WAG I'm annoyed

[Faith]

Ok.

So I'm going to put a slightly different point of view out there.

I have met an increasing amount of parents, including gymnasts, who say their kids aren't fat, they're "big boned", or "have a belly", or they simply think their kids are "skinny", when in fact they are overweight.

Now none of us can see your dd, so there is no way to tell whether this coach is giving you good advice, albeit the wrong way, or bad, or you aren't seeing an issue because you are too close.

I would take your dd to a nutritionist, or health professional, and get it confirmed that she is within the correct weight range and eating a good diet. Then you have medical back up to tell the coach to back off and never mention it again.

 

[CuriousCate]

First meet with your pediatrician and discuss in detail the nutritional and caloric requirements for a child her age and her activity level. If you are that hesitant to leave based on the training, you need to have a sit down with you and the coach and lay down the law. You tell him that her nutrition is balanced and that her caloric intake is fine and that as long as her pediatrician is comfortable with her intake and her performance is great, you will not discuss this again. Bring up to him eating disorders and the increased risks among girls who are told to restrict food early on. Also look up the "female athletic triad" and educate him about it. I am a sports specialized orthopaedic surgeon and treat a lot of adolescent female athletes and this is a BIG deal. Leads to stress fractures, malnutrition, loss of normal puberty/periods...

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Yes to what doodlebug and Faith said.

And finally it sounds like you haven't had a conversation about this with the coach. So of course it keeps coming up. Since he/she can't read your mind, it will keep coming up. Now if tell him to stop it and he doesn't the it's time to go.

Really, it's unfair to blame someone for a repeated behavior/comment if you haven't called them on it.

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

Ok.

So I'm going to put a slightly different point of view out there.

I have met an increasing amount of parents, including gymnasts, who say their kids aren't fat, they're "big boned", or "have a belly", or they simply think their kids are "skinny", when in fact they are overweight.

Now none of us can see your dd, so there is no way to tell whether this coach is giving you good advice, albeit the wrong way, or bad, or you aren't seeing an issue because you are too close.

I would take your dd to a nutritionist, or health professional, and get it confirmed that she is within the correct weight range and eating a good diet. Then you have medical back up to tell the coach to back off and never mention it again.

My dd is above.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

You need to talk to the coach and give them a smackdown.

 

[Dr Maleficent]

My dd is above.

She is pretty similar in body type to my dd. We have had the same comments, but never from the gym. I do watch what she eats as she has inherited the family tendency to put on weight, but her weight has always followed a particular curve. She is active and healthy. For me, encouraging healthy choices is the most important thing, and a healthy self-image.

I would speak to the coach, and as Faith suggested, perhaps have a 'health check' which is always a good idea to do regularly with a growing gymnast. If all ok, report back to coach and request that no further comment is made. I hope it all works out for her and that there can be an end to any such comments.

 

[LindyHopper]

I agree with the above posters who are advocating getting back up or "proof" from a doctor, and perhaps a nutritionist as well, regarding what her caloric intake should be for her age, size, and most importantly activity level.

And I agree with going to coach, telling him that you've heard what he's been saying and because of that, you've checked it out with her doctor. From this point forward, you expect that the coach will not discuss weight, size, or caloric intake with you or your daughter.

But honestly, there are SO many gyms in your state, I would be thinking of moving on regardless--even if it means a further drive to find the coaching styleshe needs to succeed.

 

[l.c.o]

Does your DD get regular annual physicals?

Has her pediatrician ever expressed any concern?

Because seriously, this is just one opinion here, but I see no problem with your DD's weight. Goodness, we've had some concerns about ensuring my DD doesn't end up underweight and that she's got enough weight in her to hit puberty, and her thighs are probably similarly sized to your DD.

Is she maybe slightly "overweight" for a gymnast? I don't know. Gymnasts tend to be quite thin, much more so than "average" so I think this is easily skewed. But my DS is probably heavier for his height than your DD is, and he's had some success... and coach has never said a word. During his last well check, HIS physician commented that his weight for his height is a little on the high side, but that he looks fit (despite not being "skinny" by any stretch), so he was in no way concerned.

This is not to takes the place of your DD's physician's advice. If you think there's enough concern about her weight, and that coach might be right, then head to the pediatrician and he can decide whether a trip to a nutritionist is in order.

Now, I have to say here, in my opinion, regardless if the pediatrician agrees with the coach or not, I'd leave the gym. A coach has no place discussing nutrition specifics beyond perhaps mentioning an awkward "hey, I'm concerned" to you. How do you think similar things will be handled with your DD as she ages? Will those comments go to you or her? Let me tell you, you don't want the comments going to her. My own DD is already seeing a therapist largely due to comments about food from adults in her life in hopes of warding of an eating disorder, because at 12, she's already very clearly heading down that path with unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. One innocuous comment can really skew their thinking. Add in peer issues...

Sorry for writing so much, but it is a sensitive topic for me at the moment.

And for the record, we have a couple of girls with similar builds to your DD (and maybe even a bit "stockier") and they are VERY successful in DD's gym, and my DD looks up to them.

Sorry for any typos as I, not spell checking, got to run!

 

[gymmomtotwo]

You have got to be kidding me. She is perfectly proportioned, fit and strong. She looks like tons of 9 year old gymnasts out there. I detect no belly. Have you looked at typical kids who do no sports? A Dr would laugh a coach out of his or her office face with questions about this child's weight. Not to mention the fact that she is 9. She is prepuberty, pre growth spurt, pre everything. She could grow 6 inches over the next year, and be the slimmest kid out there. I think your coach is a loon, and is completely and utterly wrong.

 

[LindyHopper]

Some gymnasts are Biles, some are Khorkina. Some are Nastia, some are Shawn. Coach needs to learn that not all successful gymnasts fit the same body type (they don't all have to look like his favorite). Sorry, just venting frustrations right now.

 

[lovemygymnast]

I'm with others about letting the coach know that's not okay. Seek out a new gym or put him in his place! I wouldn't risk him hinting anything like that to my kid. And yes, if he's not the owner, go to the owner! Listen, my dd is L6 & super tiny & muscular, she is soooo picky, so she eats crap often, it's genetic & not from me. Lol. There are other girls on her team who are built the complete opposite but they are EXCELLENT gymnasts! They put score her by a mile! That's not fair to judge based on body type but if he wants to give out nutrition tips to the whole team, sure, that's a great idea! But what a jerk!

 

[lovemygymnast]

She looks fit to me!!!

 

[MILgymFAM]

Been there and it made me really mad too. I've had it said by a coach that YDD is simply to heavy to be a gymnast, period, and I've had a different coach give me diet tips for my ODD. The second one was after some girls on ODDs team told her she was fat and made her cry. Instead of dealing with the bullying, he gave me food tips- as if I needed them. My girls have an excellent diet and my ODDis incredibly slim- definitely more a Nastia. Another gym my ODD attended required good logs of all team gymnasts. I refused and that was that. I really think that oversteps their bounds greatly.

 

[my4buffaloes]

You are just annoyed??? I would be furious! Especially after seeing the picture. I work with 9 year olds and many of them have the belly you are talking about. They are little kids and still have the cute baby fat. This is totally normal! Even for a gymnast. And obviously her "size" isn't holding her back in any way. Plus, I have noticed that just prior to kids shooting up, they tend to grow out a little first. Which would explain sometimes the belly sticking out more. But it doesn't matter, at 9 years old you shouldn't be having to watch her starches to avoid the belly sticking out. She is fine!

Ugh, your dd looks perfect to me, I would be out of there very fast to a place that is a healthy environment - regardless of level.

 

[LindyHopper]

I refused and that was that. I really think that oversteps their bounds greatly.

Good for you! As long as they are healthy, nobody needs to know what my children eat except for their father and me.

 

[triplethreat+1]

I had the same thoughts as Faith at first, there are several girls at my dds' gym that have a belly (in an unhealthy looking way), one girl in my dd's group was eating McD's every single time I saw her dropped off (2x/week). So there is sometimes when healthier food choices should be mentioned / encouraged.
But, OP, your dd is not at all fat!
I agree with the others that it's a good idea to speak to a nutritionist or her doctor, so you have something to back you up when you speak to the coach

 

[MILgymFAM]

Ok.

So I'm going to put a slightly different point of view out there.

I have met an increasing amount of parents, including gymnasts, who say their kids aren't fat, they're "big boned", or "have a belly", or they simply think their kids are "skinny", when in fact they are overweight.

Now none of us can see your dd, so there is no way to tell whether this coach is giving you good advice, albeit the wrong way, or bad, or you aren't seeing an issue because you are too close.

I would take your dd to a nutritionist, or health professional, and get it confirmed that she is within the correct weight range and eating a good diet. Then you have medical back up to tell the coach to back off and never mention it again.

Maybe it's an American thing and maybe it's just an us thing, but I've known where my kids were on a height weight scale since birth. Every single well child visit we've ever had contained a portion where the doctor expressed a problem with the girls' weights- ODD has always been underweight (3.5 lbs at birth) and YDD has always been overweight. It's just the way it is. I have heard it from a multitude of doctors, and also from schools. At no point in time, ever, would I want to hear it from a coach. They aren't even trained to give me proper advice anyway. Both times coaches have overstepped that boundary they've given me (IMO) piss poor nutritional advice anyway. I guess I'm hard pressed to believe that a person here wouldn't already know if their kids was significantly over or under weight.

 

[Mom2-4]

You are just annoyed??? I would be furious! Especially after seeing the picture. I work with 9 year olds and many of them have the belly you are talking about. They are little kids and still have the cute baby fat. This is totally normal! Even for a gymnast. And obviously her "size" isn't holding her back in any way. Plus, I have noticed that just prior to kids shooting up, they tend to grow out a little first. Which would explain sometimes the belly sticking out more. But it doesn't matter, at 9 years old you shouldn't be having to watch her starches to avoid the belly sticking out. She is fine!

Ugh, your dd looks perfect to me, I would be out of there very fast to a place that is a healthy environment - regardless of level.

My older DD always had a bit of a belly just before a growth spurt. Her weight was always fine for height. She is not the gymnast daughter but she worried about it. I always told her she needed a little extra room to grow. She is now 5'9 and still fine for her height and weight. The only time my daughters coach has ever said anything to my DD about food is when she had no energy and coach found out that she skipped meals at school. She let her try some protein snacks and tried to remind her that food is fuel. Of course mom the RN had already discussed poor eating habits but she has done better since the coach brought it up. OPs daughter looks fine. But definitely not a road you want your not even tween to start down.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

So long as the coach did not confront the child, I really don't see what the issue is.