Parents Mental block/fear of jumping to high bar

[NP73]

My daughter fell off the bars during a squat on last April and dislocated and fractured her elbow. Despite this she moved up to excel gold and has gained new skills but is still unable to jump to high bar. Private lessons didn’t help. She says in her head the bar is farther away than it really is. She can hit it with her hands but can’t/wont grab it. She is having to scratch on bars with every meet currently. Her coach won’t let her compete until she can jump to high bar. I want to help but don’t know what else to do.

 

[NP73]

I have considered mental performance coaching but it’s expensive for 1:1. Has anyone used Perform Happy with Rebecca Smith?

 

[Coach Kate]

A couple things, mostly highlighted by the fact that it sounds like her coach is either unsupportive, unwilling, and or has given up.

First off, gold only requires a high bar dismount. I have seen athletes mount directly to the high bar and do their entire routine there. It's possible. Not common, but possible.

Secondly, there are a number of things that can be done. The bars can be brought closer together to make it more of a lean than a jump. We've done this for different reasons for different athletes. Mats can be stacked all the way under the bars and then one removed at a time until that confidence is built. I have had athletes jump down onto the mats, grab the high bar and just lift their legs to hang in quick succession just to get used to it. It can be spotted. Does she wear grips? I've even don toe tape grips for athletes who just needed to feel more comfortable.

When she had privates what did they look like? I have done privates for this and typically do the mat stack set up and spotting and every three catches we take a mat off the stack.

This is almost impossible to get over without the support of the coach.

 

[NP73]

A couple things, mostly highlighted by the fact that it sounds like her coach is either unsupportive, unwilling, and or has given up.

First off, gold only requires a high bar dismount. I have seen athletes mount directly to the high bar and do their entire routine there. It's possible. Not common, but possible.

Secondly, there are a number of things that can be done. The bars can be brought closer together to make it more of a lean than a jump. We've done this for different reasons for different athletes. Mats can be stacked all the way under the bars and then one removed at a time until that confidence is built. I have had athletes jump down onto the mats, grab the high bar and just lift their legs to hang in quick succession just to get used to it. It can be spotted. Does she wear grips? I've even don toe tape grips for athletes who just needed to feel more comfortable.

When she had privates what did they look like? I have done privates for this and typically do the mat stack set up and spotting and every three catches we take a mat off the stack.

This is almost impossible to get over without the support of the coach.

They have stacked mats and she has jumped from there and grabbed the bar. I’ll ask about moving the bars closer together. She actually has asked about that. Grips seemed to make things worse and she was peeling off the bar. She’s always done well so this is hard for her.

 

[NP73]

A couple things, mostly highlighted by the fact that it sounds like her coach is either unsupportive, unwilling, and or has given up.

First off, gold only requires a high bar dismount. I have seen athletes mount directly to the high bar and do their entire routine there. It's possible. Not common, but possible.

Secondly, there are a number of things that can be done. The bars can be brought closer together to make it more of a lean than a jump. We've done this for different reasons for different athletes. Mats can be stacked all the way under the bars and then one removed at a time until that confidence is built. I have had athletes jump down onto the mats, grab the high bar and just lift their legs to hang in quick succession just to get used to it. It can be spotted. Does she wear grips? I've even don toe tape grips for athletes who just needed to feel more comfortable.

When she had privates what did they look like? I have done privates for this and typically do the mat stack set up and spotting and every three catches we take a mat off the stack.

This is almost impossible to get over without the support of the coach.

Her routine is a glide kip on low bar, 2 back hip circles, squat on , jump to high bar, swing and turn facing the opposite way and release. Only one hand comes off the bar with that.

 

[raenndrops]

Her routine is a glide kip on low bar, 2 back hip circles, squat on , jump to high bar, swing and turn facing the opposite way and release. Only one hand comes off the bar with that.

There is a deduction for it, but we have had girls in Gold who put their hands on the high bar before leaving the low bar, so there is no jump or even a feeling of falling.
Most of the time, they jump to front support on the high bar, do a back hip circle, and do an underswing dismount, but we do have a couple that just swing and do the 1/2 turn tap dismount. The ones who do the high bar back hip circle don't have a good double back hip circle.

 

[Pricess_leia]

There is a deduction for it, but we have had girls in Gold who put their hands on the high bar before leaving the low bar, so there is no jump or even a feeling of falling.

I didn’t know that was a deduction, do you know how much? I am taller so I just lean to catch the bar, but I guess I should work on that

 

[ginnastix]

We brought the bars extra close for one athlete and then we let another just compete her whole routine on the high bar.

For working through the mental block, we brought the bars very close and then gradually separated them.

 

[AlexandraU16]

I don’t have a ton to offer except hugs and encouragement as my daughter has just mostly come through this exact fear after months of being terrified. She too had a bad fall (no injury, just scared), saw a teammate fall, and is young and small so the jump feels enormous. It spread to where she became terrified of her squat on too, knowing it was the moment before the dreaded jump.
The biggest thing that helped her was time and removing pressure. Not being told “if you don’t get over this you can’t compete bars” or being given a deadline to get through it etc was critical to her brain having the space to work through her fear. I also became very good at not mentioning it or asking about it and waiting for her to bring it up herself.
A few privates helped. They moved the bars much closer together, built up mats underneath, and even did a few sessions where the placed a large block under the low bar for her to jump from vs jumping from the rail. For a brief period of time her coach allowed her to climb up vs squat on to the low bar and kept a hand on her for stabilization.

I don’t think there was one thing that “fixed” it for her; I think it was a combination of time, patience, an understanding coach, and home being a safe place to not think about it. I had open communication with her coach about how my daughter was doing with it and we worked together to address her needs as well as my daughter started to learn to advocate for herself (“I need to climb up for the first rep today”, etc).

Best of luck! I am sure given time she will come through it.

 

[NP73]

A couple things, mostly highlighted by the fact that it sounds like her coach is either unsupportive, unwilling, and or has given up.

First off, gold only requires a high bar dismount. I have seen athletes mount directly to the high bar and do their entire routine there. It's possible. Not common, but possible.

Secondly, there are a number of things that can be done. The bars can be brought closer together to make it more of a lean than a jump. We've done this for different reasons for different athletes. Mats can be stacked all the way under the bars and then one removed at a time until that confidence is built. I have had athletes jump down onto the mats, grab the high bar and just lift their legs to hang in quick succession just to get used to it. It can be spotted. Does she wear grips? I've even don toe tape grips for athletes who just needed to feel more comfortable.

When she had privates what did they look like? I have done privates for this and typically do the mat stack set up and spotting and every three catches we take a mat off the stack.

This is almost impossible to get over without the support of

I don’t have a ton to offer except hugs and encouragement as my daughter has just mostly come through this exact fear after months of being terrified. She too had a bad fall (no injury, just scared), saw a teammate fall, and is young and small so the jump feels enormous. It spread to where she became terrified of her squat on too, knowing it was the moment before the dreaded jump.
The biggest thing that helped her was time and removing pressure. Not being told “if you don’t get over this you can’t compete bars” or being given a deadline to get through it etc was critical to her brain having the space to work through her fear. I also became very good at not mentioning it or asking about it and waiting for her to bring it up herself.
A few privates helped. They moved the bars much closer together, built up mats underneath, and even did a few sessions where the placed a large block under the low bar for her to jump from vs jumping from the rail. For a brief period of time her coach allowed her to climb up vs squat on to the low bar and kept a hand on her for stabilization.

I don’t think there was one thing that “fixed” it for her; I think it was a combination of time, patience, an understanding coach, and home being a safe place to not think about it. I had open communication with her coach about how my daughter was doing with it and we worked together to address her needs as well as my daughter started to learn to advocate for herself (“I need to climb up for the first rep today”, etc).

Best of luck! I am sure given time she will come through it.

Thank you. It’s been so long now it’s hard to be hopeful. It’s the middle of meet season so I know they’re busy. All of the meets will be over in about 4 weeks now. It’s so sad to see her get a 0 for bars and not go to state. I’m trying to find a coach who has some time to help. I also ordered a book called Overcoming Mental Blocks. Author is Melisa Torres. She has a whole series for girls this age. She’s a former gymnast. My daughter actually found it and wanted me to order

 

[Wolfturnsonflooronly]

Yes, our gym works closely with Perform Happy with Rebecca Smith on a team basis and I also know of specific girls who have worked on blocks and they have found it helpful. My daughter doesn't like it (because, ew, feelings, in her words), but at the end of the day I hear her using the tools she is learning from those sessions. Everyone's budget is different, but if it's something that could help, it's definitely an option!

 

[Milomom]

My daughter fell off the bars during a squat on last April and dislocated and fractured her elbow. Despite this she moved up to excel gold and has gained new skills but is still unable to jump to high bar. Private lessons didn’t help. She says in her head the bar is farther away than it really is. She can hit it with her hands but can’t/wont grab it. She is having to scratch on bars with every meet currently. Her coach won’t let her compete until she can jump to high bar. I want to help but don’t know what else to do.

My daughter had a block about jumping to the high bar when she moved from level 3 to 4 after a fall (but no injury). We all had to back off a lot - I did not talk about the block at all. I did not ask about it after practice. Her coach just let her do what she felt comfortable doing. With the pressure off, she got past it within a few months. The next year, she developed a block with the flyaway. It was to the point where she was crying after practice daily. We ended up doing the perform happy program for a few months and it helped tremendously. Her whole attitude around meets has changed. She just won bars last weekend in level 6!

 

[NP73]

My daughter had a block about jumping to the high bar when she moved from level 3 to 4 after a fall (but no injury). We all had to back off a lot - I did not talk about the block at all. I did not ask about it after practice. Her coach just let her do what she felt comfortable doing. With the pressure off, she got past it within a few months. The next year, she developed a block with the flyaway. It was to the point where she was crying after practice daily. We ended up doing the perform happy program for a few months and it helped tremendously. Her whole attitude around meets has changed. She just won bars last weekend in level 6!

Did you do the program with one on one focus? I know it’s expensive, like $350 per month

 

[Milomom]

Did you do the program with one on one focus? I know it’s expensive, like $350 per month

We did 1 month of the 1:1 and then another 2 months of the regular membership. The therapist she was working with went on maternity leave at the end of her first month and my daughter didn't want to switch to a different therapist, so we had switched to the regular membership and she just worked through the programs on there - and I watched the parent videos. By the time her therapist was back from leave, she had gotten through the block, so we opted to cancel for now - but I wouldn't hesitate to sign up again if she needs it in the future.

 

[raenndrops]

I didn’t know that was a deduction, do you know how much? I am taller so I just lean to catch the bar, but I guess I should work on that

Leaning to catch the bar is not as much of a deduction as staying on the low bar intentionally until your hands are solidly on the high bar so you can jump to front support (which is a 0.50 deduction - like a spot). Leaning, grabbing, and getting off the low bar can be up to 0.30.

 

[CoachPow]

Our tried-and-true method (this is a fairly common mental block) is to take a kid to the bars, have them grab the high bar, and swing them back to see how close their toes get to the low bar (maybe even take a picture of the space.) Most kids can stretch and basically "fall" to the high bar with very little jump. The jump is what makes it scary to grab and hold on. Reaching and grabbing feels safer than jumping and grabbing. If necessary, put a mat stack underneath, and help them reach the first couple of times. This tends to ease the issue for most kids

 

[trackandfield6]

I agree with everything that has already been said. I'm a fan of actually teaching kids to be, firstly, comfortable with standing on the low bar. Some are not and therefore they squat on quickly and launch themselves, creating a possibility of what you describe happening to your daughter. I also believe that pulling the bars in a bit, is a good idea. Many coaches do not want to do this because of lack of time setting bars, especially at meets, and sadly sometimes ego, ie "my way or the highway" mentality. Sometimes coaches feel they are babying the gymnast by moving the bars in, whatever a coaches decision, some kids have every reason to be wary on the 'jump.' Your daughter, having fallen on that very skill, has a legitimate reason to be concerned. It's no sin to have the bars moved in a bit so she can just lean to the high bar as some coaches have already said. It may take some time and patience though!

 

[Melilot]

It seemed impossible, but after two full years of a mental block on catching the high bar, in the last few weeks my daughter had a breakthrough and she's catching it every time. If I hadn’t taken the video myself at practice, I would’ve thought it was AI. In her case, it seems counter to everything I've read and came at a time when I've been trying to get my head around how to help her emotionally as this was probably her last season.

Our coaches have been incredibly supportive and keep the culture healthy and low-pressure. There's so much camaraderie and fun at the heart of it all. But after repeating two levels and watching to cohorts of peers move ahead, she’s at a crossroads. After two seasons with no progress on bars, we're all thinking another repeat would hurt her mental health.

Driving back from her first meet of the year, we had a heart to heart. She was bummed that she was the only one with a low-bar-only routine, which is the same as the level below plus the inclusion of a kip. She brought up that she can’t stay on team without the high bar but she still loves gymnastics and competing and wants to continue. I stressed that it's ok and her value isn’t tied to a level or a skill and whatever happens just have fun/enjoy this season/soak it all in/we'll figure it out. Trust me when I say that removing pressure has been our approach for a very long time. But at this point, I also didn't want to gaslight her and maybe my role now is to help her start accepting the possibility so she won’t be blindsided or heartbroken. She was very adamant that she still wanted to try and not give up. Since it isn't a foregone conclusion and she still has until June to work on this, as her mom I felt I should throw whatever I can at this to support her. We really don't have anything to lose, so worst case we'd have closure and know we've done everything.

I’ve always seen this as her sport and have been very hands-off. But she’s a sweet kid who’s afraid to interrupt, seem needy, or rock the boat, so it can see how it could come across as a lack of interest. I asked for my first-ever 1:1 meeting with the coaches to share what she’d told me and run some ideas by them. I got the feeling they were surprised to hear how much she cares and still wants this and they were really happy to hear it. They agreed that it's 100% mental and not ability. On her low bar only routine, she still scored over a 9, which says a lot about her form and in summer she was doing flyaways into the pit if lifted to the bar, which made the block feel so specific and perplexing. I've watched them try so many different things and nothing has stuck. I made sure to acknowledge that right off the bat, and made sure they knew my intent was not to complain or criticize. I do think coming from the perspective that we're all wanting the best for her helped us to brainstorm enthusiastically as partners. Here's what we came up with, and combined, I think it really helped her.

1. Sports psychologist: One thing we’d never explored was a sports psychologist. I looked into the usual online programs mentioned on here, but given the time crunch and how long she's had the block, I felt 1:1 counseling with a sports psychologist would be most impactful and support her mental health generally no matter what. Funny enough, she began catching the bar the day before their first meeting, so can't totally attribute her progress to him. But I can't overstate how wonderful it's been for her to receive emotional support from someone who speaks the language of gymnastics. He normalizes mental blocks, provides specific tools, helps her feel validated, reframes situations in the gym (and out) and is helping her find her voice so she feels empowered.

2. Coach partnership: In our meeting, they asked me to get as much specific information about what's happening at the moment she freezes and find out what drills or spotting have helped her in the past so they can replicate it. They also said she can separate out the squat on for now if that helps. Their typical drill circuit always includes a block with a bar over the pit, a set of bars with the competition settings and another that they adjust for different drills. My daughter requested an older drill that I haven't seen anywhere else, so it's possible her coach came up with it with the theory she's afraid of peeling off the bar. This has by far been the most helpful throughout. It's hard to explain so I'll try to attach a picture, but it's basically a pillow mat supported by lots of blocks behind the bars so it's diagonal going from under the low bar to behind the high bar. They hadn't done it for a long time because no one else really needs it, so I teared up watching them set that up for her in the very next practice after our meeting. To make sure she wasn't singled out, they had the other girls use it to drill the hollow body form. That practice I think she caught it 2-3 times at most. But she felt the love and knew the coaches set that up because she asked. The next practice began with the same setup and all of a sudden she was catching it over and over. Her coach and I shared a look like, "What is happening?!?" In the course of the rotation, the pillow mat kept slipping down and eventually they tried it flat to the floor and she began catching it and kipping up. In the last few weeks she's been adding on other elements of the routine, including the sole circle dismount from high bar. All that's left is her squat on, so now she's working hard to get that consistently.

3. Watching her practices: We usually drop off and pick up but she asked if I could watch her practices. I asked if she feels pressure with me there, and she said no, she just feels really supported. Their gym is amazing about family involvement and they built a comfy area for spectators so figure that's one small thing I can do if it means a lot to her.

These years of watching her struggle have been so heartbreaking but if our kid can overcome this mental block and make up for 2 years of progress in 2 weeks, you never know. I know this is long, but wanted to share another perspective because applying pressure can be nuanced. In our case, denying the reality of the time limit and having so much unsaid just made it worse. Being on the level with her was really important to reestablish trust, and from that place she was able to find her footing. I asked her what changed and she said it's knowing that we all support her. I would finish that sentence by adding "even though it's all out in the open." Maybe this is specific to my kid, but she knows exactly what I've said to the coaches and how they're responding. My theory is that having all of this transparency relieves her from all the shame that she's been carrying alone. Her brain is freed up and so she can now absorb the training because we're all on the same page and she can trust everyone to treat her with care.

She has been lighting up in a way she hasn't in a long time. I hope this is encouraging in some way, and maybe this drill might be worth a shot for the girls who have fears of falling/peeling off. I don't want to jinx anything because she still has to maintain what she's just recently gained. But the other night she told me bars are now her favorite event and really fun(!?!). This weekend I think she might even do the routine in competition.