Parents How to help DD wait a whole 16 months until first competition?

[gymhorsemom]

So my DD very much wants to be a competitive gymnast. She lives and breathes gymnastics, practices, would be at gym every day if she could, loves anything gymnastics themed, etc. It has ended up taking her quite a while to make team (it will be about 3.5 years in the sport and 2.5 years on pre team before she ever competes). Our gym starts competing at level 3 and she's just not close enough with some of the bar skills to compete this August. She seems a little disappointed but still excited for gym etc, but I'm guessing it will be a little hard for her when competition season comes and most of her group is competing while she's still on pre team. What can I do to make this easier? 16 months is a long time for such a young kid (she's 7.5) particularly when she spends so much time at gymnastics already. I'm sure I'm not the only gym mom who has dealt with this -how did your DD take it and what did you do that helped?

 

[txgymfan]

Seven and a half is such a cute age. They are getting bigger but still babies.


Talk to your coaches and if they are not getting new warm ups next year, see if you can order her one. If your gym has a home meet arrange for her to be a volunteer. Little team members can often dress up in team warm ups and do small tasks.
Go to a local meet so she can cheer on her teammates, preferably in her team gear.

 

[billise]

That's a tough one. My DD competed level 3 in the Fall of 2013 as a 6 year old. She had all the level 3 skills safely but they weren't very pretty at all in terms of form. Many gyms probably would not have let her compete but our old gym's philosophy was basically: As long as these little ones have the skills safely let them compete. Their scores might be low but that's ok.

Our old gym's compulsory levels competed AAU because AAU's awards structure ensured every girl who competed AA got a medal. Those who had the better scores got event medals and trophies as well. It worked out great for my 6 year old. She was young enough to not really be overly concerned about her scores. She had fun and it was fun watching her compete and get her name called even if her only medal was for AA.

Fast forward to Fall of 2014. DD was now 7 and we had switched gyms due to a cross country move. New gym is in a very competitive region and competes USAG at every level. DD was not polished enough to compete level 3 at new gym so she spent this past season just training to get her skills cleaner. Head coach told me that if she had competed she probably would have come in last at every meet and I didn't disagree when I looked at her compared to the other level 3's. Although DD really wanted to compete she was ok with sitting this past season out because the concept of scores had started to mean something to her and she doesn't want to come in last all the time. Not sure if she would have taken the "demotion" as well had she not had that year of competition (with real scoring) under her belt. I'm glad my DD got a chance to compete with less than "perfect" skills at age 6, she simply wasn't mature enough at that point for low scores to bother her but I'm not sure I would feel the same at age 8 because at that age low scores all the time could really hurt their confidence.

All that to say, it's most likely going to be tough on her but just continue to encourage her that her gym is preparing her for success not just competition. Her patience and hard work will pay off and it will be all the more sweet when she does move up .

Also, this might be a little hard for her to swallow but let her know that if she loves gym she's going to have to get use to others moving on without her and her moving on without others. It's just the nature of gymnastics. Kids acquire different skills at different rates and that's going to be the case as long as gymnastics is her sport of choice.

Best wishes to you guys and I look forward she hearing about her journey

 

[Deleted member 18037]

It's April. How can any one be sure she won't have skills by August??

 

[Deleted member 18037]

It's April. How do you know she won't be ready by August. Sorry for the double post

 

[gymdog]

I wouldn't say anything at all because you said she is still excited and loves it. If you bring it up this way she might sense that you are disappointed about it more than her and then feel bad. I would also self reflect and consider whether this may be the case. If so, that is fairly normal, but again, don't mention anything.

 

[lovemygymnast]

I think if she loves gymnastics then she'll be fine with being patient and it will make her more determined to get the skills. My dd says she loves gymnastics because it's so hard! Well, because it's so hard is why these gymnasts get skills at different rates, which allows for some to move on while others don't. If she does say anything about why other girls got to move but she didn't, just tell her that everyone develops skills at a different rate!

My dd was 4 1/2 when she started training old 3 (new 2), competed it at 5, competed new 3 at 6 and this year competed 4 at 7. But a good friend who started before my dd, wasn't even asked on preteam until she was 7.5. At 8, she's been competing and scoring 37-38's and 1st place in every event at almost every meet!!! The bars seemed to be her weakest area prior to being on team but one day, it just started clicking for her. So, I'm saying, they're all different. I remember my friend kept comparing her daughter to mine (when mine got on team & hers didn't) & I kept saying "you can't compare one kid to another in gymnastics" and you just can't!! I would say mine has body awareness beyond her years but her form isn't always perfect (although gets better each season) but her friends form is perfect!! So, your dd will perfect her form and move on and probably be fantastic! Good luck to her!! I know it's hard to see the long term but she'll get there before you know it!!!

 

[LJL07]

Would they let her start competing in one of the later meets if she's not quite ready in August?

 

[gracyomalley]

DD old gym did a nice combo - they had a group of (mostly very young - 6-8 year old) "non-competing Level5s (new 4 - they skipped old4/new 3). They were "on team", helped at meets, did team hours (about 12 a week) and simply worked on the skills/routines until they were ready. This was after "pre-team". Some kids spent 2 years there, some 2 months....As they were working on the same skills as the other girls, just not ready for competition, it worked quite well and girls could move into the competing group when ready.

New gym is much bigger and busier - more likely to label kids a certain level and although move up during season is allowed with skills, it rarely happens when the coaching ratio is sometimes 1:15 - at level 7+.

Its all about how the coaches and parents frame it - she's not quite ready to compete but that doesn't mean she's not a gymnast!!!

 

[AV24]

We are in exactly the same boat. It's going to be a year from August before mine competes level 3. It feels like forever. I'm not even sure my DD will stay in gymnastics that long, and it's a shame, because I think if she got a taste of competition (and medals/ribbons) it would be very exciting for her. I don't have any advice for you - just shared frustration.

Our gym doesn't move up mid-season, and they decide now who will be ready for fall competition. Only the girls who move into the level 3 training group now will begin training on routines and get extra hours, so if you aren't picked now then it's a guarantee that you won't be ready by August. That's my understanding, anyway. Our gym likes routines to be extremely polished. It sounds a lot like billsie's gym.

 

[Flyaway]

From a financial aspect, it could be a good thing for you! Meets and travel are very expensive and while a great experience, it can sting a little if your gymnast isn't very competitive (please note I'm not saying it's not worth it! My dd didn't hit the podium once this season). This way you can focus dd's time, energy (and your money!) towards getting and perfecting those skills so she can hopefully have a stellar season. As long as she's loving it, just keep encouraging her to try her best! The long wait will make her first season that much sweeter.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I think if she got a taste of competition (and medals/ribbons) it would be very exciting for her. I don't have any advice for you - just shared frustration.

.

Once you get past the lower levels, pre-team thing. Its not medals and ribbons. Unless you place well. And the majority don't. Our coaches were very clear, starting at Level 3, not everyone gets a ribbon/medal for just being there.

If its medals and ribbons, there are many a child disappointed. I have seen them crying and horribly upset at meets.

We have had our share this year. Our girls are used to being on the podium. And yet one or two time this year some of the girls just didn't place where they were used to. Its hard on them, but that is reality. And it will only get harder as they move up.

If your child is not motivated by personal improvement and just enjoying gymnastics and just medals and ribbons, its going to be a short and not so fun time.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Our gym doesn't move up mid-season, and they decide now who will be ready for fall competition. Only the girls who move into the level 3 training group now will begin training on routines and get extra hours, so if you aren't picked now then it's a guarantee that you won't be ready by August. That's my understanding, anyway. Our gym likes routines to be extremely polished. It sounds a lot like billsie's gym.

That makes me sad.

Our gym doesn't score out or move up mid season. They do up-train though. So the kids are always moving forward.

 

[gymhorsemom]

We are in exactly the same boat. It's going to be a year from August before mine competes level 3. It feels like forever. I'm not even sure my DD will stay in gymnastics that long, and it's a shame, because I think if she got a taste of competition (and medals/ribbons) it would be very exciting for her. I don't have any advice for you - just shared frustration.

Our gym doesn't move up mid-season, and they decide now who will be ready for fall competition. Only the girls who move into the level 3 training group now will begin training on routines and get extra hours, so if you aren't picked now then it's a guarantee that you won't be ready by August. That's my understanding, anyway. Our gym likes routines to be extremely polished. It sounds a lot like billsie's gym.

Ugh sorry to hear but nice to have someone to share frustration with! It's this way at our gym too -it's already been decided who will and will not move up and from what I can tell there's no changing that -the girls are moving into separate groups soon and those who will compete will learn routines and those who will not won't. My daughter was one of 2 girls who the coach thought possibly could compete but she just wasn't sure enough .

 

[AV24]

Once you get past the lower levels, pre-team thing. Its not medals and ribbons. Unless you place well. And the majority don't. Our coaches were very clear, starting at Level 3, not everyone gets a ribbon/medal for just being there.

If its medals and ribbons, there are many a child disappointed. I have seen them crying and horribly upset at meets.

We have had our share this year. Our girls are used to being on the podium. And yet one or two time this year some of the girls just didn't place where they were used to. Its hard on them, but that is reality. And it will only get harder as they move up.

If your child is not motivated by personal improvement and just enjoying gymnastics and just medals and ribbons, its going to be a short and not so fun time.

I know this. And I'm trying to enjoy her being in it for as long as possible, because I see the handwriting on the wall. She won't last, but she's getting really good, so I personally would love to see her compete at least once. Maybe she'll surprise me and stick with it, but I doubt it.

 

[gymhorsemom]

I know this. And I'm trying to enjoy her being in it for as long as possible, because I see the handwriting on the wall. She won't last, but she's getting really good, so I personally would love to see her compete at least once. Maybe she'll surprise me and stick with it, but I doubt it.

Just curious -what makes you think she won't last? I worry that my daughter will ultimately get frustrated that gymnastics doesn't come as easily to her as it does to some. But so far she's not showing any signs of this. Does your daughter just have a lot of other interests that are pulling her away from gym or does she just not love gymnastics?

 

[AV24]

Ugh sorry to hear but nice to have someone to share frustration with! It's this way at our gym too -it's already been decided who will and will not move up and from what I can tell there's no changing that -the girls are moving into separate groups soon and those who will compete will learn routines and those who will not won't. My daughter was one of 2 girls who the coach thought possibly could compete but she just wasn't sure enough .

That stinks! Don't you wish she would let your DD at least train with them and give her a try? I'm always on the fence about this, though, because I've watched a little girl who was put in level 3 too early this past year, and she struggled all season. In practice, we would always hear her name called out for not keeping up in conditioning and not having her skills perfected. I kept thinking that I didn't want my kid to be put in that position at some point. I don't know if it hurt her self-confidence or if she really didn't care, but she was always last at meets.

So I can see both sides, truly. If we lived in a less competitive area, things might be different. I wish my kid could have the experience of competing, but it probably won't happen. At least not for awhile. If she quits and changes her mind later, she might be able to compete in Xcel or TAAF or T&T. We'll see.

I hope yours isn't bothered by the wait!! <hugs>

 

[AV24]

Just curious -what makes you think she won't last? I worry that my daughter will ultimately get frustrated that gymnastics doesn't come as easily to her as it does to some. But so far she's not showing any signs of this. Does your daughter just have a lot of other interests that are pulling her away from gym or does she just not love gymnastics?

She is a complicated case. She has a great time when she's there, and she doesn't even mind the conditioning. She picks up skills quickly, makes corrections well and is strong. The problem is that she complains about going - not all the time - but enough that I can't see her sticking with it when the hours increase. She is a strong-willed little thing, and she has it in her mind that she'll get on the team, try it for a bit, and then quit if she doesn't like it. We go months without any incident, and then randomly she'll start talking about quitting again. She isn't involved in any other activities, so it isn't that. More than anything, I think it's that she is tired right after school and wants some down time before gym, and that just can't happen with the team hours. Once she's there, you would never know, because she has the time of her life. I just don't want to battle her over it, so if she gets persistent about quitting, it's probably for the best. It makes me sad, but I'm trying to remember that it's not about me.

 

[gymhorsemom]

That stinks! Don't you wish she would let your DD at least train with them and give her a try? I'm always on the fence about this, though, because I've watched a little girl who was put in level 3 too early this past year, and she struggled all season. In practice, we would always hear her name called out for not keeping up in conditioning and not having her skills perfected. I kept thinking that I didn't want my kid to be put in that position at some point. I don't know if it hurt her self-confidence or if she really didn't care, but she was always last at meets.

So I can see both sides, truly. If we lived in a less competitive area, things might be different. I wish my kid could have the experience of competing, but it probably won't happen. At least not for awhile. If she quits and changes her mind later, she might be able to compete in Xcel or TAAF or T&T. We'll see.

I hope yours isn't bothered by the wait!! <hugs>

There is a BIG part of me who wishes they would give her a try. But then there's a part of me who knows this is probably for the best. Honestly our gym is not known for placing well at meets and I think most of the girls who are moving to team are going to have a rough time in the Fall. We are in a competitive area but not at a competitive gym -so there's something nice about taking all the advantage we can get which in this case is an extra year to prepare. Hopefully my DD will do well the following year. I have heard of kids quitting after a first competitive season b/c they didn't place well -and this would be a sad way to end this adventure

 

[AV24]

That is a very healthy way of looking at it!