WAG Just need to chat about letting go...

[Pea'sMom]

We are in almost the same boat here. Same fears, same skills, same 'has the strength.' Gym is saying no L6 too. It's so hard to watch them struggle!!! Vent here (just did last week) yell at your pillow, vent to a friend and then give DD a big hug. Doing it on your own is a huge deal no matter how messy, celebrate that!

 

[shelovestoflip]

It is SO hard and I'm struggling with this so much right now. Background:
For the past 3 years Dd competed old L5, old L6, then new L5 again due to not having BWO-BHS on beam and giant on bars. She is trying to get to L7 this year again and our gym requires those 2 skills.

After huge fear issues on beam, she finally got her flight. Whew.

She's been having privates on bars and is doing great. She can cast to full handstand and almost gets around on the giant. (she throws her butt out or something, which I think is causing problems). Anyway, she is SO close. And I was so happy for her because I know she doesn't want to repeat this level AGAIN.

Everything I've seen on bars has been with a coach spotting. Not helping --- she can cast to HS herself and usually gets around the bar and then does her flyaway. Not perfect, but should be good enough to move up and then perfect as the season progresses.

Last night I saw her for the first time w/o the coach standing right there on the spotting block. He was off to the side on the floor. Well, it was a mess. cast to just above horizontal and I don't know what to call what she did to get around the bar. She tucked way up and got around, but it was not even close to any sort of skill. My heart sank. There is no way she is moving up with it looking like that. It appears to be a fear thing.

In my head, I know this is HER journey and she will get it when she is ready. And if she decides to NOT be ready and drop the sport (this is not her first fear issue), I will fully support her in that decision. But I'm just crying inside for her. She wants this so badly and is trying so hard. And according to the HC, she has the skill, ability & strength. It is just that damn fear monster again.

I don't bug her about it and just support her and focus on the good things I see in the few minutes I get to watch her.

Anyway, I'm not sure what I'm looking for other than to just type this out and get it off my chest. Thanks for reading, if you actually read this beast!

Would they let her move to the next level without the bars skill? In my daughter's case, she has always been more than ready on every event except bars. In fact, she competed all of last year (1st year 9) doing Level 8 bars. Their feeling was she was more than ready for the other events and keeping her back would just hurt her confidence overall. It was also a fear issue for her. She had a great season even without the bars but missed Regionals by .6 all due to bars. She knew that though and was ok with everything else.

I'm happy there's no hard and fast rule at our gym because sometimes not every kid follows the exact path.

 

[gracyomalley]

I feel ya! DD is presently not even training (won't call it a break, won't say she is ready to quit, etc) because of fear issues and confidence. Nothing for me to do but wait and love her, I guess....she's been doing 90% of her L8 skills in privates all summer - but can't make herself otherwise, and each little bump (a fall on a pirouette, etc) set her back weeks....so different at 12 than she was at 9-10.....

In any case, if your DD coach is good, let them handle it. DD new coach is an amazing woman and gymnast. I have full confidence that if DD decides to return her coach will help her work through all this to continue in gymnastics (maybe to college gym, maybe to L8-9 and happy to be done later on, both would be ok with me but I hate her to just "fade out" because of fear...). Repeating L5 for your DD while training to be a strong confident L7 wouldn't be a bad thing (DD will NOT compete L8 at this point without some sort of confidence boosting miracle...she doesn't think she'd good enough, so it really doesn't matter what her coach thinks, and her coach isn't going to put her out there if she's not mentally ready - so if she competed it would year 3 of 36+ scores as a L7). Its about the marathon - and these things really do take time -

Hard to watch them struggle with all this growing up stuff, eh? (cuz at 12 its all about so much more than gymnastics!)

 

[kayjaybe]

Give it a bit longer. It's very common for kids with fear issues to have a tough time the first couple of times they go it alone. I am sure the coach will go back and forth a few times to give her ample time to get over it. We go through this every year with one kid or another. Last year we had 17 level 7 and about 5 sounded exactly like this. Takes time and the positive is "she went alone". Head up and believe.

Coachp - just wanted to thank you again for this perspective about the positive of "she went alone." This has beena HUGE help for me. She was supposed to have a private last night, but the coach got caught up with something, so she was working on her own. She asked me to video her. She came over, looked at her video, gave herself corrections, then went back to work on it again.

She is very visual and can't always feel how bent her body is.

She continued to work it on her own. She still is all bent up, but casting higher on her own and getting around better and better. And she was doing it all w/o a coach there spotting her, which I now realize is a huge step forward.

Thanks, again, for helping me see that.