Parents Making it work

[skschlag]

This is always the big unanswered question for me. How do these "kids" feel as adults, in hindsight?

IMO, if it is their choice to make, they are fine with it. Is it different? Sure, but it is what they want. And I would think they would look back on it with a sense of accomplishment.

 

[NY Dad]

IMO, if it is their choice to make, they are fine with it. Is it different?

Internal/External pressure

 

[skschlag]

Internal/External pressure

Yes, that would change it. You can't control internal pressure and if they have a tendency for that, they will put that on regardless. External you can control by giving them the choices they need to make sure they are doing it for them. After what we have been through the past 3 years with old gym, and having to change, and teh drama, I know this is all for him. He loves it. If he decides he loves something more, then we will look at that.

I think if this is their passion and what they want to do, then they won't have regrets....any more than any of us do about some of our high school decisions

 

[thefellowsmom]

As an adult who chose to give up pursuing her sport/passion because of many reason but boys and football games and clubs and friends were certainly a huge part of it, I can honestly say that the thing I regret most in life is that decision.

If I could go back and give up boyfriends and parties and school activities and clubs and cliques I would in a heartbeat. Things would be different now in how I look at myself and my confidence in my choice and the ability to know what I want and how to get it.

I agree that I think that the introvert extrovert thing comes into play ina big way.

I am in awe of my daughter every day. She has confidence and self esteem that I could only have dreamt of as a teenager. She knows exactly what she wants and what she is sacrificing. We check in with her a lot, hear her feelings and support her in her decisions. We have always said that if something is really important to her we would make it happen and encouraged her to really look and listen to what is going on with her friends and examine for herself what is important to her.

We are lucky she has a great school district who works with us and we have come up with a hybrid approach that is working better than I could ask for. She has a 4.0, gets to eat lunch with her friends most days and has enough time to do homework, have downtime and really have mental and physical energy for gym.

She also prioritizes her gym friends and is more active with them on chat and social media, but she has a couple great girls from school who really support her in what she does.

She is blessed and on her own path for sure. No holding this kid back.
I just can't imagine a world that as an adult she would regret it. Maybe I am delusional.LOL!

 

[Sasha]

If I could go back and give up boyfriends and parties and school activities and clubs and cliques I would in a heartbeat. Things would be different now in how I look at myself and my confidence in my choice and the ability to know what I want and how to get it.

I feel exactly the same. Not really any long-term positive effects in terms of my sense of self, or self accomplishment in life came from my 'normal' experience of boyfriends, school activities, and dances and such. I had some fun, some drama, and too much free time (and not even an iPHONE to fill all that free time!! How did I survive??? lolol).

 

[duyetanh]

This is always the big unanswered question for me. How do these "kids" feel as adults, in hindsight?

I trained almost as many hours a week as a full time job, from the time I was 11 to 21....I don't regret a minute of it. But I am sure some do....however this said, many of those who feel that way tend to feel that way while they are in it, and then they stop doing the sport...or stop doing it at such an intense level. None of my friends from my sport who I keep contact with regret it at all. I guess we are all freaks, lol...

 

[duyetanh]

IMO, if it is their choice to make, they are fine with it. Is it different? Sure, but it is what they want. And I would think they would look back on it with a sense of accomplishment.

Yep...this....most definitely.

 

[SPX]

I passed on a lot of the normal hs stuff not for sports but for science. I spent prom night in a telescope dome photographing Saturn's moons. Now I work for NASA. no regrets, at all, ever. I had more than enough social stuff in college when I was a bit better able to handle it. Maybe that is just me.

I will also second the idea that not having time to get into real trouble is a plus. Even more so, having a reason to choose to pass on things like drugs is incredibly helpful. "Nope, can't do that. I'll loose my internship" got me out of what would have been some awkward peer pressure situations even in college. Perspective is a wonderful thing.

 

[GymDad9.9]

I passed on a lot of the normal hs stuff not for sports but for science. I spent prom night in a telescope dome photographing Saturn's moons. Now I work for NASA. no regrets, at all, ever. I had more than enough social stuff in college when I was a bit better able to handle it. Maybe that is just me.

I will also second the idea that not having time to get into real trouble is a plus. Even more so, having a reason to choose to pass on things like drugs is incredibly helpful. "Nope, can't do that. I'll loose my internship" got me out of what would have been some awkward peer pressure situations even in college. Perspective is a wonderful thing.

In hindsight, I wish I had missed my prom. The first love agonies that followed that night was not worth it.