My Daughter is afraid....

[kikimom]

Any suggestions on how to overcome fear! My daughter is moving up to level 6 and she is now afraid to flip! She can't do the fly-away on bars - she has never really tried to flip, even into the pit. She says she is afraid and doesn't know how. And now she can't do her round-off flip-flop back tuck, because she is afraid. Thoughts?

 

[mygymnastrocks]

I would talk to her coaches and let them know. I'm sure they are used to working with girls that get scared doing new moves. What are fly aways? My daughter is only going to level 5 .

 

[kikimom]

The coaches know she is afraid and they think she has to work thru it, but they don't seem to be doing much to encourage her to get over her fear. She doesn't seem to be making much progress. Beginning to feel like we have reached a dead end. The fly away is the level 6 dismount - like the tap swings for level 5 dismount, but when you release you flip over.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

How old is your DD? My understanding is that a lot of fear issues kick on around 12. See if they can have her go back to basics on the skills she is afraid of. Lots and lots of repititions of the basics, building back up to the skill.

We have a girl at DD gym who is about to start her 3rd year at L5 because she will not do her flyaway. I know it is frustrating for everyone. All of the team girls really try to encourage her, she just won't let go.

Good Luck

 

[MdGymMom01]

Fear is a part of gymnastics. And this is something that your dd will have to work through. My dd has serious fear issues with any back tumbling but she is slowly working though it. Talk to your dd and let her know that it is ok to be afraid and to take it one day at a time. Teach her to acknowledge the "little steps" in progression and to be proud of those, no matter how small. Having the coaches work WITH her is very important as well. If she feels like she isn't getting support from them then that will only hinder her progress. I would try and talk to the coaches again and see what "their plan" is for getting her through the fear issues. Some kids have no fear and are very daring and will try anything and other kids can be hesitant and a bit more cautious. But, sometimes the more cautious gymnasts are the ones who are more technical and perfectionistic which make for some beautiful gymnastics IMO.

Good luck and just be patient and let dd know that many many gymnasts go through fear issues and GET THROUGH THEM.

(((hugs)))

 

[kikimom]

My daughter is nine, will be ten in a couple of months. She wants someone to tell her how to overcome her fear?

 

[MdGymMom01]

My daughter is nine, will be ten in a couple of months. She wants someone to tell her how to overcome her fear?

Ahhh, bless her heart!!! If it was only that easy. My daughter is 10 (will be 11 in Jan) and started gymnastics last year at the age of 9. She did cheerleading for 3 years before making the switch and developed a fear of the back handspring. It has been about 2 years now that she has had this fear and she is slowly gaining the confidence to do this skill by herself. It is definitley baby steps for her...she has to do a LOT of progressions--BHSs into the pit and then on a mat and once in a while she will throw it by herself on floor. But the most important thing to remember is that SHE has to feel that she can do it. Nobody can "make her" do it and sometimes all the encouragement in the world isn't enough until SHE says to herself "I can do this" or "I am going to try this skill today". What helps get to this point is reassurance, patience, positive words of encouragement, no pressure, and time. What also helps is emphasizing her other strengths and building that confidence back up by successes in the gym. It doesn't even have to be on the flyaway--just any skill--she needs to know that she can do it and do it well. So if she is awesome on beam or vault--praise her for that and also praise her for her perservearance, dedication and hard work. Eventually, that confidence in the other areas of gym will carry over into her "flipping" skills.

Believe me, I know how frustrating this can be but once you back off the pressure a bit she will settle in and work it out. It may take some time, but she will get through it.

 

[aerialriver]

Different people over come fears in different ways. I like to watch videos of people doing the skill on youtube and see the correct way and how easy it looks When I am about to do it I tell myself you can do this you have done it before and I imagine myself sticking it with no problems. Deep breathing right before doing the skill also helps. Good luck!

Aerialriver

 

[hunde2]

My daughter was afraid of the giant flyaway on bars and almost quit.She was also afraid of back tumbling after she had mastered the skill already.i think somehow the two were connected.All that 2-3 weeks before the first meet.Only her back tumbling was effected.
The coaches were very patient with her and took her back to the basics.
She actually got it back for her first meet.
They only way though she would do her bhs layout would be from a power hurdle.
Eventually she started running into her tumbling pass again.
By state ( or sooner ) she was running into her back tumbling pass again and actually placed 2 nd on her floor routine.
I think ofer comming fears depends on the child.
My daughter was 9 years old at the time and since then has overcome some other fears too.

 

[kristilyn73]

Ohhh.. what a tough situation. Most of us "Chalk Bucketers" have been through this.

My DD is 13 (almost 14) Training Level 9. She has been through this three times. The first time was when she was 11 almost 12.. She had a complete mental block on her BHS on beam. She had been doing them for 2 years and right before competition season lost it. Then last year right before her State competition she lost her flyaway on bars. Then after Regionals she completely lost her Giants...

We have been there... And I send you a gigantic cyber ((Hug))....

All kids are different but here is some things that helped my DD. First: Progressions. Going back to basics on how she learned the skill in the first place.

Second: talking to the coach - maybe they just need to spot her a few times.

Third: Putting a limit on how many times she can try in a day. For my DD, she would want to try for hours and hours.. but it would make her more and more and more frustrated.

She has sucessfully defeated each fear. For her BHS, it tooks months, she got frustrated about getting terrible scores at meets and finally just 'went for it" one day.. that was all it took. The Flyaway - she just needed a coach spot a couple times.. then she knew it wasn't scary any more. And Finally with the giants, it was taking it in baby steps and going back to progressions and the basics.

Good luck and keep us informed!

 

[Saturate15]

She is the only one that cang et over it. Her coaches will know how to do the progressions for those skills (tap swings to back into the pit or a mat, RHBS set). Her confidence just needs to be built up for those skills. Once she does them once she will love them and they'll be easy to her.

 

[cher062]

Fear is part of the sport there is just no way around it. I think every parent has this issue regardless of age or skill of DD. We want them to get over it quickly but they will get over the fear in their own time. I think its harder for us parents to watch it than it is for our girls to get over it. I found just letting the coaches know and handle it in class is the best route. I try not to dwell on the fear when talking gymnastics with DD.

My DD landed on her shoulders,neck and head a few weeks back doing some type of back flip thing and had the wind knocked out of her really badly. She was sore for about 2 week and now she is a bit afraid of doing the move (a move she has been doing well for awhile now)The coach is working with her slowly but she is now trying the move alone and they are working on doing the combination

 

[Ingwe]

She has sucessfully defeated each fear. For her BHS, it tooks months, she got frustrated about getting terrible scores at meets and finally just 'went for it" one day.. that was all it took. The Flyaway - she just needed a coach spot a couple times.. then she knew it wasn't scary any more. And Finally with the giants, it was taking it in baby steps and going back to progressions and the basics.


Thanks for posting this. My dd lost her BHS on high beam as well. She's had it for over a year now and all of a sudden, BAM, she will only do them with a sting mat over the beam. Her and her coach are locked in some sort of power stuggle over this as well. Her coach refuses to spot her becasue she says she is capable of doing them and if she spots her she will just relying on that. (UGH) DD says if she could just get a light spot one or two times then she would be fine. I swear, neither one of them is willing to give in. I am trying VERY hard to stay out of it but it's starting to really irritate me. Do any of your Gyms have the "no spot" policy once a gymnast gets a skill??
So, she has until 8/20 to get it back. If she doesn't then she will have to suffer the consequences which apparently is 18 Frog Jump passes and 18 rope climbs to be done everyday until she does the skill.

Tracy

Tracy

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

Our gym pretty much won't spot once they have it, though I have seen it done occasionally : )

 

[MdGymMom01]

So sorry your dd is going through this! Has your dd's coach tried lowering the pit bar a bit? Sometimes if the height is lower it makes it easier to let go and flip. Also, has she been doing tap swings and then "falling into the pit" first? Several girls on my dd's team are having issues with their fly-aways right now and the coach is breaking down the skill, complete with landing in the pit without flipping.

This approach seems to help my dd as well. She still needs someone "to stand there" just in case. So when we were at an open gym last weekend, they had a bar pit where she would gradually work her way up to the skill. She would swing and then let go and fall on her back and once she felt comfortable, she worked her way up to the flip. It seems like the "progressions and baby steps" is what works with my dd the best. Plus, since she is a perfectionist, she has to be totally confident with each part of the skill.

 

[gymjourneymom]

I feel for you & your DD soooo much!!! I personally have CB littered with "my DD has fear issues" threads, LOL! I was looking for help for her, when I 1st stumbled upon CB. Everyone here has always been helpful & supportive. They have saved my sanity! I got lots of good advice(like you have here), but if you want you can do a search on old "fear issue" threads. As for your DD, I agree with "baby steps" approach. Plus a helpful, supportive coach has done wonders for my DD. Enforcing time deadlines, using punishiment when they don't get a skill, refusing to spot...all the wrong coaching techniques, from our experience. A helpful supportive coach, willing to go back to the beginning & take baby steps & NOT get frustrated with DD. Has been the key for my DD. I paid for privates, as not to take time away from her teammates, during her "issue" times. That way she could get one on one time(with the helpful coach) without feeling stessed. Stress is the demon here, fear=stress=fear, it's a vicious cycle. She needs to build her confidence & have an "I CAN DO IT!" attitude. And it has to come from her, no one can give her that self confidence(being supportive & encouraging & patient helps...but she needs to OWN that feeling). Once she has that...she'll get the skill. Good luck! I know how hard it is to feel helpless while your child is so stressed. (((((Hugs))))) to you both! Feel free to PM me.

 

[Flippers Mom]

My dd went through this last year. She was 9, working level 7 and completely lost her back tumbling. Her coaches had been through it before and were great about going back to basics, concentrating on focusing on the technical elements (giving her mind something to concentrate on instead of fear) and spotting her - very hands on. She eventually told them she only needed a one hand spot, then a finger, then they could take one step back. Eventually they were standing at the edge of the mat, then gone. Later dd was able to tell us she was afraid of the power she was producing. Her coaches said that fear is contagious, usually rubs off on teammates. Funny though, while she couldn't tumble backwards on floor, she never lost her bank handspring on beam. As parents, we tried not to focus on it and just support her. She was frustrated enough for everybody. She also watched our DVDs of gymnastics in the Olympics and tried to visualize herself doing that. It just takes lots of patience! Good luck!

 

[gymnast16]

its a fear in her head, she neads to believe that she can do it, girls of my team, had this problem adding a backhandspring to the roundoff, the more u practice it the better, and confident she becomes.

 

[Dallas Gym Mom]

Feel your pain

At 12 my daughter had the exact same problems. Think it was the fear thing but so frustrating for her. The answer was time and reps and a very understanding coach. She got the flyaway but still did not have the backwalkover on beam when meet season started so she thought she would not be competing at all. This added stress and really upset her. But her coach said he would spot her on beam if she wanted to take the deduction. She agreed to that did well in all other events and her confidence came back. When she saw her score on beam and realized that without the spot she would have been first, that really made an impact. By the end of meet season she was second on beam at every meet. Her coach believes that it does a gymnast no good to sit in the bleachers and watch. She needed to see for herself.

 

[gymjourneymom]

At 12 my daughter had the exact same problems. Think it was the fear thing but so frustrating for her. The answer was time and reps and a very understanding coach. She got the flyaway but still did not have the backwalkover on beam when meet season started so she thought she would not be competing at all. This added stress and really upset her. But her coach said he would spot her on beam if she wanted to take the deduction. She agreed to that did well in all other events and her confidence came back. When she saw her score on beam and realized that without the spot she would have been first, that really made an impact. By the end of meet season she was second on beam at every meet. Her coach believes that it does a gymnast no good to sit in the bleachers and watch. She needed to see for herself.

Hey Dallas Gym Mom, I think our DD's must be twins! My DD also had a fear of beam BWO's back in L6. It took her until the last meet of the season to finally compete beam(her HC would not allow a spot in competition). But when she finally went for it, she came in 1st on beam! As Md Gym Mom said, many of the girls with fear issues are perfectionist. I know my DD is. She expects herself to do every new skill perfectly the 1st time, or she thinks she can't do it at all. It's all mental for her. My DD either does it perfectly or she just won't go for it at all...there is no in the middle for her...that's what's so frustrating for all involved. But with lots of time & practice she has managed to overcome all of her fears so far & she's been a state champ 3 years in a row. It's especially sweet when she knows she's got a fear beat, I love the look on her face at those times. It's priceless! I'm always proud of her, but especially at those times. Because I know how hard she worked to over come a fear. That's the kind of determination I know will serve her well later in life & makes all of this stress & struggling worth it. Hang in there kikimom...your DD will get there on her own time table. I recommend not discussing it with her too much, or asking her too many details about practice. It may just stress her out more. Good luck!