Parents Letting DD Go To Meet?

[GYM0M]

Good vibes and prayers for you.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

Because her safety is the most important thing I wouldn't let her compete anything she isn't doing safely at gym. I am sorry she is having such a hard time at the gym. I would have her sit down and have a heart to heart (maybe even with someone outside the situation) to see what she really wants, wether it be leaving the sport, taking time off or just going back to basics. At 10, they really want to please everyone around them and maybe she knows she would be letting you, her coach and her teammates down if she left the sport or took a step back. I truly hope this is not the case since it seems she is a very talented girl making it to Level 9 at 10 years old.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

Wow!!!! you asked about competing in a meet this weekend, and I've seen several responses suggesting she may be "done"...at 10 or 11...not sure about her age now. Regardless, what a sad story that would be. There have to be some other options. I think some of the comments bear some consideration. If your coach would consider putting her in a situation where she could get hurt, that would raise my red "mommy" flag quickly. You hear stories of super talented little ones who are rushed through levels early and then burn out just as they should be taking off. On the surface, that is what this sounds like. Hope it is not so.

I think deep down, you know what would be best concerning this weekend's meet. Ultimately, you are the one who gets to make the choice. (I don't envy you!) It stinks to think of paying for meet fees and coaches fees..and getting nothing, but try and take that out of the equation. Would your inclination change if you could get a refund?

 

[raenndrops]

Maybe let her go... but if she can't do the skills in warm ups - leave them out. As you said, she would have lower start values... but it's early in the season... there might be a few girls not starting out of a 10 AND, if she has nice execution of what she DOES do, she may be ok scorewise... Different level, but my OG didn't get credit on beam for her acro series OR her jump series... so SV was a 9.0 ... she scored an 8.1 (only 0.9 in deductions for the whole routine) ... she placed 2nd.

 

[GymMomK]

Again, after reading, It is easy to place blame, if only this or if only that etc... But when a kid starts moving backwards and losing skills (possibly vestibular) followed with not even attempting skills (totally mental). It really is the kids doing. Time to try another sport I say. You gave it time, you gave her the Mental toughness course, she is clearly not having anything to do with any of it. I happen to agree with the coach when she sends her to another event, instead of beating a dead horse, and "no" moving the board around has nothing to do with baulking. Sounds like the coach is just as annoyed as you are with the whole thing. Maybe I missed something, but I have not seen you address quitting at all as an option. Is this not on the table for you?

Honestly, I'm ready for her to quit. She wants to stick with. As a parent, though, I'm not sure how much longer, if any, I should give her.

 

[gymdog]

Honestly, the situation sounds unsafe if the coach lets her attempt all these things she continually balks on. Maybe plant the seeds for another sport.

 

[gracyomalley]

Just a thought, but on DD team there is a Level 8 8th grader who "quit" 2 years ago, after a few level 7 meets, and came in during the summers for fun work outs, then when she was ready, slowly worked back up and is competing again this January....she did lose some in progression, but several of the fears that led her to quit are now clearly conquered...and she still has 4 years for the last 2 levels if she wishes....she seems ever so much more happy and centered than 2 years ago. (my DD was only a 5 then, but I remember watching her on beam for ages, crying, etc...)

Your DD is young....and unhappy....time off doesn't mean that the years of work were wasted....and quitting doesn't mean (at 10) that gymnastics is over....maybe not the same path, but in any case, if she came back she'd be mentally stronger....just a thought

 

[raenndrops]

Just a thought, but on DD team there is a Level 8 8th grader who "quit" 2 years ago, after a few level 7 meets, and came in during the summers for fun work outs, then when she was ready, slowly worked back up and is competing again this January....she did lose some in progression, but several of the fears that led her to quit are now clearly conquered...and she still has 4 years for the last 2 levels if she wishes....she seems ever so much more happy and centered than 2 years ago. (my DD was only a 5 then, but I remember watching her on beam for ages, crying, etc...)

Your DD is young....and unhappy....time off doesn't mean that the years of work were wasted....and quitting doesn't mean (at 10) that gymnastics is over....maybe not the same path, but in any case, if she came back she'd be mentally stronger....just a thought

I had a similar experience with my older gymmie... had fears and blocks in Old L6 though ... lost her Beam BWO, her ROBHSBT, and her Flyaway all at about the same time (Feb-Mar 2012) ... dropped down to 1-2 days a week for a while, but that didn't help... In mid August, 2012, she QUIT - unexpectedly, the week after I paid her team fees for the year. However, in early November 2012, she told me that quitting was the biggest mistake she ever made. She came back, starting with 1 day a week and found out she could compete Xcel and work the skills back at her own pace. She competed a 1/2 season last year with the skills she did have. This season, she has her ROBHSBT in her floor routine (it has been there for competition even if it is missing in warm ups)... she has finished no worse than 3rd place AA in the first 3 meets.

 

[gymmomtoo]

I'm shocked her coach things it's a safe idea for her to compete with the issues in practice and her balking on skills! If he won't refuse it, then you should. Better to be disappointed she can't compete, than to have an injury--possibly a severe one. And if this gym is truly the only place she can go, then perhaps it really is time to find another sport--clearly she is not thriving where she's at and, just as clearly, the coach isn't capable of adjusting his coaching style to help girls through blocks (which happen all the time in gymnastics). I really don't think she should quit---but I also more strongly feel she shouldn't stay where she's at.

How did the meeting go with him?

 

[Deleted member D3987]

No no no. This is not even a matter of self esteem at this level, it's a matter of safety. She CANNOT compete these routines yet. I just don't see any way from what you describe. And "trying to do it" at the meet when she doesn't do it in practice can be a recipe for disaster. Ultimately at this level they need to practice consistent technique or there can be serious injuries. We're not talking about a level 4 with an iffy kip who might make it with some adrenaline. There's no hiding behind anything at this level, only technique.

I can't even imagine any coach competing any optional that won't do some of the things you described. It's just not right.

If the issues are this bad then I think this season is possibly not going to happen for her. She needs to go back to basic techniques and training such as heavy strap bar work and repetitions of kip/casts, beam basics and low beam, vault drills. Again there is only technique. If she doesn't have the technique she will suffer, possibly disastrously so. I would recommend that you don't take a chance. BTW if she was rushed through the levels by coaches that were dazzled by natural ability rather than consistent building of technique, this could be a reason why she is reverting.

this is the correct response. safety 1st!

p.s. the word is balk...not baulk.

 

[Bajanswife]

p.s. the word is balk...not baulk.

Unless you speak/write British English .........

 

[Faith]

Unless you speak/write British English .........

Which, obviously, is the correct way

 

[Bajanswife]

Which, obviously, is the correct way

What is it with Americans and the letter "u"?

 

[cbifoja]

I tease my british friends about their extra vowels. I always tell one of them that the British don't consider it a word unless it has a minimum of four vowels!

 

[GymMomK]

I appreciate all your input. After a long talk with the coach and gym owner we decided to let dd compete with the understanding that of she didn't feel comfortable, she would scratch.

She competed every event and ended with a 33.05. Probably her lowest AA. But we were all happy she tried and it really boosted her confidence.
Vault-fhs-8.3
Beam-did her bhs bhs series and then fell on something silly. 8.9
Bars-fell on squat on, first time ever. 2 clear hips-high 7.
Floor-decided she didn't want to back tumble, lady minute pass change. Coach on floor during one pass. Mid 8's.

Bars-no giants

 

[txgymfan]

I'm glad it worked out well for her.

 

[raenndrops]

I appreciate all your input. After a long talk with the coach and gym owner we decided to let dd compete with the understanding that of she didn't feel comfortable, she would scratch.

She competed every event and ended with a 33.05. Probably her lowest AA. But we were all happy she tried and it really boosted her confidence.
Vault-fhs-8.3
Beam-did her bhs bhs series and then fell on something silly. 8.9
Bars-fell on squat on, first time ever. 2 clear hips-high 7.
Floor-decided she didn't want to back tumble, lady minute pass change. Coach on floor during one pass. Mid 8's.

Bars-no giants

33+ with no giants and lacking other L8 skills... not a bad score at all She will get it back, it just might take time. Congrats on her scoring as well as she did and glad you all let her compete

 

[MaryA]

Way to go! My DD will also be starting out level 8 without giants. She had them but now they seem to have gone off somewhere. I think she will be very happy if she starts the year with a 33. Glad it all went well, that coaches spotted where needed, and that she is feeling better about things.

 

[htimcj]

I hope that this meet gave her some confidence! 33 is a good start for what she had especially.

 

[gymmomtoo]

That is an amazing score with what you said her skills were. Congrats to her!