Parents More Focused Once In School?

[Malenkaya]

Hello all! I haven't posted much but you were all so helpful the last time I had a question and I still come here and lurk and read what others have to say.

My daughter will be 5 in May. She started gymnastics in September. She is still in the preschool rec class, very close to being moved up to the next class, according to one of the coaches. She still loves being in the gym, she much prefers it over the dance class I have her enrolled in. She's in gymnastics twice a week and dance class once a week. Dance will end in June after their big recital and I don't plan on enrolling her in another dance class, at least for now.

The last time I posted with a question I was talking about having a timid gymnast (the thread is here: http://www.chalkbucket.com/forums/parent-forum/38982-timid-gymnast.html). Well, that seems to have gone away. My timid little girl has come out of her shell and turned into kind of a wandering child. It's like she lacks focus. My hope is that it's a phase.

For example, she knows she is supposed to go from one thing to do the next when they put out the little obstacle courses they do. In the last few months she seems to need more attention from the coaches. Not in actually doing what she's supposed to do, but she goes from an obstacle to the teacher, who points her towards the next obstacle. And she knows where she supposed to go and what she's supposed to do, but it's like she needs reassurance from the coach now every step of the way.

I talked to the coach about it once who called her "my little assistant" and says she knows everything she's supposed to do and tells the other kids what they are going to do next.

She has never been in an academic classroom before. In dance they are expected to sit still in their place until it's their turn. And she does pretty well with that. In gymnastics of course they have more freedom and can run around. So I guess I'm kind of wondering what changes you saw in your little ones after they actually started school. Her coaches don't seem to have any issues with this behavior, but I watch her bouncing around and using up more of the coach's time than the other kids are taking up. I still have no idea if/when they start pulling kids out for preteam and stuff like that so I sometimes worry that something not having to do with ability might keep her from being asked to take this to the next level.

 

[gwenmom]

Sounds like she may be a little bored. My DD did TERRIBLE in the makeup class she did last week that was a lower level all because she was bored. Back to regular class and she is backing being focuses and having fun again.

 

[sglemon]

I Never saw a sudden and dramatic change, Once they entered school. School is a lot like gymnastics and dance in that respect, kindergarten is less structure, then say, 1 st grade. It is a slow and gradual change as kids get older and mature, both in the classroom and the gym. Also you will see a young child who listens well in gymnastics, also will listen well in school, and visa versa. It depends on the child's personality.

 

[Malenkaya]

I guess bored is possible, even though they do mix it up a bit. They don't do the same thing each time. It just seems interesting to me that she can sit perfectly still in dance and wait her turn but she bounces around that way in the gym. It seems she really likes the extra attention from the coaches. I worry she comes across needy sometimes.

 

[Amusibus]

Maybe it has to do with the expectations of the dance teacher versus the gym teacher. If the dance teacher requires they sit quietly and is more stern with them, versus the gym teacher who allows more leeway to run around and be hyper and is less stern, she may just perceieve that gym is a more relaxed environment with less expectation for "proper " behavior. I have a daughter who always sinks to the lowest commen denominator- if other kids are being casual and fooling around, she will too. If she is in a different class with a stricter teacher and more well- behaved kids, she too will pay attention more and behave better. Some kids are really tuned in to the expectations put on them, more so that their intrinsic motivation to pay attention and be good just for its own sake.

 

[iwannacoach]

My first impression is she's trying to get everything "just right", and seeks out the coach to assure herself she's heading the right direction.......just a guess.

Or.....She loses track of what she's doing because she's "in the Zone" more than zoned out. There is a reason for distraction...it's the presence of abundant focus on something else, like what she's doing right now.

As far a school causing a kid to be more focused as a learner. I'm thinking developmental changes, that normally take place as kids advance to school age, are more likely the reason we see school age kids focus better in a learning environment.

 

[gymmommy123]

My dd is definitely the type that will do what the coach expects. When she was with coaches that expected her to behave, wait her turn, work on her skills, etc., she did! The coaches that were younger, or not very strict, and she was the type to take a mile when given an inch. She's with a very structured coach now, with a very focused teammate, and doing great in that setting.

 

[Malenkaya]

That makes perfect sense. They are very strict and orderly in dance class and she gets that and has seen how the teacher disciplines kids that get out of line. There is none of that at the gym. She is very smart and instinctive (gets both from her father) so I can see that she knows what she can and can't get away with in both situations.

 

[EastCoastGymMom]

I think a lot of girls start to mature and listen better around first grade - closer to 7 years old. As pp said, many kids will only be as well behaved as their coach expects. It doesn't sound like your daughter is out of control or not doing what she's supposed to. Maybe she likes the extra attention from the coach. I'm sure the coach would try to change her behavior if it was a problem. I wouldn't worry too much about it now, and as time goes on see if you can get her into a class that is a little more structured.

That said, I have seen several good little gymnasts not move up to team because they weren't able to focus or pay attention to the coach's instructions. Most of those girls ended up in Prep-Opt, tumbling, or rec classes. It's truly not something you need to worry about right now though!

 

[nameless]

i saw a huge increase in my dd's focus as she went from age 4 to 5.. she'd been in daycare and preschool, so idt that kindergarten changed anything.. i just think that attention span comes with age. i've seen a lot of improvement, but she still can't be still if she's in the gym.. if she's in line for bars she'll do handstands, she does forward rolls or splits after her dismounts on bars, any time she falls off the beam she has to squeeze in a leap or cartwheel, it's just who she is.. even in line for vault she is so focused watching the big girls that even when the coach calls her name she doesn't hear.. this does not happen in ballet. ballet just doesn't excite her.

 

[Malenkaya]

That said, I have seen several good little gymnasts not move up to team because they weren't able to focus or pay attention to the coach's instructions. Most of those girls ended up in Prep-Opt, tumbling, or rec classes. It's truly not something you need to worry about right now though!

That's what I'm concerned about the most. She has come out of her shell almost too well in the gym. She does great with following directions and staying focused in her dance class, because she knows that's basically what's expected of her. When I think about it, it's like when she's at home with me. She knows it takes me longer to react to something she shouldn't be doing (unless it involves possibly hurting herself) than it will if her father catches her doing something. So she's naturally better behaved with him. I just want them to know that when it matters she can and will pay attention.

Again, not that her coaches have expressed any problems with her, and her main coach tells me not to worry, that she's "exactly where she should be."