey]

I wonder if maybe she put extra pressure on herself after coming off such an excellent meet. You mentioned you could see her nerves from the stands. Maybe after finishing 1AA she consciously or subconsciously set that as the “bar” for herself and then felt too much pressure at her next meet which led to the falls. My daughter has definitely done that! But I think these things even out over time with more experience and the understanding that no one meet is a make or break thing.

Yes! I told her one meet does not define her. I’m hoping the coaches have words of wisdom at the next practice bc I know she doesn’t want to hear these things from mom lol