WAG Missing Practice - Coaches and Parents Input Please

[Aussie_coach]

Is there a way to do both. It sounds like you aren't 100% comfortable with either desicion, so is it possible that she goi g to say the first half of practice and gets to the school event a little late?

 

[emorymom]

I think your doubts about whether she will want to skip Friday practice regularly are probably valid. I might let her go since it is the last one IF you can work out privates to make it up. But then she will know that missing practice costs money.

 

[auswi]

Let me start by saying we are pretty adamant about going to practice. DD has only missed for the one week summer vacation and the rare times she is sick. She has missed A LOT of birthday parties, sleepovers and family gatherings (including Christmas dinner when my Aunt had it one week early last year) for gymnastics and she very rarely complains about it.

We made an exception on practice this week (she goes 4 days) so she could attend a party. It really didn’t sit right with me but I talked to the coach beforehand and the coach was really good about it. Now DD has asked to miss another practice next week to attend a HUGE annual Fall event at her school. She asked dad while I was not around and he told her no right off the bat. He is the strict one when it comes to gym and working hard. He told me about it later and he said she was a little upset and reminded him it was her last year of elementary school and her last chance to attend this event with her friends.

Her first meet is in early December and DD says she is struggling with a lot of the L5 skills and feeling behind most kids on her team. The coach has told me this is not true but I watched the tail end of a few practices and I know DD is having trouble with her BWO and blocking on Vault. I have not really seen the other events. That being said DD is usually slower to get things in the beginning of the season but ends up doing really well by the last few meets and States.

I am playing devils advocate in my head as follows:

Is one more practice really going to kill her?

DD is not going to the Olympics.

What if the missed practice would be the one where things just click on Beam?

A lot of kids on her team miss one practice a week….What other kids do have not bearing on our family.

It’s crunch time.

It looks like practice is on Friday for the next 4 levels, am I setting a precedent if we miss a Friday whenever something social comes up?

What if she quits next year and I made her miss this for nothing?

Is this fair to the coach who is working so hard to get the girls ready?

Is it fair to my daughter?

She is 10 and should be able to figure out what is more important to her and it’s just one night.

As you can see I am making this harder than it needs to be. I could probably just text the coach about it and ask them if they think the night would make a difference but who wants to be put in that situation?

Anyway, I surely can’t be the only parent that has felt this way before and I am sure you coaches have had some experiences with this type of stuff.

Let me know your thoughts please.

Shes only a kid☺

She will burnout /get sick of gym way faster if forced to miss every importent / normalising event of her childhood.....& I say this from the perspective of parenting an IL9 ( Aussie elite track) gymmie whose HC encourages the girls to attend these ' normalising ' childhood events.

The girls do not take advantage of it but all miss usually 3 trainings a term. Rather than making them slacker they seem to be envigourated the next session.

 

[Sari]

Let her go to the school event.

I can understand feeling uncomfortable because she just recently missed a practice but I'm sure her coaches will be very understanding. And as you said, she only gets this one last year of elementary school. Life is only going to get more complicated from there. All the more reason to let her be a kid now.

 

[munchkin3]

Our head coach always says, let them go and have a life.........or else they will realize they can't have a life while doing gymnastics........
Plus it's the season.....all the parties, and events, and Holiday stuff.......I'm exhausted already.

 

[AgingHippie]

Thank you so much everyone. I am going to let her go based on your feedback. She doesn't even know I know she wants to go so she is going to be super excited. I really appreciate it.

 

[sce]

It's great you are letting her go.

I think I would think through how to handle things like parties in the future though. Those are situations where she might leave practice early, or goes to the party late, or both.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Our head coach always says, let them go and have a life.........or else they will realize they can't have a life while doing gymnastics........
Plus it's the season.....all the parties, and events, and Holiday stuff.......I'm exhausted already.

WELL SAID!!!

 

[AgingHippie]

WELL SAID!!!

I hope our coach feels the same way. Dad is pretty upset with me right now.

 

[raenndrops]

Our head coach always says, let them go and have a life.........or else they will realize they can't have a life while doing gymnastics........
Plus it's the season.....all the parties, and events, and Holiday stuff.......I'm exhausted already.

Because we are already so limited on hours, i give the girls one free pass during meet season - starting September when they sign their team contract and ending after District Championships. Required school events and illness do not count against the free pass.
Of course, we only go to gym two days a week (supposed to go 3 days), so they already get one day a week off. If they have a school function, they are supposed to go the other day that we normally miss. They can save the free pass by making it up on the other day too... but they dont usually think of that, lol.

 

[UnoMas]

Good choice. Letting her go is the right choice. First and foremost our children are children...and I never want gym to feel like a job to them. Plenty of time for jobs and other things later...

 

[my4buffaloes]

I think as long as you talk with her about not making this a regular occurrence then skipping will be fine.

 

[bookworm]

She's level 5 and 10 years old...not training for the Olympics....so of course she should go...and dad can be as upset as he wants, but I'd still let her go.....think how mad he'd be if she quits from being burnt out....

My level 10 daughters always went to father daughter dances every year and the Prom...didn't want them to resent not being able to do some normal things...

 

[needcoffee]

I try to find a balance with these things. Saying no all the time because of practice is a really good way to resent gymnastics. I've said it before, life comes first. That doesn't mean regularly skipping Friday or weekend practice though, because she's made a commitment to her team and coach and I've paid the money.

I've let DD skip practice for the occasional party, royal show, family or school events etc. and on occasion, when she's come out of school just plain exhausted. As long as she does her best to honour her commitment, I'm all good. She's only 10, not an adult and sometimes we need to remember that kids need to have fun too.

 

[duyetanh]

Just playing extremely devils advocate... (and obviously it isn't something I wish for your child, but...)...any chance she could do another year of level 4, gain confidence, hit the podium, and not feel so stressed?
Again, not meant to be snarky...I know she has been struggling from what you said earlier...is she having all the skills, just not consistently? This age is a very hard age to manipulate. I definitely think a little freedom goes along way, and tightening the reins in this situation will only lead to resentment. Good luck.

 

[emilykatherine]

One practice missed won't make a difference. Let her go have fun.

 

[AgingHippie]

Just playing extremely devils advocate... (and obviously it isn't something I wish for your child, but...)...any chance she could do another year of level 4, gain confidence, hit the podium, and not feel so stressed?
Again, not meant to be snarky...I know she has been struggling from what you said earlier...is she having all the skills, just not consistently? This age is a very hard age to manipulate. I definitely think a little freedom goes along way, and tightening the reins in this situation will only lead to resentment. Good luck.

I kind of wish she was doing 4 again. Our gym has a strict 36 rule and she worked really hard to get there in L4 and placed pretty well at States so I felt I couldn't ask. Her coach keeps saying she is right where she should be. Sometimes I'm not so sure she is struggling as much as she thinks she is. I don't think you are being snarky at all. It's gone through my mind.

 

[AgingHippie]

Forgot to answer, yes she has them all just not consistently. Bars seem to be where she is excelling the most.

 

[duyetanh]

Forgot to answer, yes she has them all just not consistently. Bars seem to be where she is excelling the most.

Ok, can I just say if BARS are the best, than I feel she will be FINE. Bars seem to be the last thing to come in for many, many gymnasts, and even if it isn't last, for all the gymnasts we know it has never been FIRST. That is awesome!! Perhaps she is comparing herself to others...but irregardless, let her go have fun.

 

[lovegymnastics22]

Just to add to this, let her go. I made a big mistake enforcing a no-miss practice rule when DD was having a rough time with gym and it definitely made things worse. Without going into a long saga, I have learned that if gym is not something that is fun and that they *want* to do, it can spiral downward pretty quickly.