Keeping My DD In Team Bonding And Fun Activities

[coachmolly]

Bog- I think you're being a little unfair to Muppets. Kermit certainly doesn't deserve to be grouped with jealous gym moms .
These are the kind of people that you really hope will grow up and go away after high school, unfortunately, there always seem to be at least a few who stick around. If your daughter has the skills and is mature enough to be on the team, she has the right to all of the perks. You know her better than anyone and you know what you can handle. The coaches obviously see you are not going to throw her into a situation she can't handle, it's just a shame not all the other parents can see that as well. You seem to be very conscious of the fact that your dd is younger and of her individual limitations due to her age. If they aren't bending a rule especially for your dd, then it shouldn't be a problem. End of story.
From a different perspective, I was typically one of the older, if not the oldest, girl in my training groups. Sometimes the other girls were only a year younger, sometimes 2, 3, or 6. Especially when I got to be 14/15. And having younger girls around isn't so bad. You grow to love and accept them for who they are and, typically, they are pretty darn mature for their age, especially if they are constantly in the gym around older kids.
I just feel bad for that woman's kid(s). Not only does it sound like she is verbally abusive, but she is also teaching her daughter some pretty rotten life lessons really early on about jealousy. I remember as a younger child I would see other kids picking up skills so much faster than me and my mom would just tell me like it was, that there were people more talented than I was. It didn't diminish my love for gymnastics at all, just encouraged me to work harder. And if the talented younger kid was a hard worker and a nice person, it wasn't so hard to be happy for them and their accomplishments. It was another story if they were a nasty little monster... But I'm talking about 8-12 year olds, I've yet to meet a 4 year old with that kind of attitude... And with you as her mom, at least from the posts I've read, I'm pretty convinced your dd does not fall anywhere near that category.
My advice would be to just follow what the coach says and stick with the like minded moms. I'm sure in due time your dd will prove to them that she can handle herself just fine at those team gatherings and they will forget all about it. Good luck!

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

Oh I just had to add to Coachmolly's post. My DD too, was always the oldest girl in her group. She just LOVED the little ones!!! They were always a welcome part of ANY team function. The little ones would always hold Katy's hand or want to sit in her lap, whatever. It is DEFINTELY the mother's problem and unfortunately she will be the one to drive that child crazy.

 

[ellabella]

Really who has time to be so petty? That's what I want to know. I have much bigger things to worry about and stress about.

I have to say my DD is young and with older kids and I haven't had any such experiences. We are at a small gym though that isn't so competitive so maybe all the crazies are across town at the intense gym.

 

[gym-mini]

ellabella...I agree! Who has time for such things? I enjoy watching and interacting with all the girls at our gym, regardless of their age and NEVER experience this kind of craziness---thankfully.

I just try to treat people the way I want to be treated, and teach my kids to do the same. My daughter isn't 4, but she is the youngest on her team, and has NEVER been treated this way. I hope there are some positive things about your experiences at this gym, otherwise, I would go elsewhere.

 

[gymdog]

I don't think it'll always be like this. There are always some notable exceptions but in general I think a lot of people will tell you compulsory parents are a lot worse. One of my friends who was my age and level in gymnastics had a little sister who was doing level 5 when we were about level 9 and her parents said they could barely stand to sit at the L5 meets with the parents there because they found everything people were thinking and saying so over the top. But everything is new for these people, it is kind of a weird sport, even for reasonable people there is some learning curve here. I know you yourself have some older daughters who were in gymnastics so you're going to have a perspective that is really different from people who this is their first kid in preteam. But in a few years a lot of the parents who stick around will probably come around and have more of the perspective you have about how the sport works, how progression starts and stops, injuries come in, kids decide to quit, etc. Everything seems like a life and death matter for some parents at the lower levels who think their kid is going to be cheated out of their gymnastics destiny by any one thing.

 

[Shelovesthebars]

There should be a sign above the door of the gymnastics gym that reads: "Buckle up, it may be a long and bumpy ride. There are a lot of twists and turns. Some of you may not make it to the end. If you are not naturally physically gifted and can't tough things out, please get off at the next bend. You must posses a strong stomach and no preexisting physical ailments. Those come with the ride.There are a lot of loops and twists that lead you right back to where you just were. Don't be alarmed. It is part of the ride. Severe drops and rises occur without warning. Keep your head. Above all, have fun and enjoy the ride. It usually is a short one.

 

[Bobby]

I may be taking too wild a guess, but it sounds like "that" mother has been telling her DD (and perhaps herself) that the only reason her DD was missing out was because of her age. I wonder if a coach may even have (directly or accidentally) given her that impression? for her to have gone to the extreme of wanting confirmation from a coach? ... Having her beliefs so thoroughly trashed may well be the reason for her drama.
Not that I have any sympathy for the way she spoke in front of your DD.