Parents If you knew then what you know now....

[Tbrov]

I think maybe your experience is different because you had 2 kids who are both equally involved in the same sport (presumably at the same gym) so you get to spend a lot of time together. For most people, this is just not the case. For us, we lead basically separate lives everyday except for weekends and 1 night during the week when everyone is home together after 7. We are definitely sacrificing family time for gymnastics

Absolutely my experience is specific to our family; both children chose the same sport and both did well. We live only 4 minutes from our gym. We found schools that accommodated the gym schedule. We are at a gym that does a great job helping with college recruiting. Obviously every family will make decisions based on their own experiences. It's just that I'm reading all these "no, we wouldn't have done it." But for some, gymnastics is a positive journey. I wanted to express that.

 

[Pirouette]

Our experience has been so different from most described so far. DD15 started gym at age 11, and after a year of pre-team, joined Xcel Silver. She's currently a Gold, high-school sophomore, who also does cross country and track for her high school. She was so fortunate that the gym we chose for her (not the closest one, but the one we felt was the best fit), started a Silver team for her and 3 other girls that year. Xcel has grown must bigger in her gym since then and she has a great team and coaches she likes and respects.

I don't regret that she started gym later than most. She's hoping/planning to stay in through graduation, and we're thankful that Xcel is available to her. She doesn't want JO hours.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Yes.

We have a gym that works for our life.

My daughter had gained so much. Strength, work ethic, time management skills, great friends.

And when it no longer works for her, we will look forward to what comes next.

When one door closes, another opens.....

 

[kris]

As long as the beating on her body doesn't come back to haunt her as an adult, I would do it again. That said, I would definitely have done it at a different gym, so she would have had a better foundation that would have hopefully let her get through her big growth spurt with less injuries. She left the sport right when she turned 13 and I am grateful for that, but she learned a lot of lessons -- time management, perseverance, overcoming fears, working hard and succeeding, working hard and still failing, being happy for others even when you have a bad practice or meet, etc. -- that continue to shape who she is even now.

 

[LJL07]

Absolutely my experience is specific to our family; both children chose the same sport and both did well. We live only 4 minutes from our gym. We found schools that accommodated the gym schedule. We are at a gym that does a great job helping with college recruiting. Obviously every family will make decisions based on their own experiences. It's just that I'm reading all these "no, we wouldn't have done it." But for some, gymnastics is a positive journey. I wanted to express that.

Wow! This is the ideal. I wish we could all be so lucky. I don’t mean this sarcastically at all. Most people outside the gymnastics world do not understand the level of commitment involved, so finding a school who will support this is wonderful! I have two daughters in the sport as well and one not in the sport. It has been hard for the daughter not in the sport, but the two in the sport are extremely close. We’ve had a rough road, and it is easy to overlook the positives.

 

[RTT2]

I appreciate reading all of these different perspectives. The question has been on my mind lately. Although right now both kids are extremely happy with gymnastics and thriving, I sometimes wonder if we will all look back on this as a mostly positive experience or not.

 

[gymmom10]

I think that it is also difficult to know the end result on your child until long after gymnastics is over. I wonder how her body will be holding up 10 years from now and more. I wonder if she will have all great memories and any struggles will fade. I said that yes I would do it all again and I meant it. However, I answered the question by keeping myself out of it and I have not liked the effect her gymnastics has had on me all these years. I feel that it has brought out some of my worst tendencies- worry, anxiety, obsessiveness, I’m sure there are other things! I have always wondered if there was any other sport which would have had that same effect on me and I just can’t imagine there is- the danger of the elements as you get to the higher levels, the race to get to L 10 in time for college when you started too late, the injuries, the gym drama, I could go on and on. When your child has big dreams, you worry right along with them about realizing those dreams, at least I did. Anyway I felt a lot of stress through the years and through recruiting. I’m not sure that I could go through it all again even though my daughter’s dreams did come true!

 

[VanessaJV]

My daughter retired 6 months ago after repeated fractures in her back and spondylolisthesis. It has been a very difficult 6 months. The year before retiring was not sunshine and rainbows either. However with all that being said, I would do it again in a heart beat....even if I knew it would end exactly the same way. What she has gotten from the sport will carry her far in her life and I would never want to take the lessons she has learned on this journey away.

 

[seoulmama]

Honestly, no. Any positive life lessons were erased by the coaching style and pervasive feeling of never being good enough.

 

[RTT2]

Honestly, no. Any positive life lessons were erased by the coaching style and pervasive feeling of never being good enough.

I can understand that since we left that same gym.

 

[rgmom]

Yes. I would say for us, the positives outweighed the negatives. With twins who are now seniors in high school, we certainly have had our share of ups and downs. We have had 12 years and counting as a gymnastics family and so many lessons learned, good and bad. What I wanted to write was very similar to what @Tbrov wrote a few posts back. I am very proud of both of my girls, they are both tough as nails, they have grit, and amazing determination that has powered both through some tough times. One daughter will continue on in the NCAA and the other may as well, in a sport that loves to recruit ex-gymnasts. The only negative (for me) is that they will be on opposite coasts.........

 

[reluctant]

Yes. I would say for us, the positives outweighed the negatives. With twins who are now seniors in high school, we certainly have had our share of ups and downs. We have had 12 years and counting as a gymnastics family and so many lessons learned, good and bad. What I wanted to write was very similar to what @Tbrov wrote a few posts back. I am very proud of both of my girls, they are both tough as nails, they have grit, and amazing determination that has powered both through some tough times. One daughter will continue on in the NCAA and the other may as well, in a sport that loves to recruit ex-gymnasts. The only negative (for me) is that they will be on opposite coasts.........

Can you tell us what the other sport is? I'm curious.

 

[Racpp]

Yes.

My girls’ situation is different than most of yours as they do gymnastics through a YMCA. Practice hours are about half of club gyms and the coaches actively encourage the girls to do school sports and music groups.

I never imagined they’d do gymnastics at all. It was by chance my older dd was seen doing something else at the Y and the head gym coach invited her to try a gym class because she had fairly good body control and followed directions. It was winter time and I figured it would be a way to get out some energy until the weather broke. She loved the class, but when the weather broke, I didn’t enroll her again. She was off and on in rec classes for a couple of years, and the gym bug bit her.

Both of my girls aren’t afraid of challenges, expect to give nothing less than their best efforts, know how to dust themselves off and try again. They have these traits as part of their natural personalities, but gymnastics really solidified those parts into the core of who they are. They can balance top level school classes, musical instruments, community and religious organizations, supporting their brother in his sports and music, and their own school sports while still competing gymnastics.

They haven’t given up a “real life.” They might choose to skip a party to go to practice, but it’s usually a party they wanted an excuse to miss.

The older daughter has a legit shot atanother sport in college. Her physical strength and work ethic and keep trying attitude were easily transferred to rthis sport and the coaches gush at her coachability. Thank you Gymnastics!

 

[CuriousCate]

No.

I love how physically strong they are and the friendships made (the parents and kids) but the culture of this sport, at least from what we have experienced, is beginning to outweigh the good.

 

[reluctant]

Absolutely my experience is specific to our family; both children chose the same sport and both did well. We live only 4 minutes from our gym. We found schools that accommodated the gym schedule. We are at a gym that does a great job helping with college recruiting. Obviously every family will make decisions based on their own experiences. It's just that I'm reading all these "no, we wouldn't have done it." But for some, gymnastics is a positive journey. I wanted to express that.

My 14 year old is a second year 9. I am hoping this is her last year. I'd rather her not have to slop through homework starting at 9:45 pm and us have to feel bad when we go on vacation. I think she'll make a great frisbee player, pole vaulter, diver, volleyball player, high jumper etc.

 

[momof2gymmies]

No, no no. I am trying to get 14 year old DD to quit. Having YDD quit, and get her love of herself back makes me regret putting either one in. Maybe a different gym would help, and I have already told DD that she no longer has a choice, she is moving after states/regionals this year, whether she wants to or not. But watching how beat up she feels, no, I wouldn't do it again.

 

[KipNurse]

I think yes, however I would have not switched gyms and I would have "encouraged" her to stop after 5th grade. We switched gyms thinking it would propel our "super talented" kid towards better coaching and a college future. I bought into the crazy. Moving gyms moved us out of our home base town, and FURTHER isolated my kid from her school friends and our community. Stopping before fall of 7th grade had us scrambling to find something to do as it was too late for school sports. SO many of the school kids have a "crew", where mine is almost like starting a new school.

HOWEVER...what gymnastics gave her is confidence so she isn't sweating not being part of any group just yet. She has enjoyed her time off and is excited for track and competition cheer. I'm the one who had more of the problem of realizing how very OUT of the loop she is with her school peeps. But it will work out.

Sorry for long answer, but I was thinking and typing. Bottom line, yes we'd do it again because she's super physically strong (at our local gym everyone thinks she's a cross-fit person with her pullups and handstand holds ;-)) and in some aspects mentally strong (I think years of gymnastics also kind of did a number on her "head" game in a way but that is a whole other post ) She's a strong student, and maybe it's best she isn't part of any "crew" as middle school kids can be jerks (no worries, mine can be a jerk too...just a general observation). I'd just stop it sooner, and not have gone through the drama of changing gyms and towns. I would have told my former self to simmer down and that there are a LOT of "talented" kids out there in levels 3, 4, 6 and 7 and to not have stars in my eyes when coaches tell you your kid has college potential. I'm embarrassed to even type that. And to tell my former self to keep my kid in gymnastics for the strength aspect to get her ready for other school and lifetime sports.

Disclaimer: These are JUST my opinions and experiences. As with all of us, every situation is different. I don't like to have regrets, so I like just to think, like the Bob Ross "happy little trees" guy says, there aren't mistakes, just "happy little accidents" My husband and I are LOVING the family time we have back. The family running we are all doing. The family trips. And the dinners together ....So, it's all good. Life is a marathon not a sprint. I'm sure I'd like to tell my former self all kinds of things....

Great posts everyone!

 

[suebee]

I find this thread really interesting. I started a similar one several years ago, I believe, and at that time, I believe all the responses were 100% positive. I find it very interesting now that it is much more balanced in terms of positive but also negative experiences. I wonder if all the recent abuse that has been brought to light in gymnastics has made parents re-evaluate their children’s participation in gymnastics and maybe see it in a somewhat different light.

As for myself, the jury is still out, as my dd’s journey in gymnastics continues. Overall, I feel the positives have outweighed the negatives and that’s why she still continues. But I have always felt, and even more so now after reading the responses here, that a lot of the overall view looking back depends on how the journey ends, and that’s what I struggle with.

I have never imagined my dd doing gymnastics in high school. I have been unsure about her doing gymnastics in middle school, and she starts middle school next year. So I do not know if this is the time to stop. I feel like if she ends her gymnastics career too early, she may have regrets and look back and wonder what could have been. But I also feel that if she continues along, other things can happen to make her look back and have regrets, whether that is injury or some other unhealthy situation.

So we take it one day at a time, but my current plan is to ask her to really start evaluating soon whether she wants to continue next season and why and what her goals are. Her team of girls has largely been together for many years with very few leaving in the last several years, and those who have left have left due to injury or due to family relocation for reasons unrelated to gymnastics. So I wonder whether a lot of why she feels like she wants to continue is that the other girls all continue on.

 

[John]

As this thread continues I find it very interesting. I wonder about those that say they would not do it again. Looking for information so I would like to ask a few questions.
1. Have you asked your athletes how they feel about gymnastics?
2. For those considering taking it away from their athletes do you worry about the consequences?
3. To what degree do parents allow their children to navigate their own path? When is the appropriate time to step and redirect? Is there ever an appropriate time to redirect?

 

[Mish]

I think yes, however I would have not switched gyms and I would have "encouraged" her to stop after 5th grade. We switched gyms thinking it would propel our "super talented" kid towards better coaching and a college future. I bought into the crazy. Moving gyms moved us out of our home base town, and FURTHER isolated my kid from her school friends and our community. Stopping before fall of 7th grade had us scrambling to find something to do as it was too late for school sports. SO many of the school kids have a "crew", where mine is almost like starting a new school.

HOWEVER...what gymnastics gave her is confidence so she isn't sweating not being part of any group just yet. She has enjoyed her time off and is excited for track and competition cheer. I'm the one who had more of the problem of realizing how very OUT of the loop she is with her school peeps. But it will work out.

Sorry for long answer, but I was thinking and typing. Bottom line, yes we'd do it again because she's super physically strong (at our local gym everyone thinks she's a cross-fit person with her pullups and handstand holds ;-)) and in some aspects mentally strong (I think years of gymnastics also kind of did a number on her "head" game in a way but that is a whole other post ) She's a strong student, and maybe it's best she isn't part of any "crew" as middle school kids can be jerks (no worries, mine can be a jerk too...just a general observation). I'd just stop it sooner, and not have gone through the drama of changing gyms and towns. I would have told my former self to simmer down and that there are a LOT of "talented" kids out there in levels 3, 4, 6 and 7 and to not have stars in my eyes when coaches tell you your kid has college potential. I'm embarrassed to even type that. And to tell my former self to keep my kid in gymnastics for the strength aspect to get her ready for other school and lifetime sports.

Disclaimer: These are JUST my opinions and experiences. As with all of us, every situation is different. I don't like to have regrets, so I like just to think, like the Bob Ross "happy little trees" guy says, there aren't mistakes, just "happy little accidents" My husband and I are LOVING the family time we have back. The family running we are all doing. The family trips. And the dinners together ....So, it's all good. Life is a marathon not a sprint. I'm sure I'd like to tell my former self all kinds of things....

Great posts everyone!

I wish there was a love button for this post. One common theme in all of our responses is that gymnastics has showed us a side of OURSELVES that may not always be pretty, and I think we have learned a lot from that side of things. Well, I know I have anyway.